No, really, he has found his weenus. Seriously.
Back in August, I was trying to get The Force to take a nap. He was so tired, and really, really needed to sleep. The sure-fire method of getting him to drift off (especially when he doesn't want to) is to rub his back. So he's lying there, fighting off the inevitability of sleep, kicking and wriggling, and I started to rub his back. Next thing I know, The Force pulls up his shirt and says, "T, I want you to rub on my naked skin." Huh? Um, okay. Just about then his little hips start grinding on the mattress. "It makes my weenuh go in circles." Oh Lord. Thankfully he responded well to being told to lie still and faded off to sleep a few seconds later. I told Jason, and some friends (of course), and we have laughed about it since.
So yesterday, The Force and I are sitting around watching some serious Star Wars: Clone Wars, and he starts giggling uncontrollably and says, "That tickles!" What tickles, pal? I look over, and he's using the remote control to tickle his weenus. Oh my. Dude, it's not cool to tickle yourself with the remote control. This is going to be a problem.
Sunday, April 10, 2011
Thursday, April 7, 2011
So apparently, the police just LOVE my apartment! No, seriously, we're a hotbed of activity here in the 23901.
Over "winter break" for the college, someone vandalized a bunch of cars around our apartment complex. Ours were fine, but we keep an eye out while walking the dog these days. We call it the "neighborhood watch" walk now.
A few weeks ago there was a car full of kids smoking weed in the middle of the night right outside our apartment. I called the non-emergency police number and asked for a drive-by just to make sure the kids went safely on their way somewhere else before any trouble came of it. Before I knew it, 3 patrol cars screamed into the parking lot and had 4 kids across the hood. Several pipes and bongs later, everything settled down again and we were fast asleep without a worry.
I keep tabs on a car that pulls in once or twice a week just to sit for an hour or so. I think the two people just want a quiet place to talk, but still, you never know when someone might be casing my place 'cause I'm all fancy and shit.
But today? Today takes the cake. Jason was home alone when the nice officer rolled in asking for Sofia Popal. Ummmm, no Sofia here, but we do get her mail from time to time, so she must have lived here at some point. In fact, she got a court summons delivered here in December. But whatever. What's up, officer? Oh, Sofia pulled a hit and run in the WalMart parking lot? How nice of her! And her car is still registered to this address with the DMV? You don't say! Jason directed him to the apartment complex office where they'll have the forwarding contact information for sweet hit-and-run Sofia, who apparently drives a black Mercedes.
Nice. She creamed someone with a Mercedes. She better get her shit together and quit having the police show up on my doorstep, or I'm going to go hunting for her, too.
Over "winter break" for the college, someone vandalized a bunch of cars around our apartment complex. Ours were fine, but we keep an eye out while walking the dog these days. We call it the "neighborhood watch" walk now.
A few weeks ago there was a car full of kids smoking weed in the middle of the night right outside our apartment. I called the non-emergency police number and asked for a drive-by just to make sure the kids went safely on their way somewhere else before any trouble came of it. Before I knew it, 3 patrol cars screamed into the parking lot and had 4 kids across the hood. Several pipes and bongs later, everything settled down again and we were fast asleep without a worry.
I keep tabs on a car that pulls in once or twice a week just to sit for an hour or so. I think the two people just want a quiet place to talk, but still, you never know when someone might be casing my place 'cause I'm all fancy and shit.
But today? Today takes the cake. Jason was home alone when the nice officer rolled in asking for Sofia Popal. Ummmm, no Sofia here, but we do get her mail from time to time, so she must have lived here at some point. In fact, she got a court summons delivered here in December. But whatever. What's up, officer? Oh, Sofia pulled a hit and run in the WalMart parking lot? How nice of her! And her car is still registered to this address with the DMV? You don't say! Jason directed him to the apartment complex office where they'll have the forwarding contact information for sweet hit-and-run Sofia, who apparently drives a black Mercedes.
Nice. She creamed someone with a Mercedes. She better get her shit together and quit having the police show up on my doorstep, or I'm going to go hunting for her, too.
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