*note if the following words look familiar to you, and the scenarios that may be described appear as if you saw it on some movie, well its coincidental or shd i say, probably out of the million other websites in the world there'd be one who might be sayin exactly the same thing as i am right now?
technicalities and grammar mistakes aside and let me just regurgitate wats been goin through this head of mine.*
There is this famous line commonly used that i guess probably earned itself a cliche. The line, "What if this life we're living is all a bad dream? And that the moment we wake up, whatever happened in this life are just all imprints of the subconscious mind. Cluttered up in a mass of gray matter."
Its funny, the many different ideas we take life for. Some think tat its all pre-determined, pre-destined and fated, others think its just one cycle of a couple of other cycles and probably the most absurd is that we are just like any other matter in this place, a complicated mass of electrons, protons and neutrons being subjected to electrons, protons and neutrons.( well there my be more absurd ideas but this is as absurd as i can think of)
But what is my take of this life I'm living?
routine? insanity? illusive? deluded?
hmmmm makes me wonder. sometimes i guess we think too much of the negatives tat we forget abt the positives in life. and sometimes the positives are outweighed dat we shove em aside.
but can we categorise everything as negative and positive? not everything is black and white? not everything is logical? not everythin is dollars and cents? not everything has to be red, yellow, black and white. A combination of all this factors i guess make up life? or does it?
do we wanna believe in time travel? whr we can go through vortexes in time and travel to tat exact moment, exact hr and remove all the dark and scary experiences or relieve those moments again and enhance them? Kinda funny if only changing that occurs under the condition of ceteris paribus! Coz newton's law of action and reaction trancends beyond motion alone and forces. but i guess we r too smart for our own good living in the fantasy whr anythin we want is perfect. But i think there's an irony. We can expect a world with no mistakes whr everything follows, yet even the smartest of all humans aren't perfect therefore how can a perfect fantasy exist? I guess in our heads...
fear. afraid to face that which we don't want to see. A truth maybe, that would destroy us from within. Therefore we have a defensive mechanism called pride! And yea we hate to admit that we have it. Right?
love. a feeling, a passing feeling nowadays. a loose word for a loose world today. Since that day I've never uttered it to anyone anymore. Not dat i dun believe in it, but its more than tat word dat i wanna believe in.
heart. the last time i told someone to guard their heart, i left mine opened and tat person took a knife and jabbed at it. Boy does it hurt. And the night someone talked to me abt it... gosh was a memory stirred.
damage report, wells its halfway pt, tired out frm over-regurgitation.
wells reli i din reli wanna come to pt actually, its just tat somehow i find myself whr i am and dats always nxt to you. And oh how wonderful it is when i hear the sound of ur name and i rejoice knowing u noe my name too...
mad world...now i noe why its mad...probably we shd all bury our heads in sand and probably the world will be a better place...
speaking of freedom, i think christianity shdn't be one whr we are constrained by rules. Coz come on its sad yet ironic that we shd be free from the ways of the world yet we behave much worse than the world. Yes we are suppose to be different but it doesnt mean wearing white hoods and goin ard with a hammer and judging em and sentencing and condemning them becoz of who they are. Damn it tats the only reason that stumbles me in this faith. That we go abt sayin i'm more righteous than you so you get out of my face pagan! or we say eeew wat kind of a life is dat, its so stumbling. and like she doesnt deserve my attention becoz she has never changed for the better. Wells i'd contradict mysefl if i say ur wrong and i'm right....geez...
mad world...mad ppl...mad lives...
