having been relief teaching for quite some time now, i must say that it's been quite exciting (compared to other jobs! =P) many people have been saying that they find their jobs very boring as they always face the computer, or pick up phones.. well, i'm just glad to be given the oportunity to experience life as a teacher! and though it is tiring (which job isn't right? =P), and it can be very energy-draining at times, but at least i don't face the same things each day! it might be the same students that i see everyday, but they behave differently everyday and most of my classes are really hilarious! i always have a good laugh when i enter all my 4 classes! and when i have free time, it's always spent slacking with my fellow "colleagues" =P haha! so yah! at least my working experience isn't that mundane and boring..
it's not all fun and laughter.. it can be really stressful! i remember i was super stressed when my classes had to finish this experiment (some spring thing) within 2 periods.. and i was constantly rushing and rushing them, but somehow, students don't sense the urgency in the teacher's voice! not that i wasn't guilty of it when i was a student too? but now that i'm in the position of the teacher, i get to experience all these ahem "great" things! haha
one of the students said something like, our class is actually very fun, if u're a student.. then i added, but not when i'm the teacher! haha i guess my class gave our teachers their fair share of noise and nonsense too! and i can definitely understand where they are coming from =) but well, i don't think my class was ever that bad! but i'll never know! =P
and after marking test papers, it is really quite saddening to see students fail.. cos i'll always wonder to myself, does the problem lie with me? am i not teaching properly? or is it just that the students in that class isn't studying? and sometimes i really feel that i'm talking to a wall cos hardly anyone listens.. sigh.. i really cannot expect any job to be so smooth sailing right?
on the otherhand, it's very uplifting to see students work hard and pass their tests in the end and those who ask questions in class! wow! i had a surprise today, this student in my class always sleeps in lessons and today, he actually took out his notes to read!! (though he still didn't pay attention) i hope to see more of these "surprises" from my classes! =P
actually one of the reasons i don't usually scold my classes is cos i really can't bring myself to? i know sometimes i must enforce some discipline, but it's a very tiring feeling to scold people. and it's first 3 months, no one listens in lects and tutorials anyway! i really have to "plead" with my classes to do their work and hand them up! =/
i think i've grown to tolerate many different people.. and some of the students are just acting naughty and tough on the outside, but actually they are really nice and thoughful and sincere people. and it's the other side of them that i'd rather see. it's my wish that the classes can start to work really soon. i know that when i was a student, i played my first 3 months away too! but now that i can say "i'm speaking from experience", i realise that it's not wise.. and this i've told a lot of people, but well, doubt anyone heeded this "rubbish" advice =P
i don't hate any classes, cos all the classes are so lovable in different ways. and i think this is the plus point of being a teacher =) the students can be really sweet, and these are the ones that leave good memories for you! well, i dunno how long more i'm going to teach, but i shall treasure whatever time i have left as a relief teacher!
i think i'll miss my classes when i stop teaching them.. =\
Saturday, February 26, 2005
Wednesday, February 23, 2005
a reason for everything
sometimes we tend to question why God does certain things? but i've learnt that He really does have a reason for doing the things he does!
many a times when i feel far away from God, He always reminds me of what He has done for me! even the littlest of things, God always has a plan. and its through these blessings that God has showered upon me, and the constant reminder that God is always there for me, that i become more reassured of His mighty presence. one wonderful thing that the Lord did for me was to not put me down for work this sat (which is combined youth service!) =)
you always don't realise that God is actually leading you through life till you just take a step back from the busi-ess of life and just reflect on your week or days =) it's in times of busi-ness that i really treasure the quiet times i can spend by myself at nights. and that's part of the reason of me wanting to stop working weekends so i can spend more time in church and just rest and recover from the tired week! but i wonder also whether it's an impulsive decision that i'll sort of regret later? sigh, it's back to making decisions again!
who knows what the future holds for us? only God! and it takes a lot of faith to follow Christ and to trust in Him. it's easy to say that wow! God gave me excellent results in the As, or wow! God made me successful in my career! and to heap praises upon the Lord. but what if life is not smooth-sailing for us, what if everything is not going the right way, can we still say "thank you Lord for what you're doing for me" now? i think that requires a lot of faith cos many of us will start to question again "does God really have a plan for me?"
well, i'll leave you to that! and all the best for results next week! =)
many a times when i feel far away from God, He always reminds me of what He has done for me! even the littlest of things, God always has a plan. and its through these blessings that God has showered upon me, and the constant reminder that God is always there for me, that i become more reassured of His mighty presence. one wonderful thing that the Lord did for me was to not put me down for work this sat (which is combined youth service!) =)
you always don't realise that God is actually leading you through life till you just take a step back from the busi-ess of life and just reflect on your week or days =) it's in times of busi-ness that i really treasure the quiet times i can spend by myself at nights. and that's part of the reason of me wanting to stop working weekends so i can spend more time in church and just rest and recover from the tired week! but i wonder also whether it's an impulsive decision that i'll sort of regret later? sigh, it's back to making decisions again!
who knows what the future holds for us? only God! and it takes a lot of faith to follow Christ and to trust in Him. it's easy to say that wow! God gave me excellent results in the As, or wow! God made me successful in my career! and to heap praises upon the Lord. but what if life is not smooth-sailing for us, what if everything is not going the right way, can we still say "thank you Lord for what you're doing for me" now? i think that requires a lot of faith cos many of us will start to question again "does God really have a plan for me?"
well, i'll leave you to that! and all the best for results next week! =)
Friday, February 18, 2005
urgh!
argh! had quite a horrible day in sch today! and i just realise today that it's actually really really draining to get angry.. i'm not kidding! i got quite frustrated and angry with this class today, and when i stepped out of class and into the staff room, i was just so sian and tired and i felt like i didn't have much energy left..
actually, it wasn't the whole class that was misbehaving? it was only a few ppl.. they monkeyed in class, even broke a ruler in the process of playing! and worst of all, some didn't even do the experiment that they were supposed to do! urgh! it's really irritating! i guess some students just don't know their limits, they think oh relief teacher only what, i can fool around in class and not listen in class cos she can't really do anything! others just want to play during the first 3 months of jc, which is already sadly ending for those people..
or maybe it's cos i'm very bad at dealing with this kind of situations, that i can't control the class well enough, that's why the students are like that? but what am i expected to do? scold them and shout at them? maybe i'm just not strict enough with them! it's just that one class urgh! the rest of the classes are actually alright! all u need is a few bad students in a class, and it just changes the whole pespective and impression that u have of that class.. similarly, all it takes is for a few students to be nice to u and u just feel that it's a joy teaching a class! =)
..i think i won't want to become a teacher.. if i have to endure these kind of nonsense everyday from the students, i think i definitely won't be able to take it! =/
irritating!
actually, it wasn't the whole class that was misbehaving? it was only a few ppl.. they monkeyed in class, even broke a ruler in the process of playing! and worst of all, some didn't even do the experiment that they were supposed to do! urgh! it's really irritating! i guess some students just don't know their limits, they think oh relief teacher only what, i can fool around in class and not listen in class cos she can't really do anything! others just want to play during the first 3 months of jc, which is already sadly ending for those people..
or maybe it's cos i'm very bad at dealing with this kind of situations, that i can't control the class well enough, that's why the students are like that? but what am i expected to do? scold them and shout at them? maybe i'm just not strict enough with them! it's just that one class urgh! the rest of the classes are actually alright! all u need is a few bad students in a class, and it just changes the whole pespective and impression that u have of that class.. similarly, all it takes is for a few students to be nice to u and u just feel that it's a joy teaching a class! =)
..i think i won't want to become a teacher.. if i have to endure these kind of nonsense everyday from the students, i think i definitely won't be able to take it! =/
irritating!
Thursday, February 17, 2005
random thoughts
a struggle
"unconditional love" - two very simple words, it means loving someone else without any conditions. but it's just so difficult to apply it in our daily lives. maybe i'm speaking just for myself? when i think of unconditional love, i think of just being nice to people, and just accepting them for who they are. but then i'm sure there are people that everyone encounters people that irritates them, that gets on their nerves. and i shall admit that i'm no different from such people.. this is the time when i feel that it's not very practical to apply the concept of "unconditional love" cos i don't like to put up a facade in front of people? and i feel that being nice to someone i don't like would make me do just that! but as i was talking to a few people, it finally dawned on me that showing unconditional love doesn't essentially mean just being nice and amiable to others. it also involves pointing out each other's faults and helping each other to grow in Christ as well as to grow as a person, and well, just being true to one another =) but on the otherhand, how am i supposed to tell someone his/her faults when i don't even know that person well? that i don't even dare to open myself up in front of him/her?
practical lesson
anyway, on to lighter-hearted things, i had the most hilarious practical class on tue aft.. the students looked like china men sitting down on the floor and looking at the ruler oscillate! and when they were counting the number of oscillations, they looked so super serious (something that's really really rare during tutorial lessons)! so i was just there laughing at the class, and wondering to myself if i ever looked so dumb during a physics experiment.. haha! oh, there's more! their class broke a wooden meter rule as well as twisted a G-clamp out of alignment! btw, a G-clamp is made of metal and i literally heard a piece of the metal crack! =P
my thoughts on my career
i finally sorted out my thoughts (or rather, what i hope will be the final decision that i'll make =P) and i think i really want to pursue in speech therapy, hoping to specialise (if they have) in paediatrical speech pathology.. well, i think i like a job that involves me to associate with people on a personal level? and being a speech therapy will allow me time to get to know a patient better as i get to work with that patient for a substantial amount of time, treating him/her and helping them to improve =) then i always ask myself, won't med give me the same satisfaction? but somehow i feel that a doctor just treats u? say if i'm a gp in a polyclinic, i'll be seeing different people everyday, and the kind of level u talk to a person is a more professional one? not really that personal..
yah well, i guess u can tell that i'm always debating within myself whether i should do med or speech therapy. honestly, i dunno! time and results will tell! =P but at this point in time, i'll have to say speech therapy.. which means, i'll definitely have to go overseas and leave all my friends behind =\ i dunno! oh well..
decisions decisions decisions argh!
i really hate making decisions. God says that He has a plan for us, and each of us are created for a different purpose in life, which means that God already knows what He wants us to do before He even created us =) so why can't He give us fixed roles to play in the expansion of His kingdom instead of giving us choices? imagine if He did that, would there still be sin cos of self-centred people? or will His kingdom be instead filled with God-centred people? sometimes i really wonder, if God has a plan for us, why do we still need to make decisions? =P that's a retarded question! haha and a lousy excuse for me cos i don't like making decisions! hmm.. haha!!
"unconditional love" - two very simple words, it means loving someone else without any conditions. but it's just so difficult to apply it in our daily lives. maybe i'm speaking just for myself? when i think of unconditional love, i think of just being nice to people, and just accepting them for who they are. but then i'm sure there are people that everyone encounters people that irritates them, that gets on their nerves. and i shall admit that i'm no different from such people.. this is the time when i feel that it's not very practical to apply the concept of "unconditional love" cos i don't like to put up a facade in front of people? and i feel that being nice to someone i don't like would make me do just that! but as i was talking to a few people, it finally dawned on me that showing unconditional love doesn't essentially mean just being nice and amiable to others. it also involves pointing out each other's faults and helping each other to grow in Christ as well as to grow as a person, and well, just being true to one another =) but on the otherhand, how am i supposed to tell someone his/her faults when i don't even know that person well? that i don't even dare to open myself up in front of him/her?
practical lesson
anyway, on to lighter-hearted things, i had the most hilarious practical class on tue aft.. the students looked like china men sitting down on the floor and looking at the ruler oscillate! and when they were counting the number of oscillations, they looked so super serious (something that's really really rare during tutorial lessons)! so i was just there laughing at the class, and wondering to myself if i ever looked so dumb during a physics experiment.. haha! oh, there's more! their class broke a wooden meter rule as well as twisted a G-clamp out of alignment! btw, a G-clamp is made of metal and i literally heard a piece of the metal crack! =P
my thoughts on my career
i finally sorted out my thoughts (or rather, what i hope will be the final decision that i'll make =P) and i think i really want to pursue in speech therapy, hoping to specialise (if they have) in paediatrical speech pathology.. well, i think i like a job that involves me to associate with people on a personal level? and being a speech therapy will allow me time to get to know a patient better as i get to work with that patient for a substantial amount of time, treating him/her and helping them to improve =) then i always ask myself, won't med give me the same satisfaction? but somehow i feel that a doctor just treats u? say if i'm a gp in a polyclinic, i'll be seeing different people everyday, and the kind of level u talk to a person is a more professional one? not really that personal..
yah well, i guess u can tell that i'm always debating within myself whether i should do med or speech therapy. honestly, i dunno! time and results will tell! =P but at this point in time, i'll have to say speech therapy.. which means, i'll definitely have to go overseas and leave all my friends behind =\ i dunno! oh well..
decisions decisions decisions argh!
i really hate making decisions. God says that He has a plan for us, and each of us are created for a different purpose in life, which means that God already knows what He wants us to do before He even created us =) so why can't He give us fixed roles to play in the expansion of His kingdom instead of giving us choices? imagine if He did that, would there still be sin cos of self-centred people? or will His kingdom be instead filled with God-centred people? sometimes i really wonder, if God has a plan for us, why do we still need to make decisions? =P that's a retarded question! haha and a lousy excuse for me cos i don't like making decisions! hmm.. haha!!
Sunday, February 13, 2005
boring turned stressful day
suddenly i get this feeling of a dislike for working at cocoa trees. i must admit that i'm a person who cannot stand being alone for excessive periods of time, and my job at cocoa trees just reaffirmed that for me. initially i thought there'll at least be someone else working together with me? but it turns out that only one person works at each store (except the more crowded stores located in the depature hall) =\
somehow, i feel that this job is sucking the intelligence out of me! i'm just sitting at the counter, watching travellers collect their luggage. and hoping that some will walk into the shop and buy a whole lof of stuff! at the same time, keeping a look out for the boss or any of the supervisors in case they decide to pay a "surprise" visit! cos if they ever catch me writing letters during working hours, i think i'll be as good as sacked! =P
on the otherhand, because of my job, i'm actually able to sit down by myself to pen my thoughts and just think about the many things of life! one thing i've just enlightened myself to (while writing a letter to my friend) is that i've finally understood why a close relationship with God is always so important! sometimes when i feel distant from God as a result of not spending enough time with Him, i try to instead find comfort and reassurances in things that are material - friends, books, television etc. but i realise that when i'm continually seeking God and acknowledging His presence, even the simplest things i do become a joy! =) and that's when i truly appreciate the meaning of the "joy of the Lord is my strength" cos it's when i feel glad and happy about things that i'm actually spurred and motivated on to perform it better! =)
when i was closing the store, i was super stressed cos the guy who came to relieve me when i took my dinner break didn't keep a copy of the visa receipt of one transaction. so my total amount didn't tally with the amount shown on the receipt and being a new part-time staff like i am, i panicked and well, was just stressed out cos i didn't know what time the taxi man (the guy who sends all the staff home) would leave the airport. =\ argh. just glad that the day is over! had to pay $2 cos i think i gave someone the wrong change somewhere.. groan. oh well.
word of advice: next time when a cashier gives u the wrong change, just try to return the excess to him/her? cos it's a very sucky feeling for the cashier to have to top up the balance at the end of the day! i'm speaking from experience! =P
somehow, i feel that this job is sucking the intelligence out of me! i'm just sitting at the counter, watching travellers collect their luggage. and hoping that some will walk into the shop and buy a whole lof of stuff! at the same time, keeping a look out for the boss or any of the supervisors in case they decide to pay a "surprise" visit! cos if they ever catch me writing letters during working hours, i think i'll be as good as sacked! =P
on the otherhand, because of my job, i'm actually able to sit down by myself to pen my thoughts and just think about the many things of life! one thing i've just enlightened myself to (while writing a letter to my friend) is that i've finally understood why a close relationship with God is always so important! sometimes when i feel distant from God as a result of not spending enough time with Him, i try to instead find comfort and reassurances in things that are material - friends, books, television etc. but i realise that when i'm continually seeking God and acknowledging His presence, even the simplest things i do become a joy! =) and that's when i truly appreciate the meaning of the "joy of the Lord is my strength" cos it's when i feel glad and happy about things that i'm actually spurred and motivated on to perform it better! =)
when i was closing the store, i was super stressed cos the guy who came to relieve me when i took my dinner break didn't keep a copy of the visa receipt of one transaction. so my total amount didn't tally with the amount shown on the receipt and being a new part-time staff like i am, i panicked and well, was just stressed out cos i didn't know what time the taxi man (the guy who sends all the staff home) would leave the airport. =\ argh. just glad that the day is over! had to pay $2 cos i think i gave someone the wrong change somewhere.. groan. oh well.
word of advice: next time when a cashier gives u the wrong change, just try to return the excess to him/her? cos it's a very sucky feeling for the cashier to have to top up the balance at the end of the day! i'm speaking from experience! =P
Saturday, February 12, 2005
too much of work?
so many people went back to school today that the teachers were saying that it's the dress rehearsal for results day.. eeps! =\ anyway, yl anna ks ben ian brandon marc simian kenneth and thousands of other j3s went back to school today! and many stayed on to watch the ac idol.
ac idol, it certainly brought back the feeling of life as a student again, squeezing through the crowd to get into the hall, just sitting there enjoying myself, and cheering loudly when mr patrick sum (tau-fat-patty-sum!) and mr mark ng (syl-fat-ster-ng!) sang! =) but i can't help thinking that if only there was ac idol last yr, it would have been more fun cos at least i would know most of the people taking part! but anyway, i think if they have an open category, kenneth should join and be the vocalist! =P cos the bands weren't really that gd haha!
anyway, i'm beginning to think if i've taken up too many things these days. i can hardly find time to meet up with my ex schoolmates, some whom i haven't seen in ages! and even days that i'm free, i'd rather slack them off at home, cos i hardly ever have the time to just sit down and idle my time away. sigh. i hate the feeling of not doing anything, and yet, i hate the feeling of being too busy! ok, i sound super confusing there! but if i were to not work and go out everyday, i'll begin to find that life becomes very frivilous! on the otherhand, if i were to work like mad and not have a social life, that'll make me go insane! haha
i can't seem to find a nice balance. i'm spurred on to work harder by the prospect of getting more money so i can go for a few nice hols before i start uni. but sometimes, i wonder if i compromise the time i spend with God by putting in these extra hrs of work. cos when i reach home late, i tend to like the feeling of just slacking and talking nonsense, and well, time passese very quickly when i'm doing that. and it kind of leaves me very little time to reflect and talk to God..
to all my friends: let's meet up sometime soon yah? =) i don't want to lose the friendships that i've forged over the yrs (cliche as it may sound =P)!
ac idol, it certainly brought back the feeling of life as a student again, squeezing through the crowd to get into the hall, just sitting there enjoying myself, and cheering loudly when mr patrick sum (tau-fat-patty-sum!) and mr mark ng (syl-fat-ster-ng!) sang! =) but i can't help thinking that if only there was ac idol last yr, it would have been more fun cos at least i would know most of the people taking part! but anyway, i think if they have an open category, kenneth should join and be the vocalist! =P cos the bands weren't really that gd haha!
anyway, i'm beginning to think if i've taken up too many things these days. i can hardly find time to meet up with my ex schoolmates, some whom i haven't seen in ages! and even days that i'm free, i'd rather slack them off at home, cos i hardly ever have the time to just sit down and idle my time away. sigh. i hate the feeling of not doing anything, and yet, i hate the feeling of being too busy! ok, i sound super confusing there! but if i were to not work and go out everyday, i'll begin to find that life becomes very frivilous! on the otherhand, if i were to work like mad and not have a social life, that'll make me go insane! haha
i can't seem to find a nice balance. i'm spurred on to work harder by the prospect of getting more money so i can go for a few nice hols before i start uni. but sometimes, i wonder if i compromise the time i spend with God by putting in these extra hrs of work. cos when i reach home late, i tend to like the feeling of just slacking and talking nonsense, and well, time passese very quickly when i'm doing that. and it kind of leaves me very little time to reflect and talk to God..
to all my friends: let's meet up sometime soon yah? =) i don't want to lose the friendships that i've forged over the yrs (cliche as it may sound =P)!
Thursday, February 10, 2005
doomsday
i played mahjong with my family today, and i didn't even win a single game! =( sigh, life is so unfair! and hurray! i just got my pay from relief teaching! =)
anyway, i just heard that results are coming on march 4?? that's horrendously soon! yikes! never imagined that the day will arrive! sigh.. that's ard 3 more weeks only! ahh.. i always feel very jittery thinking about results! it's inevitable i tell u! doomsday..... it seems like everything depends on the lousy A level results. what happens if i don't do well? sigh it's just something i'm hoping won't happen! but that's like what everyone's hoping also right? haha
i don't even know why i'm so caught up with results! argh, i should just leave everything in God's hands. that's what i've been telling myself daily. it's not working. sigh, me of little faith! my heart is beating quite fast now, i can't imagine what will happen to me come results day.
alright, i'll stop this nonsense entry now! cos i'm only scaring myself thinking of results! btw, stop talking to me about results ok? thanx! =)
u know what? ben finally admitted that he's more nonsense than me! (for today at least!)
anyway, i just heard that results are coming on march 4?? that's horrendously soon! yikes! never imagined that the day will arrive! sigh.. that's ard 3 more weeks only! ahh.. i always feel very jittery thinking about results! it's inevitable i tell u! doomsday..... it seems like everything depends on the lousy A level results. what happens if i don't do well? sigh it's just something i'm hoping won't happen! but that's like what everyone's hoping also right? haha
i don't even know why i'm so caught up with results! argh, i should just leave everything in God's hands. that's what i've been telling myself daily. it's not working. sigh, me of little faith! my heart is beating quite fast now, i can't imagine what will happen to me come results day.
alright, i'll stop this nonsense entry now! cos i'm only scaring myself thinking of results! btw, stop talking to me about results ok? thanx! =)
u know what? ben finally admitted that he's more nonsense than me! (for today at least!)
Wednesday, February 09, 2005
the uncertain future
i'm thinking about scholarships again and sometimes i ask myself, if i don't get a scholarship, will i still be able to get a job after i complete my studies? u know, everything seems so uncertain for me. even though i know that God has a plan for me? but many times i'm just afraid to ask, afraid that God wants something that is totally different from what i want. at this point in time, i'm considering on doing speech therapy. someone said it's a lucrative job. but nah, it's not really the money that i'm looking forward to? but rather, i want a career that allows me to interact with different ppl, able to help those ppl that are in need. then why not med? somehow, i don't really know if i can survive the initial long working hrs. many ppl have been discouraging me from studying med, but at the end of the day, it's up to God!
i think i initially wanted to do med from all the watching of chinese dramas on television, that made doctors look so good and made med look like a very relaxing profession! well, i have to agree that med is a very fulfilling profession, but somehow, i always question myself if i have enough drive and passion to last the many yrs of studying. i won't know it till i've tried it right? but do i even have the guts to try it?
on the otherhand, being a speech therapist isn't a bad idea at all. communication is such an essential part of our lives, and imagine if whatever u said can't be understood, or becomes misinterpreted by others? sometimes, a speech problem can cause u to be laughed at by others, somehow looked down upon perhaps? and won't that person feel inferior and well, kind of afraid to meet ppl? and i'm speaking from real life experience, not that i've been through it myself, but rather, someone close to me. these ppl are sometimes misunderstood because they cannot bring their thoughts across and i guess it takes lots of patience to become a speech therapist.
all these thoughts probably doesn't make sense, it doesn't to me either! i feel like i'm debating within myself, trying to figure out what i would like to do as a career. sigh. it's tough making these decisions, especially when i don't even know how well i'm going to do for As. but whatever it is, the Lord is always good and He will always be there! =)
i think i initially wanted to do med from all the watching of chinese dramas on television, that made doctors look so good and made med look like a very relaxing profession! well, i have to agree that med is a very fulfilling profession, but somehow, i always question myself if i have enough drive and passion to last the many yrs of studying. i won't know it till i've tried it right? but do i even have the guts to try it?
on the otherhand, being a speech therapist isn't a bad idea at all. communication is such an essential part of our lives, and imagine if whatever u said can't be understood, or becomes misinterpreted by others? sometimes, a speech problem can cause u to be laughed at by others, somehow looked down upon perhaps? and won't that person feel inferior and well, kind of afraid to meet ppl? and i'm speaking from real life experience, not that i've been through it myself, but rather, someone close to me. these ppl are sometimes misunderstood because they cannot bring their thoughts across and i guess it takes lots of patience to become a speech therapist.
all these thoughts probably doesn't make sense, it doesn't to me either! i feel like i'm debating within myself, trying to figure out what i would like to do as a career. sigh. it's tough making these decisions, especially when i don't even know how well i'm going to do for As. but whatever it is, the Lord is always good and He will always be there! =)
Tuesday, February 08, 2005
too random for a title
sigh.. someone just reminded me that As results are going to come out in 3 weeks time =/ and everytime i think of results, i get jitters! though i'm reminded by many others countless times to leave all my worries in God's hands! sometimes i find that easier said than done? but well, the Lord provides the peace from all the everyday worries and anxiousness =) and anyway, God has a plan for each and everyone of us, we just have to trust in Him that in His time, everything will be gd!
i watched the nkf children's medical fund program on channel news asia just now and it's very sad and disheartening to know that there's so many ppl out there who are so much more unfortunate than i am. and sometimes, i really don't treasure the normal life that i lead. these ppl are so thankful that they're living and have no time to worry themselves over insignificant issues but here i am getting irritated at ppl for no reason! shouldn't i at least be thankful that i can communicate with ppl around me and be able to experience these emotions? and to be more tolerant of other's weaknesses?
scholarships. is ur status in life so dependent on scholarships? if u're a scholar, u can rise faster in the ranks! that's what the govt and the army and everyone says! which means, if u think abt it, ur life is marked out and determined (by the govt if not for anything else) by the age of like 16 or 18? that's rather young right? but well, scholarships are offered only to the best and brightest of the students. and i'm very hesitant to apply partly cos i think i'm not what they call 'scholar material' if u get what i mean? in other words i'm just not brilliant enough.. which is true! =) well, some ppl got rejected by psc, does that mean the end for them? i certainly hope not! scholarships are not just the one thing in life that is impt! rem that God does have a plan and it's in His plan to prosper us and not to harm us, and to give us a future and a hope! =)
this entry is rather random cos i'm just typing whatever that comes to mind! and it sounds very incoherent too! oh well.. one of those i-want-to-feel-intelligent-but-am-not-succeeding nights! =P
i watched the nkf children's medical fund program on channel news asia just now and it's very sad and disheartening to know that there's so many ppl out there who are so much more unfortunate than i am. and sometimes, i really don't treasure the normal life that i lead. these ppl are so thankful that they're living and have no time to worry themselves over insignificant issues but here i am getting irritated at ppl for no reason! shouldn't i at least be thankful that i can communicate with ppl around me and be able to experience these emotions? and to be more tolerant of other's weaknesses?
scholarships. is ur status in life so dependent on scholarships? if u're a scholar, u can rise faster in the ranks! that's what the govt and the army and everyone says! which means, if u think abt it, ur life is marked out and determined (by the govt if not for anything else) by the age of like 16 or 18? that's rather young right? but well, scholarships are offered only to the best and brightest of the students. and i'm very hesitant to apply partly cos i think i'm not what they call 'scholar material' if u get what i mean? in other words i'm just not brilliant enough.. which is true! =) well, some ppl got rejected by psc, does that mean the end for them? i certainly hope not! scholarships are not just the one thing in life that is impt! rem that God does have a plan and it's in His plan to prosper us and not to harm us, and to give us a future and a hope! =)
this entry is rather random cos i'm just typing whatever that comes to mind! and it sounds very incoherent too! oh well.. one of those i-want-to-feel-intelligent-but-am-not-succeeding nights! =P
Monday, February 07, 2005
my weekend
i was working at cocoa trees at the terminal 1 arrival hall and i can spend 3 hrs not serving a single customer! but the crowd there depends on the flights so i can spend the whole morning sitting on the chair, and just waiting for time to past! i start work at 6! =P i'm so blur and sleepy in the morn that i just have to sit down on the chair and i'll doze off! waking up to the sound of customers in the store! haha. it ain't all so bad! i actually found wiping the shelves fun! can u imagine that?? me liking cleaning? =P haha not that i'm implying that i would want to be a cleaner in the future! nothing of that sort! all the time i'll just be looking forward to my break and nothing else! or else i'll start writing letters and stealing their plastic bags, ribbons, stickers, papers =P haha!
i realise that even though i feel really happy when the customers buy a lot! but somehow i find that these kind of sales job isn't that fulfilling. no offense to anyone who wants to do sales in the future! =P personally though, i think it's quite a mundane job? cos u just do the same things over and over again. and well, i don't really like these kinds of jobs anyway.
yay! nowadays i don't have to work fri nights at cocoa trees. the boss, though unreasonable he may be, didn't ask for any reason when i told him i can't work fri nights! =P and it's definitely the Lord that helped me in my time of need again. cos as i did my qt that time, i came across this sentence after i prayed about whether i should work on fri nights, "80-hr workweeks grant a sense of fulfilment, but never remove the thirst". the thirst here refers to spiritual thirst for the Lord. instead, the Lord wants us to find time to rest and abide in His love =)
i realise that even though i feel really happy when the customers buy a lot! but somehow i find that these kind of sales job isn't that fulfilling. no offense to anyone who wants to do sales in the future! =P personally though, i think it's quite a mundane job? cos u just do the same things over and over again. and well, i don't really like these kinds of jobs anyway.
yay! nowadays i don't have to work fri nights at cocoa trees. the boss, though unreasonable he may be, didn't ask for any reason when i told him i can't work fri nights! =P and it's definitely the Lord that helped me in my time of need again. cos as i did my qt that time, i came across this sentence after i prayed about whether i should work on fri nights, "80-hr workweeks grant a sense of fulfilment, but never remove the thirst". the thirst here refers to spiritual thirst for the Lord. instead, the Lord wants us to find time to rest and abide in His love =)
Friday, February 04, 2005
disjointed thoughts
went out for dinner with yl and april today at pastamania and anna abandoned us! =P anyway, we were just talking and i think what yl said was really true. that after sch ended with the As exam, our class doesn't seem as close as it was before. i guess it's difficult to meet up reguarly with the girls working (mostly =P) and the guys having only about a day to catch up with their families and the girlfriends! =P i hope that our class keeps in touch and continues to meet up even after a few yrs down the rd. cos everday when i walk into classes, i'm always reminded of our class, and a sense of nostalgia comes over me. suddenly i'm the teacher, no longer seated down trying to stay awake in tutorials, no longer laughing with my classmates about the silliest things, and no longer having to just stop at the 1st and 5th floor (a priviledge i guess!). haha and fab soong is super hilarious! she is april's and my daily source of abdomen exercise!
well, teaching isn't all that pleasant, trust me! i never could imagine a teacher getting irritated and angry over students not doing work? but i acutally got very irritated with this class cos they never even did the one single qn i told them to do! and huh, i finally realise that a certain class is very individualistic and well, doesn't show any respect for the teacher. they just make noise and more noise when the teacher's about to start lesson. and when lesson started, no one paid any attention cos maybe the qns were too easy for them! what can i say? it just makes me treasure my class even more! =)
anyway, it was really great hanging out with yl and april! and having anna come to sch! anna, the almond cookies are really gd! i think i ate abt 10 pieces =
oh and i earned my first pay check! actually it came in cash, but it was 100 bucks from tuition-ing a pri 6 kid =)
and lastly i just want to add that God indeed answers prayers =) cos i was praying that i would get classes to teach these 2 days, and wow! i had to cover classes today, and might cover even more classes tmr!
well, teaching isn't all that pleasant, trust me! i never could imagine a teacher getting irritated and angry over students not doing work? but i acutally got very irritated with this class cos they never even did the one single qn i told them to do! and huh, i finally realise that a certain class is very individualistic and well, doesn't show any respect for the teacher. they just make noise and more noise when the teacher's about to start lesson. and when lesson started, no one paid any attention cos maybe the qns were too easy for them! what can i say? it just makes me treasure my class even more! =)
anyway, it was really great hanging out with yl and april! and having anna come to sch! anna, the almond cookies are really gd! i think i ate abt 10 pieces =
oh and i earned my first pay check! actually it came in cash, but it was 100 bucks from tuition-ing a pri 6 kid =)
and lastly i just want to add that God indeed answers prayers =) cos i was praying that i would get classes to teach these 2 days, and wow! i had to cover classes today, and might cover even more classes tmr!
Thursday, February 03, 2005
thoughts on past 2 weeks
teaching
a lot of times, u have to be in the shoes of someone to experience what life is like for that person. well, having covered physics classes for the past 2 weeks or so, i've learnt that being a teacher is really not easy! now i know how dreadful it is to walk into a class that is unresponsive and dead! and it's not fun! so sorry to all the teachers when our class was unresponsive and sian! =P but sometimes, it's not really the student's fault? i walked into this class on tue (when i covered this teacher) and they were SUPER quiet! no one responded when i asked if they understood even though i knew they were paying attention. so after a while i was really irritated by them, and told them that i hated quiet and unresponsive classes and that they should talk more! =) well, they became noisy in the end (but i prefer classes like that anyway =P) and when i asked why they were so quiet, they said it's cos their teacher would scold them when they talk! i really don't understand how teachers can tahan quiet classes? =P
and i tell u, the staff rm is a really funny place! i walked into the staff rm this morn and heard this bunch of male teachers talking abt the united arsenal match! haha u would never expect teachers to talk abt this would u? =P esp when they appear so strict and all in class? haha well, my experience as a relief teacher is quite hilarious! firstly, there's this 'colleague' who keeps saying that i'm very cheena! =P and another who threw a pencil to me (to return it) with the lead sticking out! so hmm, the pencil landed on my hand 'lead-on'! haha this teacher said 'gd morning sir!' to me this morn! guess he's worked too hard! =P
some classes that i walk into have students that remind me of my classmates! there's always this person in the class who resembles teoh zhiwei-the class clown! =P haha brings back very gd and fond memories! and well, mr loo was saying that in the grand juniors class, there are these 3 ppl who are like marc simian zhiwei! last ppl to go into class, talk talk talk during lesson! and one of them even sits like simian! super hilarious! haha! =P
bible study
hmm my ysg started this tue nights bible study thing and it's really enriching! =) we're doing the series - living life together. it's part of the purpose driven life package. i think it just brings me closer to God once again as i talk to my spiritual partner - grace! abt our christian life and stuff! really glad that u're my spiritual partner! =) and i look forward to more sharing and praying with u! we have to get our encounter with God book! and don't forget to read 2 chps of the bible each day! =) i think through this bible study, i've learnt to make God a greater part of my life! i thought that chapel on mon was really great cos i was constantly reminded that the Lord doesn't want a stage performance for the audience to enjoy, but rather, he wants us to truly worship Him with our hearts and truly mean what we say when we sing the lyrics. i'm very thankful that i went for this chapel practice cos i think i've got to understand and feel what it means to have true worship =)
to end off
this is a rather long post, and will probably be my longest ever! =P it's always gd to start strong anyway! haha
a lot of times, u have to be in the shoes of someone to experience what life is like for that person. well, having covered physics classes for the past 2 weeks or so, i've learnt that being a teacher is really not easy! now i know how dreadful it is to walk into a class that is unresponsive and dead! and it's not fun! so sorry to all the teachers when our class was unresponsive and sian! =P but sometimes, it's not really the student's fault? i walked into this class on tue (when i covered this teacher) and they were SUPER quiet! no one responded when i asked if they understood even though i knew they were paying attention. so after a while i was really irritated by them, and told them that i hated quiet and unresponsive classes and that they should talk more! =) well, they became noisy in the end (but i prefer classes like that anyway =P) and when i asked why they were so quiet, they said it's cos their teacher would scold them when they talk! i really don't understand how teachers can tahan quiet classes? =P
and i tell u, the staff rm is a really funny place! i walked into the staff rm this morn and heard this bunch of male teachers talking abt the united arsenal match! haha u would never expect teachers to talk abt this would u? =P esp when they appear so strict and all in class? haha well, my experience as a relief teacher is quite hilarious! firstly, there's this 'colleague' who keeps saying that i'm very cheena! =P and another who threw a pencil to me (to return it) with the lead sticking out! so hmm, the pencil landed on my hand 'lead-on'! haha this teacher said 'gd morning sir!' to me this morn! guess he's worked too hard! =P
some classes that i walk into have students that remind me of my classmates! there's always this person in the class who resembles teoh zhiwei-the class clown! =P haha brings back very gd and fond memories! and well, mr loo was saying that in the grand juniors class, there are these 3 ppl who are like marc simian zhiwei! last ppl to go into class, talk talk talk during lesson! and one of them even sits like simian! super hilarious! haha! =P
bible study
hmm my ysg started this tue nights bible study thing and it's really enriching! =) we're doing the series - living life together. it's part of the purpose driven life package. i think it just brings me closer to God once again as i talk to my spiritual partner - grace! abt our christian life and stuff! really glad that u're my spiritual partner! =) and i look forward to more sharing and praying with u! we have to get our encounter with God book! and don't forget to read 2 chps of the bible each day! =) i think through this bible study, i've learnt to make God a greater part of my life! i thought that chapel on mon was really great cos i was constantly reminded that the Lord doesn't want a stage performance for the audience to enjoy, but rather, he wants us to truly worship Him with our hearts and truly mean what we say when we sing the lyrics. i'm very thankful that i went for this chapel practice cos i think i've got to understand and feel what it means to have true worship =)
to end off
this is a rather long post, and will probably be my longest ever! =P it's always gd to start strong anyway! haha
the beginning
i dunno what inspired me to get a blog but one of the main factor is cos i'm feeling rather free these days =) and thanx to april chin that i came up with the title and address for my blog! u know, i dunno why april and anna always think that i'm talking nonsense? but on the account that i've known them for a gd part of my life (2 yrs to be exact!), i'll be magnanimous! anyway, we have to always forgive and forget right? =P
someone please help me with my blog? i know nuts abt html and i have no idea how to change anything! diane, i know u learnt html. so help please? =P
someone please help me with my blog? i know nuts abt html and i have no idea how to change anything! diane, i know u learnt html. so help please? =P
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