Tessa Newborn Pics- December 5th, 2014

Tessa is the smiliest newborn I have ever seen. We would regularly see these awesome sleep smiles and she smiles at me every time I feed her. I love it and was thrilled to catch it on camera!

Tessa (like all our kids) had jaundice issues and we spent her first week at the doctor's every day for labs. She ended up being on one bili blanket starting on Monday and then double lights until Thursday when we finally convinced out pediatrician that her numbers were trending down and she was safe enough. Miles was on for almost 2 full weeks, so finally having a cord free baby felt like an early Christmas gift to me! I wanted to hurry and get some newborn pictures of her before she changed too much and so I asked Kyle to stay home from work on Friday (her original due date) to get some shots of our 7 day old baby. We got some gems. Newborn photos are inherently stressful and not my favorite shots to do, but it is worse when you are the postpartum mother and still recovering physically and emotionally as well (not to mention sleep deprived!). It was a stress, but we did get some great shots and also had Kellie's boys over for their "elf" photos and my mom's 5 local grandkid Christmas photo that she wanted. Three newborns, one 2 year old, and one emotional 5 year old made for a busy household!

Kellie and Spencer gave us this awesome little outfit and I want it in my size! The red baby skinny jeans are my favorite!

These boys love their sister so much. They hold her all the time for me so I can get something done. Even Miles does a great job if I prop him in with my nursing pillow. He has never dropped her off of him and always calls out to me when he is done.

My mom made Tessa this awesome tutu for her photo shoot in holiday sparkles. Unfortunately, we learned that glitter tulle is a mess and we had glitter everywhere for days. Next time I think we will skip the glitter.

This was the last outfit we did on her and she was pretty well done by that point with scratchy fabric and mom messing with her.

I have honestly not been one to enjoy the newborn stage much with my own kids. I love everyone else's newborn babies, but it is hard to enjoy your own when you are exhausted, up every two hours, battling low milk supply, and hormonal. I can honestly say that I have loved Tessa as a newborn. She is the rare baby that I have heard my friends occasionally talk of. She eats like a champ, has a great latch which has helped my milk supply immensely (I always struggle to keep enough of a supply), takes naps in her Rock 'n Play during the day with minimal effort to put her down, and often goes 4 hour stretches at night. I remember bouncing Miles around the house for an hour to get him to sleep and then he would wake 10 minutes later crying. Miles was so cranky and cried all the time until he was 2 months old. Grant we never got to enjoy as a newborn since he was in the hospital all of that time and when we did bring him home, he was so fragile we were on edge all the time with him. Tessa is happy and content and goes with the flow. She hates her car seat and has her fussy period in the evenings where she wants to be held and prefers to be up and moving, but she doesn't scream non stop during this time. It is nice to have a newborn that loves to snuggle, but is also ok to be put down some of the time. She has been a tremendous blessing since I am teaching two sections of Family Stress and Coping for BYU-I this semester and there is no way I would have been able to do it if she had been a cranky baby. I certainly hope that she continues to be sweet and easy going from here on out.

Meeting the Brothers- November 29th, 2014

As I mentioned in my last post, Grant and Miles came to the hospital to meet Tessa the next morning after I had a chance to rest up and recover a little myself. I was able to shower on my own that morning (in the past, I was still shaky the next day and needed Kyle's help) and did my best to look presentable so that Grant and Miles were not worried about mom. We knew that Miles especially was excited to hold HIS baby after spending the previous few weeks snuggling Kellie's twins who are exactly six weeks older than Tessa. As soon as she finished her bath and we brought her back into the room, Grant jumped on the bed anxious to hold the sister he had prayed would come to us for so long. It was love at first sight. They sat there and looked at her and held her and just truly enjoyed the moment.

Next up, my mom wanted her turn. She had enjoyed a lot of newborn snuggles after helping at Kellie's house daily for the previous six weeks, but this was the first grand daughter to live close by.

My dad was up next and he thoroughly enjoyed snuggling her. He tried to convince us that her nickname from him needed to be something sturdy and he decided on Daisy, though I have yet to hear him call her that. Tessa just works so much better.

We got our first family photo which then due to the proximity to the holidays ended up being mailed out on my parent's Christmas card as well as bring printed as the family photo in Nate's annual grandkid photo book. Nothing like showing the world an awesome hospital gown photo!

Because we wanted our boys to have as minimal disruption to their schedules as possible, Kyle spent most of his time with them when I was at the hospital. He came back in the evening on Saturday to eat the hospital's congratulations dinner with me and got some more daddy daughter time. Then, he was back the next morning to spend some time and bring us home. He took most of the following photos on Sunday morning.

I love her full round belly and the rolls on her chunky baby thighs.

Tessa's Birth- November 28, 2014

I know that I haven't blogged in 9 months and I have a lot of catching up to do. I had the best of intentions and came home from our first family vacation ready to blog about our trip to Disneyland, but then I was waiting for pics from Kyle's phone and intimidated that I wouldn't be able to express everything I wanted to. Wait a few months and then I was behind, started a new job (more on that in a future post when I get around to it), and then pregnant with all the sickness and exhaustion that comes with it. I have a lot of excuses, but I don't want to dwell on the past. We have had such an exciting month with the addition of sweet Tessa and so before I forget any details, I wanted to share all about our beautiful daughter. We found out that I was pregnant a month or so after returning from Disneyland and just days before I began my new job as an adjunct faculty member for BYU-Idaho. I was quite nervous about teaching online my first semester during the first trimester of a pregnancy, but Heavenly Father answered my prayers! This is a VERY long and detailed post about Tessa's birth. You will probably not want to read unless you want to know every detail. This is the only place I know I will be able to look back and so all the details are below. Feel free to skip!

I had the best early pregnancy of all my pregnancies so far. I was only mildly sick and never threw up. I did have days where I was very queasy, but it passed within a few hours each day and I my actual routine wasn't disrupted much. I was tired a lot, but not nearly as exhausted as I felt during my pregnancy with Miles. So far, I would say I had the most morning sickness with Grant, the most exhaustion with Miles, and the best early pregnancy with Tessa. Grant had been praying for almost 8 months before I got pregnant that he would get a baby sister. He remembered every night to pray for that and would start over again if he forgot in his bedtime prayers. The first time he did it, Kyle and I laughed to ourselves, but it was apparent within a week that he was serious and he would not give up on that. I love his child like faith in knowing that Heavenly Father will answer our prayers. Needless to say, I was really hoping that this baby would be a girl! We were delighted to see a healthy baby girl at my 20 week ultrasound and my mind was finally put to ease after she had her fetal echo at 22 weeks.

Though Tessa was my easiest early pregnancy, she was by far my most uncomfortable and difficult 3rd trimester baby. Around 30 weeks, I started to feel the usual pains and aches and by 32, I was feeling pretty miserable. At my prenatal appointments, I had been measuring about 2 weeks ahead from 25 weeks on, but around 32 weeks, I started measuring 4 week ahead. By 37 weeks, I was measuring at least 2 weeks overdue and my midwife decided it was time for a growth ultrasound to see what was up  with this big baby. She was looking perfect, but they guessed her to weigh around 8 lbs 12 oz at that time and my body was not gearing up for labor at all. I had been in so much pain for all of those weeks because she was wedged in my pelvis so tightly that her shoulder was stuck and she wasn't descending. I had been going to the chiropractor a few times a week since 33 weeks just to try and get some relief and I was discouraged. She was also facing the wrong direction (sunny side up) and my mid wife warned me that with her size and position, it was likely that I would have a long hard labor with a lot of back pain unless we could get her to flip. Though my due date had originally been guessed to be December 5th, my midwife convinced me (I didn't need much convincing!) that if she didn't come on her own, we would need to induce labor at 39 weeks to cut down on risks of having such a big baby.

I began a full circuit of things to try and get her to flip and move her out of my hip. I faithfully did my sideways stair lunges, yoga, and exercise ball figure 8's for a week and she was still pinned. We scheduled an induction for November 28th (the day after Thanksgiving) and my doctor and I were both very hopeful that labor would begin on its own before that time (I had ben having hours of consistent contractions for weeks). Another week passed  and despite all my best efforts, I was still not dilated beyond the 2 I had been at for a month. I decided to just let things come as they would and we went to enjoy Thanksgiving dinner with my parents and Kellie's family. We had everything set for induction the next morning (Black Friday... one of my favorite shopping days of the year!) and my dad was planning on coming over at 6:30 to hang out with the boys while Kyle and I checked into the hospital. Unfortunately, when we called 30 minutes before coming, I was told that 5 women had come in during the night and they didn't have a room for me. I was devastated and begged them to let me come as soon as a room was open (I was beyond miserable by the end)  and the charge nurse told me that the midwife said if there wasn't a room open by 9 am, I would have to wait and come another day. Since we already had my dad at our house, Kyle threw my hospital bag in the car and we decided to go Black Friday shopping (yeah Fred Meyer sock sale!) in hopes of getting contractions moving. While we were finishing our shopping, I got a phone call from the hospital and they told me that if I could get there in ten minutes, they would be able to get the induction started. We hurried and paid for our items and sped to the hospital. I was beyond ready to have this baby!

The plan was simply to break my water and then see what happened. I was convinced that if she no longer had a ton of fluid to cushion her, then my contractions would actually push her past my hip and I would be able to have a successful labor without Pitocin. I don't respond well to Pitocin and that was one of my biggest fears with this labor. I really wanted to experience a labor without the drug and I wanted to be able to move around during labor instead of being strapped to monitors on a bed with IV's. My labor nurse was very sweet and told me later that almost no one is able to progress enough with a simple water break induction. Apparently most women still require the pitocin if they are not fully in labor when arriving in the hospital. After finally getting through the admissions questions and long process, the mid wife on call  (mine was on vacation for Thanksgiving) broke my water and then told me that she would check in 2 hours and if I wasn't progressing, I would have to start the Pitocin. Kyle and I got up and started walking. I felt really stupid pacing around the small hospital (I chose to deliver at the very small surgical center hospital so it was very quiet on a holiday weekend), but we kept it up. I did lunges up and down the stairs over and over and walked the halls.

Once an hour, I went back to my room to spend ten minutes on the monitors watching contractions and how baby was handling everything. Contractions were consistent every 3 minutes and not very strong, so we kept walking. When I checked into the hospital, I was at a 2 and not very effaced. By noon I was at a 4, so they let me keep doing my thing.  I was allowed to eat during my labor this time (so nice!) and they actually kept bringing me snacks when I was being monitored because baby's heart rate wasn't having enough fluctuations. Things were going well and though I was having consistent contractions, they were still really manageable, so I sent Kyle to pick up some lunch (and some Cafe Rio gift cards that were on sale for Black Friday! So funny.). I had some soup that Kyle brought back and applied my Clary Sage essential oil (to aid in helping me dilate).  We spent another two hours walking and lunging (Kyle got to be a very active participant in the labor this time!) and the contractions started to pick up in intensity. I had to stop a lot in the halls and lean on Kyle for relief. After a few hours, they were getting quite strong. I came back into my room to get monitored and contractions were strong every 2 minutes or so. I was at a six, so they let me keep laboring without pitocin.

I decided to get in the jetted tub in hopes of relaxing my body so it would keep progressing. I no sooner got in the tub then my contractions were picking up in intensity and frequency. Kyle started timing them and they were coming about every 90 seconds and lasting 30-45 seconds each. I tried to rest in between, but within about 15 minutes, they were so strong I was having a hard time not moaning or screaming to get through them. We joked because I always mock the Hollywood labor scenes with the mom to be kicking and screaming, but I couldn't keep quiet with the intensity and pain. I was probably scaring the nurses and other patients since my room was right across from the nurses station. My nurse came in to check on me and after about an hour in the tub, she wanted me to get out to get checked. She knew that I was getting close, but I was having a hard time even getting from the tub to my bed with the contractions every minute almost knocking me to my knees. My midwife had been called and she came in to check me herself (she had been getting text updates most of the rest of the day). I was at an 8 which made me want to cry because I felt like I should be at a 10! I had not planned on having an epidural free delivery, but at this point I felt like there was no possible way that I would be able to hold still enough to have a successful epidural . I asked about IV pain meds but was told that I could only have one dose and it might slow the baby down, so they basically talked me out of it. I just took a deep breath and figured that whether I felt prepared for it or not, I would be having a drug free delivery. I was screaming and moaning with every contraction and started throwing up at the same time. Kyle was trying to offer counter pressure to help with the contractions and I remembered my dear friend Jane telling me that her natural delivery of her 10 lb baby was easier when she flipped to all fours. My midwife asked if I wanted to try a position change to help with the pain and so I got up on my knees and supported myself against some pillows. I threw up again and felt like I needed to start pushing. The pain was excruciating (anyone who can honestly say that they had a pain free delivery must be lying!!) and I was really doubting myself. I felt like with every push, she would move a smidge down, but then would slide back up when the contraction ended. This continued for 20 ish minutes (Neither of us were really watching the clock) and I was crying and feeling panicked that she was stuck and we were not going to be able to get her out. My midwife and nurses kept trying to calm me and I finally heard them say that she was out as far as her eyes. Several more excruciating minutes and they got her nose and chin out. Her shoulders were pretty well wedged, but once they finally slid past, they were able to slide the rest of her body.

I remember feeling jubilant with the boys deliveries once they finally arrived, but with Tessa, I was so exhausted and beat up, I just collapsed into the pillow shaking and throwing up. They asked me if I could roll over so they could clean her up on my chest and I felt so shaky and sick that I told them if was ok if they just moved her over to her warming bed. I finally managed to turn myself over to watch, but I was shaking so uncontrollably from adrenaline and hormones that I wasn't very coherent. My blood pressure was pretty low and I felt like I was going to pass out, so I just laid back and shut my eyes while the placenta was delivered. I heard them call out that she was 9 lbs 10.8 oz and they would round it to 9 lb 11 oz. She was 20.5 inches long and was officially born at 5:26 pm. My nurse was ecstatic and kept telling me how thrilled she was that I got my wish... a Pitocin free delivery. I was just kind of in shock and even when she was laid on my chest for some skin to skin time, I had to have Kyle hold her there because I was shaking too badly to support her. I was amazed because they laid her on my chest and she immediately started rooting for me. Kyle moved her and she latched on immediately and nursed for almost 45 minutes right off the bat. Despite how shaky I was, I immediately felt such an overpowering sense of love and joy over this sweet little roly poly baby. She had the chubbiest cheeks and 3 chins and rolls down her neck. She felt very solid and had some pretty strong head control right off the bat. It was a rough delivery and immediate recovery time, but by the next day I felt amazing and was up and moving around without feeling shaky. That first night, I was still so full of adrenaline that I didn't get to sleep until around 3 am. Because she was such a big baby, she had a drop in her glucose right after delivery and so they started monitoring her very closely. I had to supplement her with formula after every nursing session just to keep her glucose stable. I had not had glucose issues in pregnancy, but my midwife said my placenta was 1.5x the size of a normal placenta and it had worked very well to keep her growing. I felt bad that Tessa had to have a heel prick after every feeding (especially since her numbers always came back in normal range with a little formula) and I was glad to get the ok to take her home after 2 days.    

Right from birth, she was a very content baby. She did not really cry after being born which had me a little worried, but she pinked up quickly and just looked around. When we did hear her cry, I was shocked. The best way I can describe it is that she sounds like a screeching eagle. Her cry is an intense and high pitched screech. She startled the NICU nurses who could not believe that this awful sound was coming from such a round squishy baby. One of the nurses on a different shift poked her head in my room after Tessa was crying and had to come and witness this baby with the awful cry. She joked with me as she left that she certainly hoped that my baby didn't have colic or else we may not be able to survive the first few months with her. Thankfully, she doesn't cry for long prolonged periods of time and we can laugh at her unique cry.

I love this picture as it perfectly shows how round and squishy her cheeks are. She has the most hair at birth of all my kids and it is dark like Kyle's. Looks like I need to take a picture of the back of her head since these don't really show her hair.

She wasn't a fan of her first hospital bath (taken the next morning), but has loved them at home.

I was too wiped out to have the boys come visit the night she was born, so they came the next day. We remembered how traumatized Grant was by seeing his mommy in a hospital bed feeling very weak and with IV's in my hand (he was a wreck when Miles was born and it did not start the sibling bonding going over well) and so even though they wanted to come, we face timed with them that night and they came with Kyle the next morning. My parents came at the same time to meet her and it just so happened to be the time that she was getting her bath. They all looked in through the nursery window to get their first glimpse of baby sister (still not named at this point).

This was her first hospital hat and the bow the nurses gave her. We picked a Thanksgiving theme bow since she was our Thanksgiving season baby. We truly have much to be thankful for with her safe arrival in our family. When we arrived in the hospital, Kyle wrote that the goals for the day were to have a baby and figure out her name. He wrote down our top picks (Tessa, Natalie, Leah, Hannah, and Nora) and we looked at them all through the labor day. By the end of the night, Kyle was leaning towards Tessa (which he had the last several weeks of my pregnancy) and I was still undecided, but I really liked Leah and Natalie. We had a nurse named Natalie that night and my midwife was named Natalie and I joked that maybe it was a sign, but it still didn't feel perfect. I called her Tessa all night our first night together while Kyle was home with the boys. When he arrived the next morning with the kids, they asked what her name was. I told them we were still trying to decide and asked Grant if she looked like a Tessa to him. Kyle sheepishly looked at me and said, "Well, her name is Tessa because I just texted my family and Tim and told them that was her name." I laughed and laughed. That made it final. Tessa Brenn Hicken is an absolute joy.

Congratulations on making it through this post! I want to record all of these details so that I do not forget any thing. I hope she appreciates this later in life.