Spring is in the air, every sight and every sound...

Finally, I can run with no gloves on. At 13 degrees it's a great temperature. The wind is still a bit of a problem, but at least it's not raining, not icy, no snow and it's not -30. Spring is definitely coming. The daffodils are out, the crocuses are finished and I still haven't planted my veg.

How do people do it...?

It's 10.30pm on a Friday night and I have finally sat down. I don't even have the energy to pour myself a glass of wine. The house is still a mess with toys, washing, empty christmas decoration boxes, clothes, school bags, work bags, shoes.....No matter how much I put things away, tidy things up or even just put things in the bin, it never seems to get any better.  I haven't done any shopping so there is precious little to eat. The washing basket is overflowing and all the drying racks are full.  I haven't finished the tasks at work I was supposed to do yesterday and the weekend is looming with a full agenda.

How on earth do other people manage to go climbing, go running, have their hair cut, wash their cars (?!) and see their friends?  I feel that I fly from pillar to post, just about keeping up with what I'm supposed to be doing for everyone else and there is very little time for the things I want to do for myself. I want to go for a run. But the children are asleep and I'm here on my own; it's blowing a hooley out there; and I'm confined to a pretty limited area of street lights even if I could get out. I'd like to go climbing tomorrow; but there are small people's activities and needs to accommodate. It's not even as though I can climb with the children. Well, I could, but frankly they are still a liability on a wall and need watching. And I don't have eyes in the back of my head (even if they think I do...).

I think the root problem is one of priorities, and I've never been good at ordering those. Everything needs doing so everything is priority in my mental pursuit of perfection. The end result is about as far from perfection as it's possible to get, and a spiralling chaos that is apparently relentless ensues.

Airbrushing...

"Don't give your money to any institution that sells you the lie of 'perfection'. They are trying to break you, so you will hate yourself and go out and buy something you don't need, in order to fix something that was never broken in the first place."

Another new year...2018

New year, new me? I doubt it but it's always a time to think about what one might do differently over the coming year. For me, I think it's mostly about starting to move again, eating sensibly, spending less time working and more time playing. Time moves so fast and it's so easy to miss things because you're too busy staring at a screen.  My house won't fall down if I don't clean it. I might trip over something and do myself a mischief if I don't tidy it, but there's still only so much of that worth doing. I should aim to post more here too, for my own benefit not anyone else's.

So far this year has been ok. The weather has been predictably damp and gloomy although we seem to have escaped most of the crazy high winds that have hit the rest of the country (that makes a change - it's usually pretty windy here!). Thing 1 and Thing 2 have been good as gold, work wasn't too bad (although I'm anticipating that will not continue) and the fridge appears to be still reasonably full. The Paw Patrol cupcakes are still there (no surprise - I wonder how long it will take them to become obviously inedible...) and there are toys everywhere. But who am I to stifle the creativity of the very young? Here is the mess which greeted me over breakfast earlier this week:

Our Art Wall has also had a refresh. All the pictures have come down and we will spend this year filling it up again.  Here is the cumulative effort of the last couple of years:

Tonight, I'm struggling to sleep for some reason. I've no idea why. Being woken very early ought to mean I'm shattered by about 8.30 but tonight I am wide awake. Busy brain. Wondering about new year's resolutions. Lots of ideas of things to do, planning time to do them, mulling things over....I think the conclusion is that I need a Tardis if I'm going to tick anything off the list.

One special climbing trip - Part 3

Our sea stack day proved to be the start of some wet weather, so we tootled over to Reiff. But nae luck. We spent a day wandering like lost souls along the enticing cliffs at Reiff. Frustrated, we sat under an impressive roof and watched seals through the binoculars.



They say the best things come to those who wait, so wait we did. We were rewarded with a beautiful still evening and a dry day. We turned up at the Pinnacle Area to face the horror of Blackpool-style crowds! Hoards of climbers, crawling out from under rocks having spent the last 24 hours sheltering from the rain. Such was our determination to have the crag to ourselves, we hiked all the way round the bay to the Minch Wall.

Still here, plodding along

Just keeping in touch, keeping going, trying to arrange time and energy to do something other than manage work/home/work/home.  I did as much of the Ashtanga Primary Series as I could manage at home last week. It was good. Surprisingly good, and I suffered suitably in the following days. I definitely noticed that some things were harder to go back to (for the third time) than last time, presumably because I am now carrying 3 stone extra less frequently.  The three stone can move itself now...!  I still spend too much time sitting at a desk, wondering when I will ever get time to do the things I used to do.  When I'm not at my desk, I love what I do, but I can't help but think wistfully of the life I used to have. It was good, oh so good. But so different.  Really I should jsut get on with it and arrange all the stuff I want to arrange. Where there is a will, there is a way....so they say.  I just haven't found it yet.

Return of the Jedi

Re reading some of my posts from my less responsible days makes me quite nostalgic. I realise how quickly and easily time and events run away with life and one is pm caught up living it that one forgets to take stock, look back, remember and be inspired by what was good and be reminded of what's good now.

I've just read a previous post about a return to yoga after a long break. I've just repeated that return after 5 years and some life changing events. It is comforting and reassuring to read that the process of returning to a strenuous form of exercise was the same then as it is now.  Perhaps I haven't lost as much in the fitness and flexibility stakes as I thought I had. I am however, undoubtedly 5 years older. It's a positive that I am not in denial about that!

My return to yoga was a re baptism of fire. Having done almost nothing one would specifically label as "exercise" since 2011 I went for a power yoga class with KBK. It was full on. She takes no prisoners! While I don't pretend to have managed the whole class without a wobble or even a collapse or two I was pleasantly surprised and very encouraged by how much I did manage.  I can't do these things half heartedly. I have to give it my all. Every so often during those 90 minutes I had to remind myself of the possibility of injury given my lack of practice and my tendency to try too hard. There are bits that hurt and four classes down the line I've realised they aren't going to stop hurting any time soon.

Nevertheless, it's good to be back in the game.

My life these days...

I read something today which said:

Life as an adult is mainly about Googling how to do stuff and feeling tired.

That about sums it up. For today at least.

No climbing for a while now...

It has been a while since I last donned climbing shoes and a harness but it is my full intention to do so again as soon as I can.  Two small ones take up all my time and are both frustrating and adorable, entertaining and exhausting.  Watching them learn to take care of themselves, do very simple things,is fascinating and for now, my needs have to take second place.  The time I give them now will set them up for the rest of their lives.  There is time yet to play the role model on a wall, and that too is something I think is important. For now, let's get outside when we can, when they are long, and not worry too much about loss of fitness and finger strength. I admit people who seem to be a ble to wrap the children up and bundle them along on any climbing trip.  My children are not willing and on four years of disrupted sleep,I don't have the will to persist.

This is just to keep the blog going.i will come back to that too.please blogger don't delete  it!

Diggory, Diggory Delvet

Look who we saw by the River Esk on the outskirts of Musselburgh! Out for a stroll on a fine Sunday evening, and this little fella had his nose in a hole next to the path. He was snuffling about and wiggling his tail, clearly looking for something interesting. He came out of one little hole and went snuffling into the next. As he did so, out of the first hole at breakneck speed came an enormous worm. No kidding, it was 7 inches long and of commensurate girth. And it was legging it.......as much as a legless creature can.

Diggory Delvet then snuffled out of the second hole and right onto the tarmac in front of us. He wasn't moving very fast and of course his tiny eyes meant he couldn't see much, but his little pink nose was twitching nineteen to the dozen. He didn't seem in the slightest bit scared by two giant omnivores standing over him, but sensibly he turned round and snuffled right back towards the exploratory digging he'd done on the side of the path.

Diggory, Diggory Delvet,
Little old man in black velvet.
He digs and he delves,
You can see for yourselves
The holes dug by Diggory Delvet.

from Appley Dapply's Nursery Rhymes, Beatrix Potter