Saturday, February 28, 2009

amazed

a few more hrs before i get ready for YF anniversary, still hv not penned down anything yet. But I'd just want to take this time to thank God for the circumstances leading up to this day. Thank God for relationships and for the restoration of friendships.

Sometimes in our passion to follow the Lord, some ppl may just misunderstand. I was listening to a friend abt his work and how the Lord has started something amazing at the place he is right now. I thank God for you brother and thank God for a better understanding of what you are doing.

Anyway in my own journey I'm just thankful for everything, though there are many things that are burdening me, or maybe things I'm putting on myself for no reason but I'm thankful for a reliant God. TO be honest this year its still uncertain what I'm prayin for and working towards. Though I say i wanna learn how to trust the Lord but I suppose what I wanna learn is basically what phil 3:10 says. Maybe this is the year I learn more abt Him, learn of the power of HIs resurrection, the fellowship of His sufferings and to understand what it means to be conformable to His death.

I realised that we are all broken healers...that even in our current state God can still use us for His work. Isn't tat an amazing thing?

Friday, February 20, 2009

who is worthy...

i can only say that in moments like this, nothing is more comforting and refreshing then reading His word. Was somehow reminded again about the msg shared on wed prayer meeting on Ps24 and Ps15 and somehow this thought came to mind: Who is worthy?

Ps15 1 LORD, who shall abide in thy tabernacle? who shall dwell in thy holy hill? 2 He that walketh uprightly, and worketh righteousness, and speaketh the truth in his heart. 3 He that backbiteth not with his tongue, nor doeth evil to his neighbour, nor taketh up a reproach against his neighbour. 4 In whose eyes a vile person is contemned; but he honoureth them that fear the LORD. He that sweareth to his own hurt, and changeth not. 5 He that putteth not out his money to usury, nor taketh reward against the innocent. He that doeth these things shall never be moved.

Ps24: 3 Who shall ascend into the hill of the LORD? or who shall stand in his holy place? 4 He that hath clean hands, and a pure heart; who hath not lifted up his soul unto vanity, nor sworn deceitfully. 5 He shall receive the blessing from the LORD, and righteousness from the God of his salvation. 6 This is the generation of them that seek him, that seek thy face, O Jacob. Selah.

I do not seek to prove a point or anything but to just look at the txt that it's quite clear that a person worthy enough to be in the hill of the Lord and to dwell in Him, is far beyond our finite human intelligence and ability. It is not natural for us to seek Him, neither is it natural for us to admit we are at fault. It is not natural for us to be loving, kind, forgiving, forbearing and when i say this it includes correcting and rebuking because naturally we just don't care about anythin else but ourselves. We are depraved, weak and sinful and wicked by nature and our priorities don't match anythin listed by the psalm.this is who we are...and yet we forget about the God's grace and mercy that He has effectively called us to His fold. But does tat mean that's the end?

As I read this psalm I reflect who is as the psalmist described pure? vainless? or as described in Ps 15:3-5.... None except christ who came fully God and fully man. God coming down to be contained in time. To bring salvation and to restore man's relationship with our Creator. Only He is worthy to be on the throne. So even If i look at my life, my achievements, how far i've come to the knowledge of my God...I'd say I'm not even worthy to speak of Him...not even worthy to be in His service. Not even worthy to be called His child. But I praise Him and thank Him that He did!

Now if i were to focus on my unworthiness and my sins and my inadequacies, I'd say the devil has triumphed even before we have entered the battle. Remember, Jesus has triumphed! He has clothed us in His righteousness that now we are deemed worthy to be called his children. But it doesnt end there. As much as everything is done on the cross we are told to work out our salvation with fear and trembling as said in Phil2. Through trials and testings and the continous study of His word and prayer, we grow, we are reminded, chastised and rebuked and corrected daily on how we ought to live now that we are of the fold....

Now wat abt others? Do I impose the way I live my life on others? Do I subject them to the same standards I live by? What if they are sinning? How do I confront such brethren or deal with such brethren? Yes we have the obligation as those who have the truth and if we have done so yet they heed not correction and still choose the other way? Do we let that affect our focus on Christ?

I recall when Peter, being restored by Jesus, asked about John's fate, He said in John 21: 22 "Jesus saith unto him, If I will that he tarry till I come, what is that to thee? follow thou me."

If their fate is sealed in Hell and we have done our part by sharing with them, what is that to you and me? And if they are still sinning and still choose to sin despite them being warned of the pitfalls, what is that to you and me? Follow Christ. not follow wat u think is right in your eye, follow the worthy one of God and live it.yet I wonder hv we reli done our part? Have we been following faithfully what christ taught us to do? In simplicity, we are to keep His commandments- Let's list one, Children obey your parents...is it easy? Can u say u've kept tat command? Then how much more the rest of the commandments? Because if you can't follow one, its the same as breaking all....

We talk more than we do, we talk more than we love, we talk more than we listen... We always forget our depravity, that we are in need of His strengthening grace....God help us.

Who is worthy? None as much as your Son! I thank you for giving Him freely that I rejoice that as long as christ is preached and the seriousness of sin and the need for a saviour, I rejoice knowing it's not me who is calling the lost because wat can I do about it, but YOU through us. I can never fathom, nor understand why things are of such yet I rejoice for I know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.(Rom8:28)... I pray we be reflections of you...to be more like you...to know more about you... there is no greater thing...


Amazing Grace - Piano.

Sunday, February 15, 2009

8250th day

funny...i had this gadget on one of homepages, and yea just fancied to write down my date of birth and my expected "last day" on this earth. that is assuming i'd live till my expected last day...

8250 days....(wells nt sure if its accurate considering leap years and such...)

wat a gift to be able to be alive till now!

anyway haven't been updating since the last failed attempt to do so...so wats there to update? wells one thing is for sure, i'm kinda feeling the pressures of actually teaching. Good experience but i realise its more than tat...and i read somewhr that nowadays we're just highly paid nannies...

wells anyway more update, God's reli good. Wells in all circumstances He makes it happen for the best. anyway i know this trying period in school is one thing I gotta get through and pull through. Honestly I feel like a minnow compared to all of my senior teachers. I always ask myself how do they do it? wat is the x-factor they have? sometimes i reli look at myself and wonder whether I'm doin the right things....but thank God for the forgiving staff....for senior teachers and mentors...and somehow my number of periods to sit in lessons hv increased and there are ppl willing to help me out. SO devil get out of my head if u wanna let me look at my insecurities and use it to make me feel so small and insignificant...because God didn't give me a spirit of Fear....

hai...anyways teaching is draining...realised today how drained i was after teachin...reli just felt like bleahx....if i were to kp asking why qns, i'll end up nowhere, but yea i need to pray more...but praise God for this feelings to know that i need Him...

anyway will update more soon...