Easter

Happy late Easter!! Alexys was so into it this year, it was great. She went to 4 easter egg hunts and knew what she was doing from the beginning. We did have some problems with her taking eggs OUT of other kids baskets though. She is getting so big. Aaron slept through the whole thing.

Alexys is having some problems lately with her reflux and rashes. We went to the allergist and he is doing some testing on her and she goes back at the end of the month. I hope we can figure out what is screwing her up soon. I dont know anymore if the problem is her reflux acting up, or just unknown allergies....or both.

pics from the park

pictures from the park yesterday, Alexys had a great time running all over the place for an hour...and boy did she sleep good last night :)


later she ate this pine cone

my baby is growing up

Alexys can eat with a spoon!! she has little spoons but usually just plays with them, or uses them to make a mess. We went to Golden Corral the other day, and my mom gave her a big girl spoon, and she used it to eat her corn like shes been doing it forever!! then tonight i gave her one again, and she ate all of her supper with it. My baby isnt a baby anymore is she???

what a good day!

I feel so refreshed today, its amazing what sleep can do for you!! Aaron slept from 1am to 5am, which was so great for him...and for me!!!! Alexys has been kind of whiny today but all in all it has been a good day. I even got a shower, dressed, and did the dishes. wow huh? :) It is so beautiful outside i hope this weather lasts for awhile!! We are going to go to the park when she gets up from her nap, I will post some pics later. I am so excited to be getting out of the house !! here are some pics from the last week.

i am getting worn down

Dh and I have been fighting like crazy lately, and between that and the kids needing me every second of the day I am starting to get really worn out emotionally. Why arnt these kids the most important thing in the world to him? Why do I have to beg him to accept the responsibility of being a dad? He was supposed to help me out with them today, but instead he went out last night until 6am this morning, and was too tired. AAAHHH like im not tired? like i wouldnt enjoy a day off, and just wake up and say "i dont feel like being a mom today i'll just take the day off"....he thinks this is a part time job that he can dictate when hes a dad and when hes not. Its frustrating. And he hasnt seen the kids all week, i cant imagine going that long and then NOT wanting to see them when the opportunity is there. Maybe thats the problem, I live for my kids, he lives for himself. I just dont know what to do to make him realize his kids need him. I am so tired, and I really want to scream.

i need sleep

I think Aaron is going through a growth spurt, yesterday he was up at 4:30 and slept maybe a total of 30 min all day. What did he do the rest of the day? Puked, nursed, and screamed. Today is a little better, but he will only sleep if i hold him. It's going to be a LONG day.

Alexys' eyeteeth are finally making an appearance!!! 2 of them have actually popped through and the other 2 arnt far behind. For the first time since shes been born, this kid has finally stopped drooling!!!!!!! No more teeth for awhile i hope, these 4 have been HORRIBLE.

He smiled!!!

I can't believe it, he smiled at me!! Of course he did it while he was nursing, go figure. I thought maybe it was gas but he has done it a few more times since then. It was just the most beautiful thing!!! Well now I can cross one thing off my list that I won't miss out on :)

wow im blogging

I'm not sure what I'm doing, but I figured I'd start a blog and be an official "blogger".

Well for those of you who know me (and for those who don't why are you reading this in the first place?) know that I have 2 beautiful babies, Aaron and Alexys. Alexys is 14mos old, and Aaron is 3 weeks. And most of you probably also know that their wonderful father kicked us out 2 days before Christmas, when I was 7 mos pregnant. Of course then all the good stuff came out, like the skank he was bopping, and how miserable he had been the whole time we were married , blah blah blah
I have to say, that even though he totally screwed my life up for the moment, it was the best thing he could have done for me. I am SO much happier now, even though I'm broke, can't make my rent or car payment, and am now a single mom.
Okay , on to the kids.
Alexys is a genius , a whiny genius, but a genius none the less. Aaron doesnt do much besides look cute and nurse...nurse...and nurse some more. I think he would be perfectly content to just stay on my boob until he enters college. I'm going back to work next week, and his whole world as he knows it is about to be turned upside down when he is introduced to the "fake" boob, aka the bottle.
I'm scared to go back to work, I dont want to leave my babies, and the fact that I'm leaving them with their father doesnt make it any easier....it actually just scares me more. He doesnt know them like I know them, and I doubt he'll take the time to get to know them. Alexys will be watching lots of tv, and Aaron will be getting a bottle shoved in his mouth every time he lets out a peep. I wont be there to put them to bed, to snuggle on the couch with Alexys when she is getting all sleepy, to nurse my sweet son to sleep, I am going to miss it. I am scared I am going to miss Aarons first real smile, his first attempts at rolling over, the first time he coos. And Alexys...well shes my world and every second without her is going to be agony. But I guess I can be thankful that I have a job, and can put a roof over their heads....even though this is going to be SO hard. Damn him, damn him for doing this to me. One thing I have realized though in these past few months is that I can do it without him, I dont NEED him to take care of my babies....I can do it myself and I will.