=(

i am extremely confounded... sophia suddenly started crying and for the life of me, i couldnt figure out what was wrong. didn't even know how to make her feel better. feel like a god damned failure. was it because i was hesitant to wash her plate for her? (even though i did not eat, maybe i should have just washed her plates willingly) but dammit. what the fuck did i do wrong? why what where how when? fuck it. someone enlighten me. please.

foul is my mood

first of all, big thanks to sophia for making such a wonderful blog for me... i'm nowhere as hardworking to make such a nice blog...

and secondly, thanks but no thanks for making me wait for you just now. i know for some reason its a fabulous wonder that your mom's labtop can surf the internet in my room (due to my wireless router). still i dun think there was a need to make me wait for almost 2hours... in my own room. while you were busy tinkering with that machine. i had to resort to playing maple and typo shark together... in the end i gave up waiting and went to bathe. if not my mom would be up and i probably would not have bathed... cant believe she would prefer a god damned machine over me. i feel so treasured.

Layer 1: On the Outside
Name: dont know my name you can jump off the building.
Birth date: if you're not buying me a present, forget it.
Current status: attached.
Eye colour: brown
Hair colour: brown

Layer 2: On the Inside
My heritage: what's heritage?
My fear: no money!
My weakness: no money!
My perfect pizza: free pizza whenever i feel like eating. (and not spicy please)

Layer 3: Yesterday, Today, Tomorrow
My first thought of waking up: i still wanna sleep.
My bed time: when i feel like it.
My most missed memories: when i dont understand shit.

Layer 4: My pick
Pepsi or Coke: Pepsi.
McDonalds or BurgerKing: Burgerking.
Single or group dates: Single.
Adidas or Nike: Nike.
Tea or Nestea: No-tea.
Chocolate or vanilla: Choc.
Cappuccino or Coffee: Cappuccino.

Layer 5: Do you...
Smoke: No
Curse: Yes
Take a shower: Yes
Have a crush: No
Go to school: No
Want to get married: No
Believe in yourself: No
Think you're a health freak: No

Layer 6: In the past
Drink alcohol: Yes
Gone to the mall: Yes
Been on stage: Yes
Eaten sushi: Yes
Dyed your hair: Yes

Layer 7: Have you ever...
Played a stripping game: Nope
Changed who you are to fit in: Maybe

Layer 8: Are you hoping to...
Get married: refer to layer 5!

Layer 9: In a guy
Best Eye colour: N.A
Best Hair colour: NIL
Short or long hair: NIL

Layer 10: What were you doing
A minute ago: This survey.
An hour ago: Sleeping
Four and a half hour ago: Sleeping
Month ago: _l_ (meaning how i know lah. fuck you.)
Year ago: _l_

Layer 11: Finish the sentences
I love: Sophia
I hate: Dumb people!
I hide: My $
I miss: My dumb 2 year old life.
I need: $

Layer 12: Tag 5 people
Sophia, Shi ting, Al, Ching and ME!

i bet

i bet i am the first to complain about my bar captain... he is a easy to work with guy, flexible with staff and all, but he is first and foremost, a male chauvinistic damn indian, forever cracking sexist jokes in front of me...

whenever a butch shows up in front of our bar, he would go "ay, ur sister" ... he infuriates me... yet when indian customers are being their usual self, asking for 3 ice cubes, when i tell my
captain "ay, why your brother so troublesome?" he gets irritated... he wants to be a sexist, i'll be a racist... haha

so anyway, on friday, i had a headache, and he gave me a paperjob, filling in the custom book... but what he said irritated me... i heard him said something like "priviledge of being a woman" something in me exploded... i was hot. burning with anger... so i questioned him what he meant by that and all, he tried to appease me in his usual indian shake head style. but the damage was done... when i finished filling in the god damned book, while they were carrying ice, i went to the office to take a piece of blank paper and began writing a letter of complaint addressed to manager and supervisor...

worthless manager told me he would try to resolve the problem by saturday but as i already predicted, he did not... nevermind. i shall press him again, when i remember... and seeing how my captain did not dare talk to me much yesterday, i bet the supervisors have already informed him of my letter. so despite all my warnings, it had to take a letter to the higher-ups to shut him up... too late. ha.

sick

i wonder how many times i've been sick this year... seems like i'm pretty weak this year...

took mc on wed and thurs, was still sick on friday and saturday... had headache and sorethroat on friday, on saturday my sorethroat was still there and instead of a headache, i was giddy... imagine working in a bar where the music is loud, lights are flashing and u feel giddy...it was torturous... and i was friggin cold too!!!

i think i need to go see some more doctor... shall go on tues probably... monday with 3 staff working its abit evil to take an mc.... argh... my head is half pain half giddy now... sighz.

appetite... the lack of it...

seems like nowadays my appetite is no longer what it used to be... sure i do get hungry, but i just cant seem to eat as much as before... had pizza yesterday, was really full after juz abit more than 3 pieces, plus a bowl of soup... i remember eating around 4 in the past... and today, had ajisen ramen... 1 bowl plus a side, i couldnt even finish the ice lemon tea... and i was bloated until 2 in the morning, when i finally felt hungry again... and i ate the ramen at 5pm!!!

i guess i shall try to remember that i cannot eat as much as i used to, seeing how the feeling of bloatiness sucks... i think my stomach has shrunk ever since i lost weight... shall control my eating so that i do not gain back the weight that i've lost... the feeling of breaking my record weight of 60kg since age 14 is extremely good.

pretty excited... finally applied for a uob account, a campus one with minimum startup of $100 and no minimum amount in the account each month... unlike my posb savings account, i need at least $500 in my account or they will deduct a fee each month. shall use my posb for my instalments and insurance... and uob for other expenditures... ^.^

another piece of information that makes my day =) i'm going genting in september... despite the worry that i may not have enough money seeing that i only have 1 month left to save up, i'm still excited... afterall, its my first time going abroad with a friend... its just going to be sophia and me... i hope i do not bore her... hm...