Caught in a Bad Romance

Just 2-3 months ago, I blogged a post about my unexpected dating encounter with a fellow medic. Alas, as you may already have guessed from the painful lack of updates, that things didn't really quite work out between me and Mr Medic.

Yes I know. Our lack of chemistry boiled down to several reasons. Kiasu-ism, being un-adventurous etc etc........ Let me illustrate with these examples.

1) Being Un-adventurous

== Conversation about Traveling ==

Me: I'm planning a dive trip to Maldives during my month off...
Mr Medic: Wow! Diving! Who are you going with?

Me: Oh, just me, myself and I.....*grin*
Mr Medic: Seriously? That's quite dangerous for a girl to travel herself.
Me: Oh, this isn't the first time I've gone solo. I went Egypt myself for 2 weeks after my finals last year. Its pretty scary but its also pretty exciting.

Mr Medic: Hur hur........I usually go on these package tour holidays with my parents....

*Tip for Guys*: Most girls tend to dig sporty athletic guys often because these are usually the blokes that aren't afraid the take the lead. Something about being independent and outdoors makes a guy look more manly, which tricks us into thinking you are strong enough to protect us. On the other hand, admitting that all the travelling you've ever done were with your own parents on package tours, makes you look like you are too passive and not proactive enough to seek out an adventure on your own.

== Conversation about Hobbies ==

Me: So what do you usually get up to these days when you are off work?
Mr Medic: I play badminton on Sundays. Or usually DOTA when I'm at home. I'm studying for MRCP (medical exams) part 1when I'm off work. I'm quite boring.

*Tip for Guys*: Never admit that you are boring. That is one sure way to kill off any sparks of interest a girl could have in you. Remember how everyone seemed interested about the cool mysterious guy in high school? Keeping a little personal trivia to yourself and we'd be curious to dig more information about you.

2) Being Kiasu (afraid to lose)/competitive

== Conversation , getting late...(10pm) ==

Mr Medic: Its getting late and I'm on call tomorrow...
Me: Yikes....Good Luck for tomorrow!
Mr Medic: Yeah, I think we'd better call it a night. Got to sleep early before my call.
Me: Sure......I understand.....(shrugs).....
(ouch, but that was direct!)

*Tip for Guys* Please don't end the date so abruptly and bluntly even if the your reason is perfectly acceptable. It makes the lady feel that she isn't worth your time. Surely there must be a better way to put this.

== Conversation: Chatting about a few mutual colleagues ==

Me: Yeah I know GJ. He was one of my colleagues when we did General Surgery together. He's a really friendly and helpful guy.
Mr Medic: I really look up GZ. He gets along with his seniors and juniors really well. Knowledgeable and hardworking. Reliable and always eager to lend a hand. He won the best housemanship award during his year you know?
Me: Wow really! I'm not surprised though....
Mr Medic: Yar. So did JY and C when they were at the same hospital. Did you see their faces on some poster on the walls?
Me: There's a poster of them?...I don't think I've ever seen it...
Mr Medic: Yeah a picture of them smiling and posing with their awards. Damn, I feel like I need to get one of these awards too!
Me: Hur hur......(Competitive streak!)

*Tip for Guys*: Geeks may be hot only because they tend to be intellectual, shy and yet nice. Nerds tend to be motivated but competitive, in an unattractive self-centered kind of way.

== Conversation: Getting patient's compliments ==

Me: Your name was on Dr Ng's power-point presentation this week. You were one of the medics on the list for receiving some patient's compliments.
Mr Medic: Oh really? (Gets excited) Darn! I should have been there to see my own name on the screen!
Me: Haha.....totally!

(I'm not that excited but actually my name was on the list too.........hmm......)
Mr Medic: So....tell me..........how many compliments did I get?

*Tip for Guys*: Pretty obvious, but self grandiosity often reveals a narcissistic personality, which is a definite turn off.

==========================================================================

I like to conclude this entry with a really Lame conversation I had with Mr Medic. One that perhaps killed all possible chances of any future possible sparks I could ever have with this guy.

*warning* LAMEness alert

================ Lame Conversation ==================

Mr Medic: Hey L is your cousin isnt she?

Me: Yup!

Mr Medic: She's going steady with CY for now.......

Me: Really???? She obviously hasn't updated me about her love life!

Mr Medic: Better don't tell her that it was me who divulged this....oh dear!

Me: Its alright, I'd probably dig it out from her one of these days anyways.......hehe

Mr Medic: Yar.....and maybe you can ask your cousin for some........you know.....Love Tips .........like how she got together with CY. Hehehe.

Ewww........Uughhhh

Dive Diary 2: Maldives, Indian Ocean (October 2010)

Choosing the Maldives as my next diving destination was a relatively simple and quick task when the decision was narrowed down by several factors I took into consideration:

1) the proximity (Male, the capital of Maldives, is just a 4 hour flight from Singapore)

2) its notorious reputation for possessing an abundance of coral reef life (blessed by the fact that the Maldives is essentially a realm of thousand islands/or a garland of atolls)

3) weather predictability: all year diving season (so the websites claim)

4) lots of warm clear blue waters and plenty of sunshine (a definete plus factor!)

5) higher chances of catching big creatures like whale sharks and manta rays in action

So I packed my snorkel mask, a brand new pair of fins and booties, rash guard, my brother's board-shorts, some swimwear and a dive computer (borrowed from a kind friend) and I was good to go!

The Baby on the Boat

Much to my pleasant surprise, I ended up being the youngest crew member on board the Sea Queen. Most of the other divers were Brits. There were 3 married couples who had logged many years of diving experience, and 4 married men that had decided to travel solo as their spouses did not dive. I was quite the odd ball. The only asian and the lone girl on the trip. Quite a contrast compared to my previous dive trips, where the younger crowd I mingled with were definitely at least 10 years within my age range.

A simple weathered Vessel

The Sea Queen may not a strike one as a fancy boat by first impression, but the humble vessel housed the essential amenities necessary for a diving trip without need for unnecessary luxuries such as spas and jacuzzis. We shared 6 comfortable twin cabins with ensuite bathrooms, ate our meals in 2 dining areas (indoors and outdoors) and utilized the top deck for sunbathing.

Due to the limited capacity on the Sea Queen (12 occupants max), I ended up sharing a cabin room with W, a lovely Dive instructor from England.

The Devils of the Sea

Manta Rays are perhaps one of the biggest reasons that attract divers from all around the globe to this part of the ocean. And fortunately unlike their cousins (the stingrays), these gentle giants do not have stinging electrical barbs that inflict fatal wounds.

The timing for this dive was just right. During the months of May to November, a lunar tide usually pushes against the southwestern current, creating a suction effect that pulls in the plankton in. While may compromise visibility, it is essentially this gigantic plankton broth that draws in the bigger fish like manta rays and whale sharks. We were dropped off at Lankan, which was one the popular sites for Manta watching. It was here that we witnessed large numbers of Mantas flock to this cleaning station for their daily ''cleansing spa ritual''.

The best Manta encounters were done in early in the morning, as we wanted to avoid competing for space with the usual throng of divers that came by mid-morning. The dhoni (boat that ferried us to our dive sites) was out by 6:30am in the morning, and by 7am we were plonked into the cool waters.

My first-hand experience of diving with these big Devils caught me by surprise. After reaching the Manta's cleaning station, I propped myself in a comfortable sitting position amongst the corals, taking extra precaution to avoid treading on any rock that resembled a deadly stonefish. My gaze was initially focused downwards as I tried to make out any trace of a round disc that blended with the surroundings of the ocean floor. I have to thank my dive buddy, who nudged me to look upwards when I wondered what had caused this sudden blanket of darkness to descend out of nowhere.

So I cocked my head up and was immediately struck by the sight of an expanse of greyish-white underbelly barely few inches above my face mask, gliding across and moving silently through the plankton rich waters. I crumbled down and turned around. Not a single sound broke the tomb-like silence as dozen more Manta rays appeared out from the distant blue and soared above us.

We frantically got our underwater cameras to snap some pictures. But to capture these movements on static frames was nothing compared to witnessing the rays flap their wings gracefully in rhythmic undulatory motion.

Amongst the action, we got to witness how the cleaning ritual was performed. The Manta rays would glide towards the cleaning point, hover for a few seconds and open their oval mouths to allow cleaner wrasse to polish off crustacean parasites from their skin and gill cavities.

We also tried to identify each Manta, based on their distinctive and unique belly markings, looking out in particular for the biggest ray known as the lady ''Butterfly'', whose wingspan stretched across 4 metres.

The Mantas obviously enjoyed our company, and hung around the cleaning station for a while. It was amusing to see several Mantas deliberately hover above us, playfully inhaling our stream of bubbles and expelling it forcefully via their gill slits whenever they choked.

As the locals say, an encounter with the Mantas, is hardly ever forgotten.

The Washing Machine

One of the most challenging drift dives I have ever done (though not many to date, to be exact) was the Cocos thila. As soon as we plunged straight into the waters, I could feel the surge of strong currents pushing towards the reef.

Off I went, drifting like a ''garden pea'', as another diver J called it. The pull of the currents was strong and to put it ridiculously, I was swept away like a rag in a tumble dryer.

I tried flailing my arms and legs about to create more drag force to slow down drift across the reef. It was useless, so I gave up and exhaled my way down, started grabbing corals on the sandy bottom of the reef like a infant struggling to crawl its first steps. ''

The other divers were fighting against the pull of the current as well, clinging onto any fragment of protruding rock to prevent early separation from the rest of the dive group.

Our patience and initial struggles were rewarded after we managed to get brief glimpses of several reef sharks 10 minutes into the dive.

Much to our relief, we were forced to abort the dive half an hour later at the depth of 30 metres. We were grateful that at least some one was sensible enough to realize that it was not so enjoyable diving under those strenuous conditions.

The Prettiest Dive

Watch this space for more diving pictures

;)

Batam Island, Sept 2010

To see photos in chronological order, start from Bottom of post.

Everyone should try para-sailing, it is less scary than it looks. 15 minutes in the air was sufficient for us to get a aerial view of the island.

Check out the ''Jumbo King Prawns'' the kelong restaurant promised to serve us. Parasailing was fun, effortless and relaxing. Eric, our convoy captain leader. The romantic walk to the Jetty. Voyage homebound to Sg after a relaxing weekend at Batam.

The Jetty Pier at Turi Beach Resort. Walking along the wooden planks to the Jetty. The journey along the way.

The bow. Turi Beach resort watersports facility-offers snorkelling, wakeboarding, knee-boarding, jet-skiing, flying fish, parasailing. The marina at Nongsa, where we docked.

The flying fish-a head-neck bumping contraption that literally allows the passenger to ''fly'' in the air while the boat speeds across the sea. Walking along the shaded paths from Nongsa Resort to Turi Beach Resort. The Beach-slightly was cleaner than Singapore, but at least it wasnt superficial.

Batam Nongsa Island Resort. Architecture was reminsicent of the colonial times. The Resort Lobby, where we were served refreshments-Fruit cocktail!

Setting off in a convoy. prepping the boat on arriving at the Marina. The Captain. The Crew.

Family Day Out 10th September 2010

Cruising around the Southern Islands on the Jetskis. The Marina. The boat Jetty.

Maybe dinner by the sea, perhaps? ;)

what makes you Happy?

1) Going for a sweaty heart-pounding Run

I absolutely love being outdoors and in touch with nature. The thought of breathing in the scent of the palm trees infused in the air, feeling the sea breeze caress across my face as I jog along my new neighbourhood, knowing that everyone else is asleep in the quiet dark hours of the morning gives me a invigorating natural pick-me-up before I start off a stressful day at work. Exercise has been a rare privilege these days due to my long working hours and 1-in 4/5 days on call schedule.

2) Being out in the sea/swimming in the ocean

Something about looking across the expanse of blue ocean stretching beyond the horizon and dipping into the salty waters to swim amongst colourful fishes gives me a sense of freedom and wonder about God's infinite creation. Call me a Water Baby, I can't help but reiterate how therapeutic the sea is for me. Possibly due my early childhood exposure to the sea as a young kid, I've always wished I had the time to pick up more water sports like wind surfing, surfing and free-diving, or dive and go sailing more frequently. I've raved about my trip on board a luxury yacht White Rabbit 4 years ago, which has been one of the most exhilarating family holidays I've ever been on. And I can't wait for the same yacht to dock at our Jetty soon!

3) Being able to express my opinions freely

Interestingly so, I think I've tempered down quite abit since starting my job as a houseman. Only because my work has taught me to listen first, choose your words carefully, then speak at the right time. It took a lot of discipline for an impulsive random sputtering person like me!

I recently dug through this archive and re-edited some old posts, re-shuffled some scrappy bits, re-opened an old blog, and started my own version of twitter www.charminglanguage.blogspot.blogspot.com

4) Being in the company of loved ones

Seeking solitude and self-isolation from the world every once in a while can be peaceful and therapeutic, only for a while. Whats the point of staying in a 5 star hotel/resort when you have no one to share that experience with?

5) Re-exploring childhood haunts

We would assemble old card-boxes, bedsheets, books, chairs and tables to create imaginary houses, bike along our neighbourhood to trespass houses in mid-construction, run in the middle of the night to the nearest 7 eleven store for a midnight snack, explore nature reserves and long-kangs (drains) despite the sweltering heat, or even get the random urge to do baking at the oddest hours.

6) Getting connected with other believers

I guess its because I've had the most extra-ordinary conversations with very ordinary people who have unwittingly inspired me with crazy stories about how God has changed their lives.

7) Being able to be creative

One of the gifts I've truly been blessed with and am hoping to use in a big way for God's purpose in my line of work some day. I love coming up with ideas/concepts/creating possibilities/being entrepreneurial.

8) Groovin baby

Swingin' my hair in the wind without giving a care what the world thinks, salsa dancing in skirt and heels, jumping around like a goof-ball, dancing in sync with a totally random stranger, pop-locking out in the open streets can be thoroughly exhilarating! I dance for what I feel and for an image I wish to portray. I strongly believe that we should use Dance as a creative and healthy expression of our inner emotions.

9) Being ignorant*

We tend to be more depressed, stressed, short tempered as we grow up, often to the point that we sometimes forget to take a deep breathe, appreciate the things around us and have some fun. I believe in keeping things with God's perspective. I'm not suggesting that we should shun ourselves from the world and be ignorant of other's needs. But choosing to rest in green pastures once in a while , knowing He is taking care of everything, can truly be bliss if you choose not to be concerned with the trivial and temporal equities in Life.

10) Helping others

I guess this is the one of the strongest reasons why I'm hanging onto my job, which drives me insanely nuts at times. Though the practice of Medicine itself can be occasionally mundane and boring as a routine, I'm thankful for those odd unexpected patients who don't complain despite their discomfort, yet deservingly require your attention . They don't realize that their kind words of appreciation only motivate me to serve them better :)

Now I'm not too hard to please am I? :)

What makes You Happy?

it could be something new

It is certainly not too surprising for readers out there to guess that I've been labelled as a notoriously hard to please/impress princess/fuss-pot by my friends.

See previous blogpost: The Princess Syndrome

I have been asked by colleagues/friends countless number of times if there has been a lucky guy (or least any guy) in my life since my move back to Singapore.

Just in case you were fishing for a hopeful happy possibility of a yes? maybe?kinda?....an honest truthful honest answer would be not....yet. Hmm.

I've been in too many situations where I've dodged really friendly, smart, caring, nice great guys, most of them with whom there had been a existential twinge of attraction. In those sheer fleeting moments, I've nipped those opportunities in the bud along the lines somewhere (I have no idea how, but oddly I seem to be gifted in doing so) so much that I've pretty much stalled all the beginning possibilities of ''what-ifs'' and ''could-have-been''s during of the past few years of my life.

As a result of my own shyness (contrastingly, against my outer appearance of independent nonchalance and disregard for romance or trivial things), I have been.........(as my parents would have put it bluntly):

Left on the shelf....(gulp!)

Unlike the Straits Times infamous editor, Singapore's ''Bridget Jones''/'''Carrie Bradshaw'' Sumiko Tan, I had not plucked the balls to openly publicize my loneliness too often and too large-scale. Except in this post, readers might detect a slight unveiling of my inner yearning for a relationship/romantic sparkle. (I'm kinda suprised by my own boldness and lack of embarrassment . Heh.)

Sticking to my new resolution of ''Screwing What-ifs'' and going for the plunge every once in a while, I decided to take a few baby steps, not too radically different from my usual conventional dating principles.

Now please don't snort or laugh hysterically and taunt me for being too fastidious.

But imagine how incredibly queer it would be (especially for a goal orientated person like myself), to go out with another busy individual (in a profession you swore never to be acquainted with) you have barely only spoken 2 sentences with. A breed of a system/mindset, for which you've looked upon with much disdain and dislike. How utterly WEIRD.

I have not been blown away by the full sparkle of it at all, partly because I've not interacted much with this bloke enough to know him as more than a friend. Not saying that I'm not gonna give it a try. I'm still pretty impressed by his guts to ask a almost complete stranger out. Plus, Life's really too short to pass all your chances yeah?

I used to hate mushrooms growing up, but now I adore their strong musky taste.

Sometimes Life can play uncanny tricks on us eh?

The worst of Pediatrics

You can never say you've dealt with a difficult parent until one educated/impatient/emotional/highly strung one has shouted at you in front of the ward.

I started out with an avid liking for Paediatrics as a medical student, despite repeated warnings by many predecessors that the deal with Paeds was really more about the parents than the kids themselves. It has only been 2 months. And sadly, as much as I would have wished for so otherwise, my interest in this specialty has lost much of its initial sparkle and somewhat dwindled due to a several number of nasty experiences.

I've bore the brunt of a full blown words of anger raised at me for failing to set an intravenous plug in a patient twice in the middle of my night call. I remember for most the account, being so shocked to the extent I was rendered dumbstruck and speechless that I was unable to refute any incoming argument that the angry father threw towards me. All I could muster was a few words of my apologies, sputtered pathetically in staccato as I stood frozen to the ground, and widened my eyes like a guilty idiot who was close confessing to her crime. Needless to say, it took a significant amount of will power but I held back my explanation, with the knowledge of the fact that often in such intense nerve-wrecking situations, logical explanation would fall off the ears of those who are too emotional to be rationale.

But then again, was it even a crime? To have failed despite trying my utmost best to set an intravenous plug in a chubby infant with difficult tortuous veins?

I've had yet another unpleasant experience that taught me, never ever to allow a parent, no matter how persuasive and insistent they are to accompany the child, into the treatment room to witness the painful procedure of setting an IV plug on their child.

My scarring experience was with an emotional mother of a kid who needed an IV plug for medication following a recent diagnosis of Kawasaki disease. The young mother insisted on accompanying her fretful child, who had already started wailing and bawling her eyes out even before we entered the treatment room. We wrapped the child in blankets and pinned her down to minimize any physical struggling that would be disruptive to the needling procedure. It was a intensely challenging task, to keep the writhing child forcibly still, insert a IV plug into non-existent veins that really did not appear prominent against the colour of her skin, under the watchful ominous glare of the kid's anxious mother.

What ensued during the next few minutes was uncontrollable bursts of sobbing and tears punctuated by spells of high pitched shrieking and spillage of blood amidst the frenzied exchange of needles, drip sets and tubes between several pairs of hands. It was utter chaos. So when the young mother eventually lost control of her emotions, she pleaded with tearing eyes and told me not to ''torture her daughter any more'' as it was painful for her to see her daughter ''suffer''. It was heart wrenching, yet in spite of all explanation to the mother as to why the IV plug was needed for the bigger picture (i.e treating the underlying condition, reducing morbidity and mortality from fatal complications that may occur if this was left untreated.) I could only apologize profusely for the amount of pain inflicted on her daughter during this much needed procedure.

The whole episode ended terribly, with the younger mother demanding for another senior cover to do the IV plug setting instead (as she doubted my experience and ability) and another hot-tempered nurse who grew increasingly patient and stormed out of the treatment room before we completed the procedure.

I spent a good number of weeks reflecting on these experiences, feeling miserable and depressed about my inadequacies as a junior doctor and incompetency to deal with difficult human behaviour. And sometimes I do wonder if I seriously love communicating with crazy parents enough to pursue Paeds as a career. I guess every job as its ups and downs. What makes this current posting more unbearable then it already is, lies with the interaction with a stereotypical Singaporean parent who often tends to be frequently impatient, stubbornly unforgiving, at times blunt and rude. The ones to be really feared are the educated affluent parents, who have the means and resources to file a lawsuit for every unsatisfied expectation and every unmet demand.

Alas, Dad's right when he said that 2 hardest things in life to manage 1) People 2) Money