Merry Merry Christmas!!!

Merry Merry Christmas to all my dear friends!! It's a season filled with lotsa Joy, Fun, Laughter & also Love...

Was still mentioning I can't really remember what I did last Christmas, no resources to recap my memory as well. However, I'm very very sure I'll definitely be able to remember my Christmas Eve, Christmas as well as Boxing Day for 2009 clearly.

I can't post up a picture from my phone while blogging, so I shall post it up again when I have the time. This blog is collating dust/web & too wordy.

Alright I hope everyone have the most enjoyable Christmas ever!! =)

Love,
Amanda Chua

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Knock Me Out & Change My Brain...

Sometimes I really wish my brain can be changed. This brain of mine been working really too hard, it keeps working even when I'm sleeping.

I've been thinking alot again these few days (or rather been approximately 2 weeks ?) I dislike myself for thinking too much, but it aint something bad, it's about my future though. Ofcourse recently lotsa activities that require brain storming sessions.

Sometimes I did tell myself, can I be like some of my role model friends. They seems to be trouble-free... maybe it's time for me to try and believe.

Gonna be a really busy & $$ spending December... I have decided to put everything I wanna buy on hold, I just wanna save as much $$ as I can. But ofcourse if the urge of spurging arises, I will just spend... I'm so confused on the things I wanna get, either it's too expensive, or it's not practical/not a need to... therefore I shall just take my time to think thru it... at most I will just set it for my 2010 resolutions... talking about it, it's time to write down list of my 2010 resolutions soon.... =)

Thinker, Think, Thinking,
Amanda Chua

Been awhile...

Since I took Mrt, I didn't know there's so much change, somehow like taiwan's mrt style. Probably it's due to e danger in riding, I've been taking public transport more than usual. But I'll still cont. to ride for the time being.

Maybe I'll take now to update a little abt my Bangkok trip. It's a pretty good one, staying at a better hotel (Arnoma). Very near to central area, hunting lotsa weird places for good & authentic thai food. Lotsa shopping but seriously 4 days 3 nights ain't enough for us. But doesn't matter, might be going every year. I pretty enjoy my trip.

Been rather busy this week, lotsa stuff like department's bbq, wedding & birthday celebrations. Will upload photos when I'm free. Don't hv e pics in my phone though.

There's lotsa nice movies I wanna watch, Mulan I've watched it & it's pretty good, everyone shld catch it & stay after e movie for a nice "Mu Lan Qing" theme song for Mulan movie by Stefanie Sun Yanzi. Other than tat shall update on all the shows I wanna watch & date me for that. Hahha..

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How My Heart Feel...

Blogging in e bus right now... Penny of my thoughts still. I hate it when I'm like that, I tried not to think, but easier said than done.

Event a success yesterday night I'll say, though in e beginning it's kinda Chaotic. But something jus strike my mind when the event ended. Feeling sad or happy? Well a rather mixed feeling I'll say. Shan't mention it here though...

Yesterday was a hell scary night on my way back. I'll never forget that very moment. The speed I'm travelling & a stupid Van jus cut into my lane when I'm approaching at a rather fast speed. My immediately reaction was to jam brake, but due to e speed, my bike skidded. However, I didn't fall, neither did I hit e Van. Thanks to 1 of e driver & a rider whom helped me to horn as long & loud. I even tried to swerve my bike away from tat Van. Just right after tat, I felt seriously scared, lotsa things started flashing in my mind. I cried while riding back...

I prayed & thank god tat I'm ok, otherwise, seriously I don't know what will happen to me with that speed.

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Testing Test Blogging Via Phone

I'm feeling anxious and excited about tonight. Great exposure, however, can only update about it when I'm back home from the event.

Anyways, I've been sneezing since yesterday night, a little flu-like symptom.. I hope it's jus false alarm, can't afford to fall sick! I needa enjoy.

Will update again about tonight... Heheh

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APPEC & APEC

2 down for APPEC, though it's my 1st time, but am happy then everything's good. Got us pretty busy preparing and make sure everything's good, but now it's over, we can breathe a little again. Me managed to go for supper & 2 movies within a week, great improvement =)

However, now comes APEC, sure gonna be real busy again. Especially getting involved in a major event, no joke... But it's ok, just gotta endure for a little while more and hope things gonna be good for me again. Lesser stress, happier Amanda =P

Gonna thank these 2 diff. people who keep asking me out, knowing that i've been pretty stress out ever since... hmmmm.... I have no idea. So lotsa movies, supper and just hanging out means alot to me. Heheee, enjoyable week i'll say...

1) Sense of satisfaction at work
2) Knocking off work early
3) Watching a couple of movies (Jennifer's Body, AstroBoy & My girlfriend is an agent)
4) Chill out
5) Slacking at home on a Sun, influenced by friends & started playing Cafe World.

Wanna upload some pics, but am too lazy to transfer it in. Take care everybardy & enjoy ur week...

Gearing Up for APEC,
Amanda Chua

Smiling Away... =)

Ha !! It's really nice, I love that feeling !! It's been a long long time, although conversation seems short and normal, but it makes my heart skips like Skippy !! Making me smile throughout the whole short conversation. Contented, seriously... =) Thankiew !!

Just feeling happy, so just wanna blog about it, otherwise it's always a emo entry which not many people like.

Cloud Nine Mood,
Amanda Chua =)

Contradicting...

Oh gosh, i've sucha contradicting thinking, I cant believe it !!! Gosh~~~

1stly, whenever I'm too busy with work, I just feel like some idiot working so hard and receiving nothing in return, in the end I'm feeling depressed and sad about why things/shit happens only to me.

2ndly, whenever I'm too free, I start to think so much. Like how stupid my life is, how stupid I am, overwork but unpaid. Doing so much yet not being appreciated or even recognised. Caring so much for others, using every ways to make everyone around me happy. Congratulating others, feeling happy for others. But thinking back, there is nothing that makes me happy. I mean, yes, I'm happy whenever I see my friends/whoever around me are happy.

I really have to stop thinking sooo much, it's not healthy. But is there a method or something to stop myself from thinking sooo much ? It's seriously wayyy tooo muchhh....

Call me emo kid, but well... i'm just concern about myself, about my future... but for now work is killing me silently, i guess it's way too much for me to handle. Prolly i just need a shoulder to cry on, i need a nice hug, i need a nice holiday, i need some love be it from friends, family, guy, gal, my 2 lovely doggies or whoever.

Alright it's getting late, good nite love...

***When Will I Ever Stand Out, While Every Other Things Look Blurry??***

Deep deep thoughts,

Amanda Chua

Time Well Spent...

Managed to get the Car on Sat night, decided to bring my mum out for a nice dinner. Dempsy a place which Mummy have never been to. I guess we're all grown up, bringing her out for nice food, getting her exposed to a better life with better experience is what I want.

Drove her to Barracks (Western dinner), we're kind sick of Japnese food, not really sick but wants to try something diff. with a nice atmosphere. Asking mum to have red and white wine during the dinner too. I guess it's the kind of dinner we always wanted, however, sadly my dad is always too busy to join us.

Places like Dempsy, Holland V. and somewhere further will only be in our mind if we have car. However, will explore alot more nice places with my baby before I can drive my family out for nice dinner again. I love...

Family Love,
Amanda Chua

Catching Up...

Its nice catching up with P1 & P2 last night, however, I've neglected my other groups of friends. Just cus I'm spending quality time with the gals whom I sort of spend lesser time with as years goes by.

I know my apologies not gonna work, however, I will find ways to make up the "break the promise" me...

Many find that I've grown up quite alot, but they can see and sense that i've been trying too hard and eventually I'll be the one who's gonna be so drained out and breakdown. Time will tell, and I wont regret, cus I treasure every friendship I've made.

Blessed to have all of yoOu,
Amanda Chua

Feeling Sick

I cant remember when is the last time I fall really sick. Now I'm with Flu, Sore Throat, Cough & Headache. F1 really hit my limit, making me fall sick. I don't think I'm really that weak, just prolly due to the constant working till late hours in the office.
Then followed by F1, which I'm a bartender working at the Sky Terrace at the Pit Stop suite. Report work at 10am, baking & standing from 12 noon all the way till 12 midnight is now joke. Dehydrations are so bad that we drank lotsa water but yet we didnt pee the whole day. That's how terrible it is...

My poor gal, Sophie she was with me mending the Bar at Sky Terrace, she ended up with some heat rash (doctor said it's allergy, how stupid!) It's a good experience but well I cant comment much here. As compare to the others, I feel mine was not as bad. I really salute all the banquet team member, they do us proud, seriously. Their work committement & work efficency level, I would say it's not eveyone can do it.

Many won't be able to see the hard work we are going thru unless they have been thru it themselves. Now we know how hard it is, since we've been thru it.

Quote: Show your appreciation towards their hard work, to make them feel recognised and appreciated.

I just want to Thank everyone !! Most importantly ofcourse my lover which have gone thru thick and thin with me... We managed to endure it thru !!!

Weakling Sickling,
Amanda Chua =)

Random Thoughts...

Feeling this blog is useless ?
- No one reads it.

Thinking my work is stressful ?
- Can only blame it on myself.

I'm too kind & stupid ?
- Yes indeed, sometimes it doesnt pay to be kind =(

Effort, care & hardwork put in not recognised ?
- Sometimes it's quite disheartening, therefore, I feel that i'm SO STUPID...

There's alot more I can continue, about how much effort I put in for certain things, or how much care I show, or what so ever... It seems like only me, myself & I will know... But it's ok, looking at the positive side, I believe at least god will be the only one that can see.

I have alot of random thts in mind, but well I dont want to be emo, I dont want people to have the impression of me "ALWAYS BEING EMO". I'm the "THINK ALOT GAL", which i hate it at times.

Ok I guess i'm beginning to blog crap, but I guess it doesnt matter. Only I blog & I read... ;P

The Not So Feeling Ok,
Amanda Chua

Weddings...

Attended 2 different weddings just for the month of Sep.

Sometimes my blog seems kinda useless, nevertheless I shall jus post up more pics =)

We travelled to JB specially for Sangar's wedding.

Next up:

Our dearest Yiwen's wedding.

Love this pic, so Peagent contest kinda feel =)

We had a mini conversation on dressing for weddings. To always dress up nicely, it's like a respect to the newly wedd. However, sometimes everyone's dress sense are diff.

Happy Me... Smile, Laugh, Enjoy & Have Fun =)

Ok busy busy thats all I can say... I have yet to upload so many many photos. Mummy's birthday and also Bintan Trip... This coming week, gonna be busy, probably will update my blog and upload my photos soon.

Meanwhile, I would just like to share that the Happy & Smiley Amanda is sort of back. Received too many happy news, spent quality time with people I really Love... Too many many things, too many till i dont like the emo Amanda. (Duh~~ who like it anyway ?)

Ok I'm feeling really tired and shagged out. I shall rest early tonight and then continue with my busy week ahead.

HaPpy & bLeSsEd,
Amanda Chua

BuSy SePtEmBer...

WaKe mE Up, wHeN sEptEmBeR eNds...

It's gonna be a busy busy September... I can literally just plot down my confirmed schedule here.

30 Aug - 1 Sep
- Bintan Trip =)

4 Sep
- Friday Nite, Usually a Night to Hangout =P

5 Sep - 6 Sep
- Attending a Wedding @ JB and Stayover at Hotel

10 Sep
- Colleagues Day

11 Sep
- Jump Play @ Esplanade

12 Sep
- Working in the Morning... Saturday Duty

13 Sep
- Wedding Workshop, Needa work whole of Sunday

17 Sep
- Suet's Peagent (Finals)

After that will be preparation for F1... though i reckon that I might not be totally involved... but well prolly I'll be busy helping out with small little thing I guess...

Hahhaha I'm feeling so Sexcited !!! ( i know there's no such word, but i just like to use it ) I'm departing for Bintan Soon... Real Soon... I'm almost done with packing and after getting a little sleep and I'll be going off for breakfast and then WELCOME TO BINTAN !!! My first time to Bintan, and after much recommendation and consideration. I've decided to pay the amount to stay at Mayang Sari Seaview Resort. Guess it's gonna be fun with good company =)

Take care everybardy and I'll be back soon within a blink. It's finally a well deserving break after my freaking stress workload and job. I'm gonna throw all work behind and totally relax myself.

Sexcitedly,
Amanda Chua

Really Really Not Feeling Happy...

I'm really not feeling Happy... I've not really feel happy for a long time, except maybe for yesterday I have had a great good laugh over dinner, although in my mind still thinking about work.

I dont really know what i wanna blog about, but.... just wanna say SORRY and THANK YOU ALL !!!

Sorry for making all of you angry, as most of you mentioned that all of you care, thats why...

Thank you all for the nagging, constant scolding, constant care and concern, showering of love, showering of time and money for chilling and many many more... never enough of Thanks...

*** I know you care, I know I'm stubborn, but you know I care for you too and you're duper stubborn too, but nevertheless Thanks for everything !! Love You... =) ***

The Useless Me...

Am I Useless ? Yes, I am when it comes to friendship.

I realise I am always the one, experiencing SHIT when it comes to maintaining a friendship. It is always the TIME as a factor. However, I have very close friends, whom I tht we will really be BFF. But... until now, I really have no idea what is wrong. I really want to know what went wrong, but I just can't bring up my courage to ask again. I don't want to be SHUT by unknown answer, and keep poundering. I have to know what went wrong, before I can change or do something to improve on the friendship.

It really affects me, I mean, no one will understand how I feel...

Probably it's just the matter of time that things will turn out well ? Nah, I don't think so...
Probably I should just treat that nothing have happened ? Nah, It's not easy...
Probably I should just wait for the right opportunity to have a talk with them ?
Probably I am just thinking too much ? Nah, I don't think so too... Cause things seems different.

Can I have an answer, Can I know what's going on wrong ? We're close friends before, am sure there will be ways to make things turn out well again. We spend so much time, so much effort, but just within the snap of our fingers, everything just drop to square 1 ? Still remembering the happy times which all of us have spent together ? How we actually put in effort to celebrate each and everyone's birthday ?

Please God... I just need to know the reason, I just need an answer, or rather I pray that I can really get a reply someday. I know that this friendship to me means alot, it's definitely not a Hi-Bye friendship. But if they think I'm only worth the Hi-Bye category, then I'll really give up.

Sincerely Hearts The Old Days,
Amanda Chua

Webs Webs All Over...

Busy with work as usual, how long will it takes for me to really settle down and go home early everyday =(


It's not easy, it's not something i really love doing, but am i determined to endure through ? I just have to see, i cant predict what my answer gonna be. I just need time...

I can hear my Liver screaming in pain, occasionally ? I kinda like Mr Punch Winebar =) Drinking fast & much with empty stomach aint fun... Bad experience but i just dont know what got into me, i just drink like i'm drinking plain water...

Almost every week there will be a couple days of drinking, almost every week partying. Went to the New Club, Social House... Hmmm, aint a very fantastic place, but wearing Bikini & award you with a free entry ? Why not ? Most guys will like that place as most gals wear bikini and dancing away. Hahahha... But with that new group of girls, i'll say it's rather fun, at least i dont feel outcast =P

Had lotsa activities the past few weeks, i almost couldnt remember all. But i'm really really happy for a few reasons:

1. Managed to meet up with Eddie & Gang, also Vicky which i've seen her for years !!


2. Met up with Mainey & Joseph and MELVIN, which gave me a shocked and POP out from somewhere, I'm really really happy & delighted when i saw him =) Thankiew all for making me Smile & Laugh after a long & stressful day at work =P


3. K-boxing with the gals... ahha and my gf can really sing for nuts !! She's really good !! =)


4. Kite flying with our Catering Team, omg i didnt know kite flying can be so fun !! With the correct group of friends and people =)


5. Met up with my poly friends, Nurul, Aisha, Ibnu, Jo, Mel & Iffa !!! Congrates Iffa !!! It's your Engagement day, glad that you felt so happy when u see all of us there.


6. Steamboat with my family today, on National Day... Been a long time... Ever since i'm so involved in work, dont even have time for a proper family dinner =(

There's alot more... I dont think i can finish typing. Or rather it will make my entry duper boring.

Let's plan for somemore outing =) I'm loving it... I love all my colleagues !!!

***You'll are the one that makes me pull through my tough & difficult times. You'll are the one that really make me smile and feels everything is easy. Without You'll I really dont know how my life will be. HEARTS !!!***

Happy Birthday Singapore,
Amanda Chua

In Search For~~~

The Old Amanda Chua... I've had a hard time searching for the old Amanda, the old cheerful Amanda is missing, i cant seems to be able to find her back. Probably i'll be able to find her back 1 day, but when will it be ? The Answer is... I DONT KNOW...

I've heard comments from friends that the Amanda they know is no longer the old Amanda which they knew earlier. Personally i think so too...



I really missed her Cheerful Smile as well... the never stop smiling, always looking cheery, happy go lucky Amanda. Let's pray that we will be able to find her back soon. Prolly it's just the matter of time.

Missing You,
Amanda Chua (New)

Thank You & Sorry...

Thank you for all the encouragement, care and concern. Sorry that i've always been stubborn and being a reckless rider.

I wanna Thank too many people, for showing the ultimate care & concern for me... seriously blessed and touched. Thank you for being so observant, knowing something is not right, & showing a little concern for me.

Thanks for the encouragement and i've gotten a small booklet of encouragement + very belated bday wishes from my fellow colleagues. I really love all of you lots !!! But i still love my lover more la... ahhha...
And all of you for making the additional miles to visit me at the hidden wulu corner, ensuring i'm ok, giving me lotsa "Ai De Gu Li", Huggies, Pat on my shoulder, giving assurance, keep scolding me but is for my own good. Insist on Da-bao-ing food for me when i wanna skip lunch. I'm seriously touched, it makes me tear... really... i've never felt so love by so many people for the longest time. I REALLY REALLY LOVE ALL OF YOU !!! (Although all of you dont know my blog =P)

Thank you my belove family members... never fail to show the ample care, concern, simple text msg and call to make sure i'm ok and coping well.

Ofcourse a few of my outside friends... you know who you are. Thinking back, reflecting about the whole thing, it makes me feel really disheartened... Really really sad, heart breaking. AND I DONT KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON !!! AND I'M DEFINITELY NOT THINKING TOO MUCH !!! Can someone freaking gimmi an answer to all my questions ?? I'm feeling really really really down !!!

Suddenly i'm feeling emo tonight again... WHY DOES IT HURT ME SO ???

Sorry for drinking too much... really way too much... i noe it's definitely not good for my health. But i think drinking seems kinda addictive... seriously...

Sorry for riding so recklessly... Met a few close shave kinda incident before, i really hate myself for that... I really needa change...

Sorry for being so Stubborn... i know i should change, but it's really not easy... some people are handling me pretty well =)

Ok... i shall stop... TGIF... but i dont seems to look forward to it...

Emo-ing,
Amanda Chua

Utterly Disappointed...

As mentioned in my title, i'm utterly disappointed with myself. While riding home, realised that the weather was rather cool and kinda suitable for running. Reached home, changed to my running gear and head out for a jog. Never did i realise, i started panting so hard and fast, feeling really tired just after a mere 2km. Not only that, my back and knee starts to hurt pretty badly, feeling giddy and stuff.

Few things came into my mind:
- Not enough sleep ?
- Cause i skip lunch and dinner ?
- Cause i did not run for like 3 months already ?
- Cause my determination and mentally not strong enough ?

I really dont know, but i'm really really very disappointed with myself. But i'll just try to attempt another run soon and see how it goes.

Guess none of my colleague will chance upon my blog, cus i didnt tell them my blog add. Anyways, i've been rather stupid... i've been feeling a little emo these few weeks, especially at night while lying on the bed. Didnt really sleep well for the past weeks and occasionally i actually cried. I mean i dont know why, lotsa things in my mind and whenever i think abt my close colleague who's leaving, my tears just flow without me knowing. Thinking back about the past, how much SHIT we've been thru, really SHIT. And the wonderful oversea trip we went together, with lotsa nice memories.
Was thinking since i cry now, prolly her last day my tear gland will be too dry up and i wont cry. I cant' continue this topic anymore, it makes me wanna cry again. Was tearing when i'm walking back from my short run just now. =(

I'm glad at least my favourite colleague, my duper close lover is still around. Otherwise i dont know how life will be at work. Haiz, expect the unexpected...

Ok it's gonna be a busy week ahead, wont be online at all maybe from Thurs night all the way till Sat night. Prolly will only online on Sun... Ok i needa go shower... I stink from the run =P

I'm So Gonna Miss You Babe,
Amanda Chua

Quick Update...

Pretty exciting week, cause our RCCC transformed into a Mini Carnival Place. But it's really nice to see all those Sec Sch kids putting in effort to design their own booth (based on different countries). Overall glad that things are pretty stable, not much of a OVERWORK timing.

Managed to go back early for this week, except for Monday which everyone left. And yea, a mini party at New Asia Bar after work. Had a couple of drinks with those group of new peeps which i've met up with last week.

I'm feeling pretty happy, maybe because it's a more relaxing week, managed to spend time with a couple of friends. And really appreciate the short lunch with Kw on thurs.

Friday was a rather funny day, was telling myself no lunch, no dinner. But ended up we went Subway again for lunch. Hahah but it's quite alright, healthier choice... Head down to airport at night, funny thing is, i didnt ride my bike, took train with Sophie instead. Ok i needa say i'm kinda "Mountain Tortise", was in the New Mrt Train, and realised there's so much changes, somehow like Tw's Mrt now. Nice long chat, and yes we went all the way to Airport just for Mac =P
Was meeting my friends there, and it's near to Sophie's house, so yea and i'm kinda rushing for time. So it's like 1 stone killing lotsa birds...

Sat was a rather packed day, Morning duty till 1pm, Cine for Kbox with SSS group, Dinner with another SSS group and head down to the most Wulu area i feel till now... Sengkang for BBQ.
The Wii we played was like super funny, we're laughing almost throughout but it's rather fun. And you will never realise how time flies when u're having real fun.

And so here comes Sun, another day which i look forward to. Woke up early for breakfast with friends, now i'm slacking home for awhile cause the afternoon appointment got cancelled last min. So awaiting and preparing for TRANSFORMER tonight !!! Oh my... finally !!! Dont really have the time to watch it except today. Hehehe... i'm gonna see how good is that, lotsa good comment.

Okay... super lenghty blog... all words, words and words... but who cares...

Happy,
Amanda Chua

WeEkEnds...

Pretty long and tiring week as usual... Lost track of the time i reached home on Fri nite.

Sat woke up early (not for work) but head down to Chinatown to give support for 1 of my darling Ms Suet Yeo, she's taking part in the Miss Earth Singapore. Well i'll say that the competitors this time round are pretty strong, but importantly is that she enjoy the process and with all her dear friends turning up to support her. Guess that's really more than enough... In our heart, Ms Yeo... you're still the prettiest =)

Sat night, i'll say it's a rather nice exposure to the REAL WORLD... Dine with all pretty ladies (Mainly all models (including FHM runner up) + Air Stewardess) and those guys are like Boss of company, Hairstylist & FHM editors. It's my 1st time meeting up with all of them, really really nice exposure, and seriously i Envy all those pretty ladies... But well, it's not easy for me to Blend in, seriously. Dinner at Cafe Iguana was good, many many glasses of Lime Margarita (secrets to nice & smooth margarita) will be the Vodka.
It's so smooth that it's so nice to drink, that you wont realise that the alcohol level were actually quite high.

Went over to Forbidden City, lotsa glasses of Champagne + Vodka again... All i can say is that, expensive liquors kills and deminish all the headaches or hangover. I'm glad i'm given the opportunity to expose to this amazing outing & meeting quite a handful of amazing people. Being invited to the next party, prolly i'll pop by... but extensive involvement will not do good to my health and it's rather risky for me.

Gonna Thank all these amazing people for giving me a chance to truely understand and sees the REAL WORLD.

Anyways reached home feeling drowsy, had not much sleep and woke up early for Ktv session. Been quite sometime since we sing... It's pretty nice trying to adjust the Key, sourcing for songs that really suits us. Initial plan was supposed to go back to work, but after a long discussion and also because i'm feeling rather angry with certain stuff, i've decided not to go back, even though i tht of watching the opening ceremony, which i guess all these reminds me of my track and field days, thinking about that now, it brings back lotsa memories...

Ok i guess i'll stop here... no pics, cause i'm too lazy to post any.

Stubborn,
Amanda Chua

Unhappy...

I am feeling really really really x 100 not ok !!!

I dont know why, but I'm feeling really really really down... and I seriously HATE myself for feeling that way. Because of me feeling Sad, Unhappy, Moody and Frustration... I sort of wanna risk my own life while riding back home just now...
I was riding really recklessly, I needa apologise to my poor baby, I actually vent my anger on him. I was accelerating very hard and fast (if there's pillon behind me, prolly he/she will fly out of my bike without holding me tight, somehow like JetSki).
And lotsa hard braking and sudden braking. Cutting inbetween cars, tailgating behind cars, horn those cars, high beam those cars... if you wanna hate me, curse and swear at me... i dont really care. I'm feeling really really down... I just have the sudden urge to go to east coast but I decided not to, cus i dont have my Mp3 with me...

Arrrggg.... I'm sure it's not due to my lack of sleep... I really dont know why !!! I HATE MYSELF =( I HATE MYSELF BEING SUCHA DEVIL RIDER !!! And in my mind i'm thinking lotsa stuff, i just keep thinking, i can hardly concentrate on the road... it affects me quite alot... Maybe if i leave the office earlier, I might feel better ? I dont know...

And yes, was riding so dangerously just now, i'm thinking... just thinking... if accident were to happen, I think i deserve it, serve me right... just have this mindset and thinking (Choy, ofcourse i dont wan things to happen...)

I'm crazy... seriously i think i am... i am not thinking right, i am not feeling right, i'm not behaving right either... Oh god... Please help me !!! Arrggggg....

I want to be able to sleep well tonight, Insomnia for quite sometime... no more waking up in the middle of the night for me please....

Ok... i hope after a good nite rest tonight... i'll feel better tmr. Tmr is friday... TGIF everybardy...

Moody + Sad + Unhapppy,
Amanda Chua

Random Thoughts...

Hahaha, alright it's rather funny how a person will have lotsa random thoughts in mind and start to blog about random stuff.

Today is a day i really just slack my ass off at home/uncle's house. Which is what i really want, if i were to go out like yesterday, i think i'll feel a little tired.

I love to be random at times, making people's brain work a little and feeling confused like me.

Oh well...

I'm just feeling bored at my uncle's house, glad that i brought my lappy along, otherwise i'll definitely be napping instead.

Evil Laugh,
Amanda Chua

The Answer Is...

Guess I have the answer already...

Anyways this particular song had been lingering in my mind these few days. I love this song, and I guess this song brings back lotsa memories... so much that it's hard for me to handle as well.

It's none other than K-C & Jojo's All My Life...

Said I promised to never fall in love with a stranger,
You're all I'm thinking of I praise the Lord above,
For sending me your love, I cherish every hug,
I Really Love You !

All my life, I pray for someone like you,
I thank God that I, that I finally found you
All my life I pray for someone like you I
hope that you feel the same way too
Yes, I pray that you do, love me

You're all that I've ever known, your smile on your face, all I see is a glow,
You turned my life around, You picked me up when I was down,
You're all that I've ever known, when you smile your face glows,
You picked me up when I was down
You're all that I've ever known, when you smile your face glows,
You picked me up when I was down and I hope that you feel the same way too,
Yes I pray that you do love me too

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

" You're All That I Ever Wanted, And For You The Song I Sing... "

Confused + Tiring...

Last week wasnt a good week for me, excluding the weekends which i had fun.

I'm confused about a few stuff actually, which makes me unable to sleep for the past week. I need someone to talk to, but seems like nobody will really understand my situation. Therefore I can only keep it to myself, and suffer...
Shared it with my family though, but well...

For a few nights, I can wake up in the middle of the night suddenly, and cant get back to sleep after that, then I'll start to visualise the whole scenario. Otherwise I'm so so so tired after i reached home from work, I tht I might have a good nite sleep, in the end I'll be tossing and turning in bed, poundering again before I fall deep asleep.

How how how how how ??? I'm running out of Time, I'm running out of Energy, I'm running out of Passion...

Maybe I should start with a little prayer everynite before I sleep ?

Maybe I should just let myself suffer... in a good way, good perspective ?

I just seriously need some listening ears and advise... but... I always like to tell others, just follow your heart. But now I'm confused, and my heart aint opening a pathway for me to head on to.

Alright... I cant go on... I'm very very very confused still...

Confusion,
Amanda Chua

No Updates....

I'm too busy, I've got no time to update. But I'll try to squeeze in a little bit of time to update.

Meanwhile, take care everybody and enjoy !!

Anyways I love my weekends ! Tiring but Fun =)

Happy,
Amanda Chua

Tiring Week = Mentally Drained...

I'm Feeling So Tired !!!

Been working and reaching home late the whole of this week. Let me update on my reaching home timing:

Mon : Work & Reached home at abt 12.15am.
Tue : Work & Reached home at abt 12.30am.
Wed : Went for Dinner and Party @ Double O after work at 9.00pm, Reached home from Party at abt 4.00am.
Thur: Work & Reached home at abt 10.30pm. (Cus i'm too shagged out with jus 2 hrs of slp)
Fri : Work & Reached home at abt 11.30pm.

When u're going out to play & enjoy u wont feel tired. But when u're working, u'll be mentally drained & seriously feel tired.

Anyways 1st thing, i wanna apologise to Suet & Andrew, cus was supposed to go for Andrew's birthday celebration on Thurs, but i ended work late, & the day before went Double O to celebrate Mr. Fandi's bday & reached hm at 4am.

Had a mere 2 hrs slp, work up & head to work. Had a terrible headache, pop a panadol & hahah the morning timing i still hv this drowsy feeling, like i'm seriously floating. So i intend to give the celebration a missed... Sorry~~

Anyways lotsa birthday baby tmr (070609):-

1. My Beloved (Daddy)
2. One of My Favourite Sec Sch Teacher (Ms Phang)
3. The Ex Colleague I Miss (Jess Lee)
4. My uncle (Uncle Winston)

Happy Birthday to ALL !!! Though already had celebration for my daddy today =P

Yst felt abit Feverish at work, but i feel quite alright, but today my Sore Throat got worst... and I hope it's not inflammation, cus it's really Hell painful !!

I feel like investing some amt to deco my bike, changed those ugly parts away n beautify it. But i feel like spending money to buy stuff i like too... And i needa save up to go overseas again at end year... How how how ??? Money so NOT enough can ??

Anyway i'm really really really tired, so not enough sleep. And finally i bothered to head down to the bike shop today to change my Engine Oil... Next time round will be doing abit of servicing already. =)

Take care people... i'll update with a little bit of photos... too many photos yet to be uploading to FB.

Shagged Out,
Amanda Chua

Hanging Out...

I love to have a week packed with programs...

I'm happy and glad to have so many different group of friends who love different kinda activities...

So many programs I tht of planning, but so little time to accomplish it...

At least I've taken the flyers already !!! Yes finally, and it's free =)

Then the very week... the long awaited clubbing over at the new Butterfactory...

It's like Finally......

We've planned to go there a couple of times but it got cancelled due to unforeseen circumstances... Eventually we will always end up at Zouk or St James.

The New Butterfactory i'll say are pretty nicely done up, and with BIGGER dancing floor... Which is GOOD !!

Hahahha.... Oh yea, and before that was Dbl O... Free flow of alcohol...

Drink drink till enough before heading down to Butterfactory.

For more pictures, can just look at my Facebook =)

I'm trying to upload more pics to make my blog not too wordy. I'm trying already ok my friends !!! Hahahhha....

Alright tired... think needa head to bed soon everyone. Take care please...

Miss "Alcoholic",

Amanda Chua

Never Felt Like This Before

I have never felt like this before, it's those kinda piercing heart kinda pain that i'm experiencing now. I sense something is not right, and it's because i treasure the friendship, therefore i build the courage to ask. But well, maybe times will make me figure out what's wrong. I'm just sad yet surprise that things can change just within a snap of ur finger tips.

I'm glad that i only realised and have time to browse thru today. Otherwise i would have like really drink till i get really drunk yst. Cause it's really hurting, you will never understand that kinda pain, & you never will be able to. I seriously feel like crying now... it's really painful + hurtful, seriously...

Ok i should not continue, cause i wont be able to turn back the time.

Went Dbl O last night after work, got invited for their Anniversary thingy, free admission, free house pour all the way till 10pm. I kinda lost count, kinda forgotten what we drank.
But it was not bad, they really put in lotsa effort for this Anniversary celebration, they invested so much on the Polaroid films and also those drinks. Many tables just order hell lotsa drinks before 10pm, so they can slowly finished those drinks and party throughout.

We headed down to Butterfactory, yesterday is the day we met up with different new friends, which is good. =) More party kakis ? Nah i dont wanna drink so much again anymore, the hangover feeling i'll say it's killing me. Maybe next time i'll still party but wont drink much, it's always fun to be sober and observe. Overall St James Boiler seems to be a better place, but Butter was good towards, closer to the end of party.

Ok i'll update soon, maybe a little of Taiwan trip... i'll see if i have the time.

Take care everyone~~~

Sadness Fill Within Me,
Amanda Chua

FlyiNg aWay FoR a WeEk...

I'll be flying off to Taiwan from 11 May to 16 May... please don't miss me~~~

Anyways i'm kinda feeling kinda excited + fear + worries for this trip...

Excited: Cause we're gonna visit more new places which i did not visit last year. And experiencing something which not everyone can get to experience.

Fear: It's the outbreak of H1N1 that is causing lotsa fear to many tourist, including myself and chairmeh. We gonna try to take lotsa safety precaution there.

Worries: Work + Some private and confidential issues... Hope everything will be good, but am sure things will turn out pretty well and with the strength from god which you strongly believed in.

My family... they will take care of themselves, they're pretty independent, but i'm gonna miss my Mummy =(... haahh alright i know it's abit CRAZY, but cause i LOVE my mum too much la...

Anyways what i really want now is to really pray and hope to be fully recovered tmr from my sore throat and slight flu... As most of u know, whenever i have sore throat, i'll have flu and cough coming my way, it's like a package, a set meal.
I'm just gonna keep my finger cross, pray and hope...

Last Thursday i head to East Coast alone, yes suddenly i jus have the urge to go there, enjoy the Sea Breeze, it's been sometime i've not sit there listening and feeling the lonely night. Took this particular pic which i kinda like.



"A long and lonely path straight ahead, would you prefer to walk alone, walk in a group or just with ur love ones ?"

Was there till quite late, almost didnt feel like going home if there's no work the next day.

Received call from my fren, telling me this particular news, i'm so gonna support you, and you can definitely do it. Jia You !!! You'll have all our support.. =)

I'm so gonna enjoy my Taiwan trip, hehehhee... And Thank you everyone for the care and concern, i'll recover fast hopefully by tmr !!! So i'll be able to enjoy...

Take care all my dear friends and i'll be back soon to blog and add more pictures to beautify my blog =P

Signing Off with My Beautiful Picture... HahaHAahaaa.... Good Bye !!!

HaPpY MotHeR's dAy !!!

Happy Mother's Day to all our beloved Mummy!!!

Hahah had advanced celebration with all the Mums today at Raffles Town Club. Booked 2 tables, 1 table consist of all the young + Not Married, the other table all the Mummy + Daddy... Dinner wasnt that nice, service wasnt that good, i seriously dont think the amt we paid is worth it. I should hv booked my hotel's function room for the dinner instead.

Anyways, other than that i jus wanna say a very big congratulations to my Cousin Samantha Wong !!! She actually won the Interior Architecture & Design 2009 Awards. Hahha we're so proud of her !! And after dinner we intend to find some fun... we decided to go for bowling !! My grandma suggested it, and since it's her 1st time, and she's so keen, we decided to play 1 game.
It's pretty cool, haha didnt know our family do have the genes of playing bowling, all of us got at least 1 strike. Except for my grandma =P But her results wasnt that bad too =)Overall it's really a fun day out, tmr i gotta start packing my bag, too lazy to do it today.

Anyways i'll update again tmr when free... Group Pic...



Amanda Chua

So TrUe... So Me...

Just took a quiz from Facebook, and i realised it's so me... i shall paste it here. =)


Amanda took the Which type of woman are you? quiz and the result is Lovely Lady

You are lovely and caring. You help others and spread out a lot of sympathy. Your life aim might be to serve the people. But your weakness is that you forget about yourself, your own needs. All your time is hold back for your friends and family. You are always there for people in trouble. Ready for any emergency. You make a lot of sacrifices just to be a good human. But every woman has her needs, her longings and a destiny. Don't loose yourself in work or curing other people's souls. You will have your own problems in your life. Another problem is that you don't say your opinion when it's right and important to say it. People trample onto your soul if you are always so kind and lovely and helpful. They will play on you. Though you should try to relax more and enjoy your life, you should not loose the gift that was given to you to help others . Not everyone is created this way... You are unique and rare!

I kinda agree on those in bold, it's so me...
I don't mind making sacrifices, as long as its worth it.
I'll only feel happy if my friends are happy.
I'll be happy if i'm blessed with nice friends and family, where we treasure each other. =)

I may not express my care and concern to all of you, but deep down i really treasure all my dear friends. I admit that i'm Bias, i treat some friends better than others. But sometimes i'm afraid to put in much effort into a friendship, because i'm afraid of losing those i really treasure.

Ok i guess i've mentioned enough about friendship, i guess it's a plan arranged by god at times. But no matter how, i'll put in effort to treasure each and everyone of you. =)

LoViNg aLL My FriEnds,
Amanda Chua

LaCk oF sLeEp...

Feels that i'm lacking of sleep. I should get more sleep this week and also i can't let my immune system goes down. Less than a week and i'm flying off again =)

Everyone, please take very good care of your own health, drink lotsa water !!!

I'm really lousy at doing up my blog, gosh i'm always like doing lotsa trial and error, jus only by putting up the chat box already drain a little of my brain cell, making me feel real tired.

I shall sleep and update again when i have the time.

If Only~~~

What If~~~

I Wish~~~

PeNny oF tHoUgHts,
Amanda Chua

MoViEeEEeee....

Alright, just reached home from Midnight Movie, though it's arranged super last min. Like reached home 10.30pm, confirmed by 10.45pm. Booked tix and off to Great World with Mr. Sam for our "X-Men Origins"... Hahaha, it's quite nice but too little actions though...
Anyways i've not seens sucha heavy rain for like a month ?

The Heavy Rain, Hitting Hard On The WindScreen.
With Wiper On To It's Fullest Force, Yet Whatever Infront Seems Blur...
Suddenly You Will Just Want To Pray For The Road To Be Clear,
And Hope For A Safe Journey Home...
I Am So Glad I Am Not Riding My Bike At That Very Moment,
Otherwise I'll Be Alone In The Street Waiting For The Rain To Stop...

Been rather busy these few days...

Thursday, our crazy gals nite out... Seriously duper fun and i'm sure all of us enjoyed it to the fullest and we're craving for more of this to be arranged =) I'll try to arrange it soon again...
It's only towards the end of the party that i kinda spoilt all their mood... So Sorry =(
I Felt kinda sad when my 2G got lost... But can only blame it on myself i supposed, had a little too much alcohol...
Anyways all of us gals had fun, that's the main important outcome and feedback i'll wanna hear =)

Ok i am kinda tired and sleepy... I'll update again tmr... too tired to continue, didnt really get enough sleep for the past few days.

SleEpy,
Amanda Chua

Calm dOwN aMaN....

"Standing Ontop Of A Mountain,
Witnessing The Sun Rises,
Feeling The Darkness Became Brightness,
Getting The Warm From The Sun To Your Heart,
Making You Feel Love,
Allowing You To Forget The Unhappiness."

Sometimes the power of Sea and Sky can really be shocking.

How i wish i have house that's by the Seaside,
So i can listen to the Sea Breeze and the Silent Night to calm my Tension Feeling.

How i wish i have house that's high up on the Mountain,
So i can have the best view for Sunrise and Sunset,
And also to Scream Out Loud to clear my disturbed mind.

I Thank everyone for the Love, Care and Concern, seriously feel blessed to have all of you.

I'll be ok after a good night sleep.

Update again on my weekend... Stay Tuned...


COoliNg dOwN,
Amanda Chua

HaPpiLy EvEr AftEr...

Just gotten a good news from my dear, as she was telling me this particular person actually concluded that he gave up. =)

Well i knew it all along, it's just the matter of time. Giving up is easy (since when it's not ?) And especially after going away for holiday, and opening your heart and mind to this total relaxation trip. It's easy to forgot, find a new rays of light in life and follow that path, as well as giving up. Hahah so sometimes DETERMINATION and I WON'T GIVE UP can be a little untrue, it depends on individual and whether you're given the opportunity or whether you're just steps away from the goal.

But what i'm feeling now is that... haha guy's determination seems kinda weak. But it's ok, cause you choose your own path and you lead your own life. Importantly is that we're happy =)

Suddenly i'm Missing this particular person, and it jus makes me hoping to be able to spot this particular person at certain common areas and places which might have a high chance of appearing. Haiz... the feeling of hoping and wanting to see this person seems kinda bad. I shall jus try to think of this particular person more and then prolly i can dream of this particular person =)

*** I MiSs YoU~~~ ***

Ok i shall get prepared and bathe to get ready for my MoviEeEee...

Take care people, and most probably i wont be online for the next 2 days...


MiSsiNg YoU,
Amanda Chua

BuSy WeEkeNd...

This weekend ain't a resting week... it's gonna be a duper busy week for me. But well i'm kinda looking forward to weekends though, Especially Sat !!! Tmr night i'm going Hot Leg with Mr Sam... Hahah yea again, last week only for Tea though.

Ok i don't wanna talk about my weekends on what i'm doing yet, cause you never know if you have Spy in your blog you know...

However, everyone in the department went to have lunch together at Raffles Hotel, Triffin... Cause it's Secretariat week, and all coordinators and admins have had got free lunch from our managers =) Hmmm, food there wasnt that bad... lotsa curry and Naan... We all assume that there's some substance that's put into the food, cause all of us felt super sleepy after lunch.
And yes, me and Swo was like super happy, cause we can lunch together again today ! Since we can't go for Lunch together, occasionally we'll meet up for breakfast or dinner.

Oh anyways, we're all kinda touched by the little surprises our managers gave. When we're back from lunch, all coordinators and admins each had a bouquet of roses as well as balloons at our individual desk. It's pretty touching to see that scene, as we felt that we're really appreciated by our managers with all our hard work. Sometimes words and expression alone will never be able to explain how touched and appreciative we're with this little surprises they gave.

I LOVE MY COLLEAGUES !!! LOVE LOVE LOVE !!! =)))

Smiling Happily,
Amanda Chua

Quick Update...

Ok i'm jus gonna have a little quick update.

Friday nite afterwork, as usual needa find Hot Leg... haha actually i do have a few programme lined up properly.

7.30pm: Supposed to meet my friends over at Kallang, but i couldnt complete my work on time and gave it a missed...

11.30pm: Movie, Too Fast Too Furious 4... decided to give it a missed as i'm afraid i couldnt make it on time.

Arranged Hot Leg with SWO, completed my work at like close to 9pm, went to have dinner at Sushi Teh with SWO, SHO and EVN... Hahah after dinner, tht they might wanna head home, but we ended up at Brotzeit, having some German Beer. That place aint a good place for chilling, it's too warm !! Making us perspire !! We headed home abt 12midnight...

Was thinking of resting at home, but the night is still young !! Haha been telling Sam that i'm unable to meet him for Tea like more than 3 times ?? Cause it's either i end work late, or we're both eventually too lazy to head out. Wanted to go Tea party, but then it closes quite early. As Sam doesn't wan me to Zig Zag all the way to our Tea session. So he's being kind and sweet enough, asking me to head home, park my bike... and he picked me up.
We went 2am cafe instead, cus it's kinda late, well i kinda love the cheesecake, it's kinda special. Nice place to chill with Tea, Gossips and Desserts... And yea Thank You Sam for the treat =P (He insisted that the Cheesecake is for my belated bday cake)...

Alright Sat finally i've got time to give my baby a nice clean washup. Then headed down to Indoor for Lee Brother's Concert. And we celebrated Ouxiang's bday at the same time.. Before that we had dinner at Astron... Again~~ haahh i had it on my bday =P
Overall concert was not too bad, Stef Sun super sexy with that beautiful top she wore, we shouted sexy to her and she replied Thankiew in a kinda shy tone. And she played the piano, for that i forgot which song really well. Just that i feel we aint high enough, i shall save all the strength for her concert =P

Oh yea i took a pic with Olivia Ong, she's seated over at Row 2, while we're at Row 4. And Jeanette Sun was there too, seated at Row 1, seated separately with her parents. And we had supper at our usual hangout over at Prata House, and i rode back feeling tired and got stopped by Road Block... Phew~~ They didnt notice my P plate and didnt get caught for that =)

Okie there's something proud i wanna announce !! I went Running just now !!! Gosh, it's been a long long long time since i went Running... I felt kinda fat, think after i got my real freedom (being Single), i've gain like 2kg !! Gosh, can u believe it ? My appetite really got better, and also the Bangkok trip we kept eating non stop, and not forgetting 9 birthday cakes !!!
And also my Miss Lover who keep feeding me food almost, yes almost everyday...
I think maybe i ran at least a 3km ? I'm gonna ride my bike, follow the path i ran and see what's the exact distance i've covered. I didnt stop, and i think i ran at least a good 40mins, cus i completed my run with jus nice 1 completed album.
I'm glad i started the run today, wed will be Party nite !!! Definitely wont have strength to run on Thurs, and Fri... Hot Leg nite, sure wont be running as well. So yea, i made the right choice, target will jus be Once a week, follow by Twice a week and hopefully Thrice a week =) Slowly, just needa motivate myself.

Otherwise now i'll jus jog when i have the time and mood. But when i'm back from Taiwan, i gotta start planning a light training program for myself.

***Motivation from peers or anyone with great influence,
doesn't really help to push and make you strive.
It's the Determination by oneself, and the strength from god that actually gives u the will to strive and accomplish.***

Gonna be a busy busy busy and tiring week for me. But i'm sure i'll be able to survive... Keeping my fingers cross. =)


Felt Accomplished,
Amanda Chua

22nd Birthday Celebration

I've decided to blog abit on my bday celebration, seems like some of you are rather interested with my life. Hahha...

Thursday nite went to our usual Introbar... that Jess aka Foi was like super late can ?? Sophie can even take a train home, bathe, had dinner and make her way down and yet Jess was nt there yet. Anyways they ordered a drink for me, which is rather nice but pretty strong as it contains like 7 diff. hard liquor. And they bought a cake (my 3rd cake - Blackforest) and brought it out on surprise for me, so touched =) And heheee we had 8 shots, 2 each... Still we feel that Introbar was a little bored and decided to head up to New Asia Bar.

We ordered beer... haahh and the music aint to my liking, the crowd was kinda pathetic too. However i was a little drowsy after that... we sat down n gossip a little before heading back home. But overall it's a joyous night... I LOVE ALL YOU GALS !!! (Winnie, Jess, Sophie) =)

Then Friday morning, met up with Liyu, Cheryl, Apple, Katherine and Eddie for a round of Bowling session, havent bowl for the longest time. My ball was somewhere at home, hiding at 1 corner i guess. It's kinda fun, but i chip abit of my nails as i've got no time to cut it. We tried to squeezed into Edd's car and head to IMM, met up with the rest like Kenneth and Tiac... had lunch. (Thankiew all for paying for my lunch =P) Then haha had my 4th cake - Chocolate with nuts for moi bday.

Friday late afternoon, met up with Vien, Suet and Ms Phang and also Liyu joined us too. Had a mini video screening for Easter and also i kinda like Ms Phang's new house design, nice concept. And i had my 5th cake - Mango cake, or rather 2nd cake for the day... haha.
Oh yea followed by Dinner at Ding Tai Feng... (Thankiew Ms Phang for the Dinner =P)

Saturday evening met up with Sophie, was invited to Easter service introducing "The Final Solution", it was rather cool and it's funny and was rather touching. Then was introduced to a few new friends but it came too sudden, i almost couldn't remember all the names... oOps... my bad. I was supposed to suggest the place & what to have for dinner, but eventually still managed to force her to think of a place. We had Korea dinner over at East Coast, super nice, big and quiet place... i like. Jus tat i didnt go walk around and enjoy the sea breeze after dinner. Anyways the food was not bad. (Thankiew Sophie for the Dinner =P)

Saturday night when the clock strike 12midnight which is Sunday, my dearest Sophie was the 1st to wish me, kinda touched. Anyways wasnt very happy with my bro and felt kinda disappointed and bored, decided to head out for a ride. Yes riding alone on my bday can ? But i'm nt gonna blog abt my night ride, confidential on the place i go, heheheee... only some pple noe.

Morning had mac breakfast, afternoon a surprised 6th cake - ice cream blackforest from my family. Hahahaa... scared of cake already. But it's yummylicious...

Evening met up with my friends... Lala, Chairmeh, Ccc, Kaiwen, Peiwen, Peisien, Twl and Kee... Jingting and Eileen couldn't make it, no full attendance... hahhhaaa... We had this super cheap and reasonable western dinner. Followed by walk to the counter over at Nydc to choose my own cake and providing my own lighter. We headed to the fountain over at Suntec, they wanted me to pretend that the 7th cake was bought by them and i must look surprised. Played along with them and then we headed to M. walk for dessert at bakerzin.
I almost wanted to kill my dears (Chairmeh and Lala) when they coordinate with someone i ABSOLUTELY DOESNT WANNA SEE ON MY BDAY... to appear with a 8th chocolate cake... i was really pissed, that i almost wanted to carry my bag and walk out on them. But i calm myself down, not wanting to spoil everyone's mood. And then followed by a complimentary 9th warm chocolate cake from Bakerzin. Seriously sinful and it's like almost all related to chocolate... [FYI i love chocolate cake, that is why =)]

Anyways overall a very enjoyable bday this year, 1st cake - Banana Chocolate was from my colleagues sharing together with Kelly. And 2nd wasnt really a cake, it's ice cream from swensons with candles over at Hua Hin (Thailand) by Soi, Foi and Omm.

And and present from my Colleagues, a Small Coach wristlet cum shoulder bag. =))

Had a very blessed bday this year, with so many of my friends and beloved people celebrating with me. I've never felt so happy before, i really really really felt very blessed... I couldn't have imagine my life without all of you. And i've made a promise to really keep the friendships going stronger, we'll be friends till the end of time. I dare not dream that all can be friends till the end of time, but those i treasured and ofcourse those that treasure me as well.

I LOVE ALL OF YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU !!! MY DEARS, MY LOVER, MY FAMILY, MY COLLEAGUES, MY FRIENDS AND MY STRENGTH OF SUPPORT (YOU NOE WHO YOU ARE).... THANKIEW ALL SO SO SO MUCH... *HEARTS* + *MUACKS*

Ok i'm so sorry... my entry was super duper long with words, jus like some crazy essay. But well read if you want, if not thanks for dropping by my blog. Hahhaha


Felt Blessed and Loved,
Amanda Chua

TiRiNg bUt FuN~~~

Alright, i've seriously hell lotsa things to share regarding abt my trip or anything else. But i'm really busy...

Touched down in Sg at 0130 hrs (9 Apr 09), and i had to like take a cab home as there's flight delay, a painful S$35.00nett, i could have like drink quite a few bottles of beer over at Khao Shan. Ok, anyways i've not recuperate from my lack of sleep, as i reached home at 0230hrs (9 Apr 09). And i slept at 0300hrs (9 Apr 09) and woke up at 0630hrs (9 Apr 09), prepare myself and rode off to work. Was really tiring, but Thank God the workload for that day was acceptable, otherwise i'm gonna be so dead.

Had Pizza for dinner and as usual our Hangout place. Hhaha alright i shall update more, as i needa rush out for another gathering. And yes i reached home at 0300hrs (10 Apr 09) and now 0900hrs (10 Apr 09) i gotta shower up and head out for 2 diff. programs for today. =)

Super tiring week, but i really like this fully packed weekend. As it's a week that i can meet up with all, seriously all my Dear friends... Although there's 2 (Mr Hong Wei Kiat Melvin & Ms Soh Ying Huey) of them that i won't be able to meet up with, and a couple of my "Missy" friends, but it's ok i hope. If not it's gonna be really good...

Ok i have to go... Take Care My Dear Friends~~~

HAPPY EASTER DAY !!!


Delighted,
Amanda Chua

I NeEd $$$

While waiting for my hair to dry, was surfing some websites and i realised i've so many things that i tht of buying, yet i'm feeling so poor. How long do i have to work and save in order to buy the things i want ?

So many things i wanna do, but all of it involves $$$... Maybe i should just stop thinking of buying expensive stuff, since i can't afford it at all !!

But well i would still wish to design my bike, can anyone volunteer to design nice artwork for my bike ? Thought of customising the sticker for my bike. Though i used to be an art student, but my art aint fantastic. If someone can design really nice artwork for my bike, and somehow close to my character, i don't mind forking out the money to customise the stickers. =P
But i doubt anyone will be designing it... i shall try to get some inspiration and design 1 for my bike. Hehehe... but must match with my helmet as well. Hhahaa, that's provided i'll be riding for long, otherwise it's gonna be so wasted.

Ok i shall stop surfing the net !!!! I should try get more sleep !!!

Designer In Dream,
Amanda Chua

Shagged + Drained Out

I'm pretty drain out this week, i can't believed that i can work until 11.30pm at night, and reached home at 12midnight. Not clearing my own stuff, but clearing other's stuff. It's so like a torture can ?

But well that's life... "Feel the Bitterness before you can feel the sweetness"

Sometimes i just wish to hold it on so Deary, but sometimes i just wish to drop it like a Time Bomb. God, please help me... gimmi the strength please ???

I am feeling really tired, i seriously needa sleep early today, as i'll needa wake up early tmr morning. But we're so looking forward to Mac breakfast after that =P
I'm seriously eating alot nowadays, thanks to my Lover who's like feeding me !!

In order to make my life more colourful, i think i should take up ECC... Hehehe, planning in progress =) And i seriously wanna learn to pillion people, wondering how should i start...

Ok i'm really tired, gonna go shower and head to bed soon, and i'm so happy tonight, it's been a long time since i had a very proper and nice dinner !!

Shagged Out,
Amanda Chua

aNgRy~~~

I AM ANGRY !!!

I don't see why an older guy can have sucha stupid thinking, i'm sorry i use the word "Stupid", but i'm really angry.

I was having this conversation with someone i used to love, but not now anymore. I was explaining my stand that when i'm attached, i'll make sure i don't do things that crosses beyond the line.
This particular guy, just jumped into conclusion so suddenly saying these 2 things:-

1. Means now you can anyhow.
2. So in another word is Flirt.

And he actually add on saying that i'm enjoying all these...

I'm seriously angry about these conversation, but all my friends who knows me well enough will know that i'm not this kinda person. I'm seriously speechless, i won't wanna use this word Dumb or Stupid, but i'm so sorry i jus have to let it out !!

Why can't some people jus understand ? I'm seriously enjoying my life now with really good company and people i truely love, can actually make him think that i'm flirting around ? And he thinks that i'm enjoying all these flirting now. Oh gOsh... Stabbed me with a knife please !!

I am not in a mood to blog about my Happy and Crazy Sat Nite, shall do it again when i'm free and not so pissed off...

PiSsEd,
Amanda Chua

Mentally Drained...

I'm having a rather bad headache now, i've realised that majority of us (me and my colleagues), we're spending more than 12 hrs a day just in the office itself. We occasionally joke and tease each other, "where's your house ? Don't tell me it's this office ?" Sometimes i feel that i'm really done with my stuff, i can complete my task on time with a pretty good time management skills. But why am i still going back home late ? Sigh~~ i shan't emphasize on it here... Just pretty Speechless~~

Hmmm, i have not plan on what to do on Friday night, not everyone is free.

But.... I'm so looking forward to Saturday !!! Gonna be a Fun, Tired yet Crazy and Happening Day & Night !!! Weekend please come soon~~

But i must admit time really flies, this Friday gonna be Pay Day ! But all of it will be thrown into my Bangkok Trip and i'll still needa wait for April's Pay to top up for my Taiwan Trip. SO POOR CAN ?? But what the hell, as long as i enjoy, and i'm definitely sure i'll with the great Company i'm gonna have for both different trips.

"Voice out with freedom ? Or keep it to oneself ?
For either ways, it's not gonna benefit us,
As there's differences in the culture."

Shit just happened at times, but i am rather proud of myself, as i realised i'm kinda good at keeping my cool and not showing my unhappiness at my work. Or even if i'm sad, i don't show it out easily... hahaha...


Tired & Sleepy,
Amanda Chua

EmOtiOn - LeSs

Having a nice filling dinner, drinking and gossiping will be the best way to relieve stress.
Ofcourse you would needa gossip with the right group of frenz. Like how i used to gossip so much with my Dear, we can practically chat on the phone for the longest time, like there's once we chatted from 2am to 5am, despite having to work the next day. Hahha and she knows i love her !!

It's nice having dinner at this not so atas place (Streets), and having beer at this atas (Introbar)... Nice gals talk/gossip... I needa find a day to really go drink my hearts out without worrying about something ( i can't reveal it here, haha ). But not too bad, cont. some more drinks at home, cheaper and yea safer =P

Sometimes i hate myself for feeling Emo, it's like What The Hell... I know many of my frenz are kinda concern about me. But i'm sorry, as i'm kinda stubborn, but i'm always extra careful with things i do ya.
But all your scoldings and care for me is greatly felt, and i thank you all for that, cause i know all of you still love me. =))

I'm blogging more often, logging on to msn is because i've made a promise to all of you (you know who you are), that i'll be more active and putting in more effort to treasure all the friends i have, and getting latest update on each and everyone of you.

Ok guess i shall stop here for now... very sleepy and drowsy... it's gonna be a good nite sleep. =P


Love,
Amanda Chua

EnJoyiNg EvEry mOmEnt of it...

Workload increased, slowly i feel that i'm drowning....

But what i want now is to learn more new stuff, getting started with things i've not done before.

Plans/Fun/Holidays... that's what i'm looking forward to, to action as many of it and make sure it's fun and enjoyable.

Oh yea went to watch "Race To Witch Mountain" yesterday night, it's a rather nice show, i expect it to be quite bad which i tht i wont enjoy but i'm wrong.
Hahha i made the right decision by going home, park my bike and asking my fren to pick me up. Cause i was practically stonning when i step into the cinema.

HmMmm... might not have plans for the weekend, but well i shall see about it.

I realised after not meeting up/chatting with Melvin for so long, we still have so much to talk online. I missed and love him can ?? He's still my best bud, we can chat practically about anything and everything. We've so much to catch up again when he's back. Actually he's always the one i'll happen to share about my unhappiness. Thank you boy...

I love chatting with many people, they just make me feel better. But everyone is so involved in their own stuff, especially everyone now is preparing for their exams, me the only one working have nothing in common with them to study about. Depressing... maybe i should start studying ? But it's gonna be ex, i dun want burden on my parents.

Oh yes, everyone is trying to make me grow some meat !! But no doubt, my appetite is back, it's back like 3 weeks ago ? I can feel that my tummy is growing a little bigger, not beer belly i hope.
My office secret affair lover had been trying to feed me with snacks, wanting me to grow fat. But yea i should gain back some weight which i've loss.

Ok i know this post is kinda lengthy... but pardon me. Cause i'm stonning while blogging. =p

*Enjoying every happy moment experiencing now,
Otherwise when gone, never will able to find the same happy moment again.*

I Love All My Friends... I Really Do... I Can Never Live Without Any Single One Of You... Also My Brothers and Mummy... *MuAcKsSss...*


Xoxo,
Amanda Chua

The Answer Is...

As per my title,

The Answer Is... A Painful Goodbye...

Guess it's not the best ending i want though, but that's the only way to end the suffering for both. As everyone know i may look tough, but deep inside, my heart is actually quite fragile...

Okay anyways guess it's just the matter of time, just hope this firm decision will stop the unhappiness and suffering. And hope happiness be by our side...

"Do not look back and grieve over the past,
for it is gone,
and do not be troubled about the future,
for it has yet to come.
Live in the present, and make it so beautiful
that it will be worth remembering."

It's over, i should not grieve about it, but to move on... it's always never easy to end off something, but guess people jus assume it's easy for me.
It takes time, how long ? God knows...

I'm glad i have my baby, to bring me around for some nice cool breeze. By the way i tht of naming my baby Raphael or Michelangelo, haven't decide on which one though. Haha...

Alright, take care aligators...


Healing My Soul,
Amanda Chua

WhAt iS LoVe ?

Friends & Close ones around me are all experiencing some complications when it comes to relationship. Sometimes you think back why can't love be as simple as it can be ? It's actually simple, jus that... hmmm well if i go on, there'll be never ending to it.

How do you define your relationship with someone when it's stated "complicated" ?

I remember sharing with my bro on this, "complicated", does it means "separation/cool down period" ? Or if you think of a funnier view, it would be "i'm bi" ? I have a few friends that's experience this "complicated" status in their relationship, ok but it's "separation/cooldown period", it's not the other option FYI.

Anyways, i came across this blog and that person actually wrote:-
*Its not easy to let go. I'll learn to be strong*

I kind of understand that sentence from my point of view. Probably this quote can advise him on something...

"All are architects of fate.
So look not mournfully into the past.
It comes not back again."

Hope this helps, and hope he can move on as that sentence explains about what he wants. Correct me if i'm wrong, as that's my own interpretation.

Oh yea, i can't believe the world is like so small, seriously small, i even saw my friends at Party World Shenton way, haha and also my cousin's ex bf. Small small world, and seriously it's always good to have connection. I shan't emphasized on that much, and my ex neighbour can really sing for nuts !!

I'm feeling so poor, yet i've so many things in mind that i wanna plan for. But this time round will be short short trips instead. I must seriously control my spending, just Bangkok trip and Taiwan trip itself i'm expecting total damage of probably at least 2k ? It's kinda scary, yet i've so many things i tht of buying in mind. Gawd~~ i need a rich husband !! Hahaha....


xoxo,
Amanda Chua

LoVe tHe PaSt mEmOriEs...

Guess it's not my 1st time blogging abt past memories that i love. Since i'm free today (as plan got cancelled), i went digging out some of my past collections of pressie n love letters. Reading it makes me able to recall abt the past happy moments i have with them, and it's rather sweet and makes my heart skips a little faster. But well, as i mentioned it's the past, and means it's history.

One thing i regret is, i think i misplaced some cards and letters from my love ones or even from my friends. Hope i can dig out someday somewhere, and i clearly remembered tis big half an A3 size card was like missing, gawd and i remembering seeing it a few months back.

I'm gonna go Ikea some day to buy those big boxes again to keep all my precious memorable items. So the happy memories and items will go with me (if we're shifting house).

*****"Treasure what you have now, not when it's gone.
As life is too short even for us to know."*****

OcCuPiEd...

Getting yourself busy and occupied with lotsa stuff will be the best way to refrain yourself from thinking about other unnecessary stuff. I'm glad that lotsa work (i mean seriously work from my work) is keeping me hell busy, that i practically have no time to think of any unhappy stuff.

After attending the Yoga session, i feel that it doesnt help us relax at all, infact making us strain most of our muscles. Probably it's a diff. kind of Yoga ? I guess so...

Maybe i should go for some Aerobics or maybe kick boxing ? But not for now, too broke to think about it...

I'm getting real excited !! Cause i'm gonna FLY !! I'm going to BANGKOK during April and TAIWAN during May...

BANGKOK - Oh well, many of you might feel that i've been there like so many times, recent one was like Oct ? Haha don't ask why i'm going back there again, i just miss the food and also i'm going with diff. group of frenz this time round. Gonna be exciting... AIR TICKET BOOKED, Awaiting Hotel...

TAIWAN - Oh yea, i love TAIWAN !!! Been there during July, my 1st time there, but i just feel like going back there again, mainly for the FOOD !!! It's so yummy~~licious... And this time round is with another diff. group of frenz, so gonna be super cool too !! And also because of some reasons. AIR TICKET & HOTEL BOOKED.

And and i have to add on that i do not have enough Leave for these 2 trips, but i'll just to find ways to earn my leave... =P

Ok i am jus blogging for fun, no one read though, so yea... Goodbye and Take Care Frenz...

I'll see you when i see you~~~

TuRniNg bAcK tiMeS...

If i could turn back the time, i'll put you 1st in my life~~ And i swear, if you come back into my life, even till the end of time, oh yes i do...

Haha this songs jus linger in my mind for no apparent reason. As each & every single one of us will wish to turn back times for certain things that happened in life. But i strongly believed, once you screw it up, chances of turning back the time or given a chance will be a mere 15% at most ?
If you had asked me on which are the things i regret n wish to turn back the time to amend it, there'll be a few stuff:-

1. To study harder !
2. To treasure all my "ex" friends (which i lost some...)
3. To love this 1 particular person whole heartedly (which there'll nv be a 2nd chance anymore) - which i blame myself so much as i screwed it up.

These are the 3 stuffs which lingers strongly in my mind and heart. I know i'm being rather random, but thats me, shot whatever i want, whatever things that's in my mind.

Sometimes you wont know how much u regret until you really lose something and nv will be able to get it back.

I have doubts, yet i see a dim light of hope, but i can foresee that my heart will be shattered into million pieces once more if i follow this dim light of hope. I'm usually someone who's quite firm on my decision, but why am i hesitating and doubting on certain stuff ? I seriously cant find an answer to it.

Like Saturday was a rather bad day for me, but i'm still able of portray the cheerful side of myself. Like Stef gave us hope, by appearing at the eawards concert, i'm not expecting much from her, therefore when she sang only 1 song, i'm not utterly disappointed.
That's human, therefore don't expect too much in life, as you might experience a greater disappointment.


*** When the night approached, sadness lingers in my mind. When my handphone beep, my heart skips a little faster, hoping that it was you. When i'm in trouble, the first one i think of wasn't you. The feeling of being loved, slowly fades, leaving no rooms for tears. ***

I'm sorry for being so random, jus feels that my mind couldn't think properly...

Take care and stay happy to whoever happened to drop by my blog. Appreciated...

In Love With The Night~~~

I am starting to love the night. Ever since i started working, i've not been hanging out till duper late at night. Recently i've spend quite a few nights out, especially a night at East Coast, heading home feeling tired yet feeling the peacefulness on the road and ofcourse the company of my ipod songs.

The crazy night out, haunting for night romantic place and nice makan-ing areas, supper and some stalking plans. I'm starting to miss all of it. Although some of the events are with 1 old uncle.. ( i treated him like my godfather though).

I'm having rather weird dreams these few nights, and surprisingly i'm seriously enjoying going to work everyday, it's not because i'm totally into the job, just that it's the nice colleagues and company i have. Really really glad and happy to have sucha nice working environment, hopes things will remain as what i'm expecting and hope it can turn out better.

Ok i'm really tired, guess my mind kinda "Hybernating" i seriously dun really know what i'm typing. But I really Love and Treasure all my Dearest who's always there for me and cheering me on.

Loves~~~

It's Eve of CNY !!!

Guess all kids enjoy CNY... Including myself. =P Not only because we can get angbaos, but remembering all parents will refrain kids to drink too much cold water, but CNY will be the only time they wont control us by not allowing us to drink cold drinks and also eat all the new year goodies. Hahha still remembering those old days. But now we're all grown up, especially when all of us are working, collecting of angbaos aint that exciting to us anymore.
But still we would love to get as many angpao still, cause once we're married, we'll only be giving out angbaos instead.
But i rather dislike the CNY schedule this year... cause it refrain us from having more time for visiting. As for people who only plan on overseas trip during CNY, then it's good for them.
Oh well, shant drag on and on... haha shall just spend quality time and try to go for as many visiting as possible, as a respect and special gathering and not for the sake of angbaos ofcourse.

Anyway last week was a rather pack and unbearable week for me. Work was busy, everyone goes on leave, leaving the department real empty, but still we managed to enjoy ourselves with jokes and crap to distress ourselves.
And i really hate quarrels and also unhappiness. But i guess i managed to pull it off quite well and not mixing it to work.

Wednesday was like start of cold war, thursday totally ignore everything. Lastly Friday Mr. Y did some stunning stuff which i least expect he will do.
But what he did actually makes me happy, making me felt kinda touched n also soft hearted. Eventually i forgive him...
I really hope whatever promises made will be a promise. Once he break the promise, i really dont know what i'm gonna do.
Anyways i shall not share the stunning stuff he did. Although most of it are copy righted, but he did pretty well. =)

Alright i shall maybe go get some sleep, didnt have a pretty nice sleep this week. And i'm really totally shagged out and puffy eyes ofcourse. (I dun usually have puffy eyes, unless..... I.....)

Ok i hope this 2009 will be a better year, for myself and also for all my love ones. I really dun want to see my love ones to be heartbroken... i've seen a few and i felt quite sad to see them like that. Hope things will be better, overcome it and everything will be good. Last but not least, whatever happens, there's still me and also those who love you to be supporting you, and be by your side.


~~~WORLD PEACE~~~

1st Post for the New 2009 !!!

First of all, a very later HAPPY NEW YEAR to each and everyone of you.
This came a little late, but its better than none =P

Alright first of all, it's my off day, so i take this chance to update my blog a little, otherwise during weekends i'm usually busy.

Don't expect me to blog any 2009 resolution or stuff, cause i feel that it's just gonna be a better year, taking a small steps at a time and i believe everything will be good.
Like it's a 1st year i'm gonna have my own bike, riding independently on my own, and no longer like always pillion by people.
And it's nice that the "Wish" i made with Mr. T is like coming through. We said that we are gonna have our own bike and ride to others people house for new year visiting, so it's coming through =) Although last year i join the gang to drive car, but this year it's diff.

Infact before we end of our Year 2008, we had a small gathering at Kok's house and we have already fullfill our wish. Hehehe....

Economy really hit everyone hard for now... i'm sure almost everyone is affected... EXCEPT... i don't wanna mention, i don't wanna be SUED or stuff. But let wish for this new 2009 to be a better year for everyone!!! I'm sure the hard times will be over soon, and a little advise for everyone, PLEASE START SAVING !!! I know i've already psycho some frenz to do it, and infact they are really saving up real hard now, so it's good. In this world nothing is more importantly than HEALTH + MONEY... and for me it includes FAMILY as well.

Alright i do have 1 New Year Resolution for 2009 though. I wanna find more time to meet up and attend all the outings my friends organized... Although 3rd quarter of 2008 i'll already tryu to attend lotsa meet up, but its never enough. Cause we meet up with a reason, like Birthday and stuff, i want more meet ups with "Leisure" activities like how it used to be!!!
If we can organized a short getaway, it will be even better!! But all these with saying wont be enough, we must really have a plan and organized it.

Anyways, life's pretty good for me, but i jus realised riding a bike is really cool, but i really jus gotta be EXTRA EXTRA careful as those ASSHOLES DRIVERS on the road is the one causing unexpected things to happen. Maybe i should buy a thicker gloves and learn from Mr. T... Wack their side mirrors down if they attempt to do something funny. Alright i'm jus kidding la... but anyway i would like to curse this Mvp car, i know it's not nice to do so... but hey he nearly knock me down, and when i stop and stare at him, he's afraid and look elsewhere instead.
I forgot the brand and model of the car though.

MVP : SGK 1045 Z ( It's a light baby blue car ), stays at the area opposite Raffles Girl's School...
Whenever i'm around that area, i'll jus try to take notice of his car, cause i would like to know the exact model and brand of the car. Gosh~~~~ Don't mess with me...

Okok, i'm not soundly fierce, but once you provoke me, you're in deep shit. Let me warn you DRIVERS out there.

Though i'm a driver myself, but i jus hate those drivers out there. Probably shld have a compulsory Motorcycle licence for each and everyone that is taking a driving licence. So they will understand how the road hazards and accident occurs. Alright, think i should get going, running out of stuff to blog.

Take Care Everyone, Till Then.....