who is adequate?
while on the bus I was thinkin and I guess it was expected and I have to admit that to some it may seem like a hill to others a mountain or even just a flat plain. to us who see beyond the plains, and can stand among the giants, its just another trial by fire but watabt those who cant see beyond wat we can?
Do we let em be and move on? NO. I wont let it be but shall carry on upholding them in prayer. I know I may not be the best person to come to and tell me nor am i complainin tat i hv to hear it second handed coz nor do i hv to find a reason why. I'll just let the Lord lead and trust in Him even more especially in times like this. Its interestin how in a matter of wks things can change. But I pray the Lord will do somethin big. REAL BIG.
I recall facing the giants on how everythin went against the coach where he did everythin he knew he could do till he was beaten down into a pulp to the pt of even tears. I'm not sayin i'm beat or close to tat pt but I know my Lord will turn things around. I watched this video(below) and I guess many of us are just like the person there. Who at the beginning are one with Him but as we get seduced and begin to lust after things of this earth we get further frm our Lord. Even in our most sinning moment He still is there by our side. ALthough he may not like wat he sees, but He is there watchin u and prayin for you even as we've learnt of Him being our High priest...
anyway gonna share a short story i was thinkin over in my head on the bus ride just now.
(play song)
One day a boy asked his father a question, " Dad?"
"Yes son?" He answered.
"What does it mean to love someone?" The boy asked.
"Son if i end up in the wheelchair would you take care of me?"
"Yes dad."
"Son if i ended up a paraplegic and cant control my bowel movements would you clean me up when i'm soiled?"
"Yes dad."
"Son if i became a madman and charged at you with a knife will you stop me and pin me to the ground?"
"Yes dad."
"If I hit your mom and I walked out on this family and ran away with another woman and I realise my mistake and come back would you accept me?
The boy hesitated at this, "Dad...isn't that abit extreme? You would never do that right?"
"Wells its a possibility right? We are after all sinners and we are not excused from whats around us. So answer would you still accept me?"
"I can't answer that Dad...its just that I cant imagine you to that extent."
"Then son you can never fully love me for who I am. But I understand it'll be difficult to accept one who has wronged you in such a way. Someone so close who has abandoned you and betrayed you and the family. It'll always be a hole in your heart, a prick, a thorn..."
Noticing the change of tone in his voice the son enquired deeper, "Dad, did you go through this before? Did er.... grandpa do that to grandma?"
"You guessed it son. I cant help but wish it didnt happen. ANd I never imagined that grandpa would do such a thing. He taught me, brought me to church. But when he lost his job he began to go to the bars, gambled and he kept blaming us and grandma for his plight. Then when He found another job his late nights never stopped. He began to become violent and started beatin grandma. I felt so horrible that I didn't know what to do. ALl i did was cry on my bed as I heard my mom's screams through the night as my drunkened father had his way with her. I asked God why wasnt I strong enough or adequate enough to stop him. Then one day grandpa stopped comin home. And every night I noticed grandma standing by the doorway looking out waiting and whispering a prayer that he'd return."
"He didn't come back and his close friends said he'd ran away with some lady he met in one of the bars and he went with her to her native land. Soon enough the days turned to wks, mths and years. And out of all those yrs not once did I see grandma stop prayin at the doorway."
"And I wondered why? Why should she still have hope in such a wretched man? What did she see in him at the beginning? TO even think that she married such a man. But 6 years after leaving us, grandpa came back. Your uncles and aunties and I had moved on but the moment he turned up we couldnt accept him because of the hurt he's done to us and the family. But what shocked me was how grandma opened her arms and accepted him right away."
"We never spoke to him. We never even wanted to know where he's been. Till one sunday in church. The pastor was preachin on the prodigal son and how the son knowing his plight returned home to his father. ANd his father knowing that he'd been insulted by his son and had been hurt by his actions with open arms accepted him. And then it occured to us that grandma was honoring her vows and was trustin in the Lord to lead grandpa back."
Tearing the boy told his father, "Is that why I see you night after night prayin for Jack, Joe and Jim to return home? Even after what they've done to you?"
The father smiled, "Yes son. Even if you run away or decide to go your own way, I'll uphold you in my heart and pray even if it means cryin every night to God. Because I know the lord will never forget His own. And that He has somethin for you."
"And who are we to even deserve such grace from above? Or even have the adequacy to even do what HE wants"
"What do you mean dad?"
"After that Sunday I understood what love meant. It meant lovin even the most vilest of ppl. It meant loving those who've hurt you, the ones you cant even think of loving. Because a God so powerful and holy could make himself come down to our level and provide a way for us to have communion with Him so that we can return back to what we were made to be."
"So do you love grandpa dad?"
"I do son, but I had to learn the hardway. I had to experience nights of guilt and nights of being angry and blaming him for the plight of our family. BUt I thank God for his grace that I didn't end up like other kids from broken homes. That I had good friends in church who helped me see beyond the problem and turn to God our father. Even after He came back we were counselled and cared for and they prayed for healing and reconciliation within our family. How undeserving yet He was there and when I look back I thank Him for those times."
"By the way son, why did you ask me that question?"
"Its nothing dad, its just that I was wondering how could God love a person such as me. And give me such a task. Its just too difficult to carry on. Too damning, too hypocritical. I cant keep telling people abt Him if I'm like this. But after hearing you out dad, to be loved even before we came to Him means alot. To the extent of coming down to our level. We are so underserving yet he calls us ours. Even when we look at our lives, though its not as perfect, we do see the need for Him even more..."
"after hearing what grandpa did and how grandma reacted, and seeing how you just like grandma didnt give up on the rest of us, love is more than just being comfortable. BUt i guess it takes time to understand all this."
"I never got it the first time son. Only through many times of falling, and trials did I get it and up till now I wouldnt say i've fully understood it. It's somethin tat would take a lifetime. So keep pressing on son."
Who is adequate? I wonder. But i guess its time we reflect and strengthen ourselves in His grace and kp pressing on. And for those who've decided to go, it doesnt mean we're not accountable to you still. You're still my brethren and I always wonder if there was somethin i missed but then again, its between you and abba father and I'm glad you've come to that realisation, all the more you need to depend on Him to make you who you are to be. I'm always all ears if u need to speak. But then again, sometimes it's not me who u need to thrash it out with. But God himself coz even moses,elijah and even david in times like this in the end turned to God. As for us who are still in, lets draw closer, be of the same mind and don't stop prayin just like james says in chapter 5:16...The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much. Now's the time to kp our heads up and hold fast to the promises and kp the ppl in our hearts. smile smile....
