Standard Chartered Marathon Singapore 2011

Yet another week has past. I'm here officially for 1 month. How have things changed? More work, more more and more work. I've arranged my own desk yet not fully personalised to what I like totally. Still don't feel perfectly comfortable to do everything I like, there is still some reservation.

My desk.


Saw some interesting booth while having lunch the other day. Some dispenser that sells Reverse Osmosis water (RO water). I have yet to try it though, don't have any intend to anyway. hahha.. Just thought it was interesting.


Had our first marathon together =) SCMS 2011. Where we started and ended together.

Before the marathon...


After the marathon

Like no diff hor.. A relaxing run/walk in the early morning. haha..

I wonder how many more runs we'll join together.. hmm.. I'll looking at KL stand chart next June, or Gold Coast next Aug. Shall see which one is more economically feasible.. haha..

Another week in KL

Another week in KL.. and this are some of the places that I've been to for the past week. Some a bit older, just got the time to post it now.

First up.. Went to Marco Polo Restaurant, at Wisma Lim Foo Yong. An award winning restaurant which offers dim sum on weekends morning. Tried out many of the dishes, and a little too many.. can't finish all.. hahah... Out of the dishes we tried, I think the scallop dumpling is the best. The prawn dumpling had a very nice and chewy taste.


To be honest, the food is decent only. Not as good as what I would expect for an award winning restaurant + the price is ex. For those dishes, 2 of us paid RM 103. Would only go back there if there's a need to bring parents to a more comfy place or showing client around.

Next up, went to Seremban to get their famed Seremban Siew Pow. Tried it on the spot, and it's GOOD. A factory that caters to large tour group by the side of the NS highway. For a price of RM 1.30 each, you can eat till you drop. Eat it while it's hot..


As we were there, we went to try out their " Mince meat Lao shu fen " at Restoran Yi Poh.

In Malaysia, as long as you move out of KL, it becomes very affordable. This bowl of Lao shu fen cost RM 3. Full of minced meat coupled with a specially made sauce, it has an unique taste. The softness of the Lao shu fen is just nice, but it's not really that good that I'll want to go back again.


At night, we went to Petaling St ( China Town in KL ) to grab a bite. So many imitation goods, non that interest me. We went straight to grab a bite. The Lok-Lok caught our attention and it has 2 different types of preparing. The normal way of boiling it and the other one to BBQ it. I prefer the BBQ one though. Plus, they will BBQ it for you ! just sit back and enjoy. lol..

Penang Marathon 2011

Did my first Overseas Marathon =)

First came up with this idea a couple of years ago.. initially wanted to go with Mindy de. But so far it has not happened, due to time and some other issues here and there. Anyway, I enjoyed my run in Penang.

The run starts an unearthly hour of 3am. @_@ so that means I needa wake up at 1am to prepare myself. Whose body in the right mind will be at top condition for a marathon? Seriously .. lol. The run was cooling, very cooling at that wee hours, and that's the good thing. Terrain of it was all on tarmac, and gentle upslopes that can go on for 2km. The 2km upslope up penang bridge was tiring actually. It was gentle, yet so long it tires the calf muscles.

Shot taken at Penang bridge..


The Malaysian runners aren't exactly a fast bunch. Or perhaps not that many elite/ serious runners join it. I was running at a very comfy pace of 2hr and I think I'm in one of the faster pack. With a pace of 1hr 40, i think can claim a top 10 position.

Anyway, I think overseas race is a fun experience. Especially because the route is totally new to you, and there's no boredom while running as every step you take is something that you've not seen before. Furthermore, you get to pig-out after the race with new and interesting food !


In the end, had to preserve my leg due to the recurring ITB that has never managed to heal. Last race was 2 weeks ago, Newton 30km. HAHHA... lin keeps asking me to let it rest before going for next run. And the next run is next weekend, Standard Marathon =D Woohoo..


Adding another medal to my Finisher's medal collection. =)
I just enjoy the feeling of passing the finishing line.

Penang is a place that I've been to so many times yet there are still food that I want to try. This time I went to the famous Ayer Hitam Penang Laksa stall. By the Ayer Itam Market. For a price of RM 3.30, you get to enjoy a bowl of sumptious Penang Laksa. I've tried many different Penang Laksa in Penang, and I would say this is one of the better ones. =)

The soup was sour and spicy at the correct proportion, Sour enough to make you want to drink more yet not that spicy that you will perspire. The noodle was of the correct softness too; A little QQ. Overall, I would recommend one to try this stall if you are in Penang.


I'll be going around many many parts of Malaysia, in fact all the different states in Malaysia. And I'll be blogging about all the nice food that I try along the way. Can't wait to embark on the food journey... (While on work trips )

busy busy busy

One week in KL.

It's been so busy and packed everyday at work that I don't have much time to go around exploring. Non-stop working is draining and that results in me not wanting to look at the com once I'm home.

For the past few days, I come home to watch DragonBall Anime. Trying to learn Canto from it. haha.. but limited progress with my limited understanding. Thankfully it's a show that I enjoy watching since young, it's much more enjoyable learning through this.

Living alone has it's pros and cons. Doing everything alone isn't exactly that bad. Just have to take some time to do it. Especially when at the end of the day, you are the one looking at what you have clean up, it feels good to see everything neat and clean and back in it's position. Have been looking forward to living in my own space for some time, didn't expect it to come so fast actually.

Finally have my own table at work, no longer being a nomad le. Being able to settle down at a table allows you to focus better without the need to reacclimatize. Now the work is in full swing, I've got to speed up my work rate. The "wait and see how " attitude here is bad. many things are always being left in that situation and gets delayed till the very last minute. That shall not happen to me. I'm going to pester them till they do it and get things done.

Managing 10 outlets here is a challenge. Such a major change in my job scope from before. It's totally different, surely an exciting challenge. Without any marketing background, less 1 MKT 1003 module, it is a little difficult to do some things. Thankfully I have a handy Marketing manager under me. Been learning a lot of things from her. Kinda fun actually. I enjoy marketing, a dynamic part of the market which constantly changes. You never know what you do really suits the market a not and you just got to try it.

In the next 2 months, I have a super pack agenda and targets to hit. 31st Dec is my dateline for many of my activities and I'll see by then how much I've achieved. Sure hope I can hit each and everyone of it. 6 weeks to go, time is short. Gotta act fast.

Jia you ba.. =)

Zee

Relocation to KL

It's finally here.

I'm living and breathing the air of KL for real.

Reached here on Wed late night 1am, opening the door of my apartment. Opening a door to a room of darkness. The feeling is surreal. The reality sets in that I'm all alone here fending for myself. I believe that I have no problem staying alone, as I've always being self sufficient. But there is a thin line between alone and lonely.

The feeling when you open a door and there's no life inside isn't exactly that nice. Somehow I miss the days where I open the door to see mum sitting there watching TV. Yes, it's only being day 2 and that's the feeling I got.

Having a space all to myself is a good thing, something that has been missing in my life for the past few years. Studies, tuition, work, training etc. I guess I overloaded myself to a certain extent, but it was indeed fufiling. Now here with a new lease of life and a brand new start, I shall find my own balance and enjoy the life here. For life in KL, there's nothing for me after work and it's up to me how I want to spend it. First thing on my mind, is to resume the recereational activities that I used to enjoy. Snooker, Running/Swimming, top 3 priorty at the moment. I aim to lead a healthy lifestyle here and that means no liquor and late night supper.

Next, upgrading of my limited skills which includes Microsoft excel, Photoshop, Bridge as well as new skills such as Piano if the teacher wanna accepts a 25yr old stiffy fingers student. It's a lofty ambition to learn that now, but well the saying goes " Never too late to do anything " isn't it?

With this entry, it'll be the beginning of this blog's revival. I will disconnect myself from facebook very soon because of the large number of Msia colleagues that have me on it. I do not want them to know my life here due to privacy. It's different when you are in a superior position. People gossips behind you. So the best is to leave minimal things for them to talk about. I hate office politics and I shall minimize it.

Cheers
Zee ( I'm back )

Relocation to KL

I'm going to be relocated to KL.

Soon.. maybe in less than a month's time. I thought deep and hard about this and eventually I decided that it was worth a try. Definitely, I will leave behind many things here and the closest to me would always be the hardest to leave. What would the exact date be? I'm not sure yet. I'm due to start working on the KL stuffs be 16th Sept, so the time frame would be anytime from then onwards.

Over the past year of work, life has transformed quite a bit for me. Many of the friends have been busy with their own life and moved on. My routine is still pretty much the same, just a bit less disciplined that what I had previously. No longer am I training 5-6 days a week, 3 days week is considered good now. I'm sparing a bit more time to meet up with dear and occasionally meeting up with some friends.

As life going on, you will realise who are the ones who will consciously make an effort to keep in contact. I used to be the one who does that, but now busy and a little tired, has rarely done any linking up. I'm glad that there are still some who still remembers me. Being able to meet up at times rekindles some of the fond moments we previously shared. Some practises such as gift exchange has carried on with the 2 of you, and I treasure that. Thanks. =)

Going back to my relocation.. I was being told about the possible relocation sometime back, and I had to make a decision. If the relocation package is good, there wouldn't have been so much trouble deciding. But the issue was that it simply wasn't that appealing. So why did I still want to take it up?

The package offered a slight increment, with lodging paid, car provided for and transport claims available. But the increment doesn't really justify the sacrifices I have to make to uproot myself from the comfort zone of family and friends here. Moreover, I will be shifting into an unknown territory, where language is an issue (They speak a lot of canto), and the working mentality is so much more different. Comparing a shift to HK and KL, the contrast is vast. It's like shifting into a third world city... well not exactly that "third world", but still the system is so messy, the roads are dirty, traffic is very bad, air is not that clean.

That being said, all seems so negative and why am I still going? What's the one thing positive that overwrites all these concern?

Opportunity to learn.

Within a year of work, I've changed several job profile, and picked up many new traits and skills along the way. This time round, I'm heading over the KL as Retail and Marketing Manager to head a team of marketing/ reps/ branch managers. I'm really curious what is the thing they see in me, that gives them so much confidence to put me in this role after a short stint of one year. I know I am capable of doing things, but this is really out of my expertise and I'm not confident of delivering.

I'm still young and at the same time green. Working isn't always just about money and at times you won't know what you lose out until you try it. So is it all worthwhile? I don't know. I'll know it when everything is over and back in Singapore.

Decision

What is happening?

I don't know.

What I feared did come true, and I don't like it. What steps am I taking next? What is the more appropriate step?

Somehow I'm pretty cool headed about it, just like my usual self, but I'll be kidding myself if I say I'm not affected. How can I be unaffected, when I'm an emotionally attached person. Perhaps it's cause of the things that has been happened before, I'm more prepared for it.

I really don't know if I can take it.
Decision doesn't just lie with me.

Emo post

It's being more than a month since the last post. Just a little update on what has been happening.

Work:
I've been travelling about between Penang and Batam so often that I'm getting sick of it. Travelling alone gives me ample time to ponder and consider what I really want and enjoy the freedom that comes along with it. However, with every positive thing comes a negative part. Simply put it.. Being alone and lonely is the same thing, only difference is how you perceive it. Perplex is the word to describe how I'm feeling and I'm actually feeling rather lost recently. Am I enjoying the work? I don't think so. Am I suffering there? I don't think so. But I'm really getting tons of opportunities to try out and liberty for me to execute what I want to do. Personally, I feel I have not achieved what I want to do and I'm at a loss of what I can do to make it better. That feeling sucks.. Totally.

I've being getting along very well with one colleague and that's partly causing me to feel slightly better within the company. Really... colleague-colleague working relationship plays a major role in work. However, the rest of them? I feel it's really too cliche. colleague and nothing more. It's sad, but that's work life. From the way I'm working now, I know I'm not putting in 100% and that's no good and I don't feel fully utilised. But that leads me to another thing. What am I really good at? I've asked myself that recently and I can't answer it.. how sad. You don't know what you are good at and you don't know where you will excel? Living day by day as it passes.

The clock is ticking, the age is catching up.. Every second gone is every second wasted. You have such high dreams and are you taking any steps to get closer to it?

Others:
Sometimes things can get a bit mundane. And it is up to individual to spice it up. If you think it's boring, it WILL be boring. If you think it can be fun, it WILL be fun. Which side do you stand on?

Humans:
It's only natural for us to sought for like minded people, cos we click together well. It's more easy going as we don't have to accomodate much to them as they are like us, basically it makes us feel more at ease and comfortable. Birds of the same feathers flock together and that's so true.

Personal:
I feel I've reached the same stage as I was in a couple of years ago. I feel that similar things are on-going on my side. I feel that things may not turn out that smoothly eventually. There are a lot of differences and there are some unhappiness which has never been mentioned. Can it really remain submerged all the way? Or would it be like the magma hiding under the crust of the volcano? I fear for it.

I thought I was ready for it. But some things made me feel otherwise. Can I live with it? Perhaps so, because it seem all so well so far. Will I be happy with it? Perhaps... well.. maybe not.. in the long run.

I think I need time..
A lot of time for myself.. just to sit down and think about nothing..
I haven't been getting that for a long while. Even when I'm alone, my iPhone is accompanying me. never really alone... just like now. Many a times, it is because you don't get enough attention from someone/things, you spend your time searching for it as replacement elsewhere.

Importance:
What is important to me? It is clear to me what are my priorities when it comes to management of time. What is important to you? It doesn't seem that clear to me, and at times it seems it isn't balance. When one puts in 100%, the very least that is expected is 85% I suppose. It can be felt, believe it or not. When it comes naturally or when you need it and then call upon it.

At times I don't know how to talk about it. It's just weird. I've been more vocal at work, but I've become quieter away from work. A tradeoff that just happened?

When you start to have doubts and you start to have secrets, it's not healthy. But you realise that you can't really say it out cos who's there to listen to you? It becomes a bit unbearable.

What's left of this blog is also unknown..

Who's actually reading it is also unknown..

What may leak out of here is also unknown.

Life is full of unknown... So what do you know ??

Hectic

I've been busy... so busy for the past few weeks that I didn't have much time for myself. The week just fly by, and lin has even came back from Shanghai.

Everyday is packed with activities that by the time I go home, it's already 10pm. Honestly, this lifestyle is very draining. I have very little contact with the outside world. Though I'm not those social butterfly that will die without any contact, it is still kinda sad. I am happy to have my own free time to do things or perhaps just stare blankly. After working for 1/2 a year, it made me realise the importance of rest. Especially weekend rest where you can just recharge and do nothing.

My life has been exciting, with constant training and races to go in addition to my tuition and full time work. Am I loading myself with too much activities? I just played a Bridge game over the weekend and it reminded me that I wanted to excel in it.. In every sports, to excel means you need to spend time.. Do I have the time?

I know I've always been saying that time is a perspective. Depends on how you allocate your schedule and time to make it happen. Sacrificing some other things along the way to make it happen is inevitable. For me, it's always sleep... but whta's next after sleep? You can't be compromising on work right? There are other things to worry about right? So how?

The new job scope that I've been given is going to make things worst. It'll be even harder for me to meet friends and I'll be running around everywhere. Experience for my growth? perhaps.. I wonder how much I will be able to learn and whether it's worth it. I just don't like the feeling that I've been made used of. Switch so much things for me, but yet dont' want to adjust my pay. Come on.. you must be kidding. Still ask me to prove it to you, when you are the one that thinks I am up to it, that's precisely why I have this new profile isn't it.. Joke

I have no sense of belonging to the company.. sadly..

Asking me to expand the biz in Penang and Batam, but yet leaving me to fight for myself with minimal help is interesting. Do you really trust me that much that you hand me a branch to manage, just after 4 months? Asking me to talk to big client in Malaysia after just 5 months? and further expanding the OTC biz in Penang after 6 months?

Is it a matter of you have no time to execute what you have in your mind, and I happen to be a cheap labour that can help you start it? Some colleagues tell me that they you think I'm capable enough to do it, that's why I have so much opportunities. Thanks, but I would really appreciate if there is a bit more guidance. Throw me into a pool, and I either swim or drown. With my high adaptibility I would likely survive, but excel? I don't know about that.

I don't feel happy now... I dread what I'm doing for some of the things..

Knowing more about how you handle the customers, it gives me an insight to what you may be thinking when dealing with me as well. Being so sly and tactful when talking to customers, it makes me very wary about what you say. Can I really trust you? Sorry I can't. I'm not so gullible.

I thank you for giving me this opportunity to learn (on myself) and regional exposure. How much I will learn really depends on myself now.. ( since no one is guiding). With the current messy that you two have generated, treating your staffs like chess pieces and reshuffling us to whatever you like, you will not get the best out of us. Especially me... Cos I know that I'm one that needs stability and sense of belonging..

Good luck to your plans. If I'm still around.. I will help out in what I can.. for now..

How things have changed

It's been 3 weeks and how things have changed. What are the changes? Me myself is surprised by it as well, and to think that Mindy commented about my previous blog post on how I feel i'm stagnating in the current position, it's amazing. So what has been happening?

For the past 2 weeks, I've been at Siemens attending the Hearing care consultant course. (HCC). The course was relatively easy for me as I've been handling relevant things for the past 4months. It gets a bit boring at times due to the repetitive course material I'm exposed to. The course is good in the sense that it refreshes many of the information and it gives me extra confidence when people ask me about the product. The test at the end of it made me stress, as I am expected to score well and some of the colleagues were actually stressing me to top the class. I hope I've done well enough to achieve that. Though it may not be as relevant in my job scope le.

Part of the interesting happening was the Aviva 70.3 in the previous entry. and that was truly an enriching experience for me. It psych me up to take up more races as I simply enjoy the thrill of crossing the finishing line.

I've been told by my boss that I will have a job redeployment and that will include me in different positions. The job title would be Accounts Manager, in-charge of the whole sale accounts of the company in Malaysia, Singapore and Batam. When I go full swing into the job, the job title will be changed to Regional Accounts Manager. This means I will be travelling to and fro Malaysia, Batam and Singapore for the job. In addition to that, I will be doing rounds with the local GPs to get more referrals into our outlets. That means I'm left with 1 day a week in the shop, with 2 days in malaysia, 1/2 day in Batam and 2 days visiting doctors .

This new job profile will give me ample exposure to the regional market and it's a good step forward. Considering that I'm only 6months into the company, I've been given the opportunity to take up such a role, that's simply amazing. The work that I've done has gained recognition and my colleagues agree that I will be capable to take up the new role. The only concern to me now is whether it's worth it. Travelling to and fro will take up a bulk of my time and many other sacrifices will be made too.

Renumeration wise, there's no adjustment at the moment though I did ask for it. Boss only replied " prove to me ". Freaking. Powerful 3 words which silent me. I was thinking haven't I done enough to prove to you such that you have given me this opportunity? Of cos I can't say it out can I ? Anyway, I will just take this opportunity to learn and absorb everything along the way. Learning curve will be steep and there will be many obstacles ahead of me where I will have to overcome.

"Perserve and succeed". Motto for my primary school.

"Nil Sine Labore" Nothing without labour. Motto for VS and VJC.

I welcome the challenge that lies ahead of me ! =)

Aviva 70.3

On 20th March, I reached a new milestone for myself! I'm a 70.3 Ironman ! The build up to the race was exciting.

On 18th, Alvin and me went down to ECP to do a fam swim and it was good.. The course was smooth and we took approx 25min for a 1km lap.

On 19th, I went down to the transition area to check-in the bike and it was nice to see so many fellow competitors preparing their gears, checking their bikes. I was lucky enough to get another hitch ride out to the main road. hahaha..

On 20th, the race day itself, We woke up real early and started to fill our tummy with carbo. At 5.30am, I was already loading myself with Milo and energy bar, ready to move out. The feeling was so surreal... I remembering telling myself " Today is the day ! " How time has fly past and it's now here. I did my race prep slow and steady, not wanting to rush myself through anything. Took a good 1 hour to arrange my transition gears, test the bike, check the equipments warm up etc. Ah dear and Ben came down to support me ! Thanks dear and Ben. It's really really nice to have friends down with you.

At 0800, the Elite wave was flagged off and the adrenaline in my body started to pump faster, cos I'm wave 4 !

At 0820, it's MY TURN ! the whole wave were flagged off with the sound of the horn and OFF WE GO... The swim wasn't exactly that enjoying as everybody was pushing/ shoving, slapping your head. it was a little cramp and with other swimmers bashing through your left and right, it slows you down tremendously. I had to tell myself that I'm here to complete the race, not to fight with them... I'll slow down and ensure I'm safe on the land after the swim. With that mentality, I played safe and took my time for the swim. I came up from the swim in 1hr 01 min, 11 mins slower than my expected timing. ( i used to swim 2km in 45mins in the pool, giving myself 50mins for sea swim).

After the swim, I was a little tired due to the struggling involved, I slowly jogged to the transition area. At the transition area, I sat down and changed into my bike gear. refreshing myself with some coke-plus (coca cola + 100 plus). started the bike leg conservatively as I'm still recharging from the swim, the 2nd lap was much better, even though i had a very very bad cramp half way through that I almost crashed the bike. ( the cramp was so bad that I couldn't move the legs!! ) Thankfully, I could unclip the cleats and get off the bike to do some proper stretching. Even though that put me back 5mins slower, I'm glad I did the right thing, as I really thought the race would be over le. The last time i experience such a cramp, it was game over. In the end, I managed to recover from the cramp and finish the 90km bike leg in 2hr 46min. 32km/h. Good timing considering i wasted 5mins.

After the bike, came the run. Just as I begun the run, I saw TC and HK with sponges and red bull. They were there to support and give us drinks. How nice ! Woohoo.. That red bull kept me going for 2km, before I slow down to a walking pace.. hahaha... This 21km is my worst ever. I did it in a combination of jog-walk so that I can finish the race. completion is the utmost important and the timing was secondary.

The run was the most painful of all 3 legs, but I took my time to enjoy the scenary alogn the way. In the end, I crossed the finishing line in 6hr 42min. Hooray ! I've completed the 70.3 Ironman ! hahha.. The fact that dear could tell I wasn't exactly that tired means how much reserve I had. =P I just wanted to ensure I can complete ma. Don't need to go all out for timing.

It was an interesting experience and I'm really happy that I've completed it safely. It was a test of my body and more importantly mental strength. Seriously, it's a lot of mental to carry yourself through the whole 6+ hours of race. Next up would likely be a full IM le. I hope I have the time for that.

Cheers to All supporters that came down that day.

Many thanks to all my training partners along the way. TC, Alvin, MW, Weiqi.

Training with friends make it more enjoyable.

random jumbling

It's being really hectic in February. So busy that it just zoomed past without me knowing.

It's now March le.

Looking back, what have I done in Feb? Chinese new year and... hmm... oh yes.. tuitions. That's already part of my routine that at times, I don't even remember which session am I going for until I ask for the day of the week. =( . Being busy with some of the projects that I have on hand, and like how I handle work being deligated to me I want to add value to it.

Glad that the Voluntary work at Moral home went well and I'm sure I left a good impression on all those involved. My organisational skills are decent and I seriously feel that I'm not so into the service industry. I need to put in extra effort to ensure that the customers will be that happy. No doubt, I always give my 100% when talking to customers, but the follow up is something that I need to remind myself to do.

How long more am I going to be placed at this position? I hope it's not for long, cos i don't really enjoy it that much. The only benefit is that it's near my place, just 15mins from home it saves a lot of time travelling, and the work is relatively relax.

Talking about this, I was feeling jaded last week after weeks of non stop work-tuition-training. and repeat routine. I felt like taking a long break and just stop doing everything for some time. I know that's impossible and I can only afford a day offwork. At least that did help, cos i could get some ME time. I totally understand how weiqi previously tell me when I begin work, and I start working from morning to night, it gets very difficult to do workout. I was able to maintain my workout routine in nov-dec, cos there wasn't any tuitions. Now that it's in full swing, it's really too draining.

If there's a will, there's a way. Agree, but apparently, my will isn't as strong as it seem to be. =(

Went to the show flat at Adora Green a few days ago, our first recce for DBSS. It was an eye opener for us and we sure got more insight into houses now. So many things to check, see, wonder, ponder, dream, worry, etc. Am I really ready for this? I thought I was, but am I REALLY ready to face all these?

I know I'm ready to settle down with lin. How about the houses and commitments? Financially, I don't think we are both that secured to be ready to commit to a debt of 700k for 30 years. This is a question that is bothering me now, and as 3rd quarter 2011 draws nearer, it adds pressure to myself. I don't know...

That aside, what would you do when 2 person you are close to are not in exactly that good terms? You can't spill the beans of what you heard, nor can you try to advice on the other side. You are sort of being squashed in the middle and perhaps keeping mum about the whole thing may be the best option out. It's weird.

I've realised that things that I can chat with, with some friends have become rather cliche. Is it due to the difference we had in our life, or simply because there's lesser and lesser interaction that many things become foreign and we become unsure whether it's okay to share it? Work life keeps everyone busy and it sux. Comparing work and study, I vote for work for the things that I do but for the freedom wise, I would prefer study.

Yeah.. it's a very random post that comprises of many of the thoughts that has been bothering me. No links between points, but that's how my mind is messed up at the moment. So many things jumbling up the limited capacity.

Self assessment

Just came across an interesting article title " the less you know, the more you think you know"
http://www.omg-facts.com/view/Facts/26152

It makes you wonder how much do you really know? Is it because the more you know, the more you know you don't know? I have this feeling as I progress up the academic path. Used to think that I know quite a bit, but as I study more, I feel more and more inferior. Knowing that there are so much things out there which I don't even know in the first place.

It makes me think about another issue. Knowledgable people are usually more humble, and they don't boast around what they know. They will quietly do their work and feel that they are constantly not good enough, always looking to learn more. While those who thinks they are already good enough would slack and think they are dwarfing over the rest. Is that why the smart gets smarter ?

From the link, it lead me to two other interesting articles on Peter's principle and the Dunning kruger effect. It struck me hard as I think I belong to that category.

"In a hierarchy every employee tends to rise to his level of incompetence"

It's true isn't it. When we perform well in a task we expect a promotion and that usually is in the path of management roles or supervisory roles. But what we excelled in initially are the mediocre task such as individual work. How can that be a good gauge to whether we are a good manager? Often than not, I question the ability of the managers above me as I feel that they are not adequate in their roles. So have they rose to their level of incompetence?

Granted.. People can learn along the way and improvements can be made. But so often, they will be stagnant there for a real long period of time and that denies the potential employees below them opportunity for promotion. The article gave some good suggestions on how this can be minimized.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Peter_Principle

As for the Dunning-Kruger effect, is a cognitive bias in which unskilled people make poor decisions and reach erroneous conclusions, but their incompetence denies them the metacognitive ability to appreciate their mistakes. Put it in layman terms, stupid people think they are very good and thus often make stupid mistakes by thinking that they are smarter than average Joe.

To be aware about this effect I think it's critical for my own development as I believe I am guilty of that at times. Of course, whether one is skilled or not depends on what field you are comparing with. But in general, I think I've been thinking a bit too highly of myself and overly confident of my ability. This was evident when my boss gave me new tasked, I thought it was interesting and do-able. But when I started getting down to work, I'm at a loss of what to do next. That's a clear indication of lack of knowledge in that field.

Being aware of such effects and principles make me think a lot... and I think I need the time to self evaluate to better myself.

To begin, I need to be :
1. More careful with my choice of words
2. Don't be overconfident
3. Improve on my knowledge

I want to better myself.. and this is one big step for a giant change.. I hope..

Zee

Begun my first Bahasa Indo lesson last week, and I'm revising it. It's a bit complicated, espsecially that it contradicts what English has taught us. A simple like this shows it all.

You're a clever boy.
Kamu anak pandai.

direct translation is :
Kamu = You
Anak = boy
Pandai = clever.

= You boy clever

In english, we use a adjective to describe a noun, thus we put it before the noun we are refering to.
In bahasa, it's opposite. the noun comes first, then you describe it.

In a simple sense like this, it's easy to read and understand. But when you try to form a sentence with it, or a conversation with it, it becomes very very tough since it's just not natural. The sentence structure is not what you've been using for the past 25 years. It's just like English and Mandarin.

Now I have one more to handle, and I was never good in language. Congrats... Either perish or thrive. I choose to thrive..

I've managed to get one of my main task done, or rather almost done. The only thing to be done now is the execution part. If things go according to plan, all should be fine.

Next up is the Batam shop. Went there yesterday to find out more details and snapped a few photos back for analysis. Am I supposed to propose for a new location or stick by with the current one? What are the pros and cons of each option ? I've learnt something related to marketing before, something about strength, weaknesses, opportunity, improvement. To think of it that I remb this more than my Bio stuff, it speaks volume. haha.. The shop in Batam is now like my pet, i'm given full responsibility to run it and I'm actually scared, simply because I dont' have the confidence. I feel that i'm too green for it at the moment. With the boss also a bit too busy to provide much guidance, it makes it more challenging that I need to tackle it head on.

Went there twice, and I've got a general feel of what needs to be improved. I've got another 4 months to decide if the current location is to stay, or whether we should shift. That would be my next milestone. I feel this is like a make or break situation for me. If I excel, there would be plenty of opportunties for me to venture into. If not, I don't know what to expect... I don't wish to think about it. Only Success and no failure.. lolxx..

Was discussing with dear on the possibility of getting the DBSS at Tampines central. We are both genuinely interested in it and due to it's excellent location, we are very tempted. The only obstacle is the cost of it, which is likely to run into $550,000 and above. To cough out such a big sum of money, I need to skrim and save for the next half a year, so that I can contribute more to the down payment. Down payment would be $25,000 cash.. and because our CPF don't have enough, another $15,000 cash is required to be top up, and that makes it $40,000 in total. My goodness..

To show my commitment, I've agreed to try and save $6000 within the next 6 months. =.=" I think I can survive on water and grass liao.

Back from Bali retreat

Went for Company retreat in Bali, and it was sure an experience. Though there were so many workshops and seminars to attend, we had our fair shares of fun and joy too. Understanding how the company has grown over the past 2 years is inspiring and looking at the vision they have set, it feels good to be part of it.

Actively expanding when opportunity arises, from a South-East Asian company to now a Asian company. The prospect that it shows is promising. Will I be riding on the wave with the growth? Many ppl were sceptical about me joining this company and I was one of them initially. But what made me make the decision was that I saw potential in this market and true enough it is growing. Being part of a Big company has it's benefits as there is a structure for you to follow and learn. The problem is that there are too many hieracy to follow, and you can't climb unless the person above you changes. Being part of a smaller company, there're more chances for taking up different roles as everybody is tasked with a secondary task. This allows you to add to your portfolio while learning on the job.

I'm hype up by the prospect of the growth the company is exhibiting. It is always exciting to be part of the winning team.

From the retreat, I've gotten to know more about some of the colleagues and some are really fun going. Play aside, work has to be taken seriously. Obviously, there are those who like to show off and attract attention. Was told by Wendy about the DOPE test, (Dove, Owl, Peacock, Eagle) test. I was observed to be a Owl/Eagle. While one of them was identified as a Peacock, an arrogant bugger who likes to attract attention. Different traits make the team interesting and it's the dynamic structure that brings us together as a team. All along I feel like I'm an Owl or Eagle, depending on the situation. When the need arises, certain traits can surface and dominate. But one thing I never want to be is the Peacock. It gets on ppl's nerve for being showy without substance.

http://richardstep.com/2010/04/29/dove-owl-peacock-eagle-dope-broad-personality-test-and-results/http://richardstep.com/2010/04/29/dove-owl-peacock-eagle-dope-broad-personality-test-and-results/

With new task comes bigger responsibility. And honestly, I'm at a loss at times on how to proceed. I'm now entering a totally new dimension, nothing related to what I've been studying. It's a chance for learning, but at the same time I want to be able to do well in it as it may mean pathing my road for many years ahead. Being lost is something I hate, and I need to find the solution to this...

I'm disturbed.. VERY disturbed.

My sis may not be getting married in June le. WTF!!

Last night, suddenly throw a bomb say not ready. (The BF), and he's not prepared for a marriage life now. Feels that he need to say it out now rather than later when he "chu kui". Come on lar, you two have been together for 13 yrs? and you tell me that you feel she may not be the right one, may be just very good friends? F U. Bought the house 2 yrs ago, and started preparing everything for the marriage, from choosing hotel to getting photographer to taking wedding shots. Everything has been done and paid for and even the clothes has been custom made for the Big day itself and now you are saying such things. How irresponsible. Cancelling the house, banquet will likely run into 50k? But the money is not the main concern. It's the disappointment, the shocked, the " how do I face my colleagues and frens" feeling. The stress is enormous.

Last break up was 7 yrs ago, and throughout this time, dont' tell me you haven't been thinking about it until now. I'm sure things have been happening and certain thoughts must have ran through before. how many more years do you want to waste? 28yrs old already and counting. Seriously, I don't know what to say... Sis is totally not in the mood to do anything now and she's totally devastated. I feel unjust for her and I can totally feel for her. She's close to me and this has impacted me quite significantly.

I'm left with no words for now..