looked through old photos in a bid to kick-start my attempt at scrapbooking.
that, in addition to my growing list of things to bring to the US, has somehow made my impending departure more real.
getting the visa and air ticket didn't really do it somehow.

about 3 more weeks.
am i ready?
no.
emotionally and practically.
looking through past photos has made me realise how little time i've spent in s'pore the past few years.
and thats all going to happen again.
it fills me with a sense of dread. i don't want to say goodbye to my family.

many people tell me 'congrats! i saw your face on the newspaper (along with 47 others'). so lucky going overseas again'
yes. but at a price.
the unsettling feeling of not really belonging in any one place for an extended period of time.
the sadness that comes with saying goodbye.
the pain of missing loved ones.
the loneliness.


3 weeks.
not enough.
i think i've wasted the past month not really accomplishing anything at all.
its time to be organised, and to spend time with people i'll miss. not concerned about the food, really. maybe just eat more pineapple tarts and bak kwa.