meeerrrrooooowwww~

>.<

some preview of my thoughts now

my thoughts are always hardly organized and i kinda hate it cos it makes me confused much.

-chicken and egg theory
wanted to set the title as, "i'm moody, so i think alot. then i wondered, maybe it was i think alot thats why i'm moody"

-what ifs
sometimes in life we need to worry less about what ifs and learn to live more.

but yet we need to weigh our options.
how do we even give options a weight!

-gender roles
there are some preset societal concept of how things should be and sometimes i wonder that when i cross the line if it would come back and haunt me in future. i think its highly likely that it would. and that sux. already thought i avoided the taboo step, but then again i dont know. did i really? its not the fact that the step indeed is taboo to people around the person in picture but rather its something that would affect the person in picture only. because maybe the person probably becomes highly paranoid of all possible connection to event one and thus neglecting everything around that are real evidences of the exact opposite.


women ..
..are really complicated creatures. haha wanted to explain more.. but its just so tough to explain. hahaha.

example : If A only leads to B.
Sometimes B = A
Sometimes B = !A (and an attempt to have A.)

oh A is a subset of B! ok i dunno what i'm thinking anymore

haha sleep!

i kinda want a work and non work phone. cos all the warning sms-es are like.. quite.. annoying. like.. yay got a sms! oh.. warning sms.. bleah. tend not to pick up unknown phone numbers nowadays also.. cos haha super duper hate annoying pesky people whom ok i need something from them but i just dont wanna face it now first. they spoil my mood ttm. like seriously why are u rushing me into a decision. if it bothers u that much to just wait like i said..then get lost. seriously. i can find someone else to do my business. who wanna gets so stress over ins. zzzz.

1615 -

haha can buy 4 D number.

haha thats the number of smses i am deleting from my phone now. since 28 June. ok la, not that much..given that probably 50 is some auto warning sms-es from today alone? =.=

i'm weird =(

past few days my legs are like extremely .. suan/restless or smthing. argh. then the past 2 days my dreams were extremely adventurous yet nightmare-ish and i wake up like many times in between and falling back to sleep shortly after. then when i wake up, all my blanket pillow are off my bed, bedsheets like 2 corners out also. at my parents and bro's bed also like tt =.= alamak. seriously what was i doing while sleeping. then i woke up with extremely sore calves.

i really think i have this http://www.helpguide.org/life/restless_leg_syndrome_rls.htm

why do i have so many problems? ok at least its not something scary.

guilt trip

when someone tries to make you feel guilty for thinking/feeling/doing things a certain way. or when someone tries to make you do whatever they want you to. so they start making you feel bad about something.. so then you'll give in and do whatever they want. "he convinced me to do what he wanted by guilt tripping me!

i hate this! haha realised i wrote emotional blackmail previously.. which wasnt as apt, or like totally wrong. its more of guilt tripping me! bloody ins agts.

:(

11 rules from billgates speech

Rule 1: Life is not fair - get used to it!

Rule 2: The world doesn't care about your self-esteem. The world will expect you to accomplish something BEFORE you feel good about yourself.

Rule 3: You will NOT make $60,000 a year right out of high school. You won't be a vice-president with a car phone until you earn both.

Rule 4: If you think your teacher is tough, wait till you get a boss

Rule 5: Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your Grandparents had a different word for burger flipping: They called it opportunity.

Rule 6: If you mess up, it's not your parents' fault, So don't whine about your mistakes, learn from them.

Rule 7: Before you were born, your parents weren't as boring as they are now. They got that way from paying your bills, cleaning your clothes and listening to you talk about how cool you thought you were. So before you save the rain forest from the parasites of your parent's generation, try delousing the closet in your own room. Keep yourself clean.

Rule 8: Your school may have done away with winners and losers, but life HAS NOT. In some schools, they have abolished failing grades and they'll give you as MANY TIMES as you want to get the right answer. *This doesn't bear the slightest resemblance to ANYTHING in real life.

Rule 9: Life is not divided into semesters. You don't get summers off and very few employers are interested in helping you FIND YOURSELF. *Do that on your own time.

Rule 10: Television is NOT real life. In real life people actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs.

Rule 11: Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one…

=( have been gaining weight ever since i started work! or maybe even before that. i keep having the urge to eat and eat and eat! or rather snack! damn it. and sian, hate ins agents, hate the emotional blackmail. meeting one tml. think i wld prob buy. sian.

hate emotional blackmail! stupid insurance agents

i have a huge urge to eat lunch alone many a times. sometimes its seriously more tiring to be eat with people! especially when u arent interested in the topics, or dunno wat to say that its like desperately fidning stuff to talk abt all the time.

haha maybe tml i will just walk to somewhere furhter to eat alone and stone.
i'm such a loner at times. socializing is extremely draining =(

ahh the curse of the stupid overly sensitive skin. =(

after a few mornings at site, my neck is feeling so burnt/raw/damaged/irritable.

itchy nikki, scratchy scratchy scratchy

In a heartbeat~

In a heartbeat, I’ll be there for you
In a heartbeat, no one else will do
In a heartbeat,we will always be
Together, united; you and me

it is really a wonderful feeling to have someone to meet after work! :D

i felt so pek chek when i was bathing again =.= my neck feels a teeny bit sun dmg-ed again. i have start to lose my discipline and scratch again. it is just so tiring to keep controlling myself. after so many years! it is hard to be strong all the time but sometimes i wonder whether i m just getting too weak. stupid me.

i need to achieve some inner peace mannn. think my temper quite bad these days. and i m emitting alot of heat too. aye!

hahaha, i was so bored today i read about anger management on the intranet today and one of the ways to do so was to have a angry journal or smthing where u write everything u want to say word for word.

but i realized smthing, the trouble about nothing down angry stuff or sad stuff like what this blog is for.. is that in the end all these are the things that gets noted and recorded =.= then in the end like defeats the purpose. haha sometimes maybe i should learn to blog about happy stuff so that i can rmb/read aboout it nx time!! but sometimes paiseh you know haha

great discovery! haha

rachel platten is kinda a combination of regina spektor and lenka!

doncha think so?! =D

the starting she is so pretty!

i'm such a emo nemo today.

rawr. the bump on my head is back! :( think cos i sweat alot of something. god noes. sighh. went to site today, kinda thrilled with everything, yet the heat was killing me and i was scratching all over. sometimes i think, i really want to be an engineer. but with such stupid skin, am i going to survive? as in will i be happy in a whole? i dont know. its such a dilemma , just like sports!

ok la everything should be ok la. rawr. haha just whining and sighh emo abit.

it is tough to try and keep my head up! *whines*

and i feel that sometimes people are avoiding me slightly or unhappy that i keep sneezing. like why sick still go work and spread right? but the thing is.. it happens everyday! =( i aint sick. i just got a stupid nose and i dont know what to do with it too. rawr.

work makes me slightly depressed. i think cause there isnt enough young people here to form a clique with and to talk to kind. so far, i think i'm the only fresh graduate that i know on my level.

everyday after work i so desperately feel like going out for dinner or something, but when i think about my miserable bank account and how i need to sleep early for the next day.. then damn sian. tsk~

but ok i trust that things will get better when i slowly fit in.

ahhhh, what a crazy morning. kind of. many rude awakenings >.<

ok, now isnt really the time to blog, haha but arghh why cant i have a nice a clean workplace! i'm starting to scratch so much already! ok better go pack see what other necessity i need to bring to work to make workplace nicer :D