slammed the car door on my right hand pinkie (having trouble typing the letter p now)
felt so dumb. and it hurts like a biatch. swollen and stiff... the nail is now dark blue (blue black) due to the clotted blood underneath. they say the nail may take more than a year to recover. the finger is a whole bruise and i can barely open and close my hand. the pinkie is stiff and cant open completely...

my finger is hindering my work seriously. how to make drinks when every bottle i take in my hand brushes against my pinkie and shoots a jab of pain into my brain. its a miracle i have not dropped all the bottles i have handled.

anyway. bashing time! i hate the management level at my workplace. appraisal, a yearly thing, to tell you bout how u have fared in the past year, was not good. in fact, i would say it was infuriating. still goddamned pissed when i think about it. the first half of the year i was good and all, doing my best for the company, and i did not get anything. in fact, it took me such a long while to get promoted to bartender 1 that i gave up. i just did my minimum job and did not look forward to anymore promotion. now during the appraisal, they said i have not done anything extra, they cannot see my effort. isnt that just proving my point that no matter what i did, they wouldnt see it? sheesh. not to mention the fact that they are so biased. nowadays, people can already get promoted to bartender 1 within half a year, while i took a full year. i dun see me as anywhere inferior. especially when i was a bartender 2. back then i was so enthusiastic and hardworking. what did i get? ditto. nothing. now why should i give my all for the company again? for the promotion i know i will never get?

in my opinion, i did my job. i cant help it if it wasnt enough for them. they simply do not want to see my effort. and i'm not the only one who finds the management unfair... speaking of which, i've got to print a resignation letter for my colleague... hm.

citibank

ooo... i got my citibank clear card! credit limit is $500... lotsa discount everywhere.

thing is, how do i pay my bills when i charge to that card? trying to find that out... and shall not use the card until i know how to pay my bills. back to sufing to find out how to pay my bill. ciao.

damn. but i really need to stop getting so worked up over work. its so not healthy. increase the chances of me getting high blood pressure and heart attack.

but the thing is, when there's a supermodel in the bar, stoning and posing, or a extremely lost person who keeps doing things wrong, it so hard to keep your cool!!! and the thing is sometimes the captain is not aware of what they are doing, or he simply cant be bothered. these past two weeks my senior is working at another bar, so its just me and my captain. and even if the senior is around, he doesnt give a shit. he seldom scolds the part timers. maybe i should just adopt his attitude and stop giving shit bout such little stuff. i'm not a senior, nor a captain.

speaking of which, i feel like a total loser. people got their promotion merely after 5 months of working. when i started working full time, i was so damn hard working. and it still took me a year to get promoted! and the time it took totally killed my drive to be hardworking. i have slacken off since, and there goes my chance of getting promoted to senior. me being in the condemned squad doesnt help. the management does not like me... i bet when i leave the organisation when i graduate next year i will still be a meagre bartender 1.

whatever. expected... even though it hurts like hell:(

shall blog soon...
i'm just busy.
just wanna sleep and sleep.
nitezzz