From Boise to Washington, D.C.

Some people had asked me to write the "story" of our journey east. This is that story. This is also a bit of a novel, so settle in with some coffee or other tasty beverage:

Our journey out east began April 1. The movers came to our house and started packing things. Shawn took off the days the movers would be there so that one of us would be in the house, though I really don't think either of us really “supervised” the movers. We ensured that the things we wanted to keep with us were in one room that we “closed off” to the movers. The movers told us they would not pack liquids, creams, flammables, etc. Okay, got it. Except this: they packed my toothpaste. And my toothbrush. And my face lotion/eye cream. I just assumed the mover guy would leave this (and I wasn't thinking, truthfully). Thankfully I had an extra toothbrush and some sample toothpaste in my gym bag. If you ever move any distance - use movers. Seriously. So worth it to not have to box my own stuff. I say that now, but I haven't seen my stuff yet to know if any of it is broken/scratched...

After they had everything packed on Tuesday, our girls decided that trying to play catch with our wrought iron wine rack was a good idea. That is when Shawn decided we'd stay in a hotel on Wednesday night until we left Boise. So we stayed at a hotel for a few days starting April 3^rd. And that's where we've basically been since then. It is now 20 days later and we still have another 10 days left. Oy!

Let's fast forward to leaving Boise day. I really don't want to think about telling our friends goodbye. Or the super amazing, albeit sad, going away the school gave Saoirse. We woke up nice and early on Saturday and headed out. The trip to my mom's in Wyoming was probably the easiest part of our trip. The wind was blowing, but as a tail wind so it totally helped out gas mileage pulling a 5'x8' Uhaul trailer and with a Thule car top carrier. We got to Wyoming and celebrated my nephew's birthday.

We woke up the next morning to super cold temps. Blowing like crazy wind. Awful. Saoirse told us she had to go potty...after we left Rawlins city limits. Our next option was the town of Sinclair. Never been? Oh let me tell you what. It is a dream...or a nightmare. Nothing but this little gas station/truck stop diner. Not a smoker? Well, then be sure to walk through the diner where they are smoking a lot just to remind yourself why you never picked up the habit. (Sorry to my friends who may be reading this and are smokers...most of you know my opinion on smoking.) It was gross. The bathroom was one of few on our journey (and we stopped in a lot of bathrooms between Idaho and Washington, D.C.) that I screamed at my kids to “NOT TOUCH ANYTHING!!!!!!” It was seriously disgusting! We washed hands and then wiped them down with disinfectant wipes in the car despite the 50 mph winds blowing the car doors shut on us.

We ended that day's trip in Boulder, CO. We were able to catch up with a good friend from high school, Dani and her boyfriend Guy. And then were able to have dinner and enjoy catching up with some friends of ours whom we met in Boise. He is a football coach and I hired his wife for her first out of college job. Our kiddos are about the same age, in fact, my girls and her girls are just 4 months and 6 months, respectfully, apart in age. It was great to catch up with them and hear about their new adventure with Univ. of Colorado football.

While there for dinner, Shawn received a call from a Boulder number. He thought it was bizarre since the only people in Boulder that he knows were in the same room as him. Turns out, it was the Boulder Police Department. I'll back up a minute. While meeting up with Dani and Guy, Shawn realized his wallet was gone. He assumed he left it in our hotel when he took a quick shower. He wasn't overly concerned about it. Turns out, it fell out at the park while we were chatting with Dani and Guy and some good samaritan turned it in to the Police! Thank goodness, seriously. Oh and nothing was missing! Whew!

The next morning, we wake up and do the adventure again: drive. This time, we drove from Boulder to Salina, KS. If you've never driven this stretch of road, let me just say, for those who will get the Wyoming reference: if you think Rock Springs to Rawlins/Laramie is bad...this is worse. There is literally almost nothing from Denver to Salina. A few towns here and there but really nothing major. What is there is a ton of farm land. Flat nothingness. Except the towns of Goodland and Hays. Oh and lots of rural routes with ramps off the interstate. This was good because Saoirse had to pee every hour. And since there's nothing out there, these ramps became good places for us to stop off the side of the road, put her travel potty seat down, and for her to go pee. Every hour. Almost like clockwork. We stopped in Goodland, KS for lunch at McDonald's (admittedly, we ate a LOT of McDonald's on this trip). We sat behind some storm chasers. Oh joy! Not how I enjoyed spending our break from the car – worried about a tornado. The wind was still blowing like crazy, this time as a crosswind making it hard to stay on the road, so I wasn't shocked that there were tornado/storm warnings in the area. I was also a proponent of leaving ASAP to avoid said storm.

We also stopped in Hays. This was the second grossest bathroom and also a bathroom where I screamed at the girls to please not touch anything and used sani-wipes on their hands. It is also where Saoirse begged me to let her pee on the “sidewalk” instead of in the bathroom. Had I known the gross-factor that awaited us in the bathroom, I may have allowed it. (Maybe...) She just kept saying “Mom, I just want to pee on the sidewalk.”

When we stopped for the night in Salina, there were severe thunderstorm watches in the area. I can handle those, mostly. Sometimes they quickly turn into tornado watches/warnings but I wasn't too worried. I mostly didn't want my car getting banged up by hail if it started to fall. We ordered in Chili's for dinner. Can I just tell you that eating without a table with two children is pretty awful? It is. It is just no fun at all. But we adapted and “made” a table for them with a cooler and Rubbermaid tub.

The next day took us to Moore, OK. More rain in the morning. But at least a short drive for us. Oh and, still windy, and a cross wind again. Lovely. We stopped for lunch at, you guessed it, McDonald's in Perry, OK where I used to work as a juvenile probation officer. I was glad I didn't run into any of my kiddos there. We made it to Moore and got to enjoy some sunshine and park time with Shyla and her little guy Pierce. There were reports of freezing rain the next day but with the temps in the 70s, Shyla, Shawn, and I kinda laughed it off. Well, the joke was on us. The temps dropped 20-30 degrees in a matter of an hour, maybe. The wind (oh that wind!!!) picked up even harder. Severe thunderstorm warnings, again. We literally could not escape this weather. But on a bright note, we got to spend a fun evening with Shyla, Clay, and Pierce having dinner and then catching up. I don't think the four of us had been in a room together since before Shawn and I moved to Idaho 8 years ago!

And rain it did. It was terrible. In fact, it rained hard until we got into Arkansas the next day. Our final destination that night was Memphis. Thank goodness for GPS. Especially when the GPS routes you into the ghetto of Memphis but then can quickly reroute you out. Not gonna lie, we stuck out in that part of Memphis. Not just our skin color either. Our car wasn't brightly painted or equipped with a hydraulic system. When we pulled into the area around our hotel, I didn't feel much safer. There were two creepy guys lurking about outside. One of whom asked Shawn for money at our hotel. Something about his hands (which did have open wounds on them) and needing the hospital.

The good thing about knowing you're going on a long road trip is the idea that you can reserve your hotel ahead of time. No more driving around looking for “vacancy” lights on hotels (in fact, do they even have those anymore most places?). And the nice thing about the internet is that you can do this weeks in advance and look for a deal while you're at it. Somehow, our hotel “overbooked” our Suite, you know, the one we sort of needed with two kids and a dog, so we ended up with a normal room. Luckily, the room ended up being fairly big and we made the most of it. Except, it didn't have a desk so we had a picnic on the floor eating pizza. This tops as one of the messiest eating experiences of the trip, minus the chocolate chip Clif Kids bar Fianna ate in the car and got ALL over herself. Dinner was delivery pizza and we had no plates. So we ate out of the box. All of us. Yeay!

Let me tell you something about our room in Memphis. They had roman shades, which is sort of bizarre for a hotel since most have just plain curtains. The surprise, though, was that they had a shade with a beach scene on it from like Hawaii or something but in 70s type colors. It lowered right next to the window and allowed zero light in. I don't think that was its purpose, though. Since we were on the ground floor, I suspect it was to give you privacy from the scary people outside... This did not increase my confidence or comfort level with this place.

This hotel was, for many reasons, the worst we stayed in. After they overbooked our room, they at least comped the room for us, which was good. The really bad thing about this is that the fire alarm started going off about the time we planned to start working the kids toward bed. Admittedly, I will add, that we didn't have much hope for a schedule on this trip. But we did intend to plan around the time change a little and get the kids in bed about the same time Boise time and worry about adjusting later. Well, that was a good plan on our part since the fire alarms in our rooms did not go back off for TWO HOURS! Yes, folks, two hours to turn off the fire alarm. We were finally blessed with the Memphis Fire Department's presence. I'm glad there was no real fire since ¾ of them could not have helped us without probably falling down from cardiac arrest. I seriously am not sure I have ever seen such obese firefighters before. And the girl at the front desk had no idea what she was doing.

Luckily, the hotel had an enclosed courtyard, and though it was a bit muggy, it was warm enough for the girls to go out and run around instead of running around the lobby getting in people's way. So we went outside. Out there, we spoke to a lady who is from Memphis who said if we were thinking of leaving the hotel (many people made that call) that it was in our best interest not to go more than a block away since it was no longer safe. Lovely. That's comforting. We stayed outside until the thunderstorms (same system) moved in and brought with it the rain.

Finally, after almost two hours of sounding, the alarm company showed up to turn off the alarm, something that should be able to be done remotely but whatever. We got back to our rooms at 10:15 and were able to get the kids in bed by about 11.

The next morning was a short drive into Hartselle, AL to visit Shawn's granny. Again, in the morning, there was rain. Lots of rain. Flooding, in some areas, rain. But we finally drove out of the rain and made it to his granny's. Until we had been there less than an hour. At that point, our iPhones went off, for the second time this trip, with a tornado warning (the first time was near Goodland, KS and was a blizzard warning) and told us to take cover. About 5 minutes later, the TV crew came on telling us the same. We went to the bathroom and put the girls in the bath tub with their iPad mini's and me and Shawn's granny on the floor. The mattress was stripped and pulled in part way just in case. Luckily, this was a precaution. It stayed a funnel cloud and passed west of where we were by a bit. But still! Yuck! Luckily, this was the last we sort of saw with the storm system.

We stayed a couple days in Alabama. We got to visit the Huntsville Rocket Center. Saoirse enjoyed herself immensely. Fianna slept most of the time in the kid backpack. We also got to see extended family, which was really nice.

The next day, our destination was the Roanoke, VA area. This was a completely uneventful trip until we got to our hotel. Shawn walked in with Jager and the front desk receptionist told us they did not allow pets. This was weird since Shawn acknowledged we'd have a pet when he made the reservation. The really goofy thing is, we ended up staying at the exact same hotel but a few miles away and they allowed pets. Weird. (It was a Quality Inn, I think.)

The next day was the completion of our journey at Joint Base Anacostia-Bolling (JBAB) in D.C. The drive in was actually quite pretty from Roanoke to D.C. We saw an area where people do a lot of skiing/hiking, which was nice to see so relatively close to the city.

The girls did amazingly well. I'm sure it helps that we had their iPad minis running full-steam the entire trip out (while were in the car...and some while in the hotel rooms). We swore we'd never be those parents but nine days in a car with kids called for desperate measures! We have mostly weaned them off them and keep them distracted with blocks or a few of the other toys we opted to bring in the car with us.

It is nice to finally be (sort of) settled. Even though we're still in, basically, a hotel (more on this place another time) we can settle in and make homemade meals. We were thinking ahead enough to bring a few pots/pans to cook with and also brought our George Foreman grill and crockpot. We went to the zoo one day (more on this another time, too) and visited Shawn's sister in Richmond as well as met our new neighbors (also a story for another time). We've also tried out a few different gyms around here (well, I have) and visited to preschools. We have been busy..

Family Reunion 2012

After my maternal grandmother passed away in 2007, we have gotten together as a family for a family reunion. Most of my mom's siblings and their families come (there are a couple sour grapes who choose not to come and we enjoy ourselves anway...). In 2008 and 2010, it was held in Idaho since it is centrally located. I've missed it twice - once since I was pregnant with Saoirse...like really pregnant. And the other time, was last year when Fianna was just 4 weeks old.

This year, the reunion was at Deception Pass State Park in northern Washington on Whidbey Island. With a few exceptions (like lots of F-18 jet noise), it was a great time.

Let's start from the beginning. We decided (rather, my hubby decided) to start potty training the weekend before we were leaving. I was pretty sure this would be a disaster but it ended up being okay. Saoirse had an accident free day on the first day while traveling. We just stopped every couple hours and made her go potty when we did. She did GREAT overall, having one other accident free day!! We stopped the first night in Ellensburg, WA so we could get a fresh start the next day and also so we could visit my grandmother's grave and put flowers on it.

The next day, we drove to the State Park but first stopped in Seattle to visit the aquarium on the water front. I really wanted to have lunch on the water front. I have been (and still am thankyouverymuch) dreaming of some clam chowder. I LOVE clam chowder when I can get it in the Pacific Northwest (and while they often refer to Boise as being in the Pacific Northwest, it's not quite "northwest" enough for me...). Anyway, we get to the water front and there's a power outage for 3-4 piers and no one was serving anyone other than who was in the restaurants. Ugh! Hungry, tired kids. Hungry, tired adults. What's a person to do? Buy popcorn for your child and hope for the best. Actually, luckily, there was a sandwich shop that was serving people and taking money the old fashioned way: writing down orders on paper with a pen, taking down credit card information, and then *gasp* entering in the information later. (What?! I know.) Anyway...the sandwich sufficed and I got a nice pic of me and Fianna on the Pier right next to the aquarium.

The girls were only moderately entertained by the aquarium. There was this octopus thing that was there:

It scared Saoirse. A whole lot. Like screamed at the top of her lungs when Shawn acted like it was eating him. I laughed hysterically, after I assured her that her daddy was, in fact, not being eaten by an octopus. Poor girl.

We also "lost" Saoirse in the gift shop at the end. I turned for a second and Shawn turned for a second and we looked down and saw she was gone. Talk about heart stopping. Shawn started running to the entrance with Fianna on his back to tell them to lock down the aquarium and I started screaming for her. Finally, I hear a little voice saying "Hi Nemo. I'm Saoirse." UGH! Scooped her up. My nephew ran after Shawn to tell him we found her. She was "missing" for literally less than a minute but scary. Needless to say, despite her best efforts at asking us to buy her the Nemo doll she was playing with, I refused to buy it for her. And she was carried/held hands with us until we got into the car.

After getting in the car, we drove further north to the State Park and got camp set up.

Here's what I like about camp grounds: showers, flushing toilets, and apparently at this one, electrical and running water at our camp site. What I don't like: roads. Plain and simple. We had to watch the girls like hawks to ensure they weren't walking in to the main road leading into the campground or the road running through the camp ground. To say this wasn't a relaxing trip would be an understatement. :)

I did manage to get a nice run in, which was nice. My shins were SORE the rest of the trip because of the hills I ran up/down. Wow.

The jet noise was, at times, annoying. And we actually got down to the installation (NAS Whidbey Island) to shop the commissary for food for our night/morning to cook. I learned my military ID expired last month. Luckily, I was allowed on base anyway.

My girls played on the beach for the first time ever. Saoirse had technically seen the Puget Sound when we went up for Shawn's marathon November 2009 but she really hadn't seen the ocean at all. She got to play on the beach in sand and put her feet in. She loved it!

Fianna practices her balance on the sand while Saoirse digs

Saoirse digs the sand.

Marlea, Saoirse, Georgia, with Shawn observing

It was also colder than anticipated. I packed shorts for the day and then pants for mornings/night. It was too cold for the shorts most of the time but capri's were okay. I also had to buy warmer clothes for sleeping for Saoirse and me. I got some sweat pants and Saoirse a hoodie and new PJs. I was wishing for my mummy sleeping bag big time.

The fog was crazy! Every morning there was loads of fog over the water until around 1:30 or so in the afternoon. We hiked up a small hill to get this pic:

My nephew Trey

My family with a beautiful backdrop

More of the backdrop

Overall, it was a fun trip. I'm definitely glad to be home where I know my girls can't run into roads so easily and I can wash hands with warm water and soap that isn't watered down to extend the life of the soap bottle (which, luckily, some patron of the campground placed soap in the women's bathroom).

Oh and one final thing. To keep Fianna entertained on the trip home (which we made in 1 day - it took 13+ hours), Shawn would give his iPad or iPhone to her. He has Rebecca Black's "Friday" on his iPad (I honestly have NO clue why...probably a joke or to annoy me or both) and played it for her. Fianna decided to "drum" and then dance. Here's a video:

The course of my life was forever changed...

When 9/11 happened, things were a blur for me, as I know it was for so many others. I remember waking up to what I expected to be a normal morning. I don't remember if I had gotten ready first or if I was in the process of getting ready when my roommate turned on the TV (or perhaps I was the one who turned on the TV). What we watched was The Today Show. I remember the chaos of the first tower burning. I think at this point, we assumed some pilot lost consciousness or something and this was all a really horrific accident. Then we saw the second plane hit the second tower. This was the point where we realized this was not accidental. This was purposeful.

I remember going to class that day dazed. If I remember my class schedule well enough, my first professor believed that what he had to say was far more important than what was going on in the news. No, this wasn't just my interpretation; I'm certain he said something to the effect of "Well, life must go on." I'm also certain that none of us really paid attention that morning in Experimental Psych. My afternoon course was taught by a much more sensitive professor who told us that he was going to give us a quick 5-10 minute review and then he wanted us to go and find out what was going on in our world. He was a Pastor and I'm pretty sure that he would have lead us in prayer if he could have (at a State school, I'm not sure he could have...).

I went to my friend's on-campus apartment after that class. We watched some news and talked to our families. Her father warned that gas prices may spike significantly so we went and fueled up our cars at the gas station closest to campus. So was everyone else.

I remember talking to my mom that night. My brother was in boot camp for the USAF. He was on lock-down but I think had had the opportunity to get word out that he was okay. She worried that he would be sent off to war immediately. I was, too, but kept telling her they wouldn't since he wasn't trained quite yet. She was skeptical. I didn't want to be skeptical.

Beyond this, it seems silly to say that my life was directly impacted. Sure, we all worried about what the next attack might be. Would it be in Oklahoma? Would it be where our loved ones were? But, the truth of it was I was in a small town in Oklahoma, so it was unlikely we'd be the direct target. I wasn't in NYC or D.C.

Fast-forward a year and a half to January 2003. I go to Oklahoma City to have a night out with my best friend (Hey Shyla!!) and end up meeting a bunch of military guys since she was dating a USAF officer at the time. Here's the part where my life changes. I met a great guy and ended up talking with him 'til 4 in the morning. He asked for my number and said he'd call mid-week to set up another date (after begging me to just crash out at his place with a few others who had crashed out at his place...Uh...no! :)) To my surprise, he actually called.

This guy? Yeah, he's now my husband. And for the first three years of our marriage, he was deployed to Iraq three times. In our six years of marriage, he's been deployed four times (in the first five years). And he has another deployment upcoming sooner than I want to think about.

9/11 set into motion events that allowed this to happen. He was divorced from his first wife several months after 9/11 and though their marriage was likely headed this way anyway, I think that this was the so-called "straw that broke the camel's back". Also, I think we both assumed that once we started dating just a month or so before he was to deploy for the "kick off" of Iraqi Freedom, we weren't in this for the long-haul; we both kinda figured we'd email back and forth but neither wanted a serious relationship (his divorce, my really bad break-up).

I have learned a lot about myself and this country in the years since 9/11. I've learned this country is much stronger when we work together. I've read several stories over the past several days about how united we all were after 9/11 and I remember that. I remember how awesome it felt to live in this country right after 9/11 because we all sort of had the "stand together" attitude. I've learned that I'm a much stronger person than I ever credited myself with before. My strength continues to be tested with every TDY and deployement, especially with the upcoming deployment, my first with children. My story is not all that unique. There are hundreds of thousands of other people who have similar stories, those who send their loved one off to war to fight the terrorists and work to stabilize an incredibly unstable region.

I'm anxious to visit the 9/11 Memorial once it's completely finished in 2015. I want to take my girls there, though they'll be young. 9/11 changed the course of mine and Shawn's lives forever, whether we had found each other or not, it still would have changed both our lives. And 9/11 will impact my daughter's lives, too, through, among other things, their father being gone for deployments and TDYs in preparation for deployments.

I will never forget the ways in which 9/11 has impacted my life, not just that September morning but in all the mornings since.

I love my girls.

When I found out I was having another daughter, I was a little worried about whether or not they'd get along. This fear is largely fueled by the fact that my sister and I aren't close. Yet, I really believe that my girls will be. Time will tell, obviously, but for now, it's nice to imagine all the ways they'll be close.

Saoirse has recently taken quite the interest in Fianna. It's not to say that she hasn't been excited about having a baby in the house - she's really been fairly ambivalent. Lately that has changed, though. There have been a few mornings where she asks about her when I first go in to get her - Fianna is usually still sleeping. There are other mornings where she wants to go in and wake up "baby sister Feenana". She has asked to hold her more often lately, which is fairly new. Today was the cutest, though.

We went in to get Fianna and Saoirse asked to see her. She jumped on my bed and watched closely as I changed her diaper (well, she helped by opening up the velcro on the diaper). Then she said "Okay, I take baby sister now." And then leaned over to kiss her. It was the sweetest kiss. Then she said "I love you!" Sooooo adorable! Then she asked to take her again. So I set them up in the glider in our room and let her hold Fianna. Saoirse told me she was going to take "baby sister Feenana" to the doctor. So cute! I love seeing how she interacts with Fianna.

It is difficult for Saoirse sometimes because her motor skills are well...still fairly gross. She tries so hard to be careful but isn't always. She also hasn't fully grasped certain concepts like that she cannot place her hand on Fianna's stomach to push herself up to stand without Fianna crying. She'll learn. Until then, we watch them super closely.

Fianna has started sleeping better (YEAY!!) and smiling. She first smiled on Shawn's birthday...too bad he was in the mountains for work and missed it! She has a very sweet smile! And it's a nice change from her super serious demeanor that she typically has. (I always ask her "Why so serious?" and feel a little like Heath Ledger's Joker from Batman...yikes...)

Saoirse's vocabulary and abilities just continues to amaze me. We looked at a list of things she should be doing by age 2, age 3, and age 4. She's mastered all of the age 3 things and one of the age 4 things. (Well, there are more skills than just the 3-4 items in each age category on the checklist we have but still...impressive!) When she was holding Fianna and saying she was taking her to the doctor, I told her that they were both going to the doctor in about two weeks. She said "My birthday is in August." And I told her yes, it is and told her the day it is. Then she said "I get my healthy birthday on." I literally laughed out loud - where does she come up with this stuff? Truthfully, I don't think she realized why what she said was so funny!

My favorite thing is when I get cuddle time with both girls. I'll usually say "I have both my girls" and kiss them each on the head. Now, whenever I am holding both girls, even if it's in frustration going up the stairs as Saoirse is procrastinating going upstairs for a bath or bedtime, Saoirse will say "Both my girls mama, both my girls." You can't be irritated when she sounds so cute!

Lastly, I'm learning to find balance more. Fianna is able and willing to be put down more so that she can play/do tummy time and I can interact with both girls a bit at a time. I'm running as part of a running group so that forces me to get exercise in four times per week. I am sometimes able to work out more than that if Shawn's work schedule allows (our gym daycare won't take Fianna until she's 3 months old). I'll need to continue to adjust and work at reestablishing balance. But for now, I feel good about the balance we've achieved in our home with our two sweet girls!

Adventures in parenthood

Shawn has been gone the past eight days for work. He was living it up in the Sawtooth Mountains with his squadron "working". I'm sure they worked, but I think they probably had a good bit of fun. And...he got to sleep through the night. Lucky.

I, on the other hand, learned how to wrangle two kids on my own in a trial-by-fire sort of fashion. I'd been doing it all day with them since Shawn went back to work but all day/night was a new thing since he had not yet been gone overnight since Fianna was born. It was mostly good but there were definitely times of O.M.Gosh moments. There were f-bomb moments. There were moments of crying (sobbing) on all three of our parts (though, not generally at the same time).

The most memorable of them started Wednesday night. I had to give both girls a bath and asked Saoirse to "help" me give Fianna her bath, then I'd put her in the tub. Instead, Saoirse took off her clothes and diapers. Since I can't leave her unattended in the tub, I had to grab the changing pad, Fianna's diaper and clothes, and bring it into the bathroom so that after her bath, I could watch Saoirse while I got Fianna ready for bed. Fianna screamed the whole time while Saoirse played. That is, until Saoirse had to go potty. The tell-tale signs were there - grunting, bracing self against the side of the tub...you know... So, Fianna went to the floor on the changing pad, one arm in the sleeve of her night gown, one arm out, screaming bloody murder. You know, the kind of scream where she stops breathing a little and her face turns red? Yeah, that one. I pulled Saoirse out of the tub and put her on the potty because I was NOT cleaning *that* out of the tub. She started screaming (she hates the potty right now...). So, I had both girls screaming. Mommy already had a small headache that was growing. Saoirse finally did her business with the promise of Dora stickers (which she wanted on her hands before her bath ended and didn't understand that they wouldn't stick if her hands were wet...yet another crying fit...). The rest of the evening went okay until Fianna's bedtime. She wouldn't sleep. Not longer than 1 hour at a time. And then decided that 1:00 a.m. was a good time to be awake. Ugh! I got 3 hours of sleep and not the consecutive kind where I would've hit REM sleep.

Thursday started very early so I could get both girls ready and go to the doctor's office to have Fianna looked at for acid reflux. I had errands to run and then had my 6-week check up that afternoon. No nap. Then I had to go across town to actually pick up Fianna's med since our pharmacy didn't have the med needed for reflux and wouldn't for a day or two. No thanks, I want to start it now! Still, no nap. Then I had Infant/Child CPR (anyone with small children should take it - it's worth it!). Late night for us. Again, bath time for both girls and then bed. Again, Fianna didn't sleep well. She didn't go down until 1:30 a.m. About midnight was my breaking point. Remember I mentioned tears? This is where Fianna and I cried together. And where I cried to my mom who I called at midnight to sob with.

Friday involved Saoirse going to daycare and me sleeping all day when Fianna slept. Literally, most of the afternoon I slept. It felt amazing.

Oh...did I mention that I opted to stop drinking coffee (caffeinated anyway) to help with Fianna's reflux? Yeah...BAD idea if you don't want to be a cranky pants parent who has a tension headache. Just sayin'.

The rest of the weekend went okay. Saturday was a little rough (still detoxing from caffeine) but overall was okay. Oh and I think Saoirse is bothered by her 2-year molars (they're not popping through but think they must be giving her a tough time).

Suffice to say...it was an interesting first few days. Sunday through today have been fine. I even had time to bake and decorate and ice cream cake for Shawn's birthday! Whoo hoo!

This past week has shown me I'm much stronger than I give myself credit for. It also helped to show me my weaknesses...as all parents do have weaknesses. Thank goodness it's almost over, though. I can't wait to have 5 minutes to myself! :)

Finding balance...

I am learning that finding balance with two babies is difficult. It is not like this is news to me necessarily, though. That said, I am still finding some difficulty with certain parts of this parenting two thing.

My biggest challenge is when both girls need me, which has been an even more significant challenge the past couple days while both girls have not felt well.. Saoirse has been super jealous lately, mostly with her daddy. During the day, my job is to care for both girls and that often means Saoirse has to wait a little to have her "need" (really, her wants) met. When daddy comes home, I think she sees this as her opportunity to have someone's undivided attention. We are trying ensure that each of us has uninterrupted time with each of the girls when Shawn gets home so that both girls get some 1:1 parent time with each parent. Saoirse's new thing when Shawn holds Fianna or even helps out is "It's mommy's turn!" She did start yesterday with "It's daddy's turn, mommy!" while Shawn was at work and I had to hold Fianna.

When changing Saoirse's diaper, I need to put Fianna across the hall in her crib because Saoirse does not want to "share" her bed with baby sister, not even for the length of a diaper change. ("It's my big girl bed baby sister!" she will cry if I put Fianna on her bed.) This works pretty well but sometimes results in Fianna screaming that she needs me, too. I obviously cannot be in both places at once. The other challenge is at bedtime when Fianna needs fed and is cranky but Saoirse asks me to sing her a lullaby like she has the last few nights. Do I tell her "no" because Fianna is screaming? Or do I delay Fianna's meal (which feels icky to me since I'm a feed on demand and at the first signs of hunger kinda mama)? I usually delay feeding for a little bit while daddy takes Fianna so I can hum a few times through Brahm's Lullaby.

The other aspect of finding balance with two babies has nothing to do with the babies at all but in finding balance with my husband. I remember after we had Saoirse, it seemed like forever before we really had any quality couple time each day. And now that we have two children who are on different schedules for now, it seems we are always on the go and rarely have time with each other at all. It does not help that Shawn has had to go back to work much earlier than he thought (after just a few days) because of a two-week work exercise he has had to plan. I know that once Fianna is on more of a schedule and on the same-ish schedule as Saoirse, it will be easier to have quality time together to talk with a glass of wine or watch a movie. Maybe we will even get some time for a little family getaway where we can all just spend time with each other. (Seattle for the Half-Marathon? Yellowstone? McCall?)

The last part of finding balance is with my exercise. I have my six-week check-up this week and expect my doctor will release me to get back into the swing of things with running. I intend to join a running group of moms so I can run and train for races but at a slow pace. We bought a double stroller so I can take both girls with me when Shawn's gone. This will help me to establish balance in this area, too. I am very ready to get back into an exercise routine that does not involve just walking. Not that there is anything at all wrong with walking but it would be nice to also be able to run from time to time.

I am looking forward to growing through all these challenges with both my girls and my husband.

Toddler years...

Wow, the toddler years are already throwing us for a loop and they've really just begun. Our daycare provider told us months ago that Saoirse was "advanced", which was sort of her nice way of saying that Saoirse had begun her transition into the toddler years a little early. She has been testing limits for a while but it is getting more pronounced lately.

Saoirse, as I have mentioned before, is very verbal. This has made this toddler transition even more fun, I mean this both seriously and facetiously. The serious side is that when she is whining or having a meltdown, I am able to say to her "I need for you to use your words." And she can generally tell us what is wrong or what she needs. She often times is able to do this before a meltdown. In this sense, we are very lucky. However, how it has made it interesting is that she has been able to use more advanced language skills than I was totally prepped for. For instance, she enjoys coloring and our rule is that she has to keep the crayons at her little table and color only on paper (I know, we're so irrational). So, I look at her and tell her "Saoirse, remember the rule is to keep your crayons on the red table." And she goes "Um, maaaaaybe." Excuse me?! And today during lunch, she asked to play and I told her she could play after lunch. Her reply was "It's not naptime yet, mama." Except, it's an hour past your naptime my dear! So far, pretty minimal stuff but considering she's not quite two, it's just earlier than expected.

Her new fave phrase is "I oose it." which is what they are teaching the children at daycare so they can problem solve when someone is trying to steal their toy. The daycare providers also say to children "_________ is still using that." That's great, I love it. Yet, at home, it's interesting. When I am getting ready to feed Fianna and pull out the Boppy, Saoirse looks at me and says "I oose it, mama! I oose it! My turn!" And she will pull on it as she says this. Yesterday it lead to tears. So I have a toddler having a meltdown and an infant screaming because she is getting more hungry by the minute and darn it mom had to change her diaper first! Ugh! Best fun ever! :)

Her other new thing is to take her clothing off and sometimes attempt to put it back on. She got really good with her PJ bottoms the other day. Her shirt...well...not yet. She also learned the other day to just pull down her diaper and run around the living room naked. Ah...to be two and free, I guess. So, today during nap, she decides she's had enough with a diaper and pulled the tabs and took it off. Great. So, I can't even make it tight enough because she will just pull the tabs.

I don't think she's quite ready for potty training after reading several of the lists of "milestones" kids typically have met by the time you potty train. And yet, I need to know that her diaper is secure during naptime so I am not having to constantly check on her with the monitor to ensure she's not taking it off. I mean, today is not problematic because Fianna is also sleeping (which is actually what I want to be doing, so I guess it is a little problematic) but if Fianna were awake and I couldn't get up there right away and God forbid there were poop in her diaper...ugh!! I know I'm not the first parent who has had to deal with this or smeared poop (we've already had one of those days) but I'm trying to not have to do this often.

For all of these challenges, Saoirse has been awesome with Fianna. She loves her and I caught her playing the "bee game" with Fianna - where she makes buzzing noises and moves her hand around and eventually touches Fianna (it's supposed to help with eye coordination for an infant). It was so cute! And Saoirse continues to be our super sweet, empathic little girl who always asks "Okay mama?" if I utter anything that sounds like I'm in pain, i.e. "Ouch!" when I stub my toe or something.

Fianna continues to do well. Her sleep schedule is still crummy at night but...well, she's still only three weeks and a few days old. She likes sleeping on her side...so I may be breaking the rules by allowing her to do so but she'll actually sleep on her side so I'm okay with that. We're becoming a better team where breastfeeding is concerned. And the girl loves to eat. Loves it! It should be interesting once we introduce solids.