We Just Go

A friend passed away yesterday evening, 30^th December 2011, 5.30pm.  She died in a tragic car accident while travelling with six others to attend an engagement ceremony.  With her perished her father, brother in law and a neighbor. 

The news came as a shock to the church community where she served, St. Francis of Assisi Cheras.  She is known as a very good person; honest, humble, friendly, faithful and hardworking. 

She tied the knot on 29^th December 2010, lead a happy family life for merely a year.  This is such a tragedy and the closer we are attached to the person, the harder it is to accept.  I have had the privilege to be acquainted with her and her husband. Attended her birthday party at their home and served together in church.  I’m not that close to her but I do feel very sad to hear the news.  I pray for her loved ones that God guides them through this very difficult time. 

It is at this very moment that I feel life is so short and unpredictable.  Happiness lasts only as long as we make it.  The meaning of our lives rests on how others have been touched because of our actions and how things have changed because of our participation.  All this brings us joy and personal satisfaction.

Often I wished I had more; more time, more money and more friends, so that I can do more and be better, for myself and for my loved ones.  But life does not work that way.  Nothing is ever enough.  We are forever in the state of deficiency.  We just have to make the best of what life throws at us. 

Yes there are times when we seemed to be blessed with abundance.  When time is always on our side, money is no longer a problem and we are free from worries and burdens.  I have not encountered such a perfection but I hope when the time comes for me to be on top of the world, I may be reminded to take a moment to look down, and reach those who need help and those hanging around my pillar of success.   Chances are, some of them are still holding my pillar after all these years, supporting me and helping me make it through.

Be kind and compassionate.

Because where ever we are, how much we have and whatever we do, when the Lord calls, none of that matters anymore.   We just go.

Sneaky & Slithery

Thought I look into my sign, found this to be quite... me! 


I'm a fire snake!

Personality

Occupying the 6th position in the Chinese Zodiac, the Snake symbolizes such character traits as intelligence, gracefulness and materialism. When it comes to decision-making, Snakes are extremely analytical and as a result, they don’t jump into situations. They are effective at getting the things they want, even if it means they have to scheme and plot along the way.

Snakes are very materialistic creatures, preferring to surround themselves with the finest that life has to offer. This is especially evident in the home, where luxurious furnishings and surroundings help Snakes seek the peace they need in order to thrive.

Health

Snakes prefer living a life of calmness, preferring quietness over noise and a manageable workload rather than a schedule that’s overly-booked. Snakes become easily stressed when their lives aren’t peaceful or in order. Too much of this way of life can shorten a snake’s life!

Career

Snakes do work very hard, but they have a tendency to be job-hoppers as they become easily bored. Their somewhat laid-back attitude causes them to be mistakenly categorized as slackers, but nothing could be further from the truth! Snakes are very creative and extremely diligent. They’re excellent problem-solvers and thrive under tight deadlines. Good career choices for Snakes include: scientist, analyst, investigator, painter, potter, jeweler, astrologer, magician, dietician, and sociologist.

Relationships

Snakes are excellent seducers so they never have trouble attracting others. However, they’ll be the ones to decide when a relationship has potential and when it does not. Once they’ve chosen a partner, a Snake’s insecure side will begin to show through. Snakes guards their chosen partners much like a prized possessions, becoming jealous and even obsessive. Snakes prefer to keep their feelings to themselves. It’s important to never betray a Snake’s trust as a betrayed snake will make it a goal to get even some day!

Snakes and the 5 elements

Metal Snake – Years 1941 and 2001

Incredibly goal-oriented, Metal Snakes will stop at nothing to get that which they believe they deserve. Failure is not in their vocabularies. With their money, they’re continually acquiring more and more possessions – for themselves.

Water Snake – Years 1953 and 2013

Influential, motivated, insightful, and highly intellectual are words that best characterize Water Snakes. These Snakes work well with others and enjoy being recognized and rewarded. They’ll reveal feelings to those closest to them, but no one else.

Wood Snake – Years 1905 and 1965

Kind and genuine, these Snakes enjoy building a solid foundation of friends and family whom they love deeply and whose company they enjoy immensely. But even with all this support, Wood Snakes rarely seek the advice of others.

Fire Snake – Years 1917 and 1977

Fire Snakes are more extroverted, forever offering opinions and telling others what’s on their minds. Even so, others enjoy listening to Fire Snakes. They’re very persuasive and are especially good at convincing others that their ways are best.

Earth Snakes – Years 1929 and 1989

Earth Snakes always seem to be calm and content. They’re friendly and approachable and believe that they’ll reap great rewards by working hard and relying on common sense.

Compatibility

The Snake is compatible with a Rooster and an Ox and incompatible with a Pig and a Monkey.

Learn to fly again

I had dream about flying this morning.  It started weird but ended quite sweet.  It began with the urge to fly and the only device I had was something which looked like a stapler. I was supposed to put the two pieces together and then work it like a syringe, somewhere against my thigh (not into my thigh).  The idea was to push the syringe and I would begin to fly, somewhat like a broom stick or a magic carpet.  But nothing happened after pushing the syringe several times so I gave up.

I stood up and began running as fast as I could instead.  I picked up speed on the football field, running barefoot with the soft and comfortable grass underneath.  As I increased my speed, I flapped my arms and found that I could levitate a little; so I flapped some more.  Before I knew it I was in the air, cruising almost effortlessly above the fields, approaching the mountains with a faint view of the ocean.  It was such a beautiful sight.  I suddenly realized it was the same scene I played long time ago in 'Perfect World', one of the online role playing game.  Only difference is I had to run really fast to gain flight.

I had slight difficulty maneuvering between the ancient walls and buildings though.  At one point I almost crashed into the walls but lucky for me the draft saved the day. It was just a few minutes of flight because in an instant I was back on the ground. Although it didn't last long, I had the best time as I learned to fly again.

And then I woke up... late for work.  The alarm rang a few times and I snoozed a few times as well.  I guess it takes a flight dream to get me out of bed and fly to work.  The strong morning wind draft through my window made the dream all too realistic. Like.

Death comes like a thief, we do what we can

Are you ready to talk about death?

Chances are, you’re not. 

Heck, no one likes to think about death, let alone discuss it.  It’s a taboo subject in most societies. No one looks forward to death because of the emotional pain, psychological suffering and a host of inconveniences that comes thereafter.  It’s the same problem, looking at the death bed, or from it.

However, there are some cases when death comes bringing emotional relief, psychological remedy and a host of conveniences.  It could also be the same solution, looking at the death bed, or from it.

I’m sure some of us may have come across these thoughts, “He’s suffered enough,  please death, come swift and ease the pain” or “Please God, take me away, I’ve had enough” or “When is this tyrant going to die and rid us all of this misery”.

In Malaysia, we’ve seen facilities upgraded and roads resurfaced during campaigns for by elections triggered by the demise of MPs.  And let’s not forget the nagging urge to elect a better leader of the state because some people just won’t step down.  They take the vow “Till death do us part” literaly for everything they own.

So tell me, is death such a taboo subject after all?

Apparently many still think it is.  I’ve had two friends asking for help to complete a survey relating to death.  One is a catholic priest furthering his studies for a Masters Degree in Counseling with a project on ‘Getting to terms with death in the family’ and the other is a Buddhist activist with a PhD project titled ‘End of Life and a Good Death’.

Both of them are facing difficulty in getting the required number of participants in their survey.  Race and religion are some of the factors causing us to shy away from the discussion of death.  Some may be facing death and some may still be traumatized by deaths of their loved ones.  Still, some just don’t really think about it and therefore never gave it much thought. 

Perhaps if you’ve read this far, I could reach out and request for your assistance to give my friend just 5 minutes of your time to briefly answer a few questions.  If you are reluctant to click on any link, here are the questions you will face in the survey, following a brief introduction to the survey.  I’ve included some of my short answers, just for sharing.  Of course you may be elaborate and lengthy, it’s all up to you.

Begin Quote…

I am conducting a research survey on End of Life and a Good Death for my PhD project.

It's my PhD project which I have completed the pilot study and now going into full research.

The idea started as a feedback of my previous public lectures and the intention is to create awareness of this important topic since it's a taboo in so many societies. Understanding the meaning of death alone can plant the seed for accepting and thus preparing death.

The results of the research will provide generalizable knowledge of the attitudes and experiences of our community on a good death and we could fill the gaps of the knowledge through public education, talks and other supports.

We would be grateful if you took a few minutes to fill in this anonymous research on End of Life Care and a Good Death. With your voluntary participation to provide honest feedback to us, the research content can only get better and benefit more people in the future. Please feel free to ignore survey questions that you are not comfortable answering.

Thank You.

1. Gender

2. May I know your Age, Race, Religion, Nationality and Profession?

3. Have you thought of the death of your loved ones?

4. If yes, who have you thought about and what have you thought about?

My answer: Parents suffering illness and watching them slowly dying.

5. Have you thought of your own death?

My answer : Yes.

6. If yes, what have you thought about?

My answer : Sudden death, leaving loved ones in pain, unfinished business.

7. What is a good death to you?

My Answer: Knowing my time, having enough time to settle things well and say goodbye to my loved ones.

8. How can you achieve this good death?

My answer: Impossible to be certain, but plan to live a fulfilling life, take care of my health, mental and physical, be honest and sincere (even if it hurts), love and be loved. Above all of that, have faith in God and keep it.

Thank you for coming and completing this survey. Please email me if you have further queries at everygooddeath@gmail.com For an independent opinion regarding the research and the rights of research participants, you may contact a staff member of the National University of Singapore Institutional Review Board (Attn: Ms Tan Hui Cheng, at telephone 65- 6516 7359 or email at irb@nus.edu.sg)

With Gratitude,

Robin Chan Tuck Wai

Powered by SurveyMonkey

Create your own free online survey now!

End Quote.

Here’s the facebook invitation

“We are conducting an online research survey on End of Life and a Good Death and need your help. It was my PhD project which I have completed the pilot study and now going into full research. 
Pls Click here to take 5 mins survey:
http://www.surveymonkey.com/s/687QMT3

The FB event link is here.
https://www.facebook.com/events/222832181110793/
Thank you for your help and pls invite your friends by sharing this msg.

You may notice the online survey is powered by SurveyMonkey.  I just had to put a lighter note to this serious matter by telling my friend “Haha, it’s powered by surveymonkey. As if the survey is conducted by a monkey. No offense”

Good thing he wasn’t offended.

Such a good spirit.  Do lend him a hand ya. It is a very brief survey after all.

The FB event link is here.https://www.facebook.com/events/222832181110793/