sigh. emo. :(

:)

moody =(

i need to learn to not dwell on stuff. sigh.

my hypothesis on my suan legs

i have a theory on why i have that suan calves feeling that makes me wanna stretch. maybe cos i learn dance and after much stretching and practices my whatever that is called("jin") gets stretched and is longer. .so once i stop stretching.. it kinds of gets shroter by the time or smthing..like a rubberband. so when it is erm destretching.. maybe that feeling will feel suan. so wanna stretch it back.

work exp

haha i think one of them was guilty about me finding out that he left much early from work ytd. so he started flirting with me via sms and stuff today, asking me to not work so hard blah blah blah. ok i cant deny i like talking to him, cos he is kinda funny too? 40yr old uncle. but idle chitchat thru sms is just crossing the line la i think. esp if he's flirting. tsk.

then another guy whatsapp me about work (actually i was thinking abt the exact some problem too! i was thinking if i shd sms him to ask abt smthing). then he went ending the conversation with "sighhhhh, i cant stop thinking abt work even when i m home" or smthing along that line. hahaha damn funny, cos really like trying to put up a show. then i replied "sighh, me too." xD

sometimes i feel like a teacher/mother, sometimes a feel like a kid.

the best thing is that i know they mean no harm. as in i think they are really nice people with no ill intentions/thoughts, and i think that means alot.

ok now that i'm closer to 3 of my guys, haha need to bond more with the 2 incharge! alamak.think cos the 2nd ICs are usually younger so easier to bond with them. and yah 40 yrs old would mean young here. but i m so antisocialll... i am shy tooo.

head full of inky water.

so what if i haven gotten into dean's list and almost got first class? somehow i think i would be able to produce as much results as those third class grads. i just cant see myself putting in so much effort. god knows why. and thats so saddening. i wonder if i'm just being negative and blah. but arghhh, wonder if i would be able to perform. i am such a loser.

and recently i keep having short term memory. i keep forgetting people's name! and not someone i just met. its someone i have been calling and talking to alot of times already! goodness gracious me. and i forgot her name twice today! =.= and someone's elses too. and i forgot what my boss told me a moment ago.

sigh, i'm so disappointed with myself. why am i so slack? i seriously cant see myself chionging anything or writing any report. zzzzz. i dont even want to do anything! crappp. i dont know why. i dont know what happen to the ambitious/competitive me. rawr. need to get my drive back.

naughty bee :(

and somehow i think my colleagues think i m a slacker already. damn it!

it is always like that de lehhh.

but its like even though i am a slacker.. i aint THAT slack de you know. like i will paiseh then i will find stuff to do. so no matter how slack i am i aint that slack. aye!

colleagues were talking about how they shd avoid giving birth to a dragon baby so as to avoid all the competition and stress the baby will face in future. then i was like haha i'm a dragon baby! and yeah it is indeed quite stress, the competition is quite high and stuff.. i mean look at how our papers are awlays one of the hardest and the admission is always more strict. but ok thinking of it again.. it isnt THAT bad either. (well cos i haven really been competing with other batches of ppl so i cant exactly compare either hahaha)

then i was saying.. haiya good what.. help me prepare for the future. then they said like what? for a moment i kinda stun also.. hahaha cos i m like more nua than ever now. =X yah what preparations were i making. haha i guess i m tired from all the chionging. now i just wanna take it easy... i love my job so far !!! :D yayyy happy! =)

zombified.
someone ate my brains.

apart from work, i haven been doing anything productive for a long time. sometimes i do feel rather lost and aimless. but most of the times i just feel nua. and the worst thing is.. i kind of dont mind leading such a life.. but ok i probably regret wasting so much time 10 years down the road or smthing.

today i realized that..

1) i do talk and act like a baby sometimes =.= like those 1 year old kind. alamak.
but i dont like socialising with them, or rather i wont. i wont even wanna try to play with them. i'm antisocial much! :( rather bad at small talks too.

2) a young girl coming up to you to whisper that you are pretty makes you feel really good and confident... till you realise she said that to your sister too.. n u wonder if she really means it.


ok i realised alot of stuff actually. but aye lazy to write le.

being critical, particular or taking pride sometimes is just a fine line apart.

and sian i m scratching alot again.

stone.

diner dash 5 isnt that fun, cos u cant preempt things that are going to happen cos if the dish isnt serve you cant click it! ayeee.

and after staring at the screen levels after levels.. i feel so zombified, abit empty and aimless.

aye its such a weird feeling.probably the same effect after doing something extremely repetitive after a long while.


ok i shall sleep now!

eee, these few days/weeks i scare myself! >.< rawr.

played a rather stupid game that is actually quite popular.. i think. arghhhh, feel so lame after playing cos its kinda not that fun yet tho i'm suppose to use my brains i didnt.. so arghhhh. i feel totally retarded. =.= its quite a stupid feeling. no pun intended.

i really wonder what i m going to do in future. =(

if i work outdoors the sun makes my skin itch and stuff.
working in front of the computer stresses out my eyes. like seriously pain kind leh. not extremely pain, but its really stressed out that i dont wanna open my eyes at all.
being a housewife also fail, unless ok i use gloves when washing dishes and clothes.

hmm, maybe i should be a piano teacher? staring at piano scores shd be okie! hahaha but i aint good at it. ayee.

ok maybe i think too much again. or worry too much.. hmm shall see how!

money money money, if only i m rich!

haha cute song!

Lion King!

OMG after much hem and hawing and panic researching i finally bought the tickets to lion king! eeeeekss! tell me dress circle is much better than stall seats please!!!! bleahhhh. suffered from both pre and post buying syndrome.



Nants ingonyama bagithi baba (There comes a lion)
Sithi uhhmm ingonyama (Oh yes, it's a lion)

Nants ingonyama bagithi baba
Sithi uhhmm ingonyama
Ingonyama

Siyo Nqoba (We're going to conquer)
Ingonyama
Ingonyama nengw' enamabala (Here is a lion and a tiger)

[repeat chant]

From the day we arrive on the planet
And blinking, step into the sun
There's more to see than can ever be seen
More to do than can ever be done
There's far too much to take in here
More to find than can ever be found
But the sun rolling high
Through the sapphire sky
Keeps great and small on the endless round

Chorus:

It's the Circle of Life
And it moves us all
Through despair and hope
Through faith and love
Till we find our place
On the path unwinding
In the Circle
The Circle of Life

[repeat chorus]