Jay Lazemby

When I was in elementary school, I had a friend named Jay Lazemby. I had a little crush on Jay. I remember chasing him around the playground with Emily Wilkenson. Sometimes we chased him and sometimes he chased us. He gave me a valentine card once, which I took personally. I'm sure everyone in our class got one, but to this day, I think he meant it! (I know, that's vein of me, but I really do). I actually kept that valentine for many years, I may still have it somewhere, but I think I finally threw them all away.  Before the end of 5th grade Jay moved. I think it might have even been in 3rd or 4th grade, but I don't remember. 

When I reached the 7th grade, one of my classmates told me that Jay was killed in a hunting accident. I remember that day so clearly. I went home and told my mom, but she didn't remember him. I was in a really bad mood for the rest of that day. I would say it was the orneriest I have ever been. I didn't know how to articulate my feelings, so they just came out as anger towards everyone around me. I finally took myself to my room and cried. I wish I would have recognized then that what I was feeling wasn't actually anger, but sadness.

Every now and then I have days where I feel that deep sadness. I get angry. And then I think about Jay, and I remember, this is what sadness feels like. 

Today has been one of those days, and not even for my own stuff, but I feel deep sadness for people in my family and in my ward. There are some tough situations that people are trying to navigate. It makes me sad, and I feel so helpless. I wish I had the right words, a piece of advice, or some tidbit of wisdom to offer. But I don't. I offer my heart and a listening ear and hope that it's enough. 

Vision

It's official! I'm old! I've been putting off an eye appointment for a while now, but after trying on Leighna's glasses and realizing that I really can see better with them, I caved and let The Babe make the appointment.

Not going to lie...I nearly cried right then and there in front of the Doc when he told me I need bi-focals. 

Now the impossible task of choosing a pair of eye wear! Seriously, it's so hard to pick a pair of glasses! 

We looked for a long while and finally walked away because I'm the worst decision maker on the planet and now I have to choose something to wear on my face every. single. day. How does one choose such a thing!! I have no idea which way to go!

Addie's sociology class had a cupcake decorating contest today. Add won 3rd place with this cute little hedgehog! It's adorable! She's a good little baker and she's getting better all the time! I love watching her develop this talent because it's something I enjoy also.

Leighn had a bit of a rough day. She was asked to speak in her Seminary General Conference today. When it was her turn, she had a full blown panic attack. She told Brother Pettis she's never speaking to him again, crumpled into her arms, said I can't do this, and bolted for the door. I found her in the hallway, her arms wrapped around her knees, struggling to breathe. I have never felt so helpless in all my life. I took her in my arms and just held her. I had no words, none seemed appropriate. Brother Pettis was right behind me and he talked to her while we got her to calm down. It's so so hard to watch my children struggle with anxiety. Ty has been having a really hard time with it also. I don't understand. It just hasn't been a thing for me so I don't know how to help. I am so helpless in this area. 

She's doing much better tonight. She and Jack watched Night at the Museum and she tried on his boots to show us what big feet he has!! 

My frien took this little gem! Not sure what the context of this picture is, but their faces are priceless! I love it!

Porter and Will...they're doing well. Baseball season is upon us, so the boys have all been spending a lot of time at the baseball fields. It's so good for them. 

I had my pickleball league today. Did I tell you I joined a pickleball league? I can't remember. Anyway, I did, with Sarah. Sarah and I never really play each other because she is better than I am, but I'm improving. Tonight though, Alex Chamberlain played on my court. He is Matt and Ben's friend from high school. So, I played with him and against him. Honestly, I played better against him than with him. We didn't do so hot together. However, it was also rainy and windy, so we probably would have done better if the weather was better. I was super intimidated when I found out we had joined a co-ed league. I thought we were just playing against women. I'm the worst one in the league hands down, but no one has kicked me out yet, and I'm getting better. Very Slowly! I need to get out and practice, but our evenings are pretty packed once the kids get out of school. I need to find some time in the mornings to go practice. 

It's raining again tonight. We're starting to wonder if we're going to get washed down the river. We've had record amounts of rain and snow this winter. More than 1983, which is when there were so many floods. Hoping we don't get too much flooding, but at this point I don't know if it can be avoided. 

Also, Ryan Warner passed away this week. He is one of my classmates from high school. I hope his family will find comfort. It is a very hard thing to lose someone you love. It makes me wonder about my own mortality. I try not to take this one precious life for granted. I'm very blessed. 

Birthday Celebrations!

I love it when Will is feeling really cool! He's definitely looking cool! He is so funny.

After school on Friday we went down to Vegas to surprise Miss Marie for her 40th birthday!! Ben and I have been making plans for a couple weeks about getting together and celebrating Marie and The Babe's birthdays. The Babe actually was able to sneak away from work for a couple days, which is no easy feat! I appreciate all the maneuvering it took on his part to be able to make it work out! When we got there, Marie was surprised! She didn't know we were coming. We dropped off the kids to entertain each other and we went to the Las Vegas Temple! (I wish I would have taken a picture!) We were late because of traffic through the Gorge so we had to reschedule, but it was no big deal. The Vegas temple has plenty of room. The Cedar City Temple is booked out past May, so it's really hard to get an appointment here. We will be really glad, when they open up the St. George and the new Red Cliffs temples. We almost missed the session because of some technical difficulties with recommends, but we made it! They have made new changes to the Endowment session. It was very very interesting. I'm looking forward to going back to learn all the details. However, this session had subtitles and the speaking was very slow, so I hope that it will not be that slow every time. 

We went to dinner after at The Cheesecake Factory! It was so fun! We talked and laughed and talked some more!! It was so great! Rie and I have been best friends from the beginning of time! I'm so grateful that we still are! I am so incredibly blessed that she is not only my best friend, but my sister as well! We have shared a lot of life together and I look forward to many more years to come! 

The big surprise was to take The Babe and Rie to a restaurant called Texas de Brazil! It was a fancy restaurant where they have a buffet type style of food, but then they bring skewers of meat to your table and they slice off whichever meat you would like onto your plate. Let me tell you, they keep it coming! They had sirloin steaks, filet mignon, flank steak, chicken parmesan, chicken wrapped in bacon, sausages, leg of lamb, and everything else you can imagine. I really liked the filet mignon and the chicken wrapped in bacon. It was one of the fanciest restaurants I've ever been to! 

We talked and laughed and talked some more! We never seem to run out of things to talk about! I love it! We've been solving the world's problems together for decades now! If only someone would take our advice!! (wink, wink)

The kids had fun together too! Adelah had to work, so we had to leave her behind, which always makes me feel so bad. Leighna assured me that this is just a phase, I sincerely hope so!! Ha ha!

Great weekend! 

Today was Fast Sunday, sometimes on fast Sunday's I know before I get there that I need to bare my testimony, and today was one of those days. I don't really like to, I would rather listen to everyone else, but I try to do it when I feel like I need to. Anyway, I told the boys I was going to bare my testimony today and I so they had to too! (The Babe and the girls all had to work...dumb work!)

When I was done, Porter went up to bare his testimony. He told the congregation our conversation that morning, and that I told him he should, then he said he was trying to re-gain favorite child status, so that's why he was there! It was really funny the way he put it and everyone chuckled. After I had a sister tell me that she loves my kids so much, especially Porter, she just loves him! It always makes me feel good to hear that my children are loved and that they're not just the ward circus!! 

After church I took a LONG, much needed nap! It wears me out these days! 

 The Babe got off of work earlier than I expected today. I was genuinely surprised to see him. Maybe we will survive the waterfalls after all. 

 

Manager of the Year

The Babe is once again the manager of the year! This one is for the Southern Region! So proud of him! I was forbidden to post this anywhere but on the family blog. So here you go! If you're lucky enough to read this blog you are lucky to know that my Babe is one cool dude! 

Seriously, though he's amazing and I'm so proud of him. 

I'm so grateful for all of the hard work he puts in to take care of our family! 

Good Work Babe!!!

 To most of us the Gunlock falls are just beautiful and breathtaking! 

I see the beauty, but I also see the struggle. I see the sleepless nights and the endless phone calls. I see the worry and the fatigue. I see you, Babe! I want you to know that I do!

 I don't always have the right words, but I believe in you! You're doing AMAZING work!!

Growing Up

It's getting really real! Miss Addie got her cap and gown today! She's super excited! I'm super trying not to cry my eyes out! No one really prepares you for this. I've heard a lot of "cherish every moment" or "it goes by so fast". And it really does! But what about my heart? No one told me it would break a little bit every day by letting her go! I'm super excited for her, I really am, this is really a fun time in life.  I hope that no matter how old she is, she will still need her mom!! At least a little bit!

It hurts. I never expected it to hurt. Even watching my friends send their children out into the world, I never expected it to hurt. 

Okay...enough crying!!!!

The Babe had a conference today for State Parks. He asked if I would help cook their dinner. So, I through a load of dishes in the dishwasher, a load of laundry in the washing machine, scrubbed the toilet and headed out to the fairgrounds to help with the cooking. I'm getting to know the people better, so it's not so intimidating. I don't feel as out of place as I used to. I really had a good time today. Just before it was time to eat, I had a meeting, so I came home and had my meeting, took care of a food order, and sent my kids to bed. I didn't really see much of them today, and it's kind of sad, now that I'm sitting here thinking about it. I'm glad I took a minute to tuck the boys into bed. Guess I better head that way too. 

 

A Child's Prayer

...And please bless Porter that he will close his eyes during the prayer cause I caught him the last 2 times cause I was doing the exact same thing. Sorry. In the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

-Will

Home Sweet Home

Oh man, it's good to be home!!! It has felt like a long long time!! I don't want to go anywhere for weeks!!! Maybe even months!!!

Will built this lovely cup tower for Mrs. C, he wanted me to send her the picture, but I don't have her phone number. 

Brett and Holly stopped by for a little bit. They're staying out at Gunlock for a couple days, but I couldn't stay any longer. I needed to be home. 

Sarah and Zach came over too and talked us into going out to Sheep's Bridge with them to check out the water after all the rain.

The water had to have been at least 15-20 feet higher yesterday. There is seriously so much water this year and it's supposed to rain again Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday next week! 

Sarah got a new puppy! Meet Homer!

 

Lifetime Achievement Awarded to my Dad

I had to sneak away from Gunlock for a little bit because my Dad received one of the greatest awards at the Parks and Recreation Conference!

My Dad worked for Nephi City for 40 years. John Bramel nominated him for the Lifetime Achievement Award, and his nomination was accepted. 

John gave a beautiful speech about my dad! It was touching. Dad was nearly in tears for most of it. He has done a lot of work through the years! It was great that he was recognized for it. I loved that John said, there's not a tree or a bush in Nephi City that Phil Baker hasn't touched! I think that's true! He has definitely left a legacy in Nephi. 

And my cute Mom was there to support and love him through all the years! In my book she deserves an award too! 

It was great to have all my siblings there (minus Mandy she was heading to Moab and couldn't make it.)

We didn't all fit at one table. That didn't stop us from getting into some trouble!! Katie and I slipped out to use the bathroom. We decided we needed a little longer break, so we went to the farthest bathroom we could find. On our way back, we took a detour through the hallway and discovered they had a silent auction going on. We couldn't resist doing a little auction shopping for Jonathan! But it needed to be the perfect item. We passed up the diet coke, and the spikeball, and the water fight basket and then we found it! 

The perfect item...

A Tamborine!!! Signed by a professional tamborine player!!! 

It was so funny! We all had a good laugh, and it was hard because we were sitting in the front! Jonathan was NOT amuzed!! He basically ran out of the room when it was done to cross off his name! We considered a bidding war between Camron and Jonathan, but decided $30 was our limit! 

Ha ha ha...still laughing!!! We think we are so funny!

It was nice to be able to play with my sister again! I love my family so much!

It's also my mom's birthday!!! She kept trying to tell us that she was 68, but when we did the math, she's only 67! She was so happy that she was only 67! She kept saying, I'm only 67 today!! It was super cute! 

The girls all went to get pedicures after to celebrate! It was fun to be together. 

I wish all of my family lived closer to me! I miss them!!

On the way back to Gunlock it was still raining! They closed the road to Gunlock going through Santa Clara, so I had to go through Veyo to get there. It was a crazy storm. It rained a ton! 

Don't Go Chasing Waterfalls

This week is Spring Break! We headed out to our favorite staycation spot!

The first day was beautiful and we did some playing on the dock and we hiked over to the waterfall area, but there were no waterfalls. 

The cement wall in this picture is the overflow...when the water goes over that wall, that's when we get waterfalls. We went with the Wolslegers. It was fun to have Greyson home! 

KSL came to interview The Babe in anticipation of the waterfalls. He was on the 5 o'clock news!

Will found a rock baby...he wanted to carry it back to the house with us. Luckily, we talked him out of it! Again, notice the cement wall in the background. There were still 2 feet to go before waterfalls.

And then it started raining! We played a lot of games and just hung out together in the tiny house.

By the next morning...Waterfalls!!

By that evening....raging waterfalls!!! We've never seen so much water coming down those falls.

The lake was so full it was coming up into the parking lot!

I didn't get a picture of the lake at it's fullest, all of this was underwater by the end of the day. 

You know they say, be careful what you wish for. Well, I was hoping for waterfalls, they are so beautiful. But I forget what a toll it takes on The Babe. It is really, really hard on him. I was in the truck with him the first morning, listening to him talk to the people in Salt Lake, giving him directions. The water conservancy people were there trying to talk to him. St. George city people were there trying to talk to him. The fire chief was there, and his region crew. All trying to tell him how to handle the crowds and the falls. It was nuts and I gained a new perspective of what the Gunlock waterfalls means to my husband. It means no sleep, it means dozens of people barking orders at him, it means crazy rude people being belligerent to his face, it means cleaning up people's garbage all the time, it means talking to thousands of people a day, it's the stress of trying to keep people safe who just won't listen, it means hours and hours of work he doesn't get paid for, it means constant phone calls, and constant worry, and so so much more. I can never hope for waterfalls again, no matter how beautiful, it's a nightmare for the person I love the most.