Year End Resolution

I really need to be more determined and get my ass moving! I bet I've said this a million time, but lets just note my resolutions again:

1) Be more punctual in terms of reaching and leaving work!
2) Pick up Piano again! :(
3) Start exercising and loosing weight!
4) Start sleeping before 11pm!
5) Start groooming myself. (this is a new one tho!) After so many years, ok, perhaps i should really start dressing up, take care of my skin, my frizzy hair aand stuff. sighh.. we shall see, we shall see.

Perhaps I should set a timetable for myself or somthing. So Thursday is Exercise day, and hmm Saturday is Piano day? Well, starting once a week is better than nothing right?

 Some thoughts that have been bothering me for a few days now :
a)  Many of my colleagues are actually quite workaholics and they worked till like 8-9pm everyday..and even worked through the weekend and stuff. I really dont think that I'm a slacker type, but looking at how they work, there is just no way i m going to be better than them you know. I would say that i WAS an ambitious person , but seriously after working awhile, I really see no need it slaving my life away just to earn money.

b) I have another dilemma too, so as I was saying in my previous post, my new boss is such an asshole. but anyway, most people do really look down on the job scope of my work now.. cause they feel that it isnt that important. Well I do agree. But I love my job scope. It was practically what I interviewed for! Though yes it is not that practical yet, cause we are implementing so many of them so fast that we dont have the expertise to maintain it...and it became more on beautifying than cleaning water naturally now. sigh. the focus is abit off... but the whole purpose/existence of this change is just so noble (more environmentally friendly and stuff, though at this stage it is still rather gimmicky...), i really want to be part of it. But yet I cant exactly defend it when people keep putting it down. :( Anyway the dilemma is that, they offered me the more "prestigious" job scope and ask me if i wanna take it up. If I dont take it up, i may be condemned..............But if i do take it up, i dont exactly like it. Well, i dont mind the work, but if i have a choice,. i really dont wanna do the more "prestigious" work. One of my friend was telling me not to "gen qian guo bu qu"... which is rather true also. hmmm.

random thoughts

1. Its interesting how people who are active in replying, commenting and liking your facebook stuff are not your close friends in real life.

2. Was seriously affected by my new boss, cos he keeps telling me that my job is second tier, unimportant etc. and he keeps putting my job scope down infront of my whole division..which was damn annoying. i mean what is the whole purpose of doing this? after days of thinking...i finally came to a conclusion, he was afraid that my job scope would overshadow his in time to come.. and that it would be the next new thing. i mean if he isnt afraid, then why bother to go through all the trouble to even put my job scope down right? so unprofessional. asshole.

3.

faces VS characters

Many a times i do see similarity with some certain faces and the person's personalities.... and this just makes me feel that our character and our attitude very much depends on our genes! i mean how do we explain why many a times two unrelated person that looks alike and have rather similar characters and stuff?

sometimes, i do want some stuff. but when it seems like everyone is in a mad rush for it, i get abit turned off and i dont even want it anymore.

hmm, i guess maybe it is cos the novelty is not there anymore?

hmm, am talking about the despicable me toys, haha its rather cute. i dont exactly want it.... but its quite cute and i dont mind buying happy meal for it. but then again, once everyone seem to be rushing for it, i m like quite sure i dont want it anymore. maybe because i have ego issues. hahaha i just dont want to follow the crowd and be like everyone else. xD maybe.

Sigh. work sux big time. Once again I feel that it is me against the world.

I really don't mind being helpful and all but seriously... If I help ppl and all they do is start pushing all the responsibility to me..and also blaming me for stuff.. Then of cos damn yuan wang right?????

What's the point of helping if u are unappreciated. Pissed.

many things that i wanna say...but suddenly got lazy. anyway long story short.. suddenly i have someone that is kinda understudying me. And i can see that he have some rather annoying flaws...and i just dont know if i should tell him:

1. He refuses to admit his mistakes. seriously, sometimes i think that the most stupid people are those who doesn't admit their mistakes...because they think that they are always right and that they are the best ..so there is like no need for them to further better themselves. And the weirdest thing is that two of the people i know who have this flaw is 2 rather junior officers (ie. lower ranking than me..when i m not even high ranking to begin with) and i seriously wonder why they have such confidence and huge heads. O.O I mean, i really see alot of potential in him, like sometimes he really thinks about stuff that I may overlook, which is very commendable. But like everyone else too, sometimes he makes mistakes and well, he should just admit them rather than making the other person sound wrong. ESPECIALLY when the other person is his superior. And sometimes, well, even if your superior really made a mistake... you need to give him some face.. and it is OK if the superior doesnt admit! seriously! And the superior is not me k. its my boss's boss. So yah, give the boss some face dude!


2. Recently it seems that he improved maybe he saw my annoyed look whenever he use that one damn word. But the one word really annoys me. because... sometimes.. it seems like he only has ONE conjunction in his dictionary. Cant stand it! Like no matter what situation it is, he will just use "however". its so annoying, *screams*. and there is a certain cocky tone to it that makes it even more annoying.

The perfect family

Had a gathering with friends and one of my friends was like saying how i have this concept of a perfect family with a boy and a girl leaving in a perfect hdb flat etc. like how the government propaganda works..blah blah and how it isnt the truth cause..well look at our own family! and i think the reason why he has commitment phobia or why he doesnt wanna settle down was because of the experience at home and stuff (but who knows..i cant understand exactly why anyone wouldnt want to settle down..cos i guess maybe i m more needy=x)

so anyway i m assuming that my friend didnt want a family cos his is kinda screwed up. then i m thinking.. my family is kinda screwed up too what... why do i want a family of my own. then i remembered... actually since very long ago.. like since young say primary school? All i wanted was to have my own family and to turn things right. haha but ok la, my family isn't too bad now. Just that there were many things that i hope was different when i was younger, but of cos i cldnt change them, so then i thought to myself that when i became a parent i must do this this this and not that and stuff.

 but when the day comes and i really become a parent i guess i may just become like them. oh well~

i m weird.

i knew i wasnt cut out to be in the sales sector and i never ever aspire to start up my own company or anything. and after some try outs and blunders, i realised even more so that i m not cut out in the business line, cos i cannot bear to earn my friends money! =.= because i m a person with so much guilty conscience or whatever you call that.

so although i m selling the stuff at really cheap prices...i end up selling my friends stuff at the actual price i got them at.. or even giving the stuff to them. then end up not even making money leh. so ridiculous.

like i cant even surf facebook on my work computer without feeling all jittery, when i have a rather private cubicle where nobody can see my computer. lets just say i cant even bring myself to surf facebook. and it takes me alot of guts to use the workplace printer to print even say 1 page of my personal stuff. =.= thats why i have a printer at home...like i dont think any of the bosses care. and i know alot of ppl print their own stuff usin the printer at work..but sometimes i m so jittery that i bu da zhi zhao =.=

hai. "paiseh-ness" is kinda my weakness too. too paiseh to wear a cap under the hot sun when bosses dont wear. when other of my colleagues just open their huge umbrellas. too paiseh to keep bosses in the email thread cos i m afraid that they feel that i m spamming them.

i think sometimes i over think, which puts alot more pressure on myself =.= like i know, but i just cannot help it. anyway, for a start, i m learning /forcing myself to hold an umbrella under the hot sun when i m at site now. cos my skin is really suffering like crap! extremely burnt and wrinkly =(

argh, there I cant seem to have different nick names for different blogs! this is kinda stupid, cos usually different blogs would mean different character and purpose, so how can we use the same damn nickname!  And I dont want all of my blogs to be interlinked! =.= sigh.

bcos i'm pissed.

sometimes i wonder, why are there even living things? like maybe we should all die, and then earth will just be like the other planets. bleah.

who's afraid of the big bad wolf!

Paradox

http://media-cache-ec3.pinterest.com/550x/69/93/2d/69932dffa31630d6c73f91ef95393aa6.jpg

The power of music.

Its rather amazing how at times certain songs on the radio just seems to jumps out at you, and when you start googling the lyrics, and it kinda describes what you were feeling then.

Anyway guys are sometimes just so dumb. Bleah. Relationships needs to be constantly reaffirm. It need not be things you have done. It can be things you have not done or just some subtle actions that leads to such doubt from arising. But ok I agree that girls are sometimes too overly sensitive too, but it isn't without legitimate reasons k.

Girl :
Right from the start
You were a thief you stole my heart
And I your willing victim
I let you see the parts of me
That weren't all that pretty
And with every touch you fixed them
Now you've been talking in your sleep
Things you never say to me
Tell me that you've had enough
Of our love, our love

Just give me a reason
Just a little bit's enough
Just a second we're not broken just bent
And we can learn to love again
It's in the stars
It's been written in the scars on our hearts
We're not broken just bent
And we can learn to love again

Boy:
Im sorry I don't understand where all of this is coming from
I thought that we were fine
(Girl : Oh we had everything)
Your head is running wild again
My dear we still have everything
And its all in your mind
(Girl : Yeah but this is happening)
You've been having real bad dreams
Oh oh
You used to lie so close to me
Oh oh
There's nothing more than empty sheets
Between out love, our love, oh our love, our love

New Year Resolution!

1) Lose some weight !
2) Play and record one full piano music =)
3) Be more punctual? haha I dont really feel much motivation for this....=X

Runaway Brides

http://sg.entertainment.yahoo.com/blogs/singapore-showbiz/runaway-brides-singapore-janice-story-part-1-035439074.html

http://sg.entertainment.yahoo.com/blogs/singapore-showbiz/runaway-brides-singapore-picking-pieces-part-two-104152986.html


Hmmm, have been hearing such stories lately. Totally cant understand why people does this. Maybe the girl is fickled minded, or there is not sparks anymore after so many years, or the guy really starts taking her for granted after so many years of the relationship or smthing.. guess the guy cld have salvage the situation by not brushing her off when she voices her doubts and considering seriously to go see a counselor bah. But its like quite inconsiderate of the girl to run away too la.

i have a few frens with really long relationships too, getting their flat soon and getting married. But sometimes can really tell that sometimes they start wavering at their decisions...and i dont know what to tell them either..cos ok when ppl complain about their other half u end up only hearing the bad stuff and hardly the good.. so how to judge?

But I always believe in one thing....as long as BOTH parties are willing to make the relationship work, it will. I mean, if you can be boy girl friends for so long, there must be something between the two of you. So if matchmaking can work... what more someone you have chosen for yourself and have hang out with for so long? Unless he suddenly change alot or something...