to a dear friend:

i'll miss seeing u around- in (or crashing) official events, at nights out and lunches.
it's been great having u around, and the news really shocked us. or me, at least.
thank you for lending a listening ear, dishing out advice and helping me when i needed it.
its been great fun hanging out with you.
perhaps future opportunities will be few and far between.
but be sure to keep in touch ya.
there is no excuse not to, and u know it.

take care veek.
*big hug*

i'm tired.
working is tiring.
but its fun too.
i've been learning abt western blots since... a long time ago and now at last i get to carry it out. all my questions about how the tranfer occurs etc etc are finally answered.
i'm glad i learnt the theory before the practical cos now everything makes much sense.
and it pleases me cos i understand why i do what i do.
learning all the theory and protocol without actually carrying out the expt annoyed me cos i had so many questions as to why and how certain procedures are carried out.
now i have a fantastic supervisior who can answer all my questions.
yay.

but that also means that its rather draining. cos i need to keep thinking hard and concentrating and absorbing info.
and its stressful sometimes cos i don't want to contaminate/mix up stuff.

in the past i used to think that 500ul is a very small volume.
now i think 5 ul is quite large.
the lowest vol i've used is 0.5 ul. practically nothing la.

did transfection and the volumes i used ranged from 1-4 ul.
its like adding a tiny drop of liquid to another tiny drop of liquid.
it took some getting used too.

in the lab i get to hear interesting conversations such as

A: do you have any ATP to spare?
B: yup i have extra- you can have some of mine.

A: do you have extra cells?
B: yup you can have some of my kidney cells.

me: i don't like going to the dark room cos i can't see anything!
someone: oh u can go to the another level- they have a very bright dark room there.





and so i think research is really quite interesting.
its annoying sometimes when the results are wonky cos of a wrong step that was done 2 days ago.
that means that 3 days worth of work goes down the drain. (or bin)
but when there are actually results, it really feels good.
and interpreting the results and designing more experiment to investigate further feels better.
i feel happy when i'm conducting an expt that i fully understand.
and looking at the data and going through ideas in my head makes me happy too.


i don't understand why people ask me: "are u sure you want to do research next time?"
and give me that look of great disbelief. (ie youaremad)
why don't they say that to like future civil servants or engineers.

i actually do enjoy research.
yes, its possible cos a lot of people i know do as well.
i like the intellectual stimulation i get from it.
and i can't imagine having a job that requires me to sit at a desk all day.
i think i'll go mad.
for research i work at a the bench, culture room, warm room, cold room, dark room etc so there is a constant change in environment.
and i get to walk around, so thats good.

so lets get that out of the way once and for all.
i do enjoy research, even though i complain about being tired.
i like the fact that watever i'm studying in sch now will be applicable to wat i'll do in future. at least some of it.
i'm sick of learning about irrelevant things.
so yes, i can see myself doing research in the long run.
if thats God's will for me, that is.




was talking to a fren in biopolis.
we started to niao each other.
and that friend wanted to hit me.
then i said : i'm this close to hitting u too. *hold up my thumb and finger side by side* like 1nm way from hitting u.
my fren replied: its ok. thats like 1000 pm. still quite far wat.

we are mad scientists.
too bad.

had a lunch meeting today with prof kastan organised by a.* for all scholars.
prof kastan is the guy who discovered the DNA damage-p53-ATM-cell cycle signalling pathway.
*whoa*
which is the reason why i went for the lunch meeting.
a bit star-struck.
the first paper he published on this topic is "the most highly cited publication in cancer research" in the past 2 decades. i think.
and he reminded us of this fact like 5 times throughout the whole session.
that said, he is a nice guy- gave us lots of advice like "u must be patient", "read widely" and "don't be discouraged if your paper gets rejected by Cell" (which was wat happened to his landmark paper)

his wife was there too.
she informed us that we must "remember to have a social life" because "that was how he met me (her)"
she also told us that he gave her her engagement ring in the tissue culture room.
...

been really busy lately.
so many things to do.
for one there is work.

work is now a lot more fun cos i have learnt lots of new techniques.
but it is also stressful cos we are doing tissue culture and i'm so afraid i'll contaminate the cells when i'm handling them.
boo.

i've been out every night, at xen or meeting up with ppl.
time just flies.
watched pirates of the caribbean on tues with some cam ppl- johnny deep is incredibly hot. whoo.
went for my uncle's bday party today.
interesting event. got to meet the owner of nydc and charles of charles & keith.
felt really out of place there so i just stuck with my cousins, all of whom are still in pri sch.
which led adam khoo to ask me "u are in secondary....?" i was like "i'm in university now"
wattheheck.

there was the a.* award ceremony today for the new batch of ppl.
got so meet a lot of frens :)
ppl from the year before me, after me, returning scholars, my student etc etc.
fun fun :)

been meeting up with lots of friends lately.
yippee.

xiaoen and enlin!

xinyi!

and, thanks to oiying's efforts, we had a 7A class gathering last night at a turkish resturant. good food, good company.
a record number of 22 people turned up! wowee.
and there is only one group photo, which isn't in my camera :(
after dinner we went to chill out at Acid Bar.

edwin, me, jizheng, lihao, likoon, zhirong.

me and oiying!

me and paulme, ying, kelvin, albert, likoon

comment of the day by jizheng: "after a year away your fashion sense hasn't changed"
me: "excuse me my top is from paris loh"
jz: "it looks like its from bugis"

went back to hc on friday to promote my scholarship.
and, as a result, my university as well.
the most common question i've been getting recently is
"whats it like studying in the uk?"

how do i answer that question.
its like "how's ns" or "how's nus"

the answer is "lidat loh"

so i usually say "its alright"
and then i feel obliged to elaborate.
i feel like saying "read my blog" but cannot la. so rude.
so i will talk about punting.
seems like the most cambridgey thing to talk about.

i have to work harder on answering that question.
cos i really don't know how to describe wat its like.
its hectic i guess. time zooms by. but i guess its the same in any country.
ah yes. i've got more independence overseas. it comes at a price- i've got to do everything on my own.
i get more freedom, but i feel lonely sometimes cos i go home to a room not a home.

i'm just glad to be back.

work has become more interesting lately.
maybe cos now i'm actually applying wat i learnt.
i had some hands-on experience today.
made lots of silly little mistakes, such as adding some reagents too early. fortunately all i had to do to remedy it was to prepare a new mixture. so that was cool.
so it was fun la.
but a bit stressful.
cos i didn't want to screw up my supervisor's work.
when i start answering my "one question" (which i have re-discovered) i can screw up cos that just means that i will have to spend time repeating the expt. which is fine, cos i'll pay for my mistake. i don't want to mess up my supervisors results :s

great revalation today:
brenda, who is currently working in my lab, was in my primary school for about 2 years, and we were in the same class in p2!!
we can't remember each other, but we can remember our form teacher and some classmates.
incredible man.
my long lost classmate! :)

yesterday i learnt that my supervisor and a post doc in the lab (brenda's supervisor) are currently learning salsa!
and some other dances.
and they actually went to xenbar over a year ago.
like wat the heck man
*cue to sing its a small world after all*
they are learning at another dance school now.
i'm like so curious la. i really want to see them dance hehe :)


and another exciting thing happened today.
which made me conclude:
May Phang is a naughty girl.
i went to xen after work today and who did i see but May Phang there learning salsa- without telling me. even though we met on monday.
indeed- she conveniently forgot to tell me that she was going to xenbar.
*tsk tsk*
young ppl nowadays ah.
goodness.
*shakes head sadly*

first day of work today.
incredibly boring day with 2 highlights.

had to settle some admin stuff in the morning but i had to wait almost an hour to see the HR person. boo.

then i met the head of the lab, this super tall caucasian man who, upon hearing who i was from the HR person, declared " another a. * scholar! we don't need another one of those here! u can go back"
and then, upon seeing my lovely sweater with a small cambridge crest embroidered on it, asked "are u really from cambridge or did u borrow someone's sweater?"
but he is a cool guy despite all that niaoing.
he told me "instead of letting you do little bits of work here and there, you will spend your time here answering one question"

and of course we all wonder wat that question is.
he didn't tell me.
my lab supervisor did.
after telling me a whole long story about the tyrosine kinase signalling pathway and overloading my poor brain.
lots of bits of info which i couldn't really string together, but i tried to remember them all.
didn't really succeed, so when she declared ".... and that is what u will be working on" i couldn't remember wat she said before that.
but i'm sure i will discover it again in due time.

the day was boring cos i spent most of my time a) waiting or b) watching my supervisor do her expt.
a) was inevitable
b) was necessary in order for me to learn what to do.
we had a lab safety briefing which lasted 2 hours and was incredibly boring. zzz


highlights were:
1) when i could load the agarose gel. 4 wells. yay. i actually got to touch the pipette. that woke me up a bit. sad right.
2) lunch with fellow scholars. got to see the my friends whom i haven't seen for so long. yay! :)



actually yes, i do see myself pursuing research as a future career.
and no, i don't find it boring.
its boring when i have to just sit there and watch someone else pipette stuff, but its fun when i get to do the work myself.
so i'm looking forward to that.

went to MOS last night.
at last.
after reading about it on so many ppl's blogs and hearing about it from friends.
it was a good night out.
i'm happy :)

as i said before, i think that a good night out at a regular club is determined by the company and the music- 70% company and 30% music.
there was good music and fantastic company last night, so it was fun.
first good experience in a regular club in a long long long time.
yay.

photos of my trip to Austria in June.

Salzburg
home of the Sound of music.
we visited many of the sites where the musical was filmed.



Gazebo

tunnel where they sang "Do Re Mi"

went to this restuarant on a hill with a fantastic view of Salzburg. very ex, but the food was really good :)

view from the resturant.

Mozart museum.

St. Gilgen lake and Alps

we took a train to visit St. Gilgen lake.

then we climed up the Alps to see ice caves in the mountain.

entrance to ice caves.

and, of course, the Jump.

Cycling and Graz

we to a train to this lake and cycled by the lake. quite fun!

we then took a train to Graz.

Vienna

we went to this famous Hotel Sacher to try their chocolate cake- the Sacher Torte. fantastic stuff :)

then at night we went to watch an opera composed my Mozart. the theatre had no air con, so everyone was fanning themselves with pieces of paper. was an interesting sight. the opera was in german so i didn't understand a thing. so i resorted to guessing. eg there were 3 ladies dressed in black with huge feathers on their heads. i decided that they were either witches or ravens. during the interval i read the english synopsis and discovered that they were the "escorts of the Lady of the Night". right.

was an overall interesting experience. they all sang so so well!

visited the Shronbrunn palace the next day.

apple strudel making demonstration in the palace. we got a free sample!


maze in the gardens.

since we were in Vienna we had to go to the best cafe there (according to Lonely Planet and Insight guide books)- Cafe Damel. thats me with a Baileys ice coffee. expensive but worth every cent!


landmark cathedral with a strange mosiac roof.

the Underground in Vienna. dangerous place.

Salzburg

we went back to salzburg and flew back to england from there.

traditional austrian dish. Golash or sth like that. beef stew.

the end!

met up with old friends today.

met felix for lunch.
felix as in my primary sch classmate who left s'pore for the US 10 years ago.
so i haven't seen him in a decade.
but thanks to the wonders of facebook i finally got in touch with him again and we finally met up.
he looks the same la.
haha.

then i met zhuang for dinner.
the Bad Boy who didn't tell me when he visited cam and who didn't come and see me when i visited oxford.
*glares*
but i got a dinner treat.
so all is well :)


went to xen at night instead of zouk.
only made it in time for the social.
was alright.
danced with jy again after 9 months.
his lead is still good.
so i dunno why he thinks he can't dance anymore.
i think he can.

met someone at xen.
forgot his name.
hc biomed senior who trained us wayy back in j2.
now a 4th year nus medic.
was incredibly shocked to see him at xen la.
and he was shocked too cos he thought i was in the uk.
didn't know he knew salsa!
was a great surprise.
had one dance with him.
not bad.

met up with old friends today.

met felix for lunch.
felix as in my primary sch classmate who left s'pore for the US 10 years ago.
so i haven't seen him in a decade.
but thanks to the wonders of facebook i finally got in touch with him again and we finally met up.
he looks the same la.
haha.

then i met zhuang for dinner.
the Bad Boy who didn't tell me when he visited cam and who didn't come and see me when i visited oxford.
*glares*
but i got a dinner treat.
so all is well :)


went to xen at night instead of zouk.
only made it in time for the social.
was alright.
danced with jy again after 9 months.
his lead is still good.
so i dunno why he thinks he can't dance anymore.
i think he can.

met someone at xen.
forgot his name.
hc biomed senior who trained us wayy back in j2.
now a 4th year nus medic.
was incredibly shocked to see him at xen la.
and he was shocked too cos he thought i was in the uk.
didn't know he knew salsa!
was a great surprise.
had one dance with him.
not bad.

i've been telling everyone the wrong thing.
someone: how long have u been gone for?
me: 8 months.

thats not true!
its actually 9 months.
*gasp*
scary

today i ate crabs again for the first time in 9 months.
and kangkong and kai lan.
yay :)
and peanut soup.

yes i'm fatter now than i was before i left for the uk.
too bad.


and today, after an absence of more than 9 months, i returned back to xenbar.
the first person i saw was emma.
she is still the same- smiley, loving and friendly.
i attended a shines class, followed by a basic reuda class.
the shines class included this move that i couldn't get before i left 9 months ago.
now i still can't really do it properly.
bleh.

and then there was social, which was fun cos i got to dance with everyone again.
and the variations were unpredictable, so it was challenging.
but there was not enough time for social, i felt.
i guess i'm too used to cam where we socialed all night.
justin has decided that i should do a choreographed piece with someone.
its not that important to me, what "level" i am at.
what's important is that i improve before i go back to the uk.
or else my 3 months here would have been wasted.

much has changed since i left.
i'm was part of "the first batch" of students of which there were primarily 3 couples (ok there were more, but my memory fails me)
at the end of last year, the 6 of us separated.
6 ppl in 4 different continents.
only 2 were left in s'pore.
needless to say that "first batch" is now history.
a "second batch" is being trained now.
they seem to form the bulk of the classes that i attended, and i didn't know anyone at all. but they were friendly so i got to know most of them.

the sense of belonging i felt before i left is gone.
i feel like a stranger there.
there are familiar faces, of course, and i'm so glad to see all of them again. and i got to dance with all the guys whose names i know so that was good.



one of the most poignant lessons i learnt in cam was: respect is earned, not given.
i learnt that during supervisions
i learnt that during team practice
i learnt that on the dance floor in club salsa

i was right at the bottom when i arrived in cam, my ego crushed to smithereens.
supervision mate: "i topped Wales in Chemisty for my A levels"
on the dance floor: "that was such a simple move! why couldn't you follow it?"
(i never danced with that guy ever again.)

and somehow, with hard work and by God's grace, i have moved up.
nowhere near the top at all, but no longer at the bottom.
after 9 months, my supervision mates now know that I Not Stupid.
the best dancers in club salsa ask me to dance with them.



and now i'm back in s'pore.
i foresee the same thing happening again when i start work and when i dance.
maybe not as strongly as in the uk, but to some extent nonetheless.
which might not be that bad a thing, really, cos it forces me to improve.
and that, ultimately, is my aim for these 3 months.
i would like to leave s'pore with improved lab techniques, better salsa skills and, most importantly, a deeper relationship with God.

we'll see how it goes.