A month without her after a lifetime with her

It's been roughly a month since my sweet mom went to be with Jesus. With each passing day, some things get harder while some seem to get a tad bit easier. And then all at once I am completely overcome with grief at the mere mention of her name. Grief is such a strange emotion. It feels selfish in a sense. I mean I fully believe that my Mom is healed and whole, walking with Jesus, the only One she loved more than her family. But I can't help but want her here with us at the very same time. This past weekend we celebrated our first holiday without my mom and it seemed so fitting that it was Easter. You see, my mom believed fully in the redeeming, life giving, power of the cross of Jesus and the everlasting life that is promised through Jesus resurrection. The fact that she is now experiencing that everlasting life with her Savior, that is grounds for a celebration! So, for my precious daughter's first Easter and my first without my precious Mom, I dressed Hannah in one of the beautiful dresses my mom had hand sewn for me when I was her age and we posed for this picture in the garden at my church where we celebrated my mom's life and homecoming just a month prior. So, when I look at this picture, I see my mom, there with us in the garden, whole and healed, standing proud next to her daughter, with her hand resting on her precious granddaughter. That's how I choose to remember this day. I think that's how she would want me to remember it because she was there with us in the garden. I know she was.

Profound loss coupled with a fresh perspective

Well, I guess I took a bit of a blogging break to say the least, a two year one to be exact. Our family has grown by another two feet and welcomed our first daughter! We have experienced tremendous joy and are so grateful to the Lord for the addition of this precious life! However, we have also experienced incredible grief in this season. My mother passed away a little shy of a month ago. I have never in my life experienced such a profound loss. My mom was my very best friend. The first one that I wanted to call if something exciting happened, or the kids did something funny, or if I needed advice on how to approach a parenting situation with grace. She was the best at that. Parenting with grace. I am praying I can continue her legacy in that regard. She was also the kindest and most creative person I've ever known. I sure miss her. So, you can expect our blog to take a different tone, at least for now. Thank you for your patience as I use it as a means to process my grief and remember my mother. Here she is with her first granddaughter.

I will treasure this picture always. My daughter brought her so much joy. All her grandchildren did. I will choose to remember her this way and long for Heaven where we will all see her again. Because I know that the only One she loved more than all of us, was her Savior who she has now met face to face. What a beautiful sight that must be.

Tribute to my mom-Her Eulogy

My mom would never approve of me standing up here today. Not because she wasn’t proud of me, her daughters were her greatest accomplishment and joy. But because she was the most humble person I have ever known. She lived her life for others. She lived her life to honor her Savior. She served Him by serving His people. She prioritized her life as He has called us to. First God, then family, then others. She loved the Lord her God with all her heart, soul, strength and mind and exemplified that by loving others even more than she loved herself.

My dad, sister and I were the first beneficiaries of this extravagant love. My mom introduced me to Jesus when I was 7 years old as she illustrated the Gospel story on a piece of drawing paper one night after church activities. I have shared the very same illustration with my own children when they began asking theological questions. She had a way of making such profound truths understandable for even the youngest inquisitive mind. My mom was the preschool director at my church growing up. I have vivid memories of watching TV in her work room while she faithfully did lesson preparation. There was no Lifeway back then. She created all her own curriculum. She once modeled a lesson on creation out of a crystal light container long before Pinterest. I recently helped with Vacation Bible School at our church and the smell of the lamination machine took me right back to the hours she spent preparing to teach little ones about Jesus.

She brought creativity, excitement and loving care into aspects of family life as well.  It wasn’t until I became a mother myself that I realized that breakfast for dinner is what you serve when you’re short on time and ideas. My mom made it feel special and exciting, with strawberry topping and a little whipped cream. She made ME feel special by loving me with extravagant grace. She wanted nothing less for her grandbabies and always encouraged us to offer them grace and unconditional love while pointing them to Jesus. I recently realized my mom lost her own mother when she was just about my age. She and her young mom friends learned to parent as they went along. My mom drove carpool, checked homework, and she and her friends did multilevel marketing long before it was cool as they sold Discovery Toys and Pampered Chef from their living rooms so they could have the privilege of staying home with their children. She sewed and smocked beautiful dresses for us that she saved in hopes that she’d have a granddaughter to pass them on to. It brought her so much joy to see her handiwork on my daughter. She was one of the most creative minds I have ever known!

Her teaching career was one of her greatest legacies only overshadowed by her witness for Jesus and her care for her family.

Some of my earliest memories of my mom revolve around her role as teacher.  She balanced career and family with such grace. She was an educator by nature and she found ways to weave that into her family life by teaching at the church preschool when we attended there and only returned to the classroom once we were school aged. She made sure her schedule was our schedule and she’d be home when we were. She taught at Carrolton Christian Academy when we attended there before my father’s work re located him to the Houston area where she completed her years in the classroom at Fort Bend Baptist Academy. She was the Head of the English department at both institutions and made literature come to life for students and staff alike. Over the last few days, I've had the privilege of hearing countless stories of how she impacted others in her role as a teacher. I’ve read beautiful tributes from ex students who no doubt struggled, like I do, with the autocorrect function on their computer. (as an english teacher, mom simply would not have tolerated poor grammar)  Students and staff remember hearing the soft hum of her scooter as she collected supplies or attended faculty meetings. She even had a student who “borrowed” a grocery cart for her so she could use it to transport her supplies around the school. My mom decorated it for every season, leaves in the fall, and jingle bells at Christmas. She accepted her limitations in mobility with strength and grace. She impacted the custodial staff at FBBA immensely and I know many of you are here today to show your respects. Thank you for loving and supporting my mom so she could continue teaching. You got there early to help her get in the building with all of her teaching materials and put your work on hold in the afternoons to make certain she safely made it to her car. Your support ensured her teaching career did not end too abruptly when her body could not keep up with her mind.

Since my mom left us last Sunday, I have wondered a thousand different times how I am going to go on without her.  The answer came from a place I didn't expect -  When visiting my dad in the first days after my mother's death - My two year old son excitedly ran into their house and into the room where my mother use to stay.....-  he ran for the door calling out “Gran”, and opened it- only to find she was no longer there.  He quietly climbed up into her bed where he had often sat with her for hours coloring.  He picked up a crayon and began to color again. So how will I continue on without my mother?  I will continue doing what I have always done. I will comfort my children during sleepless nights. I will pack lunches, run carpool, attend parent teacher conferences. In this way - in the most menial and mundane - but somehow still the most meaningful aspects of everyday life, I will continue her legacy of love with every person I encounter.  I will prioritize my life as she taught me so well - I will love the lord my God with all my heart and with all my soul and with all my strength and with all my mind and I will strive to love others much more than I love myself.  That's how she lived, and that's how she would want us to live, too.  so I will continue on until the day we meet again in Heaven and I will do everything in my power to make sure she is able to welcome each of her grandchildren to His Throne to join her in singing praises to our King.

Life Lately

I know my blog posts have been so infrequent that I doubt many of you are still following. For those of you that are, I really appreciate your interest in keeping up with our family! I am hoping to get back into documenting some of our fun milestones on here now that we are a family of 5! But today my heart is in a different place. My sweet baby celebrated his half birthday just the other day and we will be forever grateful for his life and the joy that he has brought us! We have loved every day he has been here. He is truly a blessing! He is just what we all needed; a sweet, cuddly, laid back baby! He came into this world with an easy delivery and has been easy on his Momma and Daddy ever since! That being said, life has been hard over the last 6 months. I have had a series of health issues spanning from simple little hiccups like pink eye to a 5 day stint in the hospital to receive IV steroids. Currently I am sporting a real live eye patch (upping my cool status as a boy mom). It has been hard and I have craved community while struggling with having to admit I don't have it all together. In this world of peppy Facebook statuses and text messaging, I long for community that happens face to face (eye patch and all). My sweet husband has been amazing and those who I have opened up to have been more than willing to help! It encourages me to be more vulnerable, which has always been a really scary place for me. Will you pray with me that the Lord will continue to draw me to this place and carry our family through whatever is to come? Thank you for loving us so well!

Pumpkin Patch 2013

I am understandably behind in blogging, but am going to try to catch up. I have several blog posts going, but am going to post pumpkin patch pics out of order because they are just too fun to wait! We took our "pumpkins" to the patch and they all cooperated so well for their Momma and her silly desire for perfect fall pictures! 

I'm so grateful to the kind lady who offered to take our family's picture and did such an amazing job!

I love my three little pumpkins!

Seth was one month and one day old in these pictures and snoozed through the whole ordeal.

His big bros showed him how to pose and smile for the camera.

10 years old

8 years old

1 month old

I couldn't be more proud of these 4!

This is Jonathan's happy place! He would hold Seth all day if he didn't have to go to school!

Seth Ryan Albus

 Seth Ryan Albus

9/18/13 12:38 pm

6 lbs. 11.3 oz

18 in.

Our sweet boy came at exactly 39 weeks and is as perfect as can be! I couldn't have asked for a better labor and delivery! Our boy was ready to go and came just 2 hours after we got to the hospital! Here he is getting his first bath from our favorite nurse, Maryanne! She was his nurse the entirety of our hospital stay and though they had a ton of babies to care for (hello, full moon) she made us feel like we were her only patients!

 I was a little tired that first night, but was too excited to sleep!

 He is a smiley little guy!

 Our first family photo as a party of 5! The big boys got to come up to the hospital right after school both days we were there and enjoyed alternating getting to know their baby brother and playing with the Legos Aunt Sarah gave them! ;)

 This wasn't a posed picture! They were just so interested in him! Jonathan even counted all his fingers and toes!

 This guy has fully embraced his new role of big brother and wants to hold him all the time!

 This proud Daddy is loving having 3 sons!

I love this one of him "praying!" Ha!

I will write another post soon about our visitors at the hospital and going home. I just knew my sweet sister would be itching for more pics of our little guy!

It's a ...

 BOY!!!

 We are all Thrilled!!!