there're so many things that i really dont understand =/ siigh.. i've been trying to figure out, but i still have no idea..
luckily gay-hung they all dont read my blog. sounds so different from how i appear to be in the hospital. haha my blog sounds like its chronically depressed. but maybe its cos im always blogging when im half asleep and sian.

why is everyone so busy?

and you!! quickly finish your work so i can rant!! ahhh!!!

i don't like....
have been using this phrase quite a lot nowadays, in my thoughts, in my conversations..

not looking forward to tomorrow or the day after or the day after tomorrow or the day after tomorrow tomorrow.....yah you get the gist..

haha! and J is not that great looking.. prob just boy-boy cute! HAHA!! so funny!!!!!

i've been having alternating good and bad days this week.
surgery has finally started. this week has been a self-declared non-studying week by me! and so far i've been adhering to it. left the hosp as early as i could everyday, went out, watched tv, ktv-ed etc etc etc..
monday was a good (half) day.. tuesday was shit at first, but alright in the end! wednesday was fruitful. and today (thursday) was sian! lets see what tomorrow brings me =(

i've been thinking about things.. and maybe i should really stop doing too many things for people. sometimes it just goes unappreciated.. sometimes it leads into some huge argument with another party.. ah sigh..
well, at least someone said she thinks i've kinda matured, and changed slightly since she left some time ago in april.

mixed thoughts in my mind on what i should and should not do. what i should or should not put up with.
so many random statements written down one after another to make up a post. really reflects the state of my mind now. ha!

and once again, im not pissy or angsty! and some people should just stop saying those things!! tsktskkkk!!!!! ;p

dont you agree that life is unfair? some people are just so lucky.. do nothing, and get away with things so easily. too bad these lucky things dont ever happen to me =(

decisions decisions..
somehow the decisions that i seem to have to make these days are so trivial.. dont even know if its worth my time thinking about them..

what a terrible morning! so tiring! and now my fate of this medicine posting rests on what, 2 rheumatology short cases??? of which i spent like less than an hr last night reading the procedure of examining the hands =/ please be nicer and pass me! i cant believe that after 8 weeks of posting in the wards, i was tested on things i barely read for an hr! =/ and they're both rheumatology cases =( =( =( =( what happened to murmurs and crepitations and hepatosplenomegaly and hyper-reflexes.. siigh.. all i had were gouty trophi, psoriatic arthritis.. i think instead of examining the woman with psoriatic arthritis, the doctor was like giving me a tutorial in the room.. omg la =( =( anyway, i hope he passed me! hurhur.. cant even convince myself.. and the stupid-est thing was that i didnt even use my stethoscope or tendon tapper or anything i brought with me.. yah whine whine whine..

anyway, a certain f*ck guy is really deserving of his surname! hrmph! if you know who im talking about..

so many changes.. people, places, situations.. i really wish that sometimes i could re-live some parts of the past.. the happy times, the fun times with friends, the meaningful times with family.. anything! sometimes i wish that people wont change so much..
anyway, another change is gonna happen soon again, and more time is needed to get settled into a whole new huge bustling environment.. might not be a bad thing! since sometimes i do actually welcome changes.. just depends on what..
i guess certain changes are good.. but as i went back to an all familiar place for the last time today, and met again with really really nice helpful people.. i wonder when i'll ever see them again..

ah test tmr! =( feel so restless and tired..

haha this is a rather proud moment! can you believe that im still up? and im reading my textbook! (ok, i -was- reading my textbook till i decided to slack for a bit).. the last time i stayed up this late to study (and mind you, its only 1235am now) was prob for pros in m2.. thats all.. after that its been sleeping early and earlier.. or out playing till late.. HA! i hope this last minute studying will actually pay-off.. just realised that im some slack shit today after talking to a friend over the phone, and in horror, realising that i havent seen so many cases/conditions! hmmm.. *crosses fingers* *prays* hoping to pass! hoping that the past 8 weeks wont go to waste.. haha i hope random things i hear during ward rounds come out for mcqs tmr! (then at least waking up at an unearthly hour and going hospital early will actually pay off) haha but lets see how =)

im in a rather good mood now.. albeit feeling scared just now =/ just 2 more days!

i cant think of any other stuffs to blog about cos the things on my mind now are mcqs mcqs mcqs and long case short case.. i was just talking to someone the other day, and we both realise that 8 weeks have gone by quite fast.. dont think we learnt as much as we're supposed to in these 8 weeks =( too late for regrets! just hope that all goes well for the mcqs and long and short cases..

haha i really like this! =)

and i really like the glittery white photoalbum.. even though it had like tonnes of bad photos of me =( but its nice looking at the other photos and seeing the important people in my life =)

shall try to feel happy and look forward to a new week ahead! nothing much to look forward to.. except that i cant wait for the test to be over! then its end of medicine posting! haha 8 weeks! felt like i didnt do much even though each and every day was just tiring..

=(

anyway, public holiday today was great! didnt have to wake up early to go to changi.. which is becoming quite a chore! haha but it turned out that i still went to the east today again! for Brandon's farewell party.. hmm i cant seem to get rid of the changi area =P

i kinda have many things on my mind these days.. haha dont blame me for looking tired, cos i definitely am physically tired! and its been amounting to no studying cos i just fall asleep so easily.. i dunno how im supposed to study so much in the next one week for the mcqs and end of posting test.. failing seems quite a possible thing.. but i shall try not to go there at all.. think everyone knows more than me.. like seriously =/

depressing post this one is turning out to be.. oh well! the weekend is here.. (almost!)

oh right.. just wanna thank everyone who came for my birthday party dinner =) really appreciate you all for being there! everyone of you came into life at some point in time and i really enjoy the relationships that i have with each one of you! it means alot to me to have you as a friend =) hard to express everything in words, so yup, just wanna say a huge thank you once again!!

haha an interesting night.. amazing im still awake =) the things that keep me up till this late - (def not school work or studying).. ah, shant elaborate further.. sleepy sleepy.. its another day in the wards tmr.. OH! today the consultant asked me today if im learning anything during ward rounds.. haha! grrr i very much wanted to say NO! =P but before i could answer her, she said something like how she feels very bad for making us waste time cos we're not learning much.. ah-HA! there you go! please please no more ward rounds! its good if the cases are interesting, if the registrars or assoc-consultants are nice.. but if not.. then.............
OMG! i can heard myself wheeze.. some expiratory sound! =( =( =( quite low-pitched tho.. not high-pitched.. ok.. its probably just time to sleep..

anyway, it was nice chatting with you babe! haha alright, not really a "babe" per se, but nvm ;p can pass off if i imagine hard enough la!