the sunny island...

i guess i grew a few shades darker and prolly an inch thicker on the waist. But in terms of thinking of how to make things better in bringin up my boys in the way they shd, everyday its a challenge to not lose it. IN a sense there is a very thin line btw lenient and harsh, doing wat ur suppose to do or doin to much and so it goes on. Daily i feel tested becoz there are eyes all ard. Every word i say, every action i do is weighed and i am sized up.

reflectin on the past wks with my boys, i am rather thankful tat we hv establish a sort of understanding. Tat as much as i expect stds, i am open and willing to serve them to my capacity. but honestly sometimes i weigh my own actions and my words. I wonder if i've said wat i was suppose to or do wat i was suppose to. many a times i feel stumped at how my seniors do things. Like thoughts such as this go through my head( geez am i too nice? too lenient?)

but then again why shd i adhere to this thoughts of mine? becoz i've decided tat i m free to do wat is right. and if i justify it and prove that it works then why not? after all this is my first time and i guess the approach i'm takin accordin to a friend is one whr my boys may end up takin advantage of me....yet in my head i hv visualized a day tat would happen and am aware that it could. becoz after all humans can be predictable. tats why it feels like i'm playin dodge ball dodgin and manouvering in order not to get hit. but even so. if i do get hit and i fall, why shdnt i get up again and try again?

its been only 2 out of 13wks with my boys, and yet i feel exhausted as if i've climbed a mountain. oh wells sometimes i guess life is made up of many choices and daily i m makin many becoz everythin i do will indirectly or directly cement a life( a persons mindset, behaviour and perspective)...

i love my boys...yet at times i wish they were much better...yet again i noe its only been 14 days...but i can see some signs that its workin. and i thank God for every single day tat i can sleep easy and wake up to take my boys to breakfast and go through another day smoothly...

tats my take on this sunny island for now....

wks to come

wells how to say. anxiety and excitement mixed with abit of uncertainty. perfect cocktail to start with my first batch of boys. but will see how it goes. daily been challenged by our dear master trainer to be extraordinary.

wats the difference btw the person nxt to me? wat do i hv tat others dun hv? honestly been thinking. The ans may be simple but do i reli believe it? Probably seldom ppl do think in organisations such as this. BUt honestly it does make me wonder.

Here we go!