Aisophistic

Monday, October 24, 2011, 1month plus to go! @ 8:14 PM

Dear Diary,

What have occupied me so far, till I neglected you? My bad, but I have already informed you way in advance, right at the beginning of the year that I won't be updating you much due to me busy preparing for my BIG day and also alhamdullilah, our house.

Come next week, it will be last full month of being Single. Trust me, I am lying if I have never reconsidered my decision. Okay abit exaggerating right? It's just this feeling of excited but yet, wondering every single moment if he is the one, if he can take care of me, if we can live together, if we can maintain the love... and the list goes on. To put it simply, the bridezilla moments. Not only with the big day preparations, worrying of the ceremony, how would you look, how many times will he lafaz and goes on again....

But as the months goes by, I changed my focus, my sense of direction for the big day. I do not worry much of how I will look. I worry more of what will my husband look forward to. Anything and everything for the husband to be. He assured me that no matter what, I am beautiful inside out- do not know how true it is. To me, as long as I look great for the husband, that matters most. Besides, that's the purpose of the wife dressing up for whom right? No one else, but the husband.

Call me traditional, I admit it. I am particular when it comes to Husband. I went through the course, and there and then I know what are my priorities as a wife. Insya allah, HE will guide me. Amin.

I planned to have a relaxed November. But it seems impossible. The nearer the day, the intense the preparation will get. How to relax and to look pretty for the husband?

And on top of this, we are also preparing for our house due to us moving out to the new house by end of this year. Insya allah. So we have to at least prepare the house, to welcome us staying there. Insya allah.

The parents have been busy with my house preparations rather than my wedding. How weird right?

And recently, it was my birthday. Syukur alhamdullilah, I got to celebrate it. Definitely thankful to my mother for bringing me into this world. And its my last year of celebrating as a single. Insya allah. It was very meaningful. Really meaningful. Do not exactly how to put it into words, but I felt I change overnight. Right after my birthday.

I told myself to better myself as days goes by. Insya allah. I told the husband to be of my intention maybe 2 years down the marriage life. Amin.

Im pretty excited but yes very sad to leave my sister and my parents especially. That explains why I willingly accept sister's request to hold a birthday party, and last minute 2hours preparation! Thanks to Blood Susy for helping during my absence due to work commitments, and definitely Lin for the awesome pictures and also last but not least, the love of my life my parents and fiance. It was a success! Alhamdullilah.

Itinerary for November

Wednesday: Painting house

Thursday: Berkat arrive

Saturday: Wedding invitation

Sunday: Collection of wedding card

Next week and so on? Definitely berkat preparation and yes wedding card giving out.

So have I feel it yet? Nope. We are still numb. Feeling is not there yet. Think probably, the feeling kicks in when 1 week before the day?

We shall just go with the flow. Like what my fiance and me believe strongly, Kiter Merancang, Allah s.w.t yang menentukan. Insya allah. Amin.

Monday, September 26, 2011, October @ 10:08 AM

So very soon October is welcoming us. Its the month that I know I will be very busy with photo shoots and wedding invitations, engagements and also my wedding preparations.

Every weekend will be packed with either invitations or wedding preps or house. This weekend itself, photoshoot with Sister, 2 wedding invitations and going over to our house to do up the lightings. Next week, photoshoot with GFs and engagement cum rewang invitation. The next week, so far so good. Probably can enter Johor to collect my wedding cards and start fb-ing and twitter-ing for addresses. Ooohhhh its so nearing hor!

I planned to rest on weekdays and only go out when necessary. But also, I can rest in November insya allah.

Complexion have improved but there is still bumps and yes the red marks. But marks can be covered right. The bumps I should be worried about. I hope I can have a clear skin just like how bride normally looks like.

As you all know, last Wednesday, we went for our photoshoot. I felt so wedding-ish. Looking at him wearing the traditional wedding suit. It made me feel so surreal. Like my dream to be officially married to the love of my life is so near yet so far. I felt so happy and blessed. And of course, it was very tiring but we really enjoyed ourselves.

The next day I was on medical leave. Asthma Attack. How many medical leave have I taken this year so far? Countless. Felt bad. But I'm very blessed and find myself lucky to have very understanding bosses. Syukran!

I am really very tired you know. But I am enjoying the last days of my singlehood and the preparations for my biggest event of my life. Insya allah.

Besides all this wedding jitters and whats not, I have been extremely challenged by the Almighty. All sorts of hiccups and challenges that have made me who I am today. Credits sure goes to my GFs, Family and also my beloved Fiance for giving me support.

I believe that when we want to do something good, we will be challenged the most, especially by the Satan. Like what I always say: Setan punya Setan!

I do not know why as much as the big day is nearing, I do not want to meet him that often but I miss him terribly. Satu macam punya rindu lah!

Thursday, August 18, 2011, Ramadhan 2011 @ 3:33 PM

This year ramadhan is very special and meant a lot to me.

Alhamdullilah. Its already the 2nd week of ramadhan. Another full working week to go through next week and tada its RAYA! Time definitely flies. Syukur alhamdullilah, I get to welcome Ramadhan once again. My 2nd year as someone's fiance :D

Firstly, I am officially the preparer for break fast for the family. So this lady worked hard right after work without changing her clothes nor even bath and right up to the kitchen to cook and prepare. It was definitely tough and tiring. But looking at my family so happy and satisfied with what I cook, it got me feeling so great! Not only that I have to start getting used to breaking fast without Mum, due to her work commitment, I have to learn and try to cook as many dishes as I can. I was a little apprehensive at first due to not being able to test what I cook. But Alhamdullilah, so far all so goodddd!! I am pretty fine and doing well so far with the cooking.

One thing about me when it comes to cooking is that I do not like supervision and also assistance. I work better with minimal supervision and no assistance. I think I followed my Mum this way. I would prefer to learn things the hard way. Even at work, it’s the same thing. Just me. That way and prefer it that way. But, I’m pretty flexible in some way or another. Not that rigid nor tough okay people. Hurhur.

Secondly, as most of you have known, it’s my last year of singlehood. Insya allah. My last year to go back home to my family by my side. Come next year (4 more months to go) it’s going to be a 360degree change to my life. Not that I’m all so excited for it but also deep down, im feeling the pinch. I can’t imagine going home to nobody to hear my daily rants, not sharing with mum what happened during the day and nobody to irritate.

Since I got engaged, I got even closer to the family especially my mum. She is like my best friend too. I can share with her almost everything. Even if the problem lies in the family or with her. Haha. Another thing I am so gonna miss is: Mum home cooked food for me! I will have to travel there every morning if I would want to bring it to work.

Thirdly, my family and myself are not looking forward to raya, simply because we are working towards wedding and also the spirit for raya for my Mum have dampened. No idea why though. So this year, it shall be just simple me. I forced myself to get at least 1 suit to commemorate raya as a tradition. So exact same pair with the lil sis. And being me, what I always looked forward to for raya is the chance to overly dressed and people will not judge you. I will always have a look I want to carry and what eye makeup to do and on and on. But this year shall be abit tone down. But I am going for lace again this year! Insya allah my last raya with family too! :D

Last but not least, i believe that once raya kicks and we are done with, preparations will get intense and so I cantttttttttt waiiiiiiiiittttttttttt. Hehehe.

12 days to raya. VERY FAST CAN????

Tuesday, July 26, 2011, I kept falling in love with you, Mohd Hisham @ 11:45 PM

Once in a lifetime…
an angel sweep you off your feet
and everything I've about dissapears before my eyes

you’re taking me higher when I hear you speak to me
this is so familiar but I'm caught up in this fantasy,

*Now I can’t seem to find myself
Oh, I can’t seem to give up my mind
Oh, I keep falling I’m falling and I can’t stop falling
I’m falling in love with you

When I look into your eyes
I see your love that comforts me
Every now when I go to sleep
I wait to see you in my dream

You’re taking me higher when I hear you say my name
I’m trying to tell you that I will never won’t to let you go

*Now I can’t seem to find myself
Oh, I can’t seem to give up my mind
Oh, I keep falling I’m falling and I can’t stop falling
I’m falling in love with you

Over and over again because I’ll let my mind
You give me something in you to believe in
Come to take me away…

*Now I can’t seem to find myself
Oh, I can’t seem to give up my mind
Oh, I keep falling I’m falling and I can’t stop falling
I’m falling in love with you

I kept falling in love with you, Mohd Hisham

Monday, July 25, 2011, Wondering @ 9:39 PM

How's the beginning of your week so far? Mine was full of ups and downs. I managed to clear a pile of work. Alhamdullilah. Foreseeing a busy week as it's the end of the month. So of crse as the finance and accounts head, I am responsible for all the payments. Inclusive of salaries, Cpf contributions and yes and funds to CDAC of MBMF. And it's also the end of Quarter 2! Thus GST reporting by this week!

I had a sudden attack at work just now, when I was totally fine yesterday night. So signs of having another attack. It was too sudden that I requested time off and made way to the nearest company doctor. Doctor commented that I'm so daring due to having asthma for a week and did not seek a doctor. But alhamdullilah the medicine worked immediately. Am on drugs for 5 days!

At work I was a lil free that I was caught up thinking of my bridal. I have no idea why I at times I am uncertain of the choice I made. I don't know if choosing makeup over a not so my type wedding suits was a good choice. But come to think of it, I am just wearing 3 suits for the actual day thus not that important for suits. I hope and want to look good. For the husband of course. Nobody else! Hehe

Informal wedding shoot with a Chinese photographer has been confirmed. We are in the wedding mood so whatever Photoshoot we can go, we are going! I'm glad that the fiancée is fine with it! "kn nak jadi cool husband" heheh. I have always wanted to work with a Chinese photographer. Alhamdullilah got the deal. Impromptu one.

Now time to decide the place! Booking for time and slot and date is confirmed! But place. Hmmm. Any nice place to recommend me people?

For bridal outdoor shoot, it's confirmed!

Now bridezilla mode super on. But sometimes off! Haha okay aku dah Gile agaknye.