another scoop of ice-cream please...

This post has been stagnating here. I've not been able to blog as this title has been stuck in my head for quite sometime. Let me explain.

The moment I saw this line, it kinda hit me. Ice-cream. Who doesn't crave for ice-cream. I think out of the whole population of the world I think not many people would say no to an ice-cream. I'm just basing this on just pure personal deduction. To put it straight ice-cream is something good. An indulgence and a luxury. One that we enjoy!

So how does this relate to all the jumbled thoughts in my head? I guess through looking at my life currently, I'm just dependending on scoops of ice-cream from God. Why do I say so? If we look at ice-cream as food it's usually served as dessert. And the after effects of the ice-cream is a temporary sugar rush. How does this reflect? Well in living my life I'm just looking for the tip of the ice-berg looking at the icing on the cake before realising that in getting there one must eat appetisers, soup and the main course. Chomping down your protein and vegetables to ensure a balanced intake of nutrients for your body's needs. I don't know anyone who can survive on a diet of ice-cream? Maybe a few days but in the long run it's not really good. Imagine one would be suffering from stomach upsets, malnutrition, diabetes, toothdecay and obesity.

So why title my post another scoop of ice-cream? I guess it's because one scoop is never enough. And we forget that ice-cream isn't the only thing in the meal right?

SO away from the general preambling.... where am I now? what's going on? so many questions yet not much answers. Too many things to pray for yet unable to find someone to pray with. But it's probably excuses that I've been neglecting my meals and just asking for more ice-cream! Because it's just too easy to eat. Ignore the vegetables and the meat. Even if the vegetable is bitter gourd(my not so favourite vegetable) most of us would pass and skip to dessert or may not even finish our meal and skip to dessert. It's sweet nice and gives us a good feeling.

Is this how it should be? Pick and choose what we eat? Follow because it's what we've been doing all this while. Change for the sake of it? Give in because they want it? Popularity. Hai. It's a crazy world we live in. And daily we are given opportunities to eat our meals proper. BUt there's nothing wrong in asking for more ice-cream. And when you don't get it, it probably means you've not finished with your meals yet?

I guess I gotta be honest with myself. Priorities need to be straigtened out. I'm now a student. I've gotta be studious. I gotta carry on even if it seems like everything's out of hand. I've tasted failure before and I don't wanna taste it again. But Lord you know what's best. And I've not been at my best. Fill me up. Lift me up.

I can't keep asking for more ice-cream if i keep skipping my meals. So I gotta get back. But slowly. Let's stop with the ice-cream and get back to real food. Food that's good for the soul which can only be found in the Word. Whether it's sweet, bitter, salty or spicy, we just eat because we know and we trust that it's good for us. I need your discipline Lord. FInding solace to be quiet with Abba father. How you withdrew from the crowd to be alone praying. And the joy of pouring out love. Pray for me. Let's get back to the table. It just reminds me of psalm 23...the table's lade out. LEt's not skip appetiser and go straight to dessert

why?

why is it that only when we realise that our lives are on the line than we start thinking of eternity? we start thinking of the little things that we've put aside. Why is it that we suddenly find out that all that we've been doing is not really worth the time on earth when at the end of it you can't take it with you? Why only when we are confronted with our true situation then we begin to think why do we do what we do...Do we have to wait till then?

silly. silly people we are. lost in our own lives thinking we are ever in control. living today as if the sun will rise again. using our own intuitions, gut feelings, and assessments to walk this life. but to what gain?

today I just wanna write a reflection to those who're facing difficulties and are thinking of giving up.

To be honest, may,june and july of this year are the three months where I'd say I could have thrown in the towel. In what context you mean? I was really down and out, discouraged and hurt to say the least. I felt that I couldn't handle everything thrown at me and felt that there was not a soul who supported me. It was a drag to be honest. A drag. Even to say how lonely it felt to just cover up the feelings inside. To pretend all was fine when in fact it was not.

I ran away one day. Because I din wanna face the fact that I needed help. Aimlessly walking, wondering. Spending time alone thinking why is it so painful living this life? I was pleading for my life to just end there and then. But somehow it didn't. Probably that was what God wanted me. For it was there where my faith was tested. Where my tired legs collapsed. And i acknowledged i can't run anymore. All those years of having Him lead my life every step of the way. Having Him bless my path. SInce the day I said I want you to lead, you promised and here was I cursing my current state. So much for faith and trust and hope...

God's merciful. And I know that I've not been honest with myself this past few months. That I've not really been a good worker. But know wat? He didn't leave me to just sit there collapsed. He personally picked me up and renewed my strength, the moment I acknowledged it he restored me then and there. Sent "angels" to minister to me. Then I finally saw that I"m not yet the finished product. God's still working his ways in me slowly. Grafting in His words into my life. Washing my stained heart. He has never left. He will never leave. He has broken the bonds that I"m so ashamed. He has set me free. I am free. And I know He allowed circumstances to occur.

SO armed with this what do I do? Do I carry on just like the way I was. God forbid. It's a constant battle. The sins that remain You'll help me fight it because sin doesnt reign here. God I pray you work in others as you've worked in me. Let them see the bonds they are in. That only you can set them free...ONly you can strengthen them. LIke i was the past 3months. Giving up seemed so easy. But God you're the one who reminds, what a test oh Lord. What a trial. ANd I thank you Lord that I know I can face trials with you by my side...

Face it. Know it. Want it. Do it. Hold fast to it. TO His Word.