Freakin' me out? You ain't seen nothin' yet.

I saw a nurse practitioner today to talk about weight loss aides. She says, "I don't believe in medication.  It's dangerous and I won't prescribe it." She told me I was "stunningly beautiful" and maybe I was supposed to "learn something" from this body, then asked if she was freaking me out yet.  Pfffffffffftttt.

I told her I've been on a diet since I was 14, and she was like every armchair psychologist that had written a Diet 101 book, then asked her which one she'd written.  I told her the only thing I am learning from this body is that next week I'll be 36, and it's getting harder to lose weight as I get older, and I have enough education to know that while I'm the healthiest fat chick she'll meet today, I don't want diabetes or high blood pressure, and if she couldn't do better than "what I'm supposed to learn from this body" she was wasting my time. Who do you think blew who's mind during that meeting?

She's now checking my thyroid level, again, which I can guarantee will come back normal.  It does every year.  She's advised me to stop eating all high fructose corn syrup... "or corn syrup, or syrup of corn, or anything with those words... you know, they manipulate the terminology".  Um, sure.  Also, it turns out I probably have a gluten allergy.  Really?  How can you tell?  Oh, because I'm tired?  I thought you usually needed tests for these things.  Oh me and my silly western medicine.

Wonder if I'll see her again.

And I've bounced!  These were the events of my illness:

Thursday:  So sick, not aware that I wanted to die.

Friday: So sick I wanted to die.

Saturday: Felt a little better in the morning, then relapsed, and thought I probably was going to die.

Sunday: Woke up at 4am, feeling like Rip van Winkle awakening from the 100yr sleep, and I've been pretty good since. 

Sunday marked the first time I kept food down.  Since that's been 24 hours, I'm off to work this morning.  Whoo hoo!  I've never been off work for 2 days due to illness before.

Oh Dear God

I have met my weight loss goal for January.  It is January 1.

Please make this misery end.

Love,
The WanderingGirl