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HEY!!! I HAVE MOVED TO....
http://havinghotchocolate.blogspot.com re-link me!! thank u!!! [lEfT oUr pRiNtZ__*__sIlLyGiRl] at 10:57 pm
Hey people...
With the arrival of the new season, I am "shutting" this blog down... I dun really know how to blog in this blog... So..... I have moved........! [lEfT oUr pRiNtZ__*__sIlLyGiRl] at 10:11 am
At the end of the day, the question I posted is.. "are You satisfied with my worship?" "was it pleasing to Your ears". nothing else matters... I dun really care about wad man thinks... but... wad do You think, Lord?
You gave me the ideas of the arrangement... with my capability.. I wouldnt be able to do tht and at the same time articulate to the team as I did... so... wad went wrong...? God does not see the technicality of someone. He searches the heart. If He isnt satisfied with my worship set... then I have totally missed the point. Way at the beginning, I felt a strong sense of emptiness in the team... If we are not filled up with His Spirit, then how can we minister to His people? Worship is not a musical leadership, it's a spiritual leadership. A bunch of dried uppers will lead another bunch of dry uppers to a land of dryness... *nods* pretty logical... at the end of everything, I really felt drained out... I cried at the thought of "if this is going to be my last worship leading session, I'd prolly regret for the rest of my life ...." on second thoughts, as I sat there watching Tampui teared... I did my best in trying to hold the team together as much as they fell flat... I have done wad I could within my capability... of coz, credits goes to those who put in effort in different areas. still... the team didnt hold on together... I recorded the entire worship set down during practice and took home to practice my pitching and coming in and "add-lip" <-- dunno how to spell... God knows why it didnt come out as practice.... God knows why I would have mental blocks when I lead... and God knows how nervous I would get and my mouth will start to dry up when I lead... God knows I would not know how to breathe when I lead... so at the end of the day... how much am I going to surrender to Him...? hmmm revelation... something that I am so used to do and so good and swift at it... am chatting with Tampui online like now.. and we are toking abt eyeliner and drawing eyeliner... I told her.. it takes practice.. coz.. apparently she doesnt know how to draw? and for me... it's a everyday thing that it is like nothing to me... so I told her... " the more u prac, the better u get" and TADA!! a God-given revelation!! in that short 8-word sentence, came my answer !! truely.. the more I prac, the better I will get... so the key thing is to practise worship leading everyday? hehehe [lEfT oUr pRiNtZ__*__sIlLyGiRl] at 2:50 am
The last time I had a break up... I stayed in bed for 2 whole days. Getting up only to go to the toilet... refusing to do anything... I skipped school... skipped almost everything in my usual routine... it was bad... ask Yongyee... but she was there to help me get up step by step... then Erin came along one day as I was crying my sorrows out in bed.. after that.. step by step I got out of my rut and that was the turning point in my life...
time passed and I tot I will never have to go thru a break up ever again... unless my husband dies before me... okie... that is not really a break up... anywayz... I was determined to not let any man tear me down in that way EVER... So I made up my mind that I would not go into a relationship just to "try things out" and "see how".... I went into this one after some serious thot and we both have a mutual agreement that this is IT... we are going thru thick and thin not matter wad... there are clear ones that we know that we will be into.... and along the way there are issues to iron out... but the relationship is for the long haul... we are in this for good... However, spring past and so has summer... a new season has began... This is something that is inescapable... I cant... we cant... Not by might, nor by power, but by His spirit... A humanly impossible task to fulfil can only be done by His strength. A humanly impossible task can only find it's reason as doing it for God, so all glory goes to Him. When I broke the news to you, you broke down in tears... I was already in tears and I wonder why you were also crying. I got reminded of the times we spent in the room laughing at silly things... I remembered the time we were in the car laughing at everything... I remembered the times we just laugh til our tummy aches... and to see you breaking down becoz of wad I will be going through... as much as I do not know the reason for ur sorrows... I was glad... that there you are... you share my joy and now... you share my sorrows... you laugh with me and now you are crying with me... it doesnt matter why you are crying... what matters is that I know that there is someone whom I can share BOTH my joy AND my sorrows with. someone who will laugh AND cry with me... and for that... I THANK GOD... I have learnt... that it's not all about me... in fact.. it's not about me at all...! PERIOD... When I heard about your nightmare, my heart sank to hear and see the helplessness in your eyes. I really wanna give you a hug and tell you that it's all going to be fine... somehow or another... coz in Him all things hold together... When I read your blog entry, it made my heart sank to see that you were still disturbed by that dream... SILLY !!! Not like I am dying lo! hahaha and besides, if being in different churches is going to coz a strain in our friendship then the friendship aint that strong afterall... right? Okie, I am soundin like as if I am REALLY leaving. hmmm anywayz, u will always be my mentee as long as I can bless u. But come one day, I would love to see you be a mentor to somebody eventually! =) even then, I will stil be around MUAHAHA *poke and slap ur arm* I had an AWESOME and UNBELIEVABLE time in class today. Pastor Peter from Trinity Christian Center came and taught us. He showed us different arrangement and different dynamics that we can do to songs that are so old... and boring... songs that are sang week after week with a different intro... different chords arrangement... transitions of song from E to G in a different way.... transition of songs of different style... a semi-join song... building songs to another level... not even singing the whole chorus and go straight into another worship song... MAN!! 3 hours isnt enuff to digest everything that he had to say!! he brought his band and we had LIVE DEMO!! I so wanna be mentored by people like him... I have approached my lecturer on that... but thing is.. I cant becoz he cant see my worship leading segments... Which sucks becoz then I have no one to mentor me... anywayz... towards the end of class... he was sharing some stuff which he felt lead to and one of my classmates started crying and sobbing.. I guess he was ministered to then... afterwhich.. Ps Peter stopped what he was teaching and went into a ministering mode and he began to minister through songs and words... MAN... U can literally sense God's presence in that classroom... afterwhich, instead of continuing class as per normal... we went into a time of worship... just praising God and drawing near to Him.. refreshing our mind and soul... he speak of which the spirit led and MAN.... it hit right at me... it was so good and so refreshing... WORSHIP THERE WAS FANTASTIC!!! and not even the whole band was playing... this one worship was far more better than so many other worship sets... I felt so ministered even though I do not know the words of the songs that was sang.. All I did was to just be in God's presence. I WANT MORE....!! ENCORE!!! With that.. I suddenly felt a strong sense of strength and courage to face the things ahead... strange thing is.. Is was just meant to be a class... yet... the annointing of the speaker was so strong. I wish I get such things every week. I wil be overflowing with His spirit. Going back to wad I had started with... The real test isnt the fact that I obeyed wad He had laid in our hearts... obeying is still the "easy" part... the real test is that I am in obedience to Him but yet I am still able to sing praises unto Him for all that He has done. NOW... THAT's the tricky part. But nonetheless.. God is so good to have placed King David's life in the bible for me to learn so much from him. YAY! Hmmm just a thot... if only King David is still singing and dancing on earth right now... I would love to have him as my spiritual father =) like I said... Just a THOT... [lEfT oUr pRiNtZ__*__sIlLyGiRl] at 2:13 am
I think I am ready...
the 3 months time frame is almost up... Mutual agreement? CHECK Someone to walk thru this with us? CHECK No resentment? CHECK Knowing that God is with me and will bring me through this? CHECK Means and approach? CHECK Translator? CHECK Letter? ..... I really have no idea how to go about writing this letter... Although I know I have to do it... and will do it.. I really dunno how to tell her... God is the center in my situation and He is the reason I am doing this for... Say that I respect her as my mum that's why I am doing this? I cant... because the truth is I really DO NOT agree with certain thinking of hers... Say that I love her as my mum so I am doing this to make her happy? I cant.. because... I know I would hav fight it out with her if I am the one whom I used to be... Say I respect her views and think that she is right? I cant... because truth of the matter is... I dont... and I cant accept it... Say that I am doing this for her? I cant.. I am doing this not even for him... but for Big Daddy... Say that I realised I have made a wrong choice in life and he is not for me? I cant... truth is... I love him... I'm still struggling on how to get it across to her... and I am kinda stuck... so... LORD... pls HELP can or not?? toh long please??? GIVE ME WISDOM!!! *pout* but thanx for teaching me how to see from a different perspective and still able to love her in mist of all this... [lEfT oUr pRiNtZ__*__sIlLyGiRl] at 12:50 am
Me: While driving outta my head office this afternoon, I saw a monk opposite the road at a bus stop. Guess wad I saw him doing?
Debz: Digging his nose?? Me: ........ Why would I tell you that I saw a monk digging his nose...??! Debz: *laughter* then wad? Me: Guess la!! Something that you hardly find monks doing...? Debz: Was he using his hands? Me: Yes Debz: Okie, maybe I shall ask "Yes" and "No" questions. Both hands? Me: No (the conversation continued for abit, while "digging his nose" seems like the best-fitted answer) Debz: *burst out in laughter* Me: *something's not right* W..A..D..?? Debz: COMBING HIS HAIR?? Me: ........................................... *burst out in laughter* -_-||| Ladies and gentlemen.... MY SISTER....... =) [lEfT oUr pRiNtZ__*__sIlLyGiRl] at 2:28 am
*beams*
I had so much fun today!! Though it was just a short while, I had fun *beams* Though it was only Bishan Park, I had fun *beams* Though we saw two JWs, I had fun *beams* (ok, there isnt much link there) Though it was just blading slowly, I had fun *beams* Though it was just plain water, I had fun *beams* Though it was a short chat, I had fun *beams* We saw this grandfather cycling with his pretty granddaughter passing us twice, we waved a HI to the both of them. The little girl did not smile back, prolly thinking who these people are. =) But grandpa put on a warm smile and greeted us back. That was really sweet! I tot to myself and my heart warmed up *beams* Had a short chat... some options came up to my mind... shared some, didnt share some 1) spend the next season in australia while he continues to study here 2) suggested Master's Commission for him in australia, or USA and I will stay on here to work 3) asked to stop all leadership roles and move to another church for this season 4) take up the challenge to face it together in the same church, in the same country I needa pray even more... Lord, show me YOUR way.... [lEfT oUr pRiNtZ__*__sIlLyGiRl] at 11:50 pm
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