a very onion christmas

I know this post is past it's time but...

apparently this school missed the memo.

Merry Christmas to All

Today I celebrated my first Christmas outside of Canada. I headed to Boston to stay with my brother and his family, along with my parents who came to celebrate State-side. Last night we did the reenactment of the Savior's birth. My two year old niece was Mary, my 6 year old nephew was Joseph, my 4 year old nephew was a wise man, grandpa played a shepherd, and I was an angel (as always)... the other adults sat out. My nieces and nephews looked adorable. I'm sure you are all sad to miss the picture of me standing on a chair shouting praises. They're likely lurking on my brother's camera.

The Christmas service today was excellent, as the organist was absolutely amazing. Apparently he is doing his Ph.D. in choral arrangement. I really enjoyed singing along with his playing. I felt the spirit of the season and gratitude for the Savior's birth and death. After dinner we had a musical number by nephews and friends on recorders that one particularly naughty auntie bought them. It was rather amusing. This was followed by yet another nativity reenactment to which I sat out. It was a very Merry day indeed.

I wish all of you the best this season, and in the New Year. May we all find a little more joy and peace in our own lives and throughout the world.

A good night

Let me set the scenario...

Saturday night Miss Aislinn and Miss Ange headed up to Salt Lake City to see Good Night, and Good Luck. An excellent time was had, with the exception of the pesky person who chose not to turn off their cell phone. Not only did it ring twice, but it rang and rang and rang. As Miss Aislinn exited the theatre, she stopped in at the ladies room, or should I say the

Yes, read it folks, it does say "washroom." While my Canadian readers might be confused as to why I would need to blog about this, my American readers will understand. I have been teased relentlessly while living in the States for saying washroom instead of restroom or bathroom. The common response is "what is it? A laundry room.. hahahaha." Oh so funny, because, um, yeah, do you really "rest" in the restroom? And seriously, if you do, can I ask why you don't just flush and go when you are done your business. That seems a novel idea to my brother and father, but it is hard for me to fathom why people willingly stay in a bathroom longer than necessary. Okay, back to washroom... so you can imagine my surprise when I saw a sign in a public place in the USA that said washroom. I feel vindicated in my word usage! So shove it all you that mocked me. Now if only I could find public displays of "toque", "holiday" (meaning vacation not a day), and "garburator." As well, I'd like to push the spellings of theatre, behaviour, rumour, and travelling (etc). Oh, and one more thing, perhaps I could ask you all to pronounce it foy-yah, not foy-yer for that word that indicates a lobby. Cheers!

*Before you all jump on me for being a hater, I do prefer the American pronunciation of bag, sorry and drama

lapses in judgement

Last Thursday I had one of my worst days as a therapist. I still can't express exactly why it ended up being as bad as it did, but I can think of at least ten things that contributed. As I was driving home, I started flipping through radio stations as NPR just wasn't doing it for me. Before I realized it, I was singing along to Michael Bolton's version of "When A Man Loves a Woman." When it was over all I could do was laugh at myself for the serious misstep. I have NEVER been a Michael Bolton fan, even during my sketchier music days that included Milli Vanilli, Vanilla Ice and even (gasp) Backstreet Boys. (Look at all the confessions coming out of me today).

While listening to cheesy music is the least of my concerns, it reminded me of a serious lapse in judgement that lasted over a year. I was working on my master's in the USA, stressed out to the maximum, scared of living the rest of my life away from my family, and therefore hanging on to a long distance, and very unfulfilling relationship. So what did I do? I finished my master's, started my Ph.D. in my hometown, and tried to "work" on this dead-for-a-year relationship. It shouldn't have come as a huge surprise to me when I was blindsided and the relationship was over... but I was! All I could think about was why I had let myself get in to the position that I was in. I had given up the opportunity to pursue a Ph.D. in a program that was more suited for me, but more importantly, I had lost a huge sense of who I was in staying in that relationship. One of the hardest parts for me was admitting that I wasn't nearly as "with it" as I tried to come across. The good news is that I got back on my feet, met some great friends, had valuable time with my family, and decided to take a bigger risk that was in my best interest. I dropped out of my program, moved back to where I had gone to school, and started working full-time in a residential treatment facility. There are small moments when I question myself, but I believe that I made this choice when my mind was clear. It wasn't a "Michael Bolton" decision, those choices that are clouded by a myriad of emotions.

I have started to notice a trend that my Michael Bolton's seem to be more frequent when I am fearful, frustrated or sad. I'm curious if this is a universal phenomenon. Do we fall prey to poor choices when we feel similar emotions or do we each have unique triggers? Do some people make their poorest choices when they are happy? People in manic states, which is on the extreme end of excitement, often engage in high risk, damaging behaviours. So readers, if you don't mind me getting personal, what seems to cause your Bolton moments? And more importantly, why did Michael himself hold on to that awful mullet for so long? That was a SERIOUS lapse...

the day a narcissist felt me up

Last night I went up to Salt Lake City to see The Dandy Warhol's do their thing. I'll be posting a synopsis of the show on Popscoff. This post is to share an uncomfortable highlight.

While I was waiting for Courtney et al., to take the stage, I was chatting with friends. Suddenly this guy grabs me and starts talking to me. This is the conversation (the bracketed words are my thoughts).

Him: Are you a Dandy Warhol fan?
Me: Yes (man, this guy is really close and he's touching my back ALL over).
Him: Have you heard of the Brian Jonestown Massacre?
Me: Yeah. I recently watched Dig! (Crap, every time I move, he pulls me closer. Wait..this creep looks vaguely familar).
Him: I'm in the band (smiles). Who do you like better? (Man, this molester is Anton Newcombe. He's an unbalanced fellow. How do I answer this so that he'll stop touching me and so I don't tick him off?)
Me: (Smile). I like you both equally. (I think he has successfully touched every square inch of my back, and I'm hoping he will leave so my backside isn't the next target).
Him: Ah.. (smiles and walks off)
(my personal space was just violated by anton)

Now, it could be some random stranger who thought it would be funny to pretend to be in BJM, and who looks an awful like Anton Newcombe, but my intuition said it was him. The strangest part to me is that I'm not typically the woman in the crowd who gets unsolicited attention... especially from crazy musicians. But at least I have an interesting story to tell in my usually boring life. The Dandy's played an awesome set, and I took some awful pictures with my camera phone!

A Christmas carol

If you are not in the Christmas mood yet, this will surely help.

Just when you think this song can't get any better, it does. I'm sufficiently smiling to go and brave the masses at the mall.
O Holy Crap!

And to reaffirm my disdain for cats, there's this little ditty.

who thought this was clever?

I have driven the same route to work for the last month but only today noticed a delightful used car dealership. In this instance, the term "used car dealership" is generous. It was more reminsicent of that neighbour who always had enough cars on their front lawn to start a business. Despite the lackluster appearance, it had one of the best business names ever, "Konsigned Kar Korner". One typically expects that sort of genius to be reserved only for motorhomes, which got me thinking...

Isn't it odd that there are three K's in the name? Is it really just a cover for something far more sinister? Utah county is 89.2% Caucasian. I sat with this tangential thinking for mere minutes before I shook the Dan Brown out of me and drove on.

The likely conclusion? This business suffered the same misfortune as many children here in Utah. It was given a name that never should have been brought to fruition.

this little piggy

I ran across this fun little time waster on pants that fit's blog. This was my pig!

Just another reminder that I am not artistic.

draw your own

p.s. my links order has changed based on those that more regularly post... but I love you all the same.

bah-humbug

I realize I run the risk of being accused of Scrooge-like behavior for this post, but Christmas decorations in November is ridiculous. Americans haven't even finished their turkey feasting yet! I drove to work Monday morning and saw the town had been attacked the night before with wreaths streaming from the lampposts. Driving home Monday I noticed that some people had already put their Christmas lights on. Even the local stores have got their Christmas decorations out for sale.

Perhaps I have been scarred over the last five years of Christmas as my mom felt that decorating the fern was sufficient in lieu of a Christmas tree. She had numerous excuses for this, such as "the artificial tree doesn't fit in our new house" or "we will be having Christmas at Danielle's anyways." I was then left to feel guilty about my behaviour because I was "not acting my age." Hey, a twenty-something is allowed to act like a five year old when the so-called Christmas tree is a a wimpy fern that looks more pathetic than a Charlie Brown tree. In my mom's defense, the guilt-inducers were the always good, always sweet siblings who took it upon themselves to scold me for making my mom feel guilty about the tree. I love family dynamics!

Despite the crap-for-tree of the last few years, I am confident that even with a proper tree I'd still think Christmas decor should ONLY come out in December. Don't get me wrong, I love Christmas... it's my favourite holiday. But how long can we endure "Santa's coming to town" piped in to the sound system and creepy elves staring back at us before Christmas actually hits? And let's face it, we're still yelling at the driver next to us right up to Christmas... so it's not like the early reminders are making us any more Christ-like.

ode to a friend

Part of the being a blogger means there is that tiny piece of egomania. We write about ourselves, the things we like or don't like, clever musings to amuse others, and a host of other things that represent us. Then we post it for the world to see (or the ten people that actually read it).

Today I shed my narcissism to give a shout out to my good friend. Yesterday he had a momentous birthday and if we still lived in the same city I could participate in the obligatory "happy birthday" celebration. Those awkward events where all the attention is on the birthday boy or girl but is a required passage of age. So I will share my blog with him in hopes he gets that awkward feeling from a computer screen. HAPPY BIRTHDAY GRAHAM!

Thanks for all the great music to which I will be forever indebted.

(Okay, so this post was also a good excuse to post a picture of Ian, Graham, and I in our team uniforms from our Bumbershoot trip. We were missing Shar, who took this picture of us by the Columbia river. I have to say that although I was initially resistant to the coveralls, they ended up being a great idea. They kept me nice and cozy in the car).

H2 Oh @#&%

Water and I have had a turbulent relationship for many years which is not due to my lack of trying. I consistently put water above all other beverages. When dining out I almost always choose water which has nothing to do with being cheap. I just like water... but I am beginning to think the feeling isn't mutual. Almost on a weekly basis I am splashed all over while washing my hands... an embarrassing conundrum when I have to see clients with water splashes all over my pants and shirt. And anyone who has seen me drink water knows that it will likely spill on to my shirt at least 1 time out of 5. Just the other day I was driving to work and a litre of water almost spilled all over me. I was able to catch it in time and only received a healthy spray. I know some may blame me for our problems, saying "you're too clumsy or careless with water." But I try, I really do. I won't give up on water but it's time it took some of the responsibility for our problems!

a few of my favourite things

I thought I would recap the weekend by highlighting a few favourites. Let the fun begin!

MY FAVOURITE:

Quote: "Oh, you're from Calgary? We had some missionaries in this ward a few years ago from there. I can't remember their names now... were there any kids leaving from there in the last couple of years?" I politely smiled and said "there are quite a few LDS members in Calgary, we have seven stakes. So I'm not sure who they might be." I get the feeling that a lot of people may not know that Calgary has a population over a million and a large number of LDS folks. My ultimate favourite is when I'm asked "do you know so and so from Toronto?" That's like me asking a Utahn if they know my buddy from Boston. *sigh

Food: I went for Indian food Saturday night which was delicious. It was followed up by the movie New York Doll. This was a very fascinating film about Arthur "killer" Kane of the New York Dolls. You see the tragedy in his rise and fall but also the glimpse of redemption as he finds new hope in his life. It was also accompanied by a fantastic soundtrack.

Awkward conversation: Hands down was a party I attended Friday night. You can see the synopsis on Popscoff. It still makes me smile reliving it in my mind.

Article of clothing: Okay, this really has been a favourite since I scored them at the puma outlet in Boston back in September. But every time I wear these shoes I am in love. They are so comfortable, and snuggly hug my hard-to-fit-crazy-narrow feet (thanks again mom for passing on that gene). Absolute bliss.


Those are just a few of my favourite things. The weekend would have been a real hit if I could have also listened to Danielle sing this famous song from the Sound of Music, blasting out the wrong verse at the wrong time. Now that was funny!

What are your favourite's from your weekend?

a little laughter

I need to infuse some humour into my blog since my previous post was of a serious nature. Last night I laughed yet again at the antics of Rob Corddry on the Daily Show. When you get to the page, click on the video You Paid for it: What the pork?" This is well worth the time.

dying to be thin

I'm ashamed to admit that I've uttered such phrases as "I wish I was just a bit skinnier" or "my hips are just a bit too big." I sometimes even think "if I just worked out more regularly I could be a size 4." Fortunately I was blessed with good genes and have never had to battle weight issues, and I generally think I have a healthy self-image. However, this is an indicator to me that many women at some point in their life have been dissatisfied with their bodies. I'm not suggesting that men aren't ever concerned with their bodies, but I wonder if their concern is as frequent or serious as it is for women.

This was brought particularly to light when I watched a video presentation given by Jean Kilbourne entitled "Killing us Softly 3: Advertising's Image of Women." She discussed the media's portrayal of women today and throughout the years. I was discouraged that for a so-called enlightened society we are still being bombarded with advertising that objectifies women, promotes violence against women, and accepts pornography. I was startled at how subtle these images can be, yet it pervades our beliefs and attitudes at a subconscious level. Unfortunately this kind of advertising sells in our society, and therefore advertisers, both men and women, continue to put it out there. I think there are many ways this spills over to women's perceptions of themselves, one of which is body image.

The day after watching this video I randomly stumbled upon a website about anorexia. I hesitate to even bring attention to these kinds of sites, but I was completely surprised by it. At first I thought it was a tongue in cheek site, but I soon realized that these women were in support of anorexia. The site was plastered with pictures of very emaciated women. The women defined themselves as anorectics by choice, saying "Volitional, proactive anorexia is not a disease or a disorder. It is a lifestyle choice that begins and ends with a particular faculty human beings seem in drastically short supply of today: the will. Contrary to popular misconception, volitional anorectics possess the most iron-cored, indomitable wills of all. Our way is not that of the weak. Self-control has never been the way of the weak. To deliberately direct one's course of action apart from the impulses of raw instinct and desire requires discipline, inner strength, persistence, and focus." Yes, I will concede that anorexics have will... but not in a healthy, positive direction. The women stated that they "strive for perfection" and desire to see "bones." This is not a lifestyle choice, this is a disease. I find it discouraging and disheartening that there are women who struggle with eating disorders and believe that the way to true perfection is through starving their minds and bodies, literally wasting away. Our physical features are only one aspect of who we are, and if we become hyper-focused on how we look or how our clothes fit, we neglect our spiritual, relational, and intellectual selves. We are not whole when we only concern ourselves with the size of our waist.

I know that I can't change the world, but I can start by changing myself. I can start accepting myself for my limitations and my strengths. I can choose to not support companies that advertise in such a way that is demeaning to any person, regardless of race, gender, sexual orientation or religion.

I do want to link to a site that helps those struggling with eating disorders, and I hope we will all think a little more seriously about this issue and how it impacts our society.... because this is not healthy (warning: this image is disturbing).

end of soapbox.

Sunday's Top Five

Today I was reminded of five things:

1. Small hands (excluding children) creep me out
2. Small hands rubbing someone's back REALLY creeps me out
3. I'm still bugged by Utahns pronunciation of "heal" as it sounds like "hill" (as real sounds like rill etc)
4. Too much sugary sweetness when teaching Sunday school doesn't do it for me
5. I always enjoy a meal being made for me, especially if I get to play with a friend's baby afterwards

office space

This is my sad looking office...


This is my sad looking face...


My office truly needs an overhaul. I refuse to put the ugly picture up on the wall that is sitting on the floor. Each of my boys told me in their own special way that my office looked rather "bare." I told them it looked hideous. My goal for the weekend is to get something on the walls and my books on the shelf. If only I was lucky enough to have a room with a window. I think I have to get a few more therapists to quit before that happens. Being lowest on the totem pole also means I get the ugliest office.

The good news of the week is that I get to go climbing with my boys tomorrow as part of our group therapy.

stinky...

I sometimes find my pro-women thoughts and opinions could be perceived as sexism against men... but today one of my stereotypes about boys was confirmed.

I have often noticed and believed that boys/men's apartments and rooms seem to emanate odours that my nose isn't particularly fond of. I will say that not ALL of my male counterparts have this problem, but a lot of them do. Today I had my first group therapy session with the boys I am working with. The session took place on the boys unit, which is where they sleep and hang out when not in school or therapy. When I walked into the place I was overwhelmed by a smell that was akin to a stinky, dirty locker room. I wondered if the smell was going to stick to me after I left, and if I would be able to endure the stench for the next hour. Fortunately, or should I say unfortunately, my nose became accustomed to the stink. I seemed more concerned with getting these boys under control, as they were curious as to how far they could test the new therapist... (not far by the way).

Now, I've been on the girls campus and it does not smell unpleasant... not one inch of offensive odour. So I have to wonder why this is. Are men less hygienic than girls? Are they just plain smelly?

16 military wives

As I drove up to the Canada/USA border, I was listening to Sixteen Military Wives by the Decemberists. I found this amusing on several levels. On Monday, I join the American workforce. Yes, I have left my home and native land to join our neighbours to the south. The whole way to the border I fretted if they would actually let me in. So the line from the song "America can't say no" seemed to be a good omen to me. Plus, I had to laugh that I was about to enter the USA listening to a song that is clear expression of frustration of current events in America.

I had a long drive to think about my past, present and future. I came to three conclusions:

1. Dining in a small town cafe is fabulous. My dad and I stopped in at Jan's Cafe in Lima, MT to have lunch. I witnessed our waitress and a local woman get into a spat, ending with the waitress telling her "you don't have to come in here again." I saw three men come in with their camouflage gear on, clearly heeding the big sign outside that said "Hunters Welcome." This was rounded out by four cowboys sauntering in with their hankerchiefs, cowboy hats and spur's on their boots. Honestly, it couldn't have been a better representation of a small town in a state that seems to have more cows than people.

2. I'm leaving behind some fabulous friends in Calgary. The waterworks started before I even arrived at my going away party, but I managed to stave most of them off until guests started to depart. My closest friends have each been tremendous assets to me this year, each helping me in becoming and being the woman I desire to be.

3. I have the most giving family. I know without a doubt that any of my family members (in-laws included) would do all that they could to help me. I witnessed it this past week as I scrambled to leave Canada... not knowing if/when I'll be back. We are all so different, yet the Kelly loyalty runs deep. On one extreme is Ted. We differ on many accounts... for instance, he loves to hunt and go to gun shows, guns freak me out and I don't think I could ever purposely kill a living thing. Yet he would be there for me if I ever needed him, and he's always been so patient with me. On the other end is Danielle. We probably agree on too many things. She and Robb graciously opened up their home to me, and didn't even complain when I lost my house key! Glancing in my rearview mirror and seeing my dad driving his truck with all my belongings was a visceral reminder of how grateful and proud I am to be a part of this tremendous family.

I have many new adventures to begin as I make my fifth move in 10 years. This move has been the most thought-provoking for me. I suppose you could argue that moving to Provo, Utah would make any sane person stop and ponder. I do know that I felt good about pursuing this opportunity, but it was also one of the hardest things for me to do. I will truly miss the regular association with my family and friends back home, yet I am excited for the new possibilities that await me here.

so sports is our downfall

It hardly comes as a surprise that I would find myself reading a blog entitled "The Happy Feminist". I had stumbled upon it while reading another blog, and hadn't found it as interesting as I had hoped... until the author linked to an article about why women shouldn't play sports. She was obviously appalled by it, as was I. In fact, I was enraged. Danielle was perplexed as to why I let it get to me, citing that there are still plenty of backward thinkers out there. Upon further reflection I realized that although I had mild to moderate enraging moments, it had been a while since I was at my breaking point of "when will all the people in this world become enlightened?"

Read the ludicrous article for yourself. I should know that anything written on a webpage that is for "ladies against feminism" would irritate me. Below are the comments I posted on The Happy Feminist. I'm fully simmered down now, thanks.



Oh where to begin with this one?

"Christian women are often ill-prepared to be Biblically obedient wives and mothers." WHAT? Since when did sports make you ill prepared to be obedient? Most sports require one to take direction, extreme discipline etc. However, the most offensive is the requirement of women to be obedient. What century are we leaving in?

Point two: "The Bible talks about women developing a quiet and gentle spirit; I think sports fosters anything but that. They instead develop a competitive and contentious spirit that will cause them to have great difficulty in their marriages." Oh, but it is good for men to develop those qualities, as it will be such a "joy" for women to deal with competitive and contentious monsters in marriage.

Point three: "One of the reasons so many women today enter the armed forces (and workplace) is due to their participation in sports, which have helped prepare them for that endeavor." Really? I didn't know that. I thought women entered the workplace and armed forces because it was something that interested them. Who knew sports CAUSED that. I can't wait to read the research that this author so aptly forgot to mention that proves causation.

"It shouldn't be a secret that women's sports promote immodest attire." Those swimsuits they wear or the short shorts when playing soccer... *gasp. Forget the men wearing those teeny, tiny Speedos or going shirtless or even singlets in wrestling. No, no, when it comes to immodest attire, women win hands down.

If this author wants to continue in his sexist ways, at least he could use a bit more intelligence in arguing his point. For lack of a better word, he's an idiot.

writing in the mission field

On Tuesday I gave two presentations to the Alberta College of Social Workers. It was mostly just me rambling on about my master's thesis... surprising that people would actually pay to hear something so boring, but I digress. The conference was held at a local church in the community, which I'm assuming was a Christian denomination. As I was leaving the building, I noticed a large sign above the door that read "You are now entering the mission field." My first thought was "if only I had a camera." My second thought was "does the congregation get stoked when they read this or do they forget it's even there?" My third thought "hmmm, what would I want a big sign above my door to read?"

I definitely wouldn't want anything weighty... like reminding me to do the Lord's work... far too much pressure. Anything kitschy would just be irritating. I could be drawn to something really vain, like "wow, you're one hot tamale" (but that sort of mixes in the kitsch). While I continue to ponder the words to my fictional door sign, what words would you put on yours (and why)?

literature

I read quite a bit over the summer, but have found myself slowing down the last few months. My recommendations from my summer reading are The Alchemist, which was a fast and thoughtful read, Dress Your Family in Denim and Corduroy, an amusing collection of short stories, Blink, a fascinating read on our snap judgements and intuition, and Broken for You, a lovely fictional tale. Now I have two more books on my "to read" list. The first one is God's Politics: Why the Right Gets It Wrong and the Left Doesn't Get It. I think it will be an interesting read, even for a Canadian. I came across the second book while reading the New York Times. It's entitled Going Sane. It must be the therapist in me that's drawn to this one.

To other rabid readers, "must reads" are always welcome!

old school

I am choosing not to mention who this is a picture of, as I have not technically asked his permission. I remember when he, and another nameless boy, got their skateboards. They were determined to make me a "betty" but my enthusiasm died fairly quickly. I do find it interesting how different the skater image has changed over the years... but that's not really what this post is about.

I've noticed a disturbing trend over the last few years (although skating gained in popularity long ago). All my beloved childhood toys are now back on the market. You can get G.I. Joes, Transformers, My Little Pony, Cabbage Patch Dolls and even Care Bears. Old School is now New School. These little eight year olds have no idea that back in the 80s mothers fought at the toy store just to get that last Cabbage Patch Doll for their snotty nose child who would have a hissy fit if Santa didn't bring her that doll (editor's note: my mother wasn't one of said mothers, nor was I a snotty nose kid... my brother, well he literally had a snotty nose). Do they know how many children wept when Optimus Prime was killed by the evil leader of the Decepticons, Megatron? Do they even know what the Care Bear countdown is?

Sadly these children will not be able to fully enjoy their toys, as they do not have a full understanding of their history. It's a bloody shame.

this has got to be a joke

I can't take credit for finding this on my own... a friend posted it on a message board. Seriously, this cannot be legit, but it's good for a laugh.

I'd rather be single!

birthday bash

This post is rather dated as my birthday was over two weeks ago. However, I just received the pictures from Lisa yesterday, thus my justification in a belated retelling. We decided to have a camping excursion rather than the traditional birthday party that always feels slightly awkward. Not all my friends are the camping/hiking type, so the it was only Graham, Lisa and I that set out late on Friday the 16th. The moon was quite bright that night so we hiked sans headlamps, slightly wary of bears. We managed to have our camp set up around 1:30 a.m. and promptly jumped into our tents and went to sleep. It was so dark out that I was sure the flash from the camera did permanent damage to my retinas.
Lisa and I were sure we heard an animal of some sort near our tent in the early morning hours but were too cold to do any investigating. I woke early and went for a short jaunt by myself, enjoying the stillness of the morning and the mist on the lake.

In the morning Bryce joined us for our day hike. We came across a fabulous waterfall and we thought that if we continued hiking up the mountain we would finally hit the path. After an hour of some heavy bushwhacking we did not find the trail, nor was there hope we would. Lisa thought it would be a good idea to take a picture of me when I really thought I was stuck in the trees, she then snapped a photo of herself. I did manage to find a way out of my jam cursing the whole way. We eventually hiked out of the dense brush and hiked up some rock face. On the way down I slipped several times, but only ripped my pocket. A lumbering porcupine crossed my path, which was as exciting as the wildlife got that day.

In the eve of the 17th, the celebration was underway. MaryAnne, Ben, and Jane joined us and brought the hotdogs and smores. We were treated to a spectacle like no other from Mother Nature. The full moon rose from behind a mountain peak and we were all in awe. It was absolutely beautiful out there and it truly was one of the best gifts I could receive. Happy birthday to me!

a crush like no other

My admiration for Jon Stewart grows more and more each day.

I have yet to watch a Daily Show where I don't laugh out loud. I came across a clip of him at the Emmys which further solidifies my unrealistic and completely unattainable crush for a short, married man. Ah keep the laughs coming jonny.
Fall in like with Jon

i hope i don't have this in 16 years

Today I was waiting to make a deposit at the bank when I noticed a man at the teller. He had a curly mullet, armband tattoo, and a concert shirt on. This wasn't any regular shirt... it was from 1989. I noticed the pristine condition this shirt was in. Sure it had become transparent from the years of washing and wearing, rendering it more of a white undershirt than its former glory years... but there was not one single hole and I couldn't see any stains. I wish I could remember what the back said, but I do know it was a world tour. There were concerts in Canada, the US, the UK and Australia. I waited in eager anticipation to see the front, but he turned in a direction that killed all hope. Foiled again!

As an homage to this fellow, I thought I would show my one and only concert shirt. I think it's pretty damn cool as it says "all girls boxing club." I'm sure it will be donated or used for rags long before its 16th birthday.

weekend wrap-up

Okay, so occasionally I feel a desire to share my random life events that are probably of no particular interest to others. On Friday my love of hockey was back in full force. My brother-in-law gave me his tickets for the exhibition game for the Calgary Flames versus the Edmonton Oilers. There's a lot of nostalgia attached to live hockey, as my dad would take me to games... buy me malts and nachos. Good times. Lisa and I wore team colours to support the Flames. I had to borrow a red shirt, as I don't own one piece of red clothing... looks awful on me. We won 3-0 and were even graced by a fight.

Saturday I saw Grizzly Man with some friends. This link from another random blogger summed up my thoughts on the movie quite well. (Warning: there is some vulgarity, so read at your own risk). Read Here.

Little Miss Avery gave her first talk in primary, which was very sweet. Sunday wrapped up nicely with a dance party with the nieces. Some of the siblings sat out... they were just jealous of the moves Mike, Ted and I could pull off. We called the grandparents in an attempt to manipulate feelings of sadness (hey, they moved away from us). I don't think the re-telling of the scene did it, but if they saw a video of us hooligans dancing around, they'd tear up for sure.

ode to teamwork

So I'm not computer savvy enough to figure out how to post this picture on the comment section of Mr. Pulsipher Goes to Washington. Therefore, I'm posting this inspiring quote here... yes, this is an original Bushism. You'll also be impressed to know that I did the poster myself (yeah, so my skills in photoshop are lacking... back off). Thank you David for giving me the opportunity to stretch my creative skills. This is my idea for the next motivational poster.

flashcards

I recently celebrated my 28th birthday (stay on the edge of your seats for an upcoming blog showcasing my birthday camping trip). Yesterday was my family birthday dinner, sans half the family. I received two amusing gifts. Danielle, my matriarchal sister, gave me therapy flashcard greeting cards. These two were my favourite. You can check out all of this company's product here. The back said "10 glossy greeting cards with blank interiors onto which you may project whatever you like." I think I'd rather frame these cards for my future office rather than give them to friends. It was a perfect gift for a therapist! (just click to enlarge)



Now, my mom's gift was the most entertaining of all... especially because Danielle said that my mom was laughing quite heartily at them. She gave me three packs of chewing gum, two of which I'm posting. Check out the title of cool and calculating gum. It's on the side. My mom is so cheeky.

shows to despise

While on holiday here in the US of A, I've stumbled on various ridiculous shows (mostly on MTV). It got me thinking about the television shows that really aren't worth anyone's time. I'm not talking about guilty pleasure viewing, such as my two episode love affair with Tommy Lee, but those truly horrendous shows that make your skin crawl. I've recently ranted about one such show on another blog Popscoff.

Here's my brief list compiled in my head as of tonight:
-My Super Sweet Sixteen (MTV)
-My Fair Brady (VH1)
-The Surreal Life (VH1)
-The Simple Life (Fox)
-The Ashley Simpson Show (MTV)

Shows to watch:
-Arrested Development (Fox)
-The Daily Show (Comedy Central)
-Scrubs (NBC)

Okay, so folks, what shows do you hate? What shows do you love? And why, oh why, can't network producers stop making BAD reality shows?

seattle sojourn

Today I officially withdrew from my Ph.D. program at the University of Calgary. This was a big step for a kid who never dropped one class in any previous studies. But the time had come to face the facts that this program wasn't doing it for me... so I became a college dropout! What does one do when they drop out? Well, I travel. I'm typing this as I sit at my brother's computer in Boston. Prior to my jaunt here, I spent the weekend in Seattle at the Bumbershoot Festival. It was a fun-filled weekend of music, interspersed with some not so fun happenings. Time to recap the highs and the lows...

The journey began with the wearing of coveralls... apparently they were the "team uniforms." I scoffed at the idea, but found the uniforms to be quite cozy for travelling. They kept me warm when needed, and provided nice deep pockets for carrying keys in.

On Friday we stopped at the Columbia River to plunge off some cliffs that the men-folk had found the year before.
The LOW: Well this is a toss up between one companion (male) wearing a thong speedo for the plunge and another companion locking the keys in the car. I'd have to go with the speedo being the ultimate low, as the key locking worked in my favour (see HIGH).
The HIGH: After spending copious amounts of time on top of the ledge, and basically chickening out, coach shar got me to jump off the thirty foot cliff. If we didn't have to wait for the guy to come to unlock the door, I doubt I would have done it... as the group wouldn't have waited that long for me to take the plunge.

Saturday:
The LOW: There wasn't really anything that stood out.
The HIGH: In the evening we went to a show that was raising money for 826 Seattle. We were graced by the MC, Daniel Heder, author of Lemony Snicket and "the Transatlantic Orchestra" a.k.a Death Cab for Cutie. We went for the show, and I ended up seeing one of my favourite bands... it was a great surprise.

Sunday:
The LOW: Um, dumb Aislinn lost her ticket. After Graham and I tried several unsuccessful attempts to get them to re-issue my ticket, I sent him back inside. I figured I'd just chill in downtown Seattle and buy another ticket for Monday. I was super bummed, and angry at myself for losing the ticket.
The HIGH: I went to another gate and talked to the manager, shed a few tears of frustration, and was let in because he believed my sad tale. In all honesty, I was close to tears. I'm sure I could have stifled them if I tried harder, but who cares about pride when money is on the line? Not this poor dropout. On Monday we found a way to have them re-issue me another ticket. Graham was all ready for a fight that never happened. I was so relieved our plan worked!

Monday:
The LOW: Watching this stupid act "Idiot Pilot." The guy was an idiot, and his dancing reminded me of a seagull in flight. So, perhaps the band was a fitting name. I swear my ears still burn from the wretched screaming. Too bad because it was a cool venue.
The HIGH: Watching The Decemberists live. They were awesome. Okkervil River was a close second. We also had a new crew to roll with that day that infused new energy... and it was a terrific way to end the weekend.

Tuesday was spent driving all day, and one travelling buddy got a migraine and had to stop several times to throw up. But all in all we arrived safe and sound, and played jukebox ipod before arriving home. Each member picked a song and explained why they chose it... good times!

I have a week in Boston, which I'm really excited about. My little nephews just about beat me in bowling today, but I edged out a spare in the ninth frame. Guess dropping out isn't so bad after all.

P.S.-I didn't take any pictures in Seattle, but some pictures may be posted on my friend's blogs at some point if they so choose. Check it out at eyun's photoblog or ninjutation

sometimes it's just best to drive

No doubt this person was annoyed... but at least he/she made his/her sad plight amusing! I for one thinks this person deserves a refund based purely on the artwork and description. check it out

the hiro phenomenon

Okay, so it's so four weeks ago to talk about Tom Cruise and his midlife crisis. But here's the thing... midlife crises are somewhat of a myth. I'm reaching into the depths of my brain archives, so some of the information may not be exact (and all my school notes are packed away). However, the original study on midlife crises came about from a study of about 50 male, Caucasian, Harvard graduates... not quite a representative sample! However, it likely grabbed the media's attention, and thus became a part of our vernacular and beliefs. So, are midlife crises valid or are is it an easy out for someone to explain poor behaviour and choices? Well, when a man walks away from a marriage of 20 years, buys a new sports car, and dyes his hair blonde... I think he's choosing to live a hedonistic life rather than a responsible one. And then he can say in a year or two "oh, I think I was going through a rough time, a midlife crisis of sorts." Poor excuse for poor behaviour!

This brings me to another point... media is so quick to pick up on and distribute catchy studies with interesting findings, which is then disseminated to the public. What is often left out is how the study was conducted, the rigor, and sample size. Thus, very often the general public is duped into believing ideas and findings that are simply flimsy at best. The "beauty" of statistics is that researchers can most often make something out of nothing! And the media seems to love nothing.

So, the next time you hear that someone jumps the couch, be a bit more skeptical of the real reason behind it.

what did tommy do now?

So I read somewhere that Tommy Lee was doing a reality show. I figured that a series with former Motley Crue drummer, ex-husband to Pamela Anderson, and friend to Backstreet Boy Nick Carter, had to be incredibly stupid. Even the premise seemed to call out for mocking. However, after watching Tommy Lee Goes to College, I have to admit I enjoyed it (quite a bit actually). Sure, there are the typical set up moments, the cheesy voice over narrator, and self-promotion.... but Tommy was surprisingly endearing. His facial expressions were a crack-up, and watching him play in the marching band was priceless. So I'm saying it loud and proud "I'm not ashamed that I will be a repeat viewer to Tommy's escapades at University of Nebraska-Lincoln."

got secrets?

In Maryland, a person receives postcards with a stranger's secret. These secrets are then posted on PostSecret. I found this site quite intriguing. Individual's are able to anonymously share a secret they have never shared with anyone. Some of the postcards are quite creative, some humorous, some touching, and some are just plain ridiculous. Definitely a site I'll return to.

thoughts on marriage

Marriage has been on the brain as of late... not by choice but by circumstance. I have sat through approximately 3 hours of discussion on the topic at church. I've come away with all sorts of "insights". One lesson, when discussing how single women can prepare themselves emotionally and spiritually for marriage, one woman proclaimed that we should all be drinking more milk to prepare our bodies for pregnancy. Yeah, for a non-lover of milk, except for the chocolate variety, I think I'll just keep eating my broccoli. That comment just about put me over the edge for gut-busting laughter... thank goodness for clapping one's hand over one's mouth!

However, all this talk on marriage reminded me of a paper I had to write in my master's program, in marriage and family therapy, about the qualities of a successful and enduring marriage. It required theoretical research, as well as interviewing a married couple. It was very enlightening for me as I interviewed Ted and Diana, a couple who had been married for over thirty years. It's been over two years since reading that paper, but upon doing so, I found some quotes that nicely articulated the subject of marriage. Also, for a good read on this matter, I suggest you check out my 'marvelous' friend, David's, blog.

Ted said "We come to a marriage with unlimited potential, but initially we are handicapped by our own nature. In our emerging adulthood, free from the draconian influences of parents, we have taken great pleasure in developing our personal autonomy of selfish interests. Now we must somehow integrate that independence in a compatible way with someone who is constantly breathing our oxygen and inhabiting our space. This can be a glorious sharing or a begrudging treaty hammered out one hard fought clause after another. In attempting to understand this complex creature with whom we now share unspeakable intimacies, we must learn nuances and subtleties that seem to change on a daily basis. That can be rewarding and exasperating. And this is only the start, when only two personalities are vying for their place in the family hierarchy. These are the easy years when love and novelty should overcome any challenges. Children really mix things up. Now it is not just our own egos we must protect, but there are more ongoing deliberations as two individuals try to be one in raising those precocious little souls, who oddly, becoming trying teenagers." A theme that I found over and over when counseling with unhappy married couples, was one's lack of patience with the other's differences. As Ted said, it is learning your partner's nuances, and integrating your differences.

Diana's advice was more to the point, but just as thoughtful. She said "Friendship is key. Passion, etc is all very important, but it's more important to be good friends and really care about the other person as they are and not what your idealized view of a perfect partner might be. Be unselfish. Be prepared to make sacrifices to support your partner in his goals and aspirations. Don't loose sight of who you are and your own unique goals and aspirations. Be friends with the people your partner values and loves. Have fun together." Selflessness is key in a relationship, but taken to the extreme can also be problematic. I have seen many women in therapy who struggled to answer "What are your interests?" I believe, like Diana, that successful relationships are built on a balance of selfless care and concern for your partner, as well as developing your own talents and interests.

As August 22nd approaches, Ted and Diana will have been married for 37 years. I have only witnessed 27 of those years, but continue to hold their relationship as my standard for marriage. I'm sure they have endured rough patches along the way, but there is a mutual respect and commitment to each other and their family that transcends all of that.

Happy Anniversary Mom and Dad!

***The inscription on the back of the above photo says "June 1986. To Dad, I love you..... Love from your daughter Aislinn. P.S. You're a lucky man to marry Mom." I was wise beyond my seven years.***

oooh pardon me!

While I was flipping through the book The Gas We Pass, by Shinta Cho (popular author of "Everybody Poops"), I came across this picture. I don't have photoshop, so this is the best you're going to get (the pic's are supposed to be together). Anyway, my eyes stopped on this picture.



I'm not sure what was more disturbing... that a kid that age was still having a bath with an adult or that neither of them did anything about the other letting one rip! I'd be high-tailing out of that tub before you could say "excuse me." I guess a toot isn't as bad as my 2 year old niece, Parker, leaving a chocolate surprise while bathing with her big sis. Yeah, Avery freaked like nothing else... but who can blame her?

quotes to live by

My brother, Ted, brought a box full of books to our family dinner tonight. They were books from his in-laws that no one wanted. I found a real gem of a book published in 1964 (trust me, the date becomes relevant) entitled "So Well Expressed." It's a handy little thing, where one can find quotes on such subjects such as beauty, persistence, service, truth and war.

On Democracy:
"Be thankful that you are living in a land where you can say what you think without thinking." (George W. ring a bell?)

On Education:
"Too often a college education goes to the head rather than to the mind." (Didn't he graduate from an Ivy league school?)

And this is where the quotes get really good (note thick sarcasm)... like this one on men and women:

""A woman will always cherish the memory of the man who wanted to marry her; a man, of the woman who didn't."

or

"It is a woman's business to please... the woman who does not please is a false note in the harmony of Nature." (attributed to Oliver Wendell Holmes)

and for the humdinger of them all... drumroll please...

"The average girl would rather have beauty than brains because the average man can see better than he can think."

The latter quotes reminded me of a document I had seen on the Internet that supposedly came from a 1950s home economic textbook that covered the topic of "How to be a Good Wife." Lest you think I'm just a raging feminist (you'd have it half right), I'm linking to a page that does question the authenticity of the article. Read Away

the blogging wars

I was attending school in Utah when the war in Iraq broke out. It was strange being a "non-resident alien" during this time. Canada's government had chosen to keep their troops out of the conflict, and I agreed with the decision. Prior to the war, my friends and I engaged in many heated debates. Soon people that I was acquainted with starting having friends, boyfriends, or relatives called to active duty. Out of respect to their situation, I shared my opinions only with like-minded individuals. Two years later the debate about the war rages on. Yet, it is easy to forget that there are real men and women out there... living this life day in and day out.

Yesterday I read a fascinating article about milbloggers, military bloggers, in Wired Magazine entitled The Blogs of War. My blog is for my random opinions, basically a form of entertainment. But for many in Iraq, the blog gives friends and family instant relief that their son or daughter is still alive. The milbloggers are able to instantly connect with loved ones.

I read some of the blogs after reading this article, and I found this one the most poignant. "It was a privilege to work with these soldiers, but there wasn't a day where I didn't long to return back home to where the rubber meets the road. To those not acquainted with the cloistered world of the Infantry this might seem like an unusual wish in the middle of a warzone. It's not something I can easily describe, some things exist in the shadowy realm eternally out of phase with the conscious mind" (from 365 and a Wake Up). Regardless of ones opinion, these men and women are away from all that I often take for granted, like driving my car... potentially living their last day.

the tides are changing

How many parents still let their children walk the three or four blocks to school alone? Do you really see little kids under the age of ten playing alone at the park?

My sisters and I were reminiscing about the "crazy" things our parents did when we were young. When I was seven, and my twin siblings were 10, they sent us alone to England. That was not the original plan, but when my grandma kelly became very ill they felt it best to stay with her and send us on our way. Really, it was only an eight hour journey to a foreign country! Then my oldest sister Danielle recounted a time when she was in grade two or three and my mom sent her on a bus downtown... where she told the busdriver which stop my father would be waiting at. My mother and I were also having a debate a few months back about the distance I walked to and from elementary school. We were close to our old neighbourhood, so we drove from our old house to the school and clocked the distance. It was about one kilometre one way, which my mother said "see, that wasn't too bad." Considering we walked home for lunch, I was clocking four kilometres a day... and when you're six, your legs don't move too fast! The only upside to walking to and from school was the clandestine stops at the macs store after school to buy candy. My brother invented a genius way of making money... charging kids 25 cents to watch him eat an ant. I jumped on that bandwagon when I saw the dough rolling in.

However, the children of the next generation aren't privileged as we were to come and go throughout the neighbourhood as they please. Parents who would send their young child on a bus downtown alone would now be considered neglectful or "stupid." My sister's local school is chock-full of cars in the parking lot at the end of the school day, and all the kids live within walking distance.

Is the world more dangerous or are we just more cautious? There is likely no official answer... but I do want to hear what other "crazy parents" did when you were growing up.

i now pronounce you...

If you're in Canada it could be "husband and wife" or "husband and husband" or "wife and wife." The marriage law was hotly debated in the country, especially in my home province of Alberta. I was never opposed to the law, so felt enormous amounts of frustration by the emails sent to me to "do my Christian duty and protest this law that would be our country's moral downfall." The people sending me these emails assumed that because I was affiliated with the same religion, I also shared their same feelings on homosexuality and gay marriage. (As an aside... people really need to know their audience before sending out mass emails). To say that gay marriage would bring about our moral decay is neglecting the decades of heterosexuals doing just fine in that area... affairs, dispensible marriages... is this any better? Then there were others who believed that homosexuals should have the same rights as heterosexuals, but that it should be called something other than marriage, like a "civil union." It's just arguing semantics, isn't it?

On July 20th the bill became law, and there's not much that can be done by those that oppose it. A poll was printed in my local paper today. The poll showed that 56% of Albertan's were still opposed to gay marriage. What irked me about this article was an idiot MLA, Paul Hinman, who said that "Alberta's redneck roots have led to an unwavering opinion on gay marriage... We are considered rednecks and that means we're independent and we don't buy into the rhetoric." Independent, really? I usually think of rednecks according to this definition "A white person regarded as having a provincial, conservative, often bigoted attitude."

Is this how Mr. Hinman wants Albertan's to be perceived? I suppose so, seeing how he portrays himself as a classic redneck. Thank goodness there are still 44% of us that aren't in line with Mr. Hinman. The rest of them would do well to take a line from Ben Folds and find those hundred ways to cover their redneck pasts.

the sinking island

A friend and I went to see the movie "The Island" the other week. I had no clue what the movie was about but had seen some brief clips... and from what I saw I thought it could be a promising flick. The ads gave it sci-fi feel and I thought "maybe this one will have an interesting concept." One hour into it, I kept checking my watch to see how much time was still left in the 138 minute movie that I still had to endure.

First of all, the movie had the most blatant advertising. I know this has become common practice in television and movie, but typically it is done subtly. This one had huge in your face shots of playstation, aquafina, msn, and puma to name just a few.

Secondly, the sci-fi bit of the movie really only lasted for a short time. The bulk of the movie consisted of your typical summer blockbuster chase scenes, with grand effects and over the top moments. Why do they mislead consumers in their marketing schemes? I don't think I would have wasted my money if I knew it was just going to be a chase movie. And seriously, why is it that the good guys always manage to dodge every bullet and never fall off the edge of the building? Are the bad guys that inept?

My third rant involves the very obvious rip-off of a highly successful sci-fi film. Seeing human bodies in these gelatinous pods seemed oddly reminiscent of, oh.. the MATRIX. There was also a part of the movie where it was apparent the screenwriter or director (whomever responsible) got his/her idea from the concentration camps during the holocaust.

I will condense my fourth and fifth rant to just one paragraph, as they are related. I tired of seeing Scarlett Johansson make this pouty face... seeming so innocent and helpless! But don't worry, there's a big, strong, brave, and smart man that will figure it all out and save the day. Does hollywood need to persist in making movies that show the man always the hero... the one that will take care of the damsel in distress? How about showing the man and woman on equal footing, or better yet... a woman that figures it all out for the dim-witted guy. But wait, then it would be a comedy and everyone would laugh because that's not real life, is it?

The only upside to seeing this movie was that I had delicious ice cream and a good chat before the movie began!

props to my pop

Just a few weeks into my dad's first year of law school I was born. I entered as the fifth addition to the kelly clan. It was no small feat that my mom and dad were able to parent our little army, while putting my dad through school. It speaks volumes of their character.

Prior to his life as a lawyer, my dad was a newspaper journalist. In celebration of Alberta's centennial my local paper, the Calgary Herald, has been reprinting 100 of its historic front pages. Yesterday the printed page was from December 21, 1974. What makes this of interest to me is that the column was written by my dad. Obviously the page was printed because of the story involved, not because of my dad's impressive writing. Nonetheless, I'm proud of my poppy. I've always admired his literary skills... and await his bestseller!

krispy kremes and jesus

As I was driving back from a weekend away with my sister and her family, I began singing some of the beloved songs of my childhood, such as "worms after the rain" and "clear the tracks." I believe only a privileged few have ever heard those songs, as they were from a record we bought from artists that sang at Silver Springs Elementary school. I'm not sure how widespread their recognition was... but those lyrics kept me singing then and even now.

This triggered a conversation with my sister about a Christian record she and my older brother listened to. I don't ever remember hearing it, but there was a song on the record about telling the truth and avoiding white lies. I don't remember the record, so I tried in vain to find it on the internet (if someone out there reads this and can actually find the song based on my very limited knowledge of it, please let me know). However, googling something of this nature was bound to bring up many amusing sites. Although I consider myself a Christian, I have never really understood the whole Christian music scene. Sometimes the lyrics make me uncomfortable... like the ones that sound like a love song, until you realize the person is singing about Jesus. Yikes!

Then there are the songs with laughable lyrics that are more of a disservice than a help to those who actually do enjoy religious-based pop music. For instance, comparing life without Jesus to a donut. I really don't want to trash on the donutman, a.k.a Rob Evans, but to say that "life without Jesus is like a donut because there's a hole in the middle of your heart" seems rather ridiculous. Granted it is a song for children, but simplifying religion does not have to equal silly similes.

Feel free to check out the site yourself. The whole song (and a clip from a show) is further down, so make sure to scroll all the way down and look for the title. Feel free to weigh in...

I'm glad I don't like donuts, because if I did I'm sure I'd want to fill my Krispy Kreme donut with a round pastry donut hole.

sinful skating

i sort of felt that the whole "skateboarding is not a crime" paraphernalia got overplayed and lost its effect. however, the other day i was walking down a street and saw an apartment window that had a handmade cardboard sign written with a black marker stating SK8TING IS NOT A CRIME. underneath the sign the person had taped their ticket they received from an officer. i laughed and appreciated this person's humour. it does seem a bit hypocritical that bikers and rollerbladers can go wherever they want, but skaters are restricted to parks or face being ticketed. you'd think that would have changed now that skating is so mainstream.

wow, the world wide web

so after leaving endless comments on my friend's blog, i've decided to enter the world of blogging. this is a big accomplishment for someone as computer illiterate as myself... i even managed to figure out how to link to other sites! i'm not quite creative enough to have a blogging theme, so i will likely use this as my own forum for my many endless opinions, interests, and peeves.

a recent, yet frightening, find (thanks to my sister) on the internet is a site devoted to awful plastic surgery (mostly celebs). this one was by far the scariest that i saw.

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