i am sad.
i don't know how to choose.
i know i should be grateful for having 4 offers so far, but i really don't know which university to choose.

it was so easy when choosing the undergrad sch.
just chose the best school and then that was it. made easier by the nus rejection.

but now there are so many other factors to consider, not just how good the school, or even the department is.
i have to consider what my priorities are as well.
which school/lab will give me the best training?
which school will enable me to finish the fastest and return to be with my family?
which school has the best standing in the academic world?
which school has the most singaporeans so that i won't be all alone?
which school has the strongest graduate christian community?
which school is in the city/town/country i am happiest in?
which school is the bf going to?

and there is no one school that is the best for all those criteria.
and everyday the criteria that is most important to me changes.
it is a struggle.

i know i should be happy.
but i'm not.
i'm grateful for the offers.
but there is this turmoil inside.

someone said that its time for me to do some soul searching and figure out what i want.
true.
i feel like procrastinating and putting off this thinking until after i've had my stanford interview and the outcome of that interview.

i don't know.

currently the loneliness factor is right up there on list of priorities.
i love cambrige and amazing s'porean community there, with the super strong CF.
i know i cannot hope to recreate that anywhere else.
but the thought of being all alone in a foreign land for 5 years scares me.
is a phd from a top notch school worth it?