mel + aud + sanmei + wendy:
thanks for coming! i had a great time too :) i'm gonna miss all of u so much :( must must meet up again when i come back! :)

han: i spent it packing. but i spent it with my family. i'm happy.

enz: yup u take care too.. thanks for the sweet, albeit smudged, note :) yes i'll email u :)

i've been too busy to blog.
but i must.
i want to remember these few days forever.

monday.
mad rush at the shops spending $400 plus in one afternoon.
then went to xenbar.
had my last meal at food street- oyster omlette and peanut soup before returning to xen.
melvin came down just to say goodbye.
that was really sweet. thanks :)
videoed our latest performance piece- could have been much better, but i guess we did all we could.
walked to the bus stop from xen.
regreted not video taping the familiar busy scene of chinatown from the bus stop to xen.
at the bus stop jy said "did u realise that was our last dance?"
i was momentarily stunned.
in the flurry of activites i didn't realise it at all.
but it was.
the second dance we videoed was indeed our last dance.
and that thought saddened me very much indeed.
i hope we'll get to dance again.
i really do.
it's not as if i won't be coming back right?


tuesday.
when there's a will there's a way.
this saying has been proven true today.
and last night, really.
at 10 pm enlin smsed me to arrange a meeting tmr.
the 4 of us smsed each other here and there.
at 1 am the details were still sketchy.
at 10 am today we finally finalised the details of our lunch together and met at holland v.
i really thought it would be impossible for us to meet.
enlin had sch, xinyi had to prepare for exams, xiaoen and i had to pack.
but in the end we still squeezed out a pocket of time to meet, and i guess thats only because we treasure each other so much.
i had a great time at crystal jade, talking and laughing.
brings back memories of the old church camps when the 4 of us would stay up late to talk.
i hope we'll do this again when the two of us come back.
i love u all very very much :)


went home to pack.
realised how screwed i was.
and still am.
oh no oh no.
i don't have enough luggage space!!
gonna dhl stuff over liao.
after i discovered that 3 textbooks= 8.1 kg
goodness.
and i haven't finished packing!!
and i haven't done my homework!!!
ahhhh
stressssssssssed

yesterday was a day of farewells.

had the church farewell in the morning.
liang ying made us breakfast so our whole cg had breakfast together.
so nice :) thanks!
then we had interaction (games) with everyone, followed by a photo presentation compiled by ai ping (so sweet!) of xiaoen and i during the past 2 year's alpha camp.
brought back many many pleasant memories... i wanna go for church camp!
i miss sleeping on a matress in a class room with all my good friend beside me.
i miss writing little angel-and-mortal letters.
i miss waking up early early and seeing everyone trudging towards the breakfast table for group QT.
i miss going out on an outing in the middle of camp with everyone.
i miss the excitement that the days and hours leading up to alpha camp bring.
i miss the thrill of looking forward to Christmas once alpha camp ends, cos everyone feels so united after camp and go carolling together.
sad~
first alpha camp i'll be missing in 9 years!
that's a long time.

then we went for lishi (youth service).
as we had the worship session, it suddenly occured to me that that would be the last time i'll be singing those familiar songs in a familiar place.
and the last time i'll be singing songs of worship beside xinyi, close enough to hear her sing.
it made me so sad that i teared.
cos i told myself that i must not cry.
then we had the sermon.
then sharon walked up on stage with 2 boxes and announced that they were for the two departing sisters-in-Christ.
the Rev prayed for us together with the whole congregation.
then i went back to my seat.
after the benediction, i realised that service had really ended.
the next time i'll go to church would be the coming sunday, and i'll be in a completely different church.
and i won't be seeing everyone for so long.
all the brothers and sisters- in Christ who have been such a big part of my life.
that thought made me so sad.
i cried.
i couldn't help it.
xinyi, who was beside me cried too.
i was so so sad when i hugged her.
i didn't want to let go.
9 months is such a long time!
to be separated from someone i've known practically all my life.
then xiaoen came and saw us crying so she cried too. (sorry!)

it's really ok if u don't come and see us off on wed...
i know u don't like such sad scenes.
although i would really like to see u one last time, i don't want to say goodbye again.
yesterday was sad enough..



in the evening i had my farewell party with 4A3.
it was supposed to start at 530 pm but the first person arived at 620 pm.
haiz.

i had so much fun!
dinner lasted from 645 pm to about... 9 plus
we ate a main course followed by dessert.
took about 3 hours, but time just flew by.
we talked and we ate and we talked and we ate.
we discussed scandals, compared unis, exchanged info about where everyone else in our class was.
we teased and we threatened, interrogated and encouraged each other.
there was just this lively conversation going on at the table.
very amusing indeed.

then we took a grand total of 1 group photo (albeit using 7 cameras), before settling down on the sofas to resume our conversation.

we talked about nus med sch.
we talked about tsing hua uni.
we talked about business sch.
we talked about the future of med and pharm in s'pore.
we talked about engineers in business.
we talked about politics.
we talked about the knee jerk reflex (that took some time cos we all had a go)
we talked about religion.
we talked about how different uni is from mg.
and most of all we realised how much we missed the company of mgs girls.
we really talked about anything and everything.
it's been so long since i really clicked with a bunch of people.
just felt so comfortable exchanging ideas and sharing opinions with people who think and speak the way i do.
its not the accent- we don't have one.
its just the way we express ourselves i guess.
something that i can't quite put my finger on, yet is so predominant in mg girls.
we all understood each other in this special way.

i appreciate the company of mg girls.
i think the 4 years in mg really influenced and shaped me.
interacting with the mg girls reminded me of values and habits that were second nature to us, but which were lost when i left mg for so long.
values and habits that are so important.

we finally stopped discussing stuff at 1230 am when we realised that it was really quite late.
thank you girls, i had a fantastic time.

you can take a girl out of mg, but you can't take mg out of her.




group photo!

popped by xiaoen's blog and saw her tag box.
the 4 of us tagged in succession.

enlin: hola woman! (:meet up before u fly away into England's arms eh
xiaoen: enlin sure! when when? we really should have a 4 of us gathering...that day we finally ate thai food together! hehe
agnez: i agree!! when when
simz*: when??when?stil got a few days more..if not got to wait till u girls are back..

when?!!
seems like the only time we -all- meet is online.. in each others' tag boxes.
haiz.
we are all busy women.
but its ok.
i love u all very much!
it would be lovely if we could meet.
if we can't... 9 months isn't that long- time flies!
i hope.

amanda and i had our combined farewell party together at my house today.
told them 630 pm.
the first person arrived at 650 pm.
haiz.
almost the whole class came.
almost lah.
opened a bottle of absolut vanilla but only used half of it.
goes well with cranberry i think.
had ethanol-free punch, which was more favoured.
oiying, paul and kelvin bought a v nice tiramisu cake.. yay~
was fun cutting the cake with paul giving moral support.
there didn't seem to be enough slices to go around although the number of slices i wanted to cut tallied with the number of ppl he counted.
finally we discovered that since ttp came late we forgot to count him.

a bit sad to be seeing almost everyone for the last time.
haiz.
when they walked out of the front door it sure seemed as if they were walking out of my life.
at least for the next many many months.

reminds me of that chinese poem thing.
ren you bei huan li he
yue you yin qin yuan que
ci shi gu nan quan
qian li gong chang juan

the hanyu pinyin looks off.
but well.

i guess tian xia wu bu san zhi yan xi.

life goes on i guess.
more so after uni, when everyone's lives are so different.
we'll see lawyers, business women and pharmacists.
engineers, doctors and accountants.
in jc and before, we were pretty much the same.
studying the same subjects in school, concerning ourselves with similar things.
now we're so different.
studying different subjects, with vastly different career paths ahead.
and soon after marriage will come into the picture.
i think we are growing up pretty quickly.
its amazing, yet scary.
it will be interesting to see how everyone turns out in the end.
quite exciting really.
do look forward to seeing everyone again in 9 months.
which, according to dear kelvin, is just enough to make a baby.
...
even i didn't think of that loh.
goodness.

went shopping w my mum today.
bought my sch bag!
and reserved a pair of heels from nine west.
yay~
so now i only have my sch shoes left.
and long formal black trousers.
and white long-sleeved shirt.

met an old fren for dinner.
was interesting catching up.
bittersweet actually.
then again aren't all memories like that.
didn't want to leave-
its hard to say goodbye, even though we aren't that close now.

went to xen.
placed a glass of water on a shaky table and it fell off.
*piang!*
ouch.
melvin picked up the glass pieces with his bare hands while i went to get serviettes!
and as a result he cut his hand.
felt so bad.
so so sorry :(

practiced the piece again.
and the part with the sliding on the butt.
that was bad.
i wore a skirt and shorts underneath.
yet i immerged with splinters stuck to my butt!
super powerful splinters loh...
penetrate so many layers of cloth.
it hurt!
prickly butt.
and my shorts are ruined!
full of holes now.
the skirt escaped most of the splinters though.
fortunately i had long pants with me so i could still dance.

then finally justin appeared with yq.
so we had to do work.
practiced and practiced.
and realised that the jitterbugs ppl had come to xen to social.
so interesting.
so it was quite crowded.
but we couldn't social cos we had to practice.
practice ended at 12 plus.

we arrived at union at 1 plus.
danced with quite a few ppl.
spotted this guy i knew from xen so i asked him to dance with me.
he agreed, then subseqeuently a few other guys asked me to dance.
they were all quite good, so it wasn't too difficult following them.
still think my following skills need to be improved though.
and my styling is jia lat.
sad~
hmm.
so far only -one- guy has refused to dance with me when i asked him.
mwahaha.
u know who u are.

my feet are aching.
ahhhh
been in heels since 12 noon.
till 3 am!
poor feet.

cleared out 2 drawers today.
chanced upon many cards and letters i've received over the years.
most have been kept in boxes or files- these are the more recent ones.
or letters that i keep reading and re-reading again.

read a note from a pri sch friend when we were pri 6.
a post card from the same friend when we entered mg together.
haven't heard from her since we went to jc.

fast forward to jc.
encourageing, lovely notes from nette and ying.
heartfelt 18th birthday wishes from close frens in hc or mg.
Christmas greetings.
and most of all, angel-mortal letters.

read the first postcard from my angel, albert.
how his humour was so evident even then.
read the last letter from my mortal, kelvin.
written a few days before the release of the O level results.
we were so nervous then weren't we.
now we've made it past that.. and past the As.
seems so far away now.
but the every letter, note or postcard still evokes strong emotions.

read other angel-mortal letters.
some happy, others sad.
some touching.
some painful.
i can feel the pain i felt then.

but why does it still hurt?

it has occured to me that i have no school bag and no school shoes!
!
and they both have to be waterproof cos of the fantastic weather at cam.
it is always raining.
i have a bag in mind.
but no shoes.
all the shoes i've seen so far are either ugly or not waterproof.
sad~

received a letter from london today.
discovered that i have a British college "aunt" in addition to a Thai one.
how nice :)

today started off well and ended badly.

altered all my dresses today to make them fit better.
thanks mummy!
now i'm prepared to be a good housewife.
i can cook (i cooked lunch!) and i can sew.
yay.

then i met my grandma for dinner.
just the two of us!
at a restaurant in chinatown.
ate sea cucumber :)
nice!
all the time she was like "chi duo yi dian..."
i know thats her way of showing me she cared.
i was v touched.
love my grandma v v much.

then i went to xenbar.
today was my worst experience at xenbar.
ever.
we were supposed to practice for my last performace at xen on monday.
but
1. justin wasn't there cos he was overseas so we didn't have his opinion and guidance.
2. we were angry with each other.

for the first time in my life i really didn't want to dance with you.
i wasn't in the mood at all after seeing how cold u were.
and then gradually i didn't want to dance at all.
i started off wanting to have a fruitful dance prac but to no avail.
so today was, simply put, a waste of time.
the only highlight of today's xen experience was the dance with firdaus, albeit with slow and uninspiring music.

i felt misunderstood.
and indignant.
and i felt that the anger directed at me was uncalled for.
and yet u told me via sms that u wanted me to apologise. so i did.
most of all i felt tired.
sick and tired of all this sh*t.
i have been tired of it since a long time ago, but i decided to "start again" and "give another chance" because "there are only 2 weeks left!" or "there is only 1 month left!"
well, newsflash.
there are only 7 blardy days left.
i would really like to leave xen with a last great performance.
whether or not it is possible is up to you.
there are undoubtedly many time constraints, but we will just have to make to with what we have and stop complaining and being pessimistic about it because, honestly, there is nothing i can do about it.
"look at us now.. do u honestly think we can perform on monday?"
if you don't want to, so be it.
i can leave xen with or without a final performance although i really don't want to disappoint justin and i would love to dance.

and since there are only seven days left, i would like to spend it with people who matter.
with people who can make me smile.
with people who can make me cry, because i love them so much and don't want to part.
and that's a lot of people cos i many many fantastic friends and family members.

i want to bring my brothers out for ice-cream.
i want to drive them home from school.
i want to play basketball with them.
i don't know when i can do that.
but somehow i will.

i do not intend to spend time with people who piss me off.

i know i'll experience many emotions these seven days. but i do not want to feel angry anymore after today.
anything but anger.
so i will ignore anything or anyone who shows the slightest inclination towards making me angry.
because why feel angry when i can feel happy.

the end.

someone asked me when my hols were.
i decided that its time to check.
so here it is: 3 dec 05- 16 jan 06.

was looking at my schedule for the year 2005-2006.
michaelmas term: 4 oct- 2 dec 05
lent term: 17 jan-17 march 06
easter term: 25 april-16 jun 06
and sch starts again 3 oct 06

realised that my schedule is obscene.
i holiday more than i study.
and i have to squash an hons degree into 3 years.
just like every other person in my uni.
but still.
seems like i will be spending v little time in sch.
and there are lotsa things to do!
so many things to do and so little time.

just like now.
many things i want to do.
many things i need to do.
argh.

today is a momentous day.
i drove the car -alone-!!
to my brother's school, then to bt panj plaza.

then drove my mum from home to woodlands (expressway!).
then from woodlands to jurong to eat.
went for lunch with my parents at Thai Village restaurant.
nice food.
v salty though.
more chinese than thai.

then i went back to bpp with my mum.
bought $40 worth of pens from Popular.
that's like GBP13 or so.
whee~

today was a fun day.

went to The Line for lunch with mummy and grandma!
ate lotsa nice food.
think i'm much heavier now.
there was the chocolate fountain!
i dipped strawberries in it.
so fun :)



then we went to chinatown!
bought a cheongsam
yay~
maybe i'll wear it for matric for the lack of other things to wear haha.
need a pair of black dress pants.

then i went to cut my hair.
its S$30 in s'pore and GBP30 there, so i'm making the most of it now.
now my hair is so short.
sad.
but i won't be cutting it over there so i should let it start off shorter and grow out.
the bad thing abt having shorter hair is that its less fun doing the head flicks now.. my hair doesn't fly anymore!

so that leads us to dancing.
went to xen today, and worked on the dance.
almost done now.
the ending is a bit shaky cos we have no idea how to get into the desired position.
and justin wasn't there today, so we couldn't consult him.
video taped outselves dancing.
realised how terrible my flip was.
and still is.
need to work on that.
but in the process i succeeded in whacking jy's head with my leg.
i'm sorry!!

i received a present from jy today!thanks :)
its a nice little cup of my fav chin chow.
the one that is sold in the hc canteen and that all the relief teachers are addicted to.
it's 70 cents for a teeny weeny cup, so we don't really buy it that often though its really nice.
i found it in a pack of 6 in ntuc!
it's still 70 cents a cup.
i'm going to get a pack and then drink one a day when there are 6 days left.
or maybe i'll get 2 packs.
then i can have 2 a day.
it isn't that ex really.
when you think in pounds.
its abt 25p a cup.
that's not too bad :)

today is a tiring day.

danced from 5-730 but i was v v tired.
we usually dance from 7-10 plus and i'm not as tired!
i think i'm getting old.

after dance,
i ate wan tan mee! and peanut soup!
yay~
the eat-only-local-food plan is getting on swimmingly.

went home and discovered that my neighbours had hung up a row of pretty paper lanterns in their garden.
and my brothers were playing with sparklers and burning lanterns.
so i decided to play with sparklers too! :)


incomplete star


complete star!


a for agnes!


about this time last year lw smsed me "hope u carried a lantern and walked around your neighbourhood"
i told him he was nuts.
but this year i lit a lantern and walked around the garden.

i dug out a pink lantern from the bottom of a drawer.
a relic from sec 3 when i bought a set of paper lanterns in anticipation of a trip to australia for an exchange programme.
thought it would be nice to show them something as quiant and pretty as a paper lantern.
however.
a certain osama decided to strike.
and the trip was cancelled.
bah.
anw.
so i sat on the floor beside the mini-bonfire my brothers created, partially melted a candle to secure it to the lantern then lit it.
then i pulled the flattened lantern on both sides to open it.
it was so fun opening the lantern with the candle inside cos it was really really pretty :)
thereafter my mum commented that i looked like a little girl playing with the lantern- with an unmistakable hint of wistfulness in her voice.
then i felt sad.
i didn't want to leave my mummy for so long :(
i still don't.




pretty pink lantern!

today was a nice day.

practiced singing for tmr's service before going for yf- so fun to see so many ppl there. enjoyed bonding and playing the simple yet fun games.
it's a pity i had to leave at 620.
cos i had to rush off to meet the MAD ppl at bt timah market.
ate nice food there- sting ray, oyster omlette and carrot cake.
yay~
and the guys kept talking abt NS. then after 5 mins one guy will say "aiyah don't talk abt NS lah"
then we'll talk about sth else.
then 3 mins later its back to NS.
bah.

but i had a good time.
really enjoy talking to them.
they are good company, and i will miss them very much.
MAD was a major part of the hc experience for me and they were a big part of MAD so that makes them really impt!
some part of me wishes that we'll get to dance together again.
dunno how possible that is.
but when a group of ppl dance together in front of a mirror , it just feels good, especially when we are co-ordinated and everyone looks good.
sometimes we would videotape ourselves dancing.
then when we all watch it together we realise that "hey! we are actually quite co-ordinated!"
then we all feel so happy.

and i like watching the guys and chan eng and julia dance hip-hop.
cos they are really good- they have that style and attitude i can never quite get.
don't know if i'll ever get a chance to watch them dance again.
haiz.



I hope we'll never stop dancing. ever.

yesterday i went to orchard to sort out my hp stuff for my first month in cam.
i got myself an M card.
the most impt part of it is that i get to receive smses from S'pore for free.
and the ppl in S'pore pay the same amt as a local sms to sms me cos i'm using a Spore number. and thats free if you've got a good plan.
it costs a lot to call out and receive calls, so that phone number for the m card is solely for smsing.
unfortunately it costs a lot for me to send smses.
according to the website its 15 cents.
according to the customer service person its $1.
so i dunno.
in any case, i will use my smses sparingly.
will get a phone card there that i can use to call S'pore at 1-2p a min from a payphone.

obviously i won't be posting my new phone number on my blog.
will tell everyone in my current phonebook.
problem is i lost my phonebook when i lost my phone so i have fewer than 100 numbers in my phone. which is quite sad.
so please sms me now so i can tell u my new number.
which i will activate on 27 sept.
so that if anything screws up i have less than 24 hours to call m1 and complain.

11 more days!!!
soon it'll be a single digit :(

did many things today!
went to mg to visit the teachers.
when i went to the staff room, the door opened and volia! my sec3/sec4 chinese teacher walked out!
AHHHH
she is back again in mg!
so happy to see her again.
never thought i would meet her anymore after she left mg.
but now she is back!
i told her that i was gg to cam and that i was inspired by the tales of cam she used to tell us in class last time.
she was pleased :)
the only bad thing was that i had to speak to her in chinese, so it was a teeny bit difficult expressing myself.
but she was really nice.
so happy to see her again after so long!!

then i saw mr loh!
for some mysterious reason he was wearing a lab coat in the staff room.
talked for a while.
then a teacher walked by and said "hi agnes!"
me: "hello!!!"
i thought "whats her name!!!! oh no oh no"
i know she taught me english and that she was really nice and bubbly.
then i continued talking to mr loh.
then another teacher walked by "hi agnes!"
me: "hello!!"
i thought "whats her name!!!! oh no oh no"
i know she taught me chem and was pregnant for a while.

so that was baddd
i regretted not mentally going through the names of teachers before i went to mg.
but anw.
so i went to look for ms ng.
and we talked and she said "did u see mrs leong?"
and i said "of course"
ah! so thats the name of my eng teacher- mrs beatrice leong.
fantastic lady.

then i spotted ms thomas!
yay
so i rushed to meet her.
she was really nice.
i think all the mg teachers are really nice :)
she decided that my shoes were cute.
but anw.
we talked about how fantastic bio is :)
then she wished me all the best, God bless, and gave me a hug.
very mg i feel.
can't imgaine any of the hc teachers doing that.
maybe only ms wang.

then i went to visit ms tan my ballet teacher.
she was so surprised to see me.
then she scolded me "why didn't u come back for 2 years!"
it so happened that they were having ballet exams that day, so i couldn't go into see the studio.
and my cert was locked up in a drawer in the studio so i couldn't get it.
i sat at the waiting area and talked to her for a while.
many things have changed.
they held two concerts after i left.
and some of the ballet ppl a year older than i am were already in advance class.
i was like "wow"
and i wondered about what might have been if i had carried on there.
as i spoke to her i looked around me.
at the familiar bench where i would sit and wait before lessons started.
the posters on the walls, of professional ballet dancers.
the counter.
everything looked the same.
but i could feel a subtle difference.
it wasn't as welcoming anymore.
i felt like a stranger. a little.
i had been learning ballet there since i was 4.
stopped at 17.
13 years and nothing really changed.
2 more didn't make much of a difference i guess.
but i felt out of touch with all that was happening there i guess.

from where i sat i could here the music drifting out from the studio.
typical short piano pieces for ballet.
although i have never danced to those pieces before, sitting there in such familiar surroundings and listening to such a familair type of music brought back memories.
and stirred up emotions.
i felt so sad.
i wished i could dance again.
dance ballet again. in that studio.
there was this longing.
but there was also this awareness that i was out of shape and out of practice.
haven't danced ballet for ages.
all my techniques have probably been eroded away.
don't think i'll be able to dance ballet that well anymore.

as i left the studio i could feel ms tan's eyes following me, silently but expertly looking me up and down do evaluate my body shape.
it is a known fact that ballet dancers who stop dancing usually balloon in size.
and i have never been one of the slimmer dancers in class.
in fact she was always complaining about the size of my butt.
that's the thing about ballet i guess. a slim person with no butt usually looks better.
so throughout my ballet life i had to watch my weight so that i wouldn't be too fat compared to my classmates.

but salsa is different.
ppl with butts are accepted.
fat ppl, thin ppl, tall ppl, short ppl- there is no discrimination.
no one really cares about other ppl's physique.
no one cares what u look like as long as u can dance well.
one of the top salsa dancers in the world is my height!
and she isn't that slim either.
but she is fantastic.
so there isn't really a pressure to lose weight in salsa.
except maybe to sqeeze into those costumes justin makes us wear to film videos.

salsa taught me to appreciate my butt.
and my body for what it is.
looks like i'll dancing salsa for a long long time.

woke up at an unearthly hour to see veek off at the airport this morning.
it was v different from the situation the last time i went to the airport to see the 4 wisconsin gurls off.
then, tears flowed freely, and didn't stop even when they entered the departure hall.
this time, it was very clean.
he hugged all his relatives and bid us all farewell.
then he went into the departure hall, waved, and walked away.
no tears at all.
impressive.


veek's fren, veek and me!

after that i took the mrt to clementi and it was only 10 plus!! in the morning!!
some of the shops weren't even open yet.
then i went to the clothing shops.
i was walking towards baleno when i saw It.
It happens to be a bright purple fleece sweater, sitting underneath a sign that said $10.
i almost fainted.
i brought the sweater to the fitting room, and the moment i tried it on, i knew we were meant to be.
so i bought the sweater.
it was originally $39.
and its fleece!!!
fleece=warm :)
yay!!!
happy :)

then i went home before going to biopolis to meet my mentor.
took photos of the nice waiting area.



the nice waiting area. those are seats. i think they look like pebbles :)

got to tour the lab.
its a fly lab.
got to see the famous Drosophila genus.
members of that genus are small and ugly.
eek
or maybe they are all of the same species.
should be leh.
then again they are all mutated like dunnno what.
so maybe its not the same species after all.

ah well.
thats for next time when sch starts.
now i enjoy myself.

watched Be With Me.
i have concluded that i'm never going to read movie reviews before i watch movies anymore.
cos if i do, i'll go into the theatre with certain expectations and preconceived notions about the standard of the movie.
then i won't be able to enjoy it.
The Island was a fantastic movie, and i didn't read a single review on it and i enjoyed it tremendously.
although Be With Me is a good movie, the whole "award winning" and "fantastic ratings" thing just made be feel as if i should be impressed by how amazing the whole movie is. which kinda backfired cos in the end i didn't enjoy the movie that much cos i was too busy trying to figure out why its so great.
i think the movie is thought-provoking. then again it included euthenesia, and that's a sure-fire way of making ppl ponder about human rights, death and the right to live.
most of all i was struck by the protagonist, teresa.
spurred on by her statement that she "was separated from the world of the living by a wall that can never be broken or torn down", i tried, for a moment, to imagine what it would be like to live without sights and sounds. to live incomplete darkness and complete silence.
it scared me.
which is why i think she is a remarkable woman, and a true source of inspiration indeed.

i feel powerful.
invincible.
i am vaccinated against meningitis and flu.
whee!!
but my arm still hurts where the dead viruses entered by body.
:(
the nurse who administered the injections was this old, old lady.
but with age comes experience and she was super pro... it hurt much less than the stoopid blood test i did some time ago.
yes, the one in which they siphoned off like 2 vials of my precious life-giving blood.
all that to tell me my haemoglobin concentration and that i don't have veneral disease.
bah.

its official now.
i've gotten my luggage.
so i can start packing.
theoretically.
but not in practice.
oops.

i received a rose today! its pretty. thanks! :)

today justin gave us a present-
in the form of a new move.
its difficult, but which new move isn't.
i've always wanted to learn that and finally i can.
its painful though- demanding on the knees.
:S
hope i can still walk properly tmr.

harry left xen before we could say goodbye!!
hope we'll meet again before he flies.

went for lunch w xinyi and xiaoen after church today.
fun fun.
the 3 of us had a camera each and we were taking photos in siam kitchen like some crazy tourists. it was fun :)
love u all v much!

met you after that.
i was glad to see you.
hope i didn't waste your time.
i wasn't fantastic company i'm afraid.
will strive to be a bit friendlier next time.

met the paternal side of the family for dinner.
my third farewell dinner.
i miss my cousins! :(
i've always been closer to the cousins on my paternal side.
not very very close, but close enough to feel pain when i realise that i won't see them anymore till july.
esp my older male cousin who is like the big brother i never had.
thank you for giving me advice and listening to me complain/whine/scream on msn about affairs of the heart.
i'm so glad there is msn messenger
whoever invented should get the nobel prize for medicine. it promotes good mental health.

and i will miss my grandparents so so so much!
don't even want to begin thinking about parting from them at the airport.
the one thing that never, ever fails to draw tears is the thought of parting with my grandma.
i love her so much.
i'm going to miss her so, so much.
i look like a goon crying infront of the laptop.
but it hurts so, so much.
she is the only person i've been hugging regularly since i was a little girl. and that makes me feel so, so loved.
she makes me feel so loved.
i was looking at photos from when i was young.
i realised how much she has aged.
and that makes me sad, cos i don't know long more i'll have to spend with her. and it sucks that i'll be overseas for so long.
:(
i'm going to be a wreck at the airport.

this is a momentous moment.
i have finally completed the longest chapter i've ever written for the assessment book.
all 45 pages of it.
after 2 weeks of labour it is finally done.
yay~
on to the next chapter.

its a happy day!
i've discovered that cambridge has finally acknowledged my existance.
yippee~
i received my orientation package today!
2 months after i received the imperial one.
but nvm
yayee~
according to the time table there is a party literally every other night.
no need to sleep liao.
and i need to get the college gown~
it costs 30 pounds.
thats 3 days worth of food allowance (refer to previous posts)
so looks like i'll have to starve.
need to dress formally for matriculation.
guys have to wear suit and tie.
girls have to wear skirt/ dress.
goodness.
i'll freeze in a dress.

and yesterday i received a postcard from thailand.
apparently my college has decided to pair the seniors with the juniors so i have a college "aunt" who is a third year econs student.
she lives in bangkok!
so funky.

so now i have a college "aunt" assigned by the college.
a "sibling" assigned by a.*
a "parent" assigned by cumsa.
and so far i've only met the "parent"
looking forward to meeting the rest of them at cam.
then can put a face to the name.
yay

had a pri sch gathering today!
saw suffian for the first time in.. er.. 4 years. wow. looks the same.
dinner at a north indian restaurant.

then i rushed down to hc with yean lih for maf!
met some of the 7a guys on the way to the central plaza.
the only 7a girl i saw was cheryl.
dunno where the rest went.
took lotsa photos!




pretty light-up!


mg girls!


junior class- gathered them for a photo in the middle of mass dance :S


kelvin! who is like chao ta. soon he is gonna start shedding. couldn't find the rest of the class except a few guys + cheryl.. haven't seen everyone for so long :(


me + my students from 7C. spent dunno how long looking for them to pass them the chocolates i promised them.

saw quite a few 73 students here and there.
didn't see any 7a students except for one councillor.
haven't seen them all for so long. haiz.

there was a fondue party at fio's house today!!
cheese and chocolate fondue all-girls farewell party for xiaoen and i with the sisters-in-Christ from church.
yay
ate a lot.
and took a lot of photos.
all girls mah. and all photo-taking addicts. so yah.



chocolate-covered marshmellow!!! so nice!


the three of us! xinyi gave us a notebook and a note. so sweet... thanks babe :)

today was fun.
watched The Longest Yard.
hilarious yet painful-to-watch show.
painful cos the all-male cast kept hitting each other at a very sensitive part of the male anatomy.
at least it looked painful.
i wouldn't know :)

then i remembered a conversation i had with my uncle at the farewell yesterday.
uncle: show us your camera!
me: ok! i'll show u a video
*proceeds to show a v short video clip i took using my pink camera*
uncle: what type of dance is this?
me: this is salsa!
uncle: so you learn salsa?
me: yes!
uncle: i'm going to learn salsa too!
me: really?!
uncle: yes i'm going to learn tmr- at xenbar. i know the owner justin! he is my friend and he invited me there.
me:.....
me: he is my shi fu!

ok so after that very interesting piece of news i decided that we should go to xenbar today.
so we did, after the movie.
met my uncle there!
introduced me to his friends.
apparently they are all part of the young entreprenuers club of successful businessmen.
quite intimidating really.
then suddenly justin announced that we were all going to union.
and so we did!
on the way to the car park, my uncle introduced us to this man.
i thought he was just another businessman.
on the way to union, he told us that that guy is actually the owner of nydc.
!
scary.
then we went to union.
and i danced in non-dance shoes and jeans- double firsts.
i had this nagging feeling when i left the house this afternoon that i should bring my dance shoes along but i ignored it. and i regreted it big time at union.
couldn't do more than 2 spins in those shoes which threathened to fall off anytime. dunno how yan qing does it!
anw.
it was fun.
except when we tried to do the rueda variations we learnt and realised that we couldn't remember.
*runs and hides away from justin*
but on the whole i had a good time!

19 more days.
ahhhhhhhhhhh

i went to collect my visa yesterday.
hip hip hurray!
no more worrying about the lousy entry clearance!

i was at borders yesterday making full use of the 20% storewide discount for students and teachers.
cos i am actually both.
or rather, in between.
but anw, i was with ts, who is a legitimate student in the eyes of the borders ppl, so we filled in the form with his particulars instead.
i bought a card for emma- happy birthday!
and i bought... *drumroll*
the Woman In White soundtrack!!!
$50 before discount
$40 after discount
whee!
watched the musical in london and fell in love with the songs.
been eyeing the cd since june and now there is finally a sale.
yay~
lalala.

i was walking around borders when a bright pink book caught my eye.
"how to be a heiress" or something to that effect.
by paris hilton.
so i had to flip through it.
the first chapter read: advice-how to be a heiress.
tip #1: be born into the right family.
"choose your chromosomes wisely."
...
fantastic advice, that.



had a farewell dinner with my maternal relatives.
i was dreading it all day cos i was afraid it would be awkward.
but it the end it was great- my little cousins are so cute.
although i'm not very close to any of them at all, i felt this tinge of sadness as they walked out of my house and probably out of my life for the next year or so.
this marks the beginning of a series of farewells.
sad~

yup i've finally got news abt my accomodation.
they told me i've got the "standard room" as opposed to the "value room", "standard plus room" and "best room".
and my lowly "standard room" comes with a fantastic price tag- 919 pounds a term.
i worked it out.
at this rate i have a grand total of 11 pounds to spend on food a day.
thats if i spend all my allowance on food and accomodation.
and i have to buy the college gown.... and sign up for cca.. and obviously the money will come from the allowance after deduction of accomodation.
so that means i have to pay for all expenses from my food fund.
so that means that i will starve.
whee~

Char Kuay Teow! :)


Mirror in a mirror in a mirror...



ballet salsa?

felt a tinge of sadness as i laced up by ballet shoes.
will i ever dance ballet again?
yes!
in cambridge~
then i'll have the chance to start all over again.
and of course there is salsa
every night there!
whee!~

ate char kuay teow for dinner today.
so oily!
but so nice :)
time to go to beauty world to eat the char kuay teow in the hawker centre at the top level.
haven't been there for so long!
i have decided to abstain from western food until i reach england.
so no more pasta for me.

dance today was fun~
learnt a new variation called spaghetti.
and practiced the old variations.
we are supposed to know 9 variations by know but we only know 4!
*runs and hides from justin*
jia lat.
and i need to learn the shine..
which is so difficult!
the afro-cuban parts are so.. elusive.
i don't have the feeling man.
can't feel like an african farmer.
haiz.

ppl like to ask me: have u packed?
the answer is: NO. i haven't even bought my luggage yet.
my mum has decided that luggages are space-consuming so we will only buy my luggage a week before departure.
cam still hasn't sent me my accomodation forms.
i don't wanna sleep on the streets!

yesterday was a fun day
went to comex and got a digicam!
its pink :)
thank you mummy!

and at night i went for the cccf bbq.
that's cam chinese Christian fellowship.
got to know even more people yay~
didn't go for the uk bound party clubbing thingy cos most, if not all, of the cam ppl weren't "officially" informed. the organisers told the cumsa head abt the party the day before the bbq and he told us so last minute, so obviously i went for the bbq instead since it had been planned a long time ago. and so did most of the cam ppl i'm close to. so yay~

and then after that i went to xen!
yesterday's xen experience was so fun.
everyone was there; no one went to union.
learnt new shines and recalled the variations we learnt.
stayed till 12 plus cos it was still so happening then.
hope we can still remember the steps on monday :S