懂得翻身了！

今天早上，妈妈听到婆婆兴奋的叫声，妈妈马上就知道发生什么事。

你自己翻身了！一直以来，你的大头和大屁股常常令你无法翻身，虽然你的颈项已经很强硬，可是头和身体的比例不一，屁股又胖胖的，每每看你，就是翻不过来。

婆婆说，今天早上，你把头抬起来，然后用手使力，然后就翻身了！在你四个月又五天的时候，你懂得翻身了！

妈妈错过了你第一次翻身，不过，下次妈妈会把你翻身的录起来，让你长大后看看。

怎么说，今天都是你成长的一个旅程碑。

Introducing food to Janna

Today, you are 4 months old.

Other than mama's breast milk, you have tried grapes, honeydew, watermelon popsicle and ice kacang.

You always lick the food and really enjoying them.

Whenever you see us eating, your eyes spark and you stare at our food - swallowing your saliva.

Janna, mama can't wait to introduce more food to you.

I am sure you will love it!

Mama's diary to Janna - 11 May 2011

Baby Janna

You are talking more now. Sometimes, mama so wish that mama understand what you were saying. It must be something fun!

Mama recorded some of your 'chat' with mama to show to you when you grow up so that you can explain what you were trying to say.

You still can't turn yet. We figured it's because your head and buttock are big, so you need extra effort to turn. hahaha...

You don't like us to sit down while carrying you. You want to 'walk' around. Whenever we sit down, you will complain and kick your legs... until we walk you around. Sometimes, we tried to fool you by sitting down slowly and shake our legs to mimic the walking movement but you seem to know more than we thought you should. Hmm... very smart girl.

Mama hopes that you can sleep in your own bed at night, you always cry and want to be cuddle to sleep, even though you will sweat because of being hold too close. Mama hopes you learn to enjoy the space and comfy your bed offers to you.

Your weight is more than 50th percentile, but mama thinks it's only right that you are chubby than skinny. As long as you are healthy, we don't need to put you on diet at your 4th month old.

Mama always sing to you - you seem to like music. When mama sings, you will look at mama and listen. When you cry, the music from Baby Eistein works like magic. You will stop crying and just look at it.

You are now 4 months old. Mama can't wait to see what other progress you'll make.

Mama's diary to Janna

Dear precious Janna,

Mama decided to use mama's blog to record your every little progress.

Mama is very sorry that mama is lazy to do that previously. You have been remarkably active baby, for what your grandpopo and grandgonggong told me.

In your 5th week old, you already managed to turn your head when you slept on your stomach. Mama didn't see it but popo and gong gong saw it and was surprised at your progress. You managed to turn your head for more comfortable pose when you slept on your stomach. Grandgongong and grandpopo were worried that you might not be able to turn and suffocate. But they saw you raised your head with your 'then-not-so-strong-neck' and turned to the other side. They were amazed. When you were 8wks old, you can already hold your head for awhile - before mama let you rest worrying that you might hurt your neck.

For a baby that is slightly more than 2 months, your kick is very strong. You always kick when you are angry, or hungry, or need to burp, or when you get to put your feet onto something... you will just kick.

After your confinement aunty left, Kakak Lea came to take care of you. Grandpopo and Kakak used to bath you in your little bath tub together. One day, when you were about 8-9wks old, you stood up in the bath tub while they were bathing you. Mama remembered hearing both of them giggling in the bathroom, and wondered what was that. Grandpopo was very happy and amazed that you actually stood up at such a young age. And from then on, you like to 'stand up' whenever people hold you.

By the time you were 3 months old, you can already recognize people. You started to make sound like hmm... ehh... ahh.... ermm... and laughed with your mouth opened very widely showing your little dimple on your left cheek. Whenever grandgongong talks to you, you will smile and talk to him for a long time. You started to 'talk' with lots of different sounnds when you where about 3mth and 2wks old. Sometimes, you talked really loudly. Mama has to admit, your voice is really CUTE! Mama just won't get tired listening to it.

That's all for now.

Your mama.

I am my own boss now

I have never thought of doing my own business. Even though I am a super workcoholic, I see leaving corporate career life as a high risk - I am comfortable in receiving pay cheques every month without needing to worry much.

Work has been busy and stress as usual to the point that I started questioning myself on the need to sacrifice my time for work and not for myself, my husband, my family and now, my newborn baby. With every single reason telling me that 'IT'S NOT WORTH IT!', on 21 Mar 2011, I quit my job with the agency that I worked for 8 years and 1 Apr 2011, I signed off a 6mth office rental for my new office. Kinda cool even when I thought about it. hihihi

The office location is very near to home. I can walk home quick enough to attend to my baby CEO if she ever needs me. As a boss, I get to skip work when I don't want to, or when I woke up too many times at night for the demanding CEO. My office is facing home, where the whole building is within the view from the office windows. Although, that doesn't mean that I can see what my baby is doing at home.

What does my company do? Hmm... what I know best, or the only work I know how to do - Advertising and Marketing Communication. Am I going to compete with G2? Not a chance! I will not fight for business with them because it's just like hitting a stone with an egg. I know my place, and my place is a better place. I bet I'll make more than the CEO of Grey in a couple years time.

Choices we made in life

Seeing one of your hard work become reality and you are not part of it makes me feel empty and sad. But this is part of many choices and sacrifice we have to make at a certain point of our lives.

Being a career minded woman, I've never craved to be a housewife and doesn't have to work. It feels so disconnected when your life evolves around your baby, husband and parents. So, the decision to quit my job at the peak in my career has only one reason - to take care of Janna and spend more time with her since baby grows so fast.

Today I saw one of the projects that I started off with when I was still with G2 launched in Malaysia, as the first market out of 5 markets. I remember how we spent those nights rushing for brainstorm, how I came up with the pencil idea... and the presentations, and all the telecon with P&G just to sell the overall idea and theme. It was a very long and tough process. The cost approval was nothing easy but we managed to sign off with an amount that both party were happy with.

I handed over the jobs to my colleague because I have to leave on my maternity leave. At that time, the overall concept was already done and just going into implementation phase. I thought I would be going back to see the campaign goes life. I did not. Because I did not, I'm no longer part of the team that made this came true. Even though I do feel that this is my baby too.

Imagine you see something you created launched, it feels like you see your baby all grown up but you can't tell him that you are his mom. This is exactly how I feel now. Not a great feeling.

Not single bit at all.

Another baby that I cannot claim that it's mine...

我是一个紧张兮兮的妈妈

亦芳啊亦芳

你出生第十天，妈妈的母乳就让你太热气，沙声了。你的哭声严重到我们几乎听不到的地步。送去急诊，医生说她喉咙发炎。我的天！怎么会这样？因为妈妈吃太多姜了。你的声音用了整整两个星期才痊愈。

照顾你的坐月阿姨无微不至的照料下，妈妈那四个星期都不需要特别担心你。

你满月时，妈妈第一次用奶瓶喂你。妈妈一直排彻用奶瓶，因为担心你会有nipple confusion的问题。妈妈不想让用了四个星期的练习才慢慢克服的哺乳被无谓的混淆而全功尽弃。记得当可恶的坐月阿姨把奶瓶放进你的口中，妈妈觉得你被污染了。看着你一口一口的吸，完全没有抗拒奶瓶的预兆，妈妈忽然觉得奶瓶是妈妈的敌人。之后当妈妈给你喂奶时，你开始有了比较。奶瓶不需要你费任何力气，奶水却源源不绝。吸奶却需要你很大的力气。你开始懒惰，常常因为奶水流得慢，而发出不满的声音。

你第五个星期时，妈妈发现你肚子涨风。你一直要喝奶，可是，你的肚子涨得鼓起，圆圆的，轻轻拍打，声音就像打鼓一样。肚子里的风让你很不舒服，你望着妈妈哭，向妈妈求救，妈妈看着你，无能为力，心里更是着急。Lactation Consultant Sister Chong 帮你按摩，把风推出来，你顿时轻松舒畅了。妈妈从此就不敢懒惰，常常给你按摩。

第六个星期，你喝奶的次数增加，有时肚子明明感觉饱了，可是你还不停的要。妈妈开始怀疑你会不会因为闻到妈妈身上的气息，所以一直要喝。你的粪便的颜色由黄变绿，妈妈上网一查，糟糕！喂太多奶会让你消化不良，粪便才会变绿色。妈妈开始不敢让你喝太多。那么应该喝多少，才算不多。妈妈请教 Sister Chong, Sister Chong 要妈妈纪录你每天喝奶的分量，怎么量？从你喝剩，由妈妈挤出来的奶来量。从那天开始，妈妈就勤力地记录下你每一次喝奶，大便，睡觉的时间。

第七个星期，Sister Chong 看了妈妈的纪录，证实妈妈的奶水分量一般，妈妈开始担心，再过几个月，妈妈不够奶给越长越大的亦芳。爸爸被妈妈搞糊涂了。一个星期前，妈妈担心亦芳喝太多奶。一个星期后，妈妈担心不够奶。妈妈从网上发现可以增加奶水的fenugreek,经过几个阿姨的认同，妈妈二话不说，赶紧买来服用。

第八个星期，你两个月大了。妈妈发现你的粪便不再那么的黄，更多时候是青色，而且开始有青色和带鼻涕似的粪便。在上网一查，不得了！孩子喝的初奶和后奶不平衡,喝太多初奶，胃不能消化它的糖分，而造成细菌感染！细菌感染！妈妈开始逼你一定要喝完一边的奶，才让你喝另外一边。过了一阵子，带鼻涕似的粪便不再出现。

第九个星期，妈妈发现你的脸蛋干燥及粗糙，而且开始出现红色及无色的小点。情况一天比一天严重，你的脸在你喝奶，哭闹时，脸上出现的红斑，惨不忍睹。妈妈开始更小心注意饮食，可是，情况不见得有起色。是妈妈上个星期吃的牛肉，还是菜肴和烧卖里的虾呢？你一直用手抓脸，常常把脸埋在妈妈的胸口摩擦，你应该是觉得痒吧！一查之下，这很可能是熱疹,奶疹或湿疹！唉...妈妈明天带你去看医生吧！

接下来，还有什么呢？妈妈能不紧张兮兮吗？