Probably my favorite picture of the day, depicted here as the card I'd love to send out!

I finally put together a group of photos for a Christmas card that just might make it out in time...then I used up all the ink that I just replaced 2 days ago printing just 20 cards.

smoke is billowing out of my ears.

the end.

why you won't be receiving a christmas card from us

exhibits A,B,C,D, and E

any questions?

7 days and counting...

can I make it?

Man, I hope so...

Proof that time flies, even when you aren't having any fun...

Wow, December 11th already!

December came in with...well...barf.  Yuck.  Ty came home from school last Friday {12-2} with a tummy ache and was puking a few hours later...every 5-10 min...for at least 2 hours.  He also ran a fever and had other "digestive issues" {trying not to gross people out} and was pretty under the weather for the whole weekend.  I kept him home Monday, just for good measure, and then he went and puked again.  Thank God for my parents.  When I say I kept him home, I really mean that they kept him home...he went back to school this past Thursday.

Now Eden is sick.  She got a fever this past Friday but waited until this morning to vomit.  I thought she was a one timer because she went all day without getting sick again, but then right before dinner it happened again.  Oh, and did I mention Chris is running a temp.  Joy to the world!

I'm waiting for Colin to fall.  Or me, for that matter.  Please God, just let it all be over by Christmas!

All this is putting quite a damper on the old holiday preparations.  I figure one day...one day...I'll figure all this holiday junk out!  Turns out you cannot just put Christmas on hold until after Thanksgiving if you want everything to go smoothly.  sigh.  The kids are harassing me because EVERYONE else already has presents under the tree.  I did manage to get four, yes four, batches of white cookie dough mixed up...just no filling for the date fills yet.  Good grief...who wants to bake when barfing is taking place?  I was going to take neighbors cookies this year...maybe I should scratch that! :)  I'm also hoping that I'll have time to try out (1). spiced nuts and (2). cinnamon rolls for Christmas morning.  My Aunt Nancy used to send us a tin of spiced nuts every year at Christmas-time...man I wish I had that recipe now!  They were so good!  I clipped one from a magazine a few years ago, but definitely not as yummy.  I really think I'm going to start giving food as gifts.  That's a tradition that needs to be revived.  Nothing says "love" more that homemade goodies at Christmas.  Goal for next year.  The cinnamon rolls are PW's recipe.  They look delish!  I think Chris and me, working together, could make cinnamon rolls a Christmas morning tradition!  And good news!...it makes a ton...more homemade goodies gifts!

I should have titled this post "random".  Sorry.  I guess I had a lot to say!  I miss posting!

One more thing...I got a new camera {yay!} and hopefully I'll be getting some good pics soon.  All this illness is really screwing up the Christmas card pics...{should have taken them in November!}

Keep checking in...I'm really hoping to get back soon!

Thanksgiving 2011

I'm happy to report that our Thanksgiving was a total and utter success!  With the exception of my creamy mashed potatoes {recipe by PW} which did not reheat in 30 minutes and had to be microwaved!  

Boo!  Nothing that a large glass of white wine, delivered by my big sis, couldn't cure...

preset table awaiting the guests and food!

lively dinner conversation...

two thanksgiving must-haves:
Michael and wine!  {why is Karen hiding her face?}

I have no pictures of the children or their table.  Bad me!  I never did get the kid's table decorations completed.  Sometimes something has to be scratched, and this year it was that...oh well...on the bright side, I have more than half of it ready for next year :)!


I thought I'd also share what my family was/is thankful for this year...our Thankful Tree was a big success as well...we all loved it {some more that others} and it will become an annual tradition!

Chris is thankful for:
my children,
health,
the Mother of my three, wonderful children, and
toilet paper {written on a piece of toilet paper because my husband is nothing, if not goofy!}

I'm thankful for:
a husband who's not above running the vacuum,
a night out with Chris,
Fridays,
my job and my boss,
family and friends,
Colin & Ty and their hard work and great behavior at school,
buttered popcorn...yum!,
my beautiful family, and
coffee {let's not forget that!}

Colin is thankful for:
my house, my toys, and my family,
video games and T.V.,
matter, water, and air {that still kills me},
school and friends,
a amazing Mom! (and Dad?) {that's how he wrote it...},
buttered popcorn...yum! {copy cat #1},
not thinking, {?} and
mice, rats, and raccoons and all the other things that could get in the house.  {that is written by an 8-year-old, who was trying to get a rise out of his Mother, because his Mother was freaking out about a mouse intruder.  R.I.P. mouse...}

Ty is thankful for:  {hang on to your hats!... this boy is thankful!}
Mom buying clothes, Mom buying stuff for the house,
light, Jesus, God and Gigi and Dad Dad,
paper,
health,
my Eden, my bed, and my brother,
Me, my shoes, and my art stuff,
the scissors, the crayons, and the shirts,
my food, my room, the table,
the place mat, the water,
breakfast,
school, like not {being sarcastic?},
mice {also trying to get a rise out of his mother},
pens,
buttered popcorn...yum! {copy cat #2},
my Mom, my house, my toys, my Dad, and
my friends and "buck-truck-doeing" {for those of you not familiar with "buck-truck-doeing", that's when
we all pile into Chris' truck and go deer-spotting as a family...big excitement!}

Eden was thankful too...with lots of little scribbles on her two, very-own tags.  She really wanted to join in the thanksgiving fun!

And now, the Christmas train has left the station...let's get the festivities going...off to decorate the tree!

the thankful tree, the kids table, and Target

I first saw the Thankful tree here.  I loved the idea and planned, right then, to copy it.  About a month ago the boys went on a stick hunt in our yard for perfect Thankful Tree branches {and also for our kid's table decorations}.  They found the most perfect branches!  I stuck them into my inherited Ball jar {thanks Grandma Jean...miss you!} and our Thankful Tree was born!

I couldn't wait to blog about the tree...it's such a great idea!  But, as usual, I was more than a little behind blogging schedule and then this post happened over at Jones Design...urg!  It's ok, because it's still a great idea and she was offering free printable tags to use on the tree {BONUS}!

And here she is:

our Thankful Tree

Ty's really thankful!  He's filled out many, many cards! :)

well...he has a point...where would we be without those
three things? :)

Chris

Love it so much!  

This is the next project....

from Parents.com.  This is what I'm hoping our kid's table will look like on Thanksgiving.  The boys collected sticks and, the other night, we painted them.  Hopefully I can keep moving along with this project and not stall out which seems to happen more than I care to admit!

painting sticks...well they were...they got side-tracked into painting pictures...

This is a long post...sheesh!  

Let's talk about Target.  I L.O.V.E. Target.  I shop there a lot!  We buy most of our groceries there.  They always offer me the Target REDcard and I always say no.  Yes I'd love to save 5% on all my purchases, and yes, I'd love for 1% of all my purchases to be donated to the K-12 school of my choice, but no, I do not want a credit card for Target...I don't particularly care for credit cards and I'm not sure that I have enough self- control at Target anyway :)!  

A few weeks ago, while checking out, they offered me a {wait for it} REDcard DEBIT card!  Yes, a debit card.  It links right to your checking account, you save 5% on all your purchases and you can designate the K-12 school of your choice to receive 1% of your annual purchases.  I said yes to that.  Let me tell you, 5% off of all my purchases at Target will be huge savings annually, and 1% of my purchases will give our elementary school way more money than the few box tops I clip.  It's a "good thing" {oh, Martha} that I wanted to share with you all.

I'm finished!  :)

Mayflower handprints

I found this cute idea on Pinterest {surprise, surprise} and I thought it was so cute and something different than the typical turkey hand print.

obviously Colin's :)

Ty's Mayflower is sailing through some rough weather...

Eden's Mayflower isn't sailing yet...

Happy DNF Day, as my Brother-in-law likes to call it {that's "darn near Friday" for those of you who, like me, couldn't figure it out...}

This month, so far,  has been a little bit crazy and it has me {once again} remembering how fleeting this time in my life is.  We're a full week into November and 2 weeks from Thanksgiving...hard to believe.

Being thankful is a mindful thing and, I believe, takes practice.  It's honestly part of my everyday self-talk to remind myself to count the blessings in my life.  I hear myself grumbling and in the back of my mind my small, personal Jiminy Cricket is whispering..."remember...you have a lot to be thankful for".  And, of course, I do.  I suppose that some people don't have that voice...I'm thankful that I do...only I'm still working on that voice becoming louder and louder so that it's bouncing around in there taking up all the room so that the grumbles are only a whisper.

So, I haven't been as productive as I'd hoped.  Things I wanted to accomplish haven't been.  I've wasted some time being upset about it, but then decided to mindfully embrace where I am.  I have 3 small children who need attention, time, and a Mom who can "go with the flow".  Right now homework, practicing reading and math, having a healthy dinner to eat,  and getting to bed on time is the priority.  And as we Moms know, that's no easy task...

And all this talk of Thanksgiving has made a difference for the kids.  Colin, completely on his own, started listing the things he was grateful for the other night while I was tucking them in...which then prompted Ty to do the same.  And, Ty got in the car yesterday and said "Mrs. Filkins is already talking all about Christmas!  We're the only ones who care about Thanksgiving...everyone else just wants to skip the holiday."

It makes me so proud of them...and for that I am thankful!



*tomorrow I'll post their Mayflower pictures we worked on this weekend...

thankful |ˈθa ng kfəl|

adjectivepleased and relieved : [with clause ] they were thankful that the war was finally over | [with infinitive ] I was very thankful to be alive.
• expressing gratitude and relief : an earnest and thankful prayer.
____________________________________________________________________________
I struggled today.

Here I am pledging to bring back Thanksgiving...to place our focus on being thankful...to inspire others to do the same...and I'm tellin' you, today was no bueno.


{Ah Ha}  But, there is beauty in being able to embrace, and be thankful for, our shortcomings.  Knowing that you were short tempered, and realizing that it's something you could stand to work on, is something to be thankful for.  We all know people who seem to be unaware of their imperfections...

So, I searched...I dug...I read through books.  I tried desperately to be inspired so that I could write something about being thankful to inspire the masses {i.e. you...my small handful of readers}, but still nothing.

And so this is what I say...some days are just like that.  I'll try again tomorrow.  I'm sure you'll tune in because you found this exhilarating.  { :) }

And, I did think of some things to be thankful for today:

chili to warm my bones {we had sleet today}

Colin's sense of humor

Ty's honesty

Eden's little arms wrapped around my neck in a tiny hug

having something to look forward to

{I do have some fun Thanksgiving projects to do with the kids...hopefully I'll have some pics to share after this weekend}

There are strict orders in place in our home this month.

November 1, 2011...today I start my "Bring Thanksgiving Back" campaign!  We are giving this holiday the respect and attention it deserves in this house, and hopefully inspiring others to do the same.

I have a hard enough time trying to teach my children the difference between a want and a need without every retail operation in the world trying to cram their version of Christmas down their throats in mid-October!  They're children for heavens sake!  They already come pre-programed with the "gimmes"...this is not something we need to train them!  Let's spend some time in November talking about what we're thankful for and how lucky we are and place our focus there...that way when December 1st hits they will {hopefully} have some balance to carry them through the season.

I am not a scrooge...I appreciate the magic of Christmas and the excitement it brings!  Trust me, I know the days are numbered.  I just listen and then quickly remind them that we have my favorite holiday to celebrate first and encourage them to keep a wish list to remind them of the things that they want.

We are having Thanksgiving at our house this year and I'm excited to involve the kids in planning the day. And, hopefully, instilling in them the importance of giving thanks!  Will you join me?  Let's take back the month of November!  Bring back Thanksgiving!

Happy Halloween!

Love is everywhere.

Can you see it?

Have you read this book?  If not, check it out...

Last November my Mom and I had a great opportunity to spend some time with my nieces and nephew while their parents wisked away to New York for their 10 year wedding anniversary.

We had the best time making our own Leaf Man creations.  Lilly, Jack, and Eva are lucky enough to live in a wonderful old neighborhood with lots and lots of old trees...giving us lots and lots to work with!

Lillian being creative

Lillian's Leaf Turkey {isn't that SO COOL?}

Jack's super-cute Leaf Boy

We had so much fun doing this great project...I wish I would have gotten more pictures.   It was a perfect fall afternoon activity and the only thing that would have made it even better would have been if my kids would have been there creating with their cousins {I have yet to do this with them}.

I believe it needs to be an annual tradition...

My creations...Leaf Owl and my own Leaf Man

{miss you and love you nieces and nephew! :) I had so much fun doing this with you last year!!}

We've been enjoying some super, awesome fall weather here.  The kids had an impromptu picnic out back this past Sunday while Chris and I were working.  We {and by we, I mean Chris} were painting the block on our house and cleaning things out...

Not wild about our {and by our, I mean my} choice of paint color.  I'm super impressed with anyone who can choose a color based off of a sample the size of a matchbook...I am no good at it!

 It certainly doesn't look bad in this picture, and it's certainly better than the red it was {see here}...

But, I'm not feeling it...especially from the front where you see a lot more of the roof...the shingles and the paint do not jive!  I will be visiting Lowes to see if they can mess with the color a bit...it needs a lot more grey added too it to make it work.

Keep your fingers crossed for us...

I found this note in my mailbox on Friday...

And on the inside:

                           "from ty     to mom 

                                 and eden

                                 it

                                   is

                                fun

                                   to 

                                 have

                               you 

                                  to

                                       play with"

in case you were wondering....

this face

is my personal kryptonite.

an interview with Colin and Ty

1.   What is something that Mom always says to you?
       Colin : that you love me.
        Ty : i love you.

2.   What makes Mom happy?
       Colin : oreos with the pink wrappering.  {that would be double stuffs.  yes, I'm ashamed.}
        Ty : following directions.

3.   What makes Mom sad?
      Colin : when me and Ty and Dad don't listen.
       Ty : when we don't follow directions.

4.   How does Mom make you laugh?
      Colin : when you tickle me and say funny things.
       Ty : when you make funny faces.

5.  What was Mom like as a child?
      Colin : spoiled little brat. {clearly he's been talking to my sister, Karen...}
       Ty : blue eyes, kinda short hair, smaller...I think that's it.

6.  How old is Mom?
      Colin : 39?
      Ty : 34. {he's my favorite.}

7.   How tall is Mom?
      Colin : 6'5.  {hahahaha}
      Ty : 70 inches.

8.  What is Mom's favorite thing to do?  
      Colin : spend time with family and not work.
      Ty : sit on the couch and relax.

9.   What does Mom do when you're not around? 
       Colin : deals with Ty and Eden.
        Ty : spends time by yourself.

10.  If Mom becomes famous, what will it be for?   
       Colin : being organized.
        Ty : the best food.

11.  What is Mom really good at?
        Colin : being organized.
         Ty : doing the laundry.

12.  What is Mom not very good at? 
        Colin : math.
         Ty : nothing. {told you... favorite :)}

13.  What does Mom do for her job? 
        Colin : dental assistant.
         Ty : work hard.

14.   What is Mom's favorite food? 
         Colin : Vito sandwich from Jimmy Johns.  {more like oreos in the pink wrappering...}
          Ty : chocolate.

15.   What makes you proud of Mom? 
         Colin : when she's organized.
          Ty : you're a good mother.

16.   If Mom were a cartoon character, who would she be?  
        Colin : Tom in Tom and Jerry  {what? I'm kind of shocked it wasn't Cinderella...or Jessica Rabbit}
        Ty : Dumbo's mom.

17.  What do you and Mom do together?
        Colin : have fun.
         Ty : play a game or read a book.

18.  How are you and Mom the same?
       Colin : we like the same things, like at Jimmy Johns we like the same sandwich.
        Ty : we both have blue eyes.

19.  How are you and Mom different?  
       Colin : you're bigger and I'm smaller.
        Ty : you're a girl and I'm a boy.

20.  How do you know Mom loves you?  
       Colin : Because she does things for me and she doesn't kick me out of the house.
        Ty : 'cause I'm a sweet boy.

21.  Where is Mom's favorite place to go?
        Colin : shopping.
        Ty : Gigi and Dad-dad's house.

*credit where credit is due....idea from this blog.

**I love all my children with all my heart!  They're all my favorites! :)

sigh...

"The days are long, but the years are short."

{* if I had Colin's baby pictures or Ty's baby baby pictures on the computer I'd probably need prozac...}

How I'm feeling this Friday...

Blessed.

Yes, I said blessed.  Are you surprised given my last post?  Oh ye of little faith...do you think so poorly of me?

Well, according to my father,  I should keep those feelings to myself.   My mom thinks I should be more positive with my thoughts.  My sister thinks I over-reacted to the Clover Lane post...I agree, with most of it.

{gasp!!!}

But here's the thing...in my world there is very little room for fake.  It might make people uncomfortable to read a post in which I ballyhoo...but it's real.  It's what I'm feeling, and I need to express it.

Life isn't always pretty.  It isn't always full of rainbows and glitter.  People have unpleasant thoughts all the time...don't they?...I mean, I cannot be the only one.  I know I'm not.  Here's the beauty, I think, in sharing these moments...it means we're human.  It means we're not perfect.  It means we're not alone.  Blog land is full of bloggers who only post the beautiful pictures of their homes, their kids, their marriages...it's a facade.  Real life isn't perfect.  Where the real beauty lies {again, in my opinion} is in seeing things as they are...the whole truth...the ugly, the beautiful, the not quite perfect, whatever...and appreciating it as life.  Growing through it...working through it...making the best of it.  I think more people can relate to that than the glitter and rainbows.

So, I'm feeling blessed.  My life is real.  I'm ok with that.  I can look at my problems, I can even feel sorry for myself, and I can still recognize how blessed my life truly is... in spite of all the things that I wish were different.

And, I'm proud of myself for that...

Have a super weekend!  Thanks for stopping by!  I'm off to scrub toilets :)...

proceed with caution... {just a bit of bellyachin'}

Busy weekend.

Thursday night Homecoming parade.  Friday night Homecoming game...we won...go cards!  Saturday morning Third grade football...we lost...but not by much.  Saturday afternoon cub scout family camp out...one word...brrrr!...but fun anyway!

It's been a whirlwind of a weekend.  Work tomorrow.  Loads of laundry.  Need to grocery shop.

My life.

This feeling of constant running...not enough time to finish what needs to get done...this is what has me questioning, wondering...soul searching.

I don't even know how to express myself.  My thoughts are swirling around in my brain...I don't want to complain but...well, I am.

I love my job.  I really do.  I love to visit with people, I love to care for people.  I love my boss.  I'm so blessed to work for a man who understands the demands that working mothers deal with.  If my kids are sick, if the weather is bad, if the kids have programs or field trips...no problem...I can take the time.  I know that is rare...I appreciate it, I do.

But.

If I think back...way back...what I've always wanted to be is a Mom.  It's where my passion is...caring for my family...organizing our lives...creating a home for them.  And, I cannot do it all.  Even with Fridays off.  I know...how ridiculous...I have a three day weekend and it's not enough.  Do you detect my sarcasm?  While I recognize how blessed I am, caring for a family is a full-time job...at least at the level that I would like to do it.  Having a home life that is scattered, hairy, stressful...it is not what I aspire to.  To be the Mother and wife I want to be takes work...it could be my full-time job.  So, a few Fridays ago, after dropping the boys at school, Eden and I came home to clean bathrooms and do some laundry.  I also stripped the boys sheets and put on fresh ones.  That is the extent of what I got done on Friday.  I still had to finish laundry, clean the rest of the house, pay bills, meal plan,  grocery shop...

Our entire weekends are chewed up with work...that is if  I care for our lives to run smoothly the rest of the week.  If I want to provide the kind of home life that I want for my children and husband...which I do.  And then when our schedule is like this past weekend, forget it, none of it gets done.  So it's all work or all "play"...why can't I ever get it all done?

So for weeks I've been in this funk of sorts.  Mad at myself for not being able to do it all, but at the same time telling myself I'm crazy to think I could.  Then the guilt...that I'm not being a good enough, reliable enough employee.  That I'm so stressed from running that I don't have the patience I should with my children or the time for my husband.  Ugh...this could go on and on...

Then I read this post from Clover Lane and it got my undies in a big bunch!  I had been forewarned by my BFF so I wasn't completely caught off guard but it just...I don't know...rubbed me wrong.  I work so hard to do the best job as a mother in spite of having to work outside of the home.  I want so badly to be home.  Then I'm feeling so judged by someone who is lucky enough to be able to stay at home.  I know that Sarah from Clover Lane probably wasn't directing her statements towards moms like me, but...it still stung.

Every family is different.  Every situation is different.  I have it a lot better than a lot of other working Moms...some have it better than me.  Some stay at homes waste their opportunity...some do it just the way I wish I could, then judge me.  Whatever.

I've decided to view my situation as blessed.  I'm lucky to have a wonderful boss, and a career caring for some really wonderful patients.  I'm lucky to be able to work part-timish and that I have parents to help me with child-care.  I'm lucky to have a hands-on husband who helps out quite a bit.  I'm lucky to have children who are sweet and beautiful, kind and smart, who can read between the crazy {I hope} and know how much their mother loves them...always.

My big, blank wall in the kitchen...

      ...isn't blank anymore thanks to an impromptu trip to the Brass Armadillo with Sarah this summer!  {ah, good times....miss you Sarah!}

It still needs a little tweaking {some hooks added to the bottom of the shelf} but it's definitely an improvement to the big, blank wall!

I also got my wall pockets hung...finally...and "operation after- school -paper- overload" is in full force!  The system seems to be kid friendly....and {more importantly} boy friendly...thank goodness!

So, some progress is still happening, which is encouraging considering how I've been feeling lately...

Seven years ago today we lost my father-in-law in a terrible accident.

For the years that I was lucky enough to know him I rarely saw him without a smile on his face.  He was someone who I always enjoyed being around.  He enjoyed spending time with his family...he was in fact the glue that held us all together.  And once grand kids came along, well,  he couldn't get enough of them.  He was best at being Papa.  It was rare for him not to stop by once a week, if not more.  He was a definite regular in our lives.

Seven years.  It seems almost impossible to have survived this long without him.  And yet he is the reason that we can.  He wouldn't have allowed us to wallow in our sorrow...and so we don't.  We carry a piece of him always in our hearts, he's still a regular there.

In Loving Memory

Steven F. 

4-22-1953 - 9-16-2004


                                                                                                                                                               
Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.
Matthew 5:4

Have you missed me?

woosh... 2 1/2 weeks fly by in the blink of an eye!

I'm here with a quick post of some things I've thought about, heard, experienced, and dealt with over my unscheduled, unintended, accidental 2 1/2 week hiatus...

Favorite Quote:
"Mom, I like how Eden is made."
                                              - Ty
Most Grateful For:
My Husband.  Having him gone twice a week in the evenings for a couple of hours really forces me {jk} to appreciate how much of a help he is to me when he is here.  I honestly don't know how women whose husbands work late or travel a lot do it {hats off to you, Kain and Sarah!}  I'm sure if it were my normal I'd learn to cope...and maybe even be good at it...but thank goodness we don't have to find out!

Biggest Lesson Learned:
"Don't put off to tomorrow what you could do today."
Duh.  Why don't I ever learn?  When I have extra time on a lunch hour and don't utilize it I may as well be inviting mental stress over for a big, fat cup of tea.

Ty's holey jeans + colder than normal temps in the forecast + not utilizing my extra time on Monday + Ty's fever on Tues. = no chance to shop for new jeans before Ty returns to school in colder weather so he has to look like a 5 yr. old hillbilly {i.e. mental stress}

Most Disappointed in {besides obviously myself...see above}:
ok...this is a toss up...kinda...
1. Colin's football coach.  Not his Dad.  I will hold my tongue for now and see how things go.  But, you may hear more on this subject...

2. Iowa State beat Iowa.  Boo.

What's Weighing On My Heart:
Trying to balance being the Mom and wife I want to be while working and trying to maintain an organized home-life.  That's a whole other post for another day.

Newest Obsession:
Pinterest. {ugh!  I'm addicted!}  Thanks, Alison...

Here we are two weeks into school and my last post was from the first day of school!  Oh well...tis my life right now.

Below is why I have not been able to post.

It is true...Colin has started football.  Good Lord...these days everything must be rushed.   I'm less than thrilled about this whole football thing...but I'm pretty sure I'm the only one feeling that way...

Colin is excited, Ty is jealous {"it's no fair that Colin gets to play football and I don't!"}, and Chris is acting cool but I can tell he's super pumped about it.  Practices are 3...T.H.R.E.E....times a week until the first game on September 11th.  Oh, and they run from 6-7:30pm.  And did I mention that Chris is helping to coach and that means he has to be there at 5:30?  

Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.  It stinks.  Last week Chris and Colin ate dinner at 8:30.  I mean, really...is this necessary in the third grade? 

What do I know?

I'll tell you what I know.  I know that when you get this look at 18 months old...

...it spells trouble...T.R.O.U.B.L.E.!

{Yikes!}

They're baaack...

It's August 15th.  

The first day of school.

I know.

Early, right?

And, here it is...the annual "First Day of School" photo!  

Ty's first day in Kindergarten {he was so e-cited}.  Oh, how bittersweet it is!  He is ready though and, honestly, so am I.  Give them wings and let them fly, right?  The kid needed some stuff to do!

And, Colin's first day as a 3rd grader.  So grown up!  Not as e-cited to go back to school, but he went with a smile {and I think he kinda was once today actually got here}.  He was nervous about two things, but I cannot tell you...mother-son privileges and all.  I think this will be a great year for him.  He's a wonderful boy...we are so proud of him!  And, this year he gets to play football and basketball...what could be better?

And, Miss Eden...well, she's off to a whole new world at Gigi and Dad-Dad's with no pesky brothers, thank you very much!  {she loves them a ton, but let's just say sometimes they cramp her style a bit}.

Now, I need to go set the table for breakfast and get my really, tired self prepared for the 5:30 a.m. alarm bells!

Back to school reality...

Colin is being so sweet and "allowing" me to use his camera until we can buy a new one.

And, I must say, it has reminded me how very differently children view the world.

They see the beauty in the ordinary...always.  

And I love that...always.

While doing some of my "light reading" this summer, I came upon a quote which I've quite literally repeated in my head 100,000 times or so since I read it.

I'm pretty sure I've read it before.

" A point worth pondering:  Upon completing 

the Universe, the Great Creator pronounced it "very good."    

Not "perfect."

- Sarah Ban Breathnach

It's been said that when the student is ready the teacher appears...apparently I'm ready to learn this, because when I read it this time it seemed to scream out at me from the page.

I've struggled with perfectionism for many, many years.  It's stunted me in ways I never would have believed it could.  How I dress.  How I decorate.  How I learn.  How I teach.  How I communicate.  How I live.

Nobody is perfect.  I'm never going to be perfect.  Not the perfect Mom, or wife, or friend, or co-worker {surprise, surprise}...and it's taken me damn near 40 years to really start to get it. 

Notice I said start.  I still cringe when Ty picks his nose in public because of how I feel it reflects on my parenting {even though lots of 5 year olds pick their noses}.  I still won't trust my ability to put together an outfit...I keep things very boring safe.  There are times when I feel so socially paralyzed that I come off as completely not worth getting to know.  I let other people make me feel inferior.  And yet I know that nobody is perfect.  Nobody.

God created this amazing, beautiful universe...complex, astounding, incredible...and proclaimed it "very good."  

Not perfect.  

And I'm starting to get it.  I can be "very good" instead of perfect.  God said so...

"And God saw everything that he had made, and behold, it was very good."

                                                                          - Genesis 1:31

love the one your with

...even if this is what his side of the bed looks like...

and this is where the dirty clothes basket is located.  :) 

{for the record I have no annoying habits and I always hang my clothes up or put them in the dirty clothes basket.  I never (no matter what you might hear from others), hang my clothes on doorknobs or over the end of our bed!}