cough* cough*....

it has finally settled in, the cough...i sound as if i'm breaking my voice for the second time and talking seems much like a chore...and its funny tat i only got the day i went back...but i suppose its not all over i guess, i may not be able to speak but i'll at least prepare soemthin for tomolo, more or less the lesson plan is there, just need to do up the slides. if anythin just pray my voice or a voice returns tomolo and tat the children will be receptive. I noe its not my first time doin kids church, but seriously i think its the first time i'm reli takin the things given to me seriously and it was an opening frm God.

Wells i dun reli expect to recover so soon. BUt with God anythin can happen. one highlight was my ippt! reli thank God for the silver i now hv!!!

there and back...

wells my 3rd bookout and my first v.long wkend. Wells wats there to say. Honestly i really wanna say wats in my head. Wells let me be organized for once and lay down the thoughts in my head.

1. boRROWED a book i read last year again. Its on relationships and stuff. Wells suddenly been evaluating my relationships with ppl ard me. The one's in my bunk, the one's i've had in the past and present ones.

2. A'levels. Probably in this 2wks it may come out and i shall see the fruits of my labour. ANd i noe it would be another period of sorting out and decision making. wells most imptly its how my results will turn out.

3. Army. Whr do i go frm here on? Like i do hv my aim. I am workin hard. But will i get there?

4. Family. pretty much in a way i miss em. Not sure wats goin on there. Bros am just wondering how they are, esp my younger siblings.

5. YFers. Been a long long time since i've sat in a yf meetin in church. Been awhile since i've reli had fellowship with them.

6. Catching up. Somehow met up with my jc classmates, realised i couldnt stop talkin abt life in tekong tat i somehow cant quite connect with em in a sense dat the things they talk abt i somehow find it hard to relate. BUt yea its not dat i cant, its just adjusting again? Even among my other frens. BUt yea i guess dun mind if i ask ya guys wats up lol.

oh wells i suppose the more i think now the list will just be longer. And prolly i'll scare myself with all this "worries" i hv. BUt i wouldnt say i'm worried? Its more like, i acknowledge all this thats bugging me yet i dun want em to bug me?

Wells packed my room today. Finally all my A-level bks wksheets are in boxes and a big trash bag. Just puttin em on standby in case of anythin happens durin results day. So for now my room is "clean" and for once walkable and not like some swampy area. Whr every step is either a piece of dirty clothing or wkshts and books. (okok its an exaggeration but reli i feel like dat and sometimes i wish to be at my bunk becoz of the order there lol and its neater there) Wells ok at least now i'm gonna put some order and tell my bro the stand by condition of our room when i come back. Hahas... kidding

ANyway been thinking through abt my first month in bmt. How rushed it was, how packed it was, and how fast it all seemed to fly. And now am alr in my last leg through bmt. And as i kinda look back i realised tat God reli was in all of it. In a sense tat somehow the timings, and the ppl i crossed paths with are blessings in their own way. To name one is the timing of everything. For a mth everythin was rushed, everythin was fast and jammed pack and 2wkends burnt, yet now its so timely tat i get a long break and a few long wkends comin. And i'm just left with my physical phase of bmt. But so far i guess God's been good.

WElls i suppose i am more or less settled down in army but its funny tat v.soon i'll be out of there. And recently i've passed my ippt and am workin now to get tat aim i hv in mind. But yea b4 i booked in the other time had a verse thrust upon me. ANd somehow it has stuck to me like glue to remind me of how I will kp pressing on.

PS37:4Delight thyself also in the LORD; and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart.

wells during my v.precious admin times and quiet times i opened up and read the whole psalm, and somehow i realised dat the whole psalm is addressing a prayer i uttered once. Abt how i'd ought to live in such conditions. U noe in the army, its reli a place whr one can change alot in v.diff ways. ANd most end up speakin in "army" language, view women as pleasure items etc. And yet as i read through the psalm it just encouraged me. And just comforted me. Wells honestly i myself am reli havin a thrill of a ride, tat there is never a moment whr i would not thank God for! If i were to list it all down it would be never endin.

but yea i've been tastin so much of this tat somehow in my head i wonder how would i then bless others. Take this sunday, was prayin and then came an opportunity! Nxt sunday i'm doin kids church bible lesson. It's probably my first time to prepare a bible lesson, but its on isaiah and funny i've done a study on tat. But my thought is how do i relate it all to the kids? Wells i suppose let God lead me. N yea this fri is staje ihdc, hopefully can get an evenin book out if it is a long wkend. And as for this sat yf annivessary prayin dat it'd be a good one.

wells reli thankful for those who hv been prayin for me. If u think God doesnt answer prayers ask me and i'll tell u wat he has done for me so far! :D

And yea I pray for more opportunities to bless others i guess. Aside frm my personal walk i reli miss knowing about others walk with God. Like i feel as if i'm livin for myself sometimes. Which is bad but oh wells. I suppose God will make a way.

ANyway picked up a notebook while cleanin up and saw this quote, pretty interestin or shd i say, inspiring? Goes somethin like:

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,

Courage to change the things I can,

and the wisdom to know the difference.

wells i guess it applies across the board? especially i guess when my results come out? hahas oh wells enogh for now till nxt time i guess.

the story so far....

hmmmm i guess the long mths silence or so just explains how much things have been goin through my head...apart frm missin my family and frens, being in the army is certainly a challenge. Apart frm learnin to become one and getting used to the daily routines, i'd hv to say i've been blessed with a grp of ppl whom i appreciate. Even though they are vulgar, enjoy fhm and maxim and hv different perspectives and takes on life, its interesting of wat a joy it is to be with em, getting to noe em as individuals, how they see life and so. For the past few wks i guess i've been treadin on water, testin and finding ways to stay a float... but i guess now i've found a balance, wells i intend to reli form real frens here, but i'll see how the Lord leads and so far am thankful for the ppl ard me, my bunk mates, platoon mates, the sergeants....

Well if u were to ask me how's army i'd say its fun. hahas tats the first word dat pops in my head. Fun. In wat sense u may ask? I dun reli noe, but i enjoy it? either than the tekan sessions when things dont get done as they shd and the conflictin orders among our commanders, overalll its an experience.

but wat is it i'm learnin and understanding frm all this? i gues i'm learnin more abt myself and also abt how ppl tick, frm the sergeants to commanders and ways of motivatin ppl. i dunnoe i got bite size pieces of thougths stored in boxes this past few wks, and so far haven reli sorted them out...everyday i sense myself posed with challenges, and of course one set by the devil and God himself....

put it this way, when ur stuck with a bunk of guys readin fhm and maxim all day, u would be drawn in to noe wat they are talkin abt, but when u noe abt it then how do i deal with it? for me i've been stayin away frm it...been like spendin my time on my bunk bed readin my bks and sometimes playin away on my frens hp, but some other times the temptation is there, the want is there, yet every other time i pray dat i hv the strength to turn away. BUt its difficult and it is a struggle i face day in day out. another is the language, but yea sometimes i wonder if there were better words to use. Some say tat u hv to use it so ppl will understand, but do we? but oh wells just thoughts for now. Though i do sometimes fall into this trap, i am aware of it, and always try not to use it...

but oh wells its not by my strength alone i can get through this. And still durin this moments He gives a song.

if not one but a few...but reli as i kp pressin on, i noe its just a period of time whr God is shaping and mouldin me to be the man He wants me to be. Pretty ideal dun u think? BUt why not? B4 any metal is removed frm its ore, it must be put through fire? Through the furnace than will u get the pure metal? And I guess even in the field durin the past 6 days whenever i wake up at nite or get aroused frm slp due to the discomforts, i look up in the sky and see the moonlight shinnin down on me and i think how great is He who watches over me. But its amazin lar how bright the moon shines at night... Beautiful indeed...

oh wells tats how my army life is so far....will be back to tell more.....