Grey Area

Saturday, October 22, 2005

3:46:00 PM

that's just the way it is
last 2 weekends has been a major screw up
does it always have to be this way?
who am i, i don't even know.
have i really changed so much?
doing things outta my routine..
what has gotten into me ?
the more you hold me down the more i wanna break free.
i don't wanna give a damn anymore.
u all are just pushing me off my limits.
time and time again i hide it inside.
i'll keep pretending i'm okae.
that's what life is, is it?
if you want,
restrain me somemore then, go ahead.
see how much more i can take it from you all.
go on, test me. i don't fucking care no more.

BITCHES.
what's happening? 5 becoming 4 ?
first one drifted. we put efforts in getting us back together
and when we thought everything was gonna be okae.
one came back, but now another one's drifting.
i see the anger and pain in all of us
what's going on?
it used to be 5 of us 1 problem cos we always shared it with each other
and now?
it's 1bitch 5 problems. why?
cos individually we're worrying for each other.
can't u all see what's going on?
yes, we can see maybe u're hiding all your pain,
but can't u see that we're still here for you?
maybe not now, but one day u'll realise it..

feeling so lost and confused.
sometimes it seems like the whole world is crashing down on me
time and time again,
i try to be strong.
but the more i try, the more tired i get.
i just wanna give up everything around me and not care
but can i?
there's still so many qns with no answers.
i can't be the perfect person whom i wanna be
everytime i try, it seems so impossible
i'm tired of everything around me.
all the pretending and acting.
i've kept it all inside all this while.
~~perhaps~~ i'll see how long i can take all these.
then one day whn it all falls apart
i'll walk away.
and i won't trun back,
not anymore
for i'm too tired to.

i just wanna be me.

-i remember how to love, you taught me how.

Monday, October 17, 2005

9:52:00 PM

recent events has drained me out
screwed up my life at one point.
now, i'm just lingering in the aftermath..

school's been okae
class is getting more fun except for modules like VB. =/
there's this toilet-going grp of us. simply made up of :
regina, evelyn, bern , fel and me. heh..
sometimes i jus can't wait for the breakouts
bcos that's the only time my bitches gets to meet up
there's so much to say sometimes..
too many qns with no answer..

anyway, ride the night is coming up..
looking forward to it..
not much mood to blog now, so i'll end here.

i'm not ~~fucking~~ okay. -mcr

Monday, October 03, 2005

10:03:00 PM

So, it's back to reality..
First day of semester 2.
new class = new friends ?! probably.
i miss pl0103.
i miss my bitches.

holiday was cool, but passed pretty quickly
i want moreee... =X

Anyway, went to the asean civilisation museum yesterday with kris and sarah
watched the sfx choir perform. Saw jared and mag also(:
later we walked along the singapore river.. saw fullerton, esplanade.. walked all the way down to clark quay.. realised Monks isn't there anymore. Am i slow or something?? okae don't ans that.
then sarah and kris went down to gardens
and i went to meet my dearest and her bestie,
helped them to ~~study~~ haha =//
ltr went to cherlyn's house and her dog is so DAMN cute. heh

today guess what!!
the first person i saw outside block N was DREY!!
was waiting for my honey bitch you see..
then along came this other person who shouted BBBIIITCCCCHH
so loudly in the morning.
But hey, i was happy to see her (:
it's pretty cool how my bitches and
pl0103 Yr1S1 ppl can keep meeting up..
like every single break!!!
there's nearly 10 ppl in block N from my ex class la?! (: heh
my class.. still quiet.
except the part where my team started bitching abt our fac.
haha i ~~started~~ it. LOL
anyway had SC meeting today..
like aft sucha long time pls.
felt so GUM with everyone in SC la ?!
mayb it's cos i'm not close to my class yet.. oh well..
feel so lonely.

let's look forward to a better tml ((: