Hope

Hope is a dangerous thing.
You tell yourself to never hope because that shit spreads throughout your entire being. It becomes a contorted truth, a twisted picturesque version of what you think the future will be. That BS creeps under your skin and into your heart.
And there's nothing worse.

That crestfallen feeling... it's like you're in perpetual freefall. You're waiting to touch the ground, waiting for gravity to keep you in check but you're just falling endlessly.

It's always you who gets hurt in the end.

Yup... it's always you.

Being Honest

Maybe if I had just taken the time to be really honest with myself..
If I had figured out that my mind needed sorting..
That my emotions needed to be in check..
That I was affected and I was suppressing it all..
If I had talked to someone about it..
Then yeah, maybe I wouldn't be this screwed up mentally.

Your death triggered something and it's time I deal with it.

It's time to be honest with myself.

The little things

All it took was 1 min of staring out from my window.
Witnessing the pouring rain, the passing cars, the fairy lights against the night sky. During the holy month no less.

I've never felt so blessed to be alive. 
To feel alive. 
To be happy. 
To be at peace.

It's weird what you can find staring out into the night sky. 

At the little things.

Let's never forget this feeling.

Used To

It used to hurt.
It did.

Till the pain ceased.
Till the caring ran cold.
Till disloyalty was discredited.
Till promises dissolved.
And erected a wall, sky high.

No more. I shall give you power no more.

In a Nutshell

Everything will be okay
I know that it's not easy to say
But the pain inside will fade

Short

Doing Film Art module right now. I'm told to watch Citizen Kane starring Orson Welles. It's really something to critique on old movies. It's so different with our modern day movies. They really go in-depth with the characters' personality. Lol. But I keep forgetting to pay attention to the cinematography, mise-en-scene, editing and sounds.

I'm hoping to check out The Godfather some time soon.

Been checking out indie bands lately. I am loving Elsinore.

Catching Up

It's been a while. Endless deadlines, exams and finally a conclusion to a year long drama at work. Tiring. So many meddlesome crap to be dealt with on a daily basis has reached its inevitable end. Good truly triumphs over evil. I shall never doubt that throughout my life. In a way, I'm pretty glad I witnessed the downfall of a tyrant. There's nothing like it. The joy that overwhelms your being. The instant willingness to dance during a meeting. Everything has come full circle. 2010 is legendary. Tumultuous 2009 but 2010 proved to have what it takes to pull us out of this rut and start having fun at work again. The Horse dynasty has lived long enough. The people have suffered long enough. Hell, I can't seem to think of a better ending to this chapter in my life. The need to dance like a maniac is causing quite a tingling sensation. Cue The Strokes please.

Exams? Won't be worried about it for now. I'm gonna enjoy this moment of easiness. Come end July, all this easiness will dissipate. I will once again be the pressurised B grader. I don't know if I want an A. A = having to work hard. Of which I've always had difficulty seeing through. Gave it my all in secondary school. I'm honestly satisfied with a B :)

Gonna be my 6 years soon. Time is really moving fast. Can't believe we've made it this far. It feels awesome. Love you.