exactly 1 month and 2 days till taiwan trip. i can quite confirm i'm gonna have my period then. sucks. still, i'm very excited. its been half a year since our trip overseas...

i've signed my letter with my present company, no longer a contract staff. got converted to a permanent staf, with a hike in pay and all. they are hiring an accounts assistant to take on my current role while i take over the position of the a/c exec... i hope i can cope. so many stuff i have yet to learn. still, its weekend, i'm leaving the worries till monday when i go into the office.

my weekends are meant to relax at home, sleep till i cant sleep anymore, and maybe play some games. i'm still mapling despite my age:) but then, i got nothing better to do anyway.

9months of cruising around singapore. been to jurong birdpark, singapore zoo, night safari, esplanade, all the town areas, libraries everywhere, exotic dinner dates (fine, only a handful) which includes my first french dinner, romantic walks along singapore river, kallang river(near indoor stadium).

dinner date at le bistrot(french) was quite nice, with a very cozy ambience. the roast garlic soup starter was superb(those who know me must be very surprised, as i hate garlic.) ordered by lime(not me) which i stole a couple of sips. main course was quite alright, except for the tough steak which was due to a budget constrain, ordering a lower grade of steak:( my duck confit was alright, but a little salty. the mashed potatoes were fabulous. dessert was great, if not for my stomach not able to hold all my creme brulee. lime enjoyed her royal dark chocolate set, which consist of 2 macarons, a puff with dark choc ice cream, and a self mixed dark hot chocolate. dark choc overload:)

:( feelin sad for al and jw... 5 years of relationship gone for a beer gal known only for a few months. and that beer gal is attached to another person some more. really feel bad for al. but... never did like jw anyway. i think she deserves someone better. not this bastard. even though she is evil towards her bf and all, still, she's a sweet girl whose humour is so much larger than her frame. she can be mean (calling me xiaoben) but still, we all know she's kidding, and she did try to teach me economics last time...

oh, and i never did tell her that the jw got sacked from 1nitestand last time due theft. he tried to sell a bottle of wine and not passing the money to the cashier and keeping it in his pocket instead. i wonder why am i keeping my promise to this little bastard. no matter. he does not matter at all.


there is no happily-ever-after for people like me, just like ah kai once told me, said by andrew. not a lesson that i wanna remember, and i'm still hoping, but i guess i should take note of this fact?!? i must remember........

its been 5 months of day job... waking up in the morning sucks big time. feels like i'm forever not free, cant go out till too late if not will zombie in the office. had sch for 3 nights a week, nearly killed myself with the exhausting schedule...

so anyway, my contract ends next month, and i just got evaluated by my manager... he is proposing to the HR to sign me on as a permanent staff (accounts executive somemore! rather than accounts assistant) =.= i'm still quite noob in this job, and i seriously hope i can cope. given the fact that i'm always half asleep in the mornings, its kinda hard to concentrate to learn new stuff. my daily cashflow projection is killing me. (i even save the WIP on my desktop folder under the name headache...) the cashflow thing is not part of my AR job scope, just something extra, since i am going to leave AR and take on the monthly closing, reconciliation duties.

actually, ignore the above paragraph... too technical. so i shall summarize: i'm probably going to convert to permanent staff, get a pay raise cum promotion, plus more white hair(due to more stress?)

i dunno which one i hate more. studying, or working. why am i forever juggling the two? all i want is to lead a simple sweet life with YOU! i hope that day is not too far away, and that apocalypse comes only after that.

i feel terrible. i am horrible.

i tried. i really did. i did study, although i hate to admit that. sometimes, my effort just aint enough. the paper yesterday, i was actually quite confident of passing it. until the fever hit me, and i was paralysed for a day. brain dead. it was quite a blow to me.

and the paper i'm supposed to sit for next tues, i registered for the int instead of the sgp paper. which was why i had to rush home just now to dig out the int exam kit, examine it. there are some major differences in the FRS. so i wanted to use that to study instead of the notes i had, which i suspect is based on the singapore paper. I'm so sorry. it wasn't that i didn't want to study at your house. it was just, i din have the right material. and i was panicking, but din wanna let it show. i'm in a mess now and i din want you to see me like that. so escape i did. dun get the wrong idea. i still love you and all, but i just cant feel good, seeing your expectation of me, hopes for me and i jolly well know that i cant meet it. its like a deadweight on my heart and i cant focus on anything. i need a miracle now.

next tues, freedom. for a while anyway.