Funny tihngs about theatre

You meet people, and they become your world for a month, a year, the run of a show; then the show closes and they're gone. You move on to the next set of auditions, technical interviews, get a job at a restaurant so you can pay the rent. It's a small community (theatre), but where do all these people go once you've parted ways and they all disappear? Are life long friendships formed or are we all just fleeting acquaintances, are careers irrevocably tarnished or do people just fade into the mists? Who are we as people who move from one city to the next just to pursue what we love and get paid for it? What kind of person does it take to be one of those who are not permanently scared from not having their feet on the ground... to be adrift for such a large part of their lives. Stunted relationships, inflated egos, divas ready to dome out of the easy bake oven, just so we get to pretend to be some one else in some other place oh a stage flooded by glistening lights for 90 minutes, two hours and so on eight times a week. Does it get to be a lonely existence being pulled in different directions as the seasons change and one month fades into the next? What is it that drives people in theatre so intensely? And would I still be happy if I was not one of the many in this insane community?

an e-mail to a friend

So I'm just really bummed out... again. What the fuck! there must be something in the air here because this is like the second time I've been depressed for an extend period of time. I don't know what to do and my mom basically just told me "so you fucked up now deal with it" and that my father never really believed that I was serious about theatre because i went to Platteville... so now I'm screwed, my father doesn't believe in me (a fucking bee just flew in my room because there isn't a screen on my window and my room stinks too much to have it closed!) I want to go talk to some of the actors about what I should do because I have no idea how to pursue from here, but I really don't know any of them very well... not to say that I'm not trying to get to know them better. It just sucks, I don't know what I'm doing with my life, I know what I want to do I just don't know how to do it and my mom tells me I need to figure out what I want I'm like I KNOW WHAT I FUCKING WANT I DON'T KNOW HOW TO DO IT! and that's what I tell her on a daily basis like she'll magically know what I need to do next, but know one in my family can help me with the career choice because I'm the fucking black sheep and have to go against the grain... I just don't know any more.

miss you, hope things are well with you
-Amanda

Finding time

So I've been in Auburn for almost three weeks now and I am finally finding time to start this f-ing blog... I meant to be all cutesy and document the trip here, the many way stations that looked exactly the same, the number of times we stopped for gas, the number of times that Craig passed gas ( I'm really kidding there) and the number of times Kari talked about Kurk (I'm really not kidding there) and the dulldrums of Indiana and Ohio, but unfortuanly I did not accomplish this. But not that I have figured out that I really don't have a set schedual, I am making time to start. So here it is...... Okay so although so much has happened, so much starts to blur together.
The first week or so there were some fun times in the costume shop, shinny red g-strings jumped out at me in the crack room and there was come crazy sleep drunkedness the closer we got to tech week...
And then there was the "un"dress rehearsal... oh yeah, did I mention that our first show and the Merry-Go-Round Playhouse is The Full Monty. Well it is, and I was super embaressed untill my mom said to me, why are you so freaked out, you're not out there everynight ass naked... my momma is so wise I can't stand it.
Any who, its been a blast and now I am off to make mac and cheese with turkey hot dogs...