Happy 18th Birthday, Bunso!!!

Sometimes, it may seem very difficult to deal with you --- perhaps it’s the generation gap or you’re simply a pain in the ass. But whatever it is, nothing will ever change and that you will always be our baby sister. I just hope that you’ll start growing up now that you’re already eighteen. You no longer have that excuse to stay childish, irresponsible or stupid. If you need a little push, you know you will always have me, your Ate Mags and Ate Ann to give you that little spanking from time to time. No matter how annoying our sermons are, I hope you get to realize that we’re doing this since there’s no Mama or Papa to lead you to the right path. Even if they are virtually there (through calls or text), it’s still not enough.

Grow Up... Chase Your Dreams... Have Fun

...but be sure to know your limits!

HAPPY EIGHTEENTH BIRTHDAY!!!

Because I Care

I grew up in a culture where repaying your elders for all their sacrifices is such a big deal. There’s no written agreement but it has been observed from generation to generation in my family. The tradition has been, my parents send me off to school and pay for everything then when I finish school and find a job, it’s payback time. A portion of my salary goes to them or to my siblings. I can’t complain but sometimes I waddle from self-pity to resentment especially when there are things I wanted to buy for myself or my immediate family yet cannot because the college tuition fees of my two sisters are already due.

Hubby’s parents are different. During the first few years of my marriage, I got into some disagreement with him over this so-called financial support given to my parents. He cannot understand the fact that I just can’t turn my back from my parents. However, later on, we’ve come to terms about how to deal with the issue.

Then I stumble upon this blog through Sassylawyer.

Your parents are responsible for raising you. You are not responsible for them. Although it’s honorable to make sure your parents have a good life, don’t do it out of guilt.

It sure hit me smack right within. While it’s true that parents are supposed to take care of their children and not the other way around, I still go on a guilt trip every time my parents would tell me the hardships they’ve been through. Papa has retired when I entered college and Mama’s meager income as hospital employee cannot cope with their daily needs. The modest revenue we get from my father’s piece of copra land and rice field is also not enough to send 2 college and 1 high school siblings to school so my parents would turn to me and my sister for a little support. I also can’t see myself living my life in luxury while my parents live in misery with nary a food on the table. No matter what happens, they are my parents, blood of my blood and nothing could ever change that. Maybe it’s not the tradition that compels us to support our parents when they age. It’s the circumstances that our parents are into. Had it been that they have silver platter on the table or a fat bank account, I’m sure they would never seek our help. I guess the best way is to snap out of that guilty feeling as what Small Potato suggests and think of it as a noble act.

I know these bits and pieces about my family are too personal to be roving in this blogosphere but I felt relieved. Earlier today, I said some mean things to my parents through text telling them how bitter I was for having to take on the responsibility of sending my siblings to school. It was awful I know but I said sorry. From now on, I will not be bitter anymore and whatever help I will have to extend will be done because I care.

Tough Times

Thank God it's finally Friday. The week has been a total fiasco both at work and at home.

In the office, we have quite a number of screw ups left and right. I always find myself staring blankly into space and suddenly felt my heartbeat racing madly. I still can't get over the fact that I have hugely marred my performance with that oversight. But if there's one person who makes things a lot easier for us that would be our boss. She's been really nice and considerate despite our inequities. In the corporate world, she really gave meaning to what command responsibility is. She is our shield from whatever negative force that's sucking this company. Kung kinahanglan duphan, duphan gyud niya. And with that I thank her.

Home has been a struggle too. Well, not really my home but my other home. My first home. But I've handled it after some harsh words sent to heaven knows and I'm terribly sorry. I know nobody's to be blame and that if life throws you stone, you just have to embrace it. Who knows one of these stones might be a gem.

I digress.

Now, I'm looking forward to what the weekend has to offer. I hope it's all good. And of course, the family's much awaited vacation in CDO next week is a well-deserved break.

(Posted via mobile phone and Globe GPRS)

Sisters

(Quadro Marias -- Matet, Magee, Moi & Maryann)

"Sisterhood is many things. It's warm smile on a cold rainy day, a friendly hug, a cheerful hello...It's all that a good and lasting friendship is, only better. It's treasured. It's sacred. It's knowing that there will always be someone there for you. It's dreams shared and goals achieved. It's counting on others and being counted on. It is real."

Last night, I had one of those moments when I felt that having a sister is a blessing rather than a curse. I had the best talk ever with my sister Magee. No bickering this time. Just talking and laughing about the silly things we did when we were still kids. Yeah, nostalgic indeed. We also talked about serious stuff too like sharing our frustrations about our other sisters who live with us. Being the eldest (me) and the second (Magee) in the brood of five and already working, we were responsible for our other siblings who are still studying. Two of them are still college students at USC. Maryann (3rd sib) is staying with me while Matet (4th sib) is staying with Magee. Both have different personalities and sometimes the pain in our asses. Sometimes we just wished that our parents are here in Cebu coz it's not easy raising grown-ups. But we are designated by our parents to be our sister's keepers so we have to live up to their expectations and that includes being uncool and killjoy sometimes.

Our talk moved into more deeper topics like careers and jobs and goals and plans in the future and her recent goiter operation. It was a heartwarming talk indeed. At 3am, we called it a night (or rather dawn). I hope we have more of these little talks coz sometimes we always find ourselves arguing and bickering like we used to be when we're still kids.