17. For You

So this came out of nowhere.

couldn't seem to find a perfect time to put up an appreciation post, simply because my papers were finished so awkwardly fast everyone might be too busy studying to actually read.

Alsosinceitspostconvoifeellessawkwardpostingthishopefullynoonereallynoticesthiscuzitsscarytoletpeopleknowyourthoughtshah

If I enrolled in January, this would have been my graduation ceremony too. Thesis would have been behind me for such a long time I wouldn't even remember what it looked like, maybe I would have found a job and even started preparing for other future plans. But I'm glad that's not the case, or else I wouldn't have met all of you (probably not anyway, who knows what's happening to Jan-intake me in an alt universe).

I'm actually pretty happy with how this all turned out in general, even though there's still so many things I wanted to try out here but didn't. Of course, there are some regrets here and there, certainly some bad times and a lot of I-cant-wait-to-get-out-of-here times. But still, it's been a good 4 years.

It's not the best, but it's ok.

For those whom I got to know quite well, thanks for accepting my weirdness and tolerating my stupidity from time to time (come to think of it, no, I know y'all enjoy watching me look embarrassed, cuz I'd do the same in your case :D).

OksothisissuddenbutIdontknowhowtodoasmoothtransitionsohereyougo

sah smooth

001 Crystal Blue
I'm suddenly at a loss for words cuz all I can think of is the day when you *ehem* on the flight of stairs at you-know-where. You've been a great friend. We're polar opposites but we're ok. You told me you have never met someone like me, I would say the same (I have never met someone this clumsy and forgetful yet I can still tahan lol). You have actually influenced me quite a lot, in a good way. I wouldn't ever be that relaxed a day before assignment submission, nor would I be that calm and composed when I'm driving if it kinda wasn't for you.
说到影响也有自己要反省的地方，有时候自己的用词可能比较强硬，对事情的看法也会显得比较凶残(??)，可是那是我不能准确地表达自己的想法>针对某人的意见，所以如果你有什么想要对我说的事情就别担心我会有偏见之类的了，因为通常都是没有的（？
Keep doing what you're doing, cuz you're pretty great the way you are.


002 Alex
If you still remember Alex lol
I actually think we have a lot more in common than whatever I have already known. Just a hunch though and my hunches aren't exactly that great. I thought of so many stupid things you did but then decided to stop being evil for once and not say anything. You are kinda the reason I procrastinated a lot less than I would have since you study ahead and stuff and we can all see it (and being a typical Asian it's my second nature to see this as a sign to start revising). 

You do have quite some qualities that I wish I have, like the one in love textbook about capitalization (not saying what it means cuz I can), I tend to wish I'm the kind of friend that shows support outwardly. Not complaining.
I do hope you successfully learn that language from your book tho (Italian or French or whatever it is that I could not remember). And about that thing you wanna do but still don't dare to do it, I wish you all the best.

003 Typo
Thanks for constantly providing us with group name ideas.

To be honest I still feel like you're too scared to do something when I'm around (occasionally). That actually annoys me sometimes, but what I wanna say is, I'm not as invincible as you think, and I'm not angry all the time even though my face might look like it, so you don't need to be so careful around me, cuz I'm just a human and not some extraterrestrial being in case you haven't noticed.

Sarcasm aside, you're a good person, you just need to let more people know about it. I'm sure you'll still do fine if people really understand you have good intentions behind the things you do (even if it's not always what they want), just take things at your own pace, and remember I'm not an alien and I can understand earth language so you might want to consider me an option if you want any help. 

004 Skittish tamago mentai 

Cuz you don't like animals and bugs so I can't really insert anything other than the first thing that came to mind.

Yay you made it this far :D If I'm not wrong you still have a paper or something but you're almost at the finish line so hang in there. 

I've told you this before but I'll say it again, you've done great. I've been learning to look at what I did and not give myself such a hard time over what I didn't/couldn't do, would be great if you can do the same. If you've tried your best you deserve at least some credit over it.

I'm starting to feel hungry since I keep thinking about sushi when I think of you and my brain doesn't work very well when I'm like this. Just know that I wouldn't want us to simply part ways after graduation and never meet again, so I'm looking forward to having sushi with you again in the near future.

005 Punny cat
You're the only one who laughes at the puns I found D: And you're always talking about things I don't know so I can only show you puns, cats, and other random cute stuff D:

We've known each other for so long yet we don't seem to understand each other that well, probably because our interests are too different they never seem to overlap (except for the time when you watched undertale). 

You always go out of your way to take care of the petty stuffs which we never even bother to notice and I really appreciate that, and I'm sure you'll still do fine the next time around cuz you're more dependable than you think you are. Since I have also associated you with sushi I'm experiencing intense cravings in the middle of the night I think I better stop here before I eat my plushie. 

006 🙄

Inserting this emoji cuz I know you've been waiting for this (kinda). Y'all alrd know I love you, so there's nothing much to say and I've alrd said enough in other entries. And should I remind y'all again how much I hate camps cuz I get all cranky and nervous and that kinda defeats the whole purpose of bonding (actually no, this is just so you can tell who I'm addressing this to hahahahaha). 

Thanks for letting me in though, accepting me as one of you and all. I wouldn't trade that for the world. 

007 

For some others whom I haven't really got the chance to talk to, you're all great people and if I can I would still really want to know y'all better. Like this person who was still willing to fetch me back at night after this minor car accident; or this person who invited me for Burgerlab (yes I remember, and I'm hungry); or this person for whom I cooked a dish as a sign of support; this person who said I look like their cousin; this person who uses hahaha a lot and has been kind enough to let me play with their cat; this person who always give me random warm hugs when they see me; also this relatively new friend who has been giving me wise words of support and encouragement (like the time when I put up a crying emoji lol); and everyone of you who helped to recruit participants for my thesis research. Big things, small things, they all made this little place seem that much more enjoyable. 

If anyone stayed long enough to read this I commend you for your patience. 

Or your precise scrolling. 

十六。当

其实慢慢地发现写部落格是个可怕的行为。

把自己的想法就这样摊开来供人观赏，某种程度上堪比赤身裸体地行走在众目睽睽之下。对于我这类闷骚型的来说，虽然很不自在可是等到发现也已经太迟啦。

你问我为什么不写毕业论文的感想，这也是其中一个原因。不过我愿意当面和你说哦诶嘿。
我想我是有那么一点喜欢你的，虽然我还真的完全不认识你。

虽然这种心情可能非常微不足道，可我确实难过了。
近来深有感触的事情，是自己已经无法用文字确切地表达自己心里的想法了。逗比太久就回不去了啊，当初文青的时候。从一开始，我就在捂着自己的耳朵，告诉自己这一定是真的。

现在连伤感也不能文绉绉地伤感了，只能用“想吃东西”的心情来表示内心的空虚。
一定是真的，一定是真的，我的难过也是真的。
已经四月了，是春天的季节。纵使生在个没有四季的地方，心里却不断交替着风景。确实，在舒适圈里呆得久了，人也会变得脆弱无力。所以再见了，我喜欢的陌生人。

生活上、情绪上、交际上、规划上，依然有那么多需要学着接受失败的地方。别人都在成长的时候我到底都在干什么啊。
If two lines are truly parallel, it means they'll never actually meet
不久后，是该笑着说再见了。
My sweet, sweet sorrow.