What do I Want?

Times passes by and even blogs will get extinct
especially blogs like mine,
not organized, uninteresting and filled with personal stuffs
then again it always acts as a medium of expression
you dont get to express a lot in real life
especially coming from an egoistic person like me
i guess i am confused

I cant avoid this been read by anyone
and perhaps i do want some one to read this
and then comes the reaction
and hoping the reaction would be something i want

but a heart is always filled with games and puzzle
what does it really want
fame?
attention?
love?
acknowledgment?

ask yourself what in the end drives you
cz if you are me
at a point where things doesnt seem right
and you are faced with difficult decision
only one thing drives you through
what the heart truly desires

i can acknowledge myself
i have me loving myself and all the love i can get from my family
i can get attention by beeing the outgoing, noisy guy
i dont need fame cz if i do, i wld have been a model by now
so what do i want?
there's this one word that is not mentioned at all in this whole thing
find it and complete the missing link :)

Sejarah Lama

Kerana aku hidup di atas kejayaan lama

Melihat situasi itu memberiku seribu satu kenangan
menggamit memori masa silam
tatkala aku masih kecil berdiri

bakat itu terletak pd tgn insan
yg diberikan kebolehan
kurniaan Allah SWT

rajinnya insan melakukan persiapan
backdrop, pentas, dan persembahan
owh indahnya saat tiada keraguan
tiada kerisauan :)

Dan Mulut yang Bisa Menutur~

Andai dilihat di sudut hati
nescaya ada sesuatu yg dirasai, difikirkan
betul atau salah, belum pasti
lantas insan yg terdetik di kalbunya
membuka mata pena
pena yang berbeza
tidak berdakwat tp bertinta
tidak tajam malah lembut menghias bahasa
sang mulut yg hebat berkata

Diam!!!
jika tidak tahu, diam
jika tidak berilmu, diam
jika khuatir, ragu-ragu, diam
diam!!!

sesunggunya diam itu lebih baik dr berkata-kata sebegini

I Call Myself A Poison

I wear my specs and hide myself
my presence enough could spark problem
my presence enough could hurt a person
things might not seem so at first
but at one point you will understand
I, one who passionately do something
will always loose something in return

Think and Aspire~

it's 11.19 pm as i start typing down. Its still early to some and to others it might already be late. but for sure, i am still awake reading n typing, reading n typing. how i wish i am always this hard-working. though i lack focus, i think as long as i do something n not just play candy crush, i am productive. many books waiting to be read on my shelf, especially the 'Socratic Epistemology'. And i look upon the dark skies, for the bright star. of how it shine of beauty even in a polluted city of London

Had i been this hard-working, there would be less procrastination. And i would have finished doing my work and be more knowledgeable. How i wish i would always be this way. but deep down, deep in the depth of my heart, a lil child is moaning, wanting to keep on enjoying playing games. Have i grown too fast?

As i continue reading this 50 page-report for my final year project. Oh to be clear, this is not my first paper. I'm not sure how many papers have i read but i think its more than 60 already. But i undestand not anything. it's because i tend to get too fed up with catching up with new things, i end up with words around my head without even understanding

Down almost to midnight, i am playing with my soul with these love songs accompanying my studies. People say just one year, but deep down i hope this fighting spirit remains forever...

To You~~

u might not be reading this
someone else does
well u might not even remember me anymore
because those years passed so fast

those times we shared laughter
shared smiles
shared our tears
and all those arguments
you couldn't stop but to think that we are always on the same side of the coin
and ended up giving up

to you
may you be happy
may you be successful
don't regret what has happened
reminisce all the moments
the distance be it time or space
is nothing but a real barrier
we are closer than you think

Seeking for Freedom~~

I once had an argument on freedom. That was long time ago, once upon a time when the brain was an active tool...
but today, the word 'MERDEKA' or independence has rang the word freedom once again. When people are looking for freedom, they seem to forget that they are human and human have limitations. but putting that aside, is doing whatever you want is freedom?

what are the extent of the word freedom?
this is totally on my opinion. but i wish to see this as the only truth.here goes...

let us put on a line of continuum, the level of freedom and call the very far right end is 'total freedom' and the other far end is 'total slavery'. In the ideal world we live in, i think nothing can be considered as total slavery because to the very least, a slave can still decide for himself of what to do and what not to do. And every mankind has their very own level of freedom based on their commitment and responsibility. A pious man in Christianity might have different obligation to those of a normal Christian what more to a person from other religion.

So let's talk about the one point that arguably has brought great controversy, 'total freedom'. Imagine a world of 'total freedom'. One is allowed to do as they deem to. Anything that seems interesting is okay to do, no rules nor regulations to obey. Is that even ideal? You think it is? okay then, let me put it this way. If i can do whatever i can, then i can easily steal things from you, beat you and it is my right as it's a 'total freedom' world. Oh now you want to claim that it is your right to ask it back from me and beat me? i don't care i can still do whatever i want to do...too bad

It is not ideal the word 'total freedom'. Not even slightly. It never exist and can never exist. Thus, it tells us that rules are needed to be followed. What rules are the most ideal? I hold upon the Islamic rules because my faith tells me that God knows what is the best for It's creation.

TBC

p/s: in the next talk of freedom, i'll talk about my views on rules and regulation in order to maximize freedom