We talked about old times
And it made me smile because you didn't forget
Roy Chong
30th May 1985
roy_cmh@yahoo.com.sg
Tuesday, May 27, 2008, 9:37 am
Home is no longer the place that I look foward to go, after a tiring day of work.......
I need to be alone.......
All alone.......
To a place no one can find me.......
To a place no one can see me.......
To a place no one can hear me.......
Bye..........
Monday, May 26, 2008, 12:49 pm
History repeats itself as usual....
Everytime before my birthday, problems will come running towards me. It seems like a tradition. That's why sometimes I don't like my birthday at all. I will always try to not remember my birthday as I know that something big is going to happen. And true enough, it happened yesterday.
Quarrel with my parents yesterday regarding a stupid MAID and her dog. I walked out of my house after that. Totally just want to get away from that place. When i was walking endlessly to no where, I suddenly realised something. My friends are really so little. When I need someone to talk to, there seems to be no one that I can turn to. Its really sad. No one that can listen to me, and talk to me heart to heart. People that I thought would actually give me a call, after I tell them about what happened, didn't. No one seem to care.
Then just as I was sitting at one corner in self depression mode, someone called on my handphone. Someone that I didn't really expect that he would call me, as I seldom met up with him, and seldom talk to him on phone, actually called me and ask me what's wrong, and is willing to talk to me. God is actually kind to me. He actually send me someone to be there for me. Its from situations like this, where I really can find true friends. I was really blessed with such a friend, a buddy.
Anyway, things seems to be quite bad now. I don't think I will ever get along with my brother ever again. How I wish I could move out and rent a place myself. How can I share a room with him ever again after what happened?
Speaking of friends problem, I think I am really cursed in a way. My friends are always getting away from me, and getting closer to my other friends. Confusing? Its just like when I intro a friend to another one of my friend, they always get close and I will just get further and further away. Maybe I should quit my current job to become a match maker. This is real bad, and I really hated this feeling.
I know after reading this post, some of my friends might get offended, and it might even cause our friendship to end. If that's the case, I respect that decision. But I had to release everything inside me. This is how I feel. I had no choice but to express myself out, if not I think I might become crazy.
Sometimes i really wonder to myself, if I die, will my friends come for my funeral? Will they feel sad or they will just treat it as just another ending of a human being which is no big deal?
I guess I will only know the answer when I look at my own body in a coffin. I wonder when that will be. Maybe its time?
Looks like its gonna be another bad birthday for me........
I hate my birthday.........
Wednesday, May 21, 2008, 12:01 pm
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