i'm heartbroken again :(
*sob*
left my job at nuh today.
will begin my new job at hcjc tmr.
i'm so sad.
i don't wanna leave!
i love my job.
i don't wanna quit.
but i have no choice since i agreed to return to hc to teach.
haiz.
i miss everyone there already!
from the head nurse to the MO to the registrars.
sad sad sad.
they were all so nice :(
even the head nurse has been nice these few days.
i forgot to bring my camera today!
so i didn't take a single pic.
so sad.
i will return in june with my grandfather who is a patient there.
hopefully i'll be able to bring them good news regarding my uni apps.
i'm sad.
i wanna continue working there!!
i don't wanna mug bio notes to prepare for lessons :(
but i guess it's good to have a change of job.. i'll get to experience more.
in nuh i was the youngest staff there, and the ppl i interacted with were twice or thrice my age.
now in hc i'll still be the youngest staff, but the ppl i'll interact with will be younger than me, albiet by 2 years. it'll take some getting used to.

now that i'm gone from nuh, they've found someone to take my place. she started work a few days ago.
her name begins with A too!
and unlike me, she is a permanent staff instead of a temp one.
her name is... Apple.
she is quite a nice person.
21 years old.
and she handles old patients well.
we've exchanged hp no.s and i think she'll do well there.
it pains me to think that soon she'll totally replace me in terms of the work i once did, and will eventually replace me in the doctors' and nurses' minds as the clinic assistant.
i guess its inevitable- my departure won't and shouldn't affect the running of the uro centre.
it just hurts to think that soon i'll be erased from their memories to fade into oblivion.
unless one day i return to work with them again- as a medical student or a doctor.
which would really depend on what God wants for me.
so i'm praying hard.
trust and obey.

and i'm heartbroken :(
bought a subway cookie.
had a few bites, then put it back into the paper bag.
then took the cookie out again, but dropped it in the process.
so the poor cookie landed flat on the floor
*piak*
so sad.
it suffered a few hairline fractures, but i had to throw it away cos the floor was quite dirty.
*sob sob*
poor cookie.
sigh.

went for the dsta tea session today
much bette than the A*star one i feel- more inspiring and less crappy.
indeed, the A*star one was crappy and not very professionally done.
the food at the dsta tea session was so good!
especially the tramisu and chocolate mousse :)
thats all i remember.

made a new fren today.
who is the fren of a person i met only once in my life.
or twice.
and this new fren knows jian yang
so he decided to come along for salsa!
so today there were lotsa ppl at xenbar- me, ying, amanda, jian yang, porshee, vincent, kenneth and silvanus!
fun fun
and tmr there is performance class.
ouch
feet hurt.
on heels since 930 am this morning :(

wohoo
received another mail from the nice ppl in ucas who informed me that edinburg decided to give me an unconditional offer instead.
yay~
to God be the glory


to God be the glory
great things He hath done
so loved Thee the world that He gave us His Son
who suffered and died an atonement for sin
and opened the life-gates that all may go in.

combined service tmr.
hopefully there will be Holy Communion.
i think there should be.
its most meaningful on easter.

i love u Jesus
deep down in my heart
i love u Jesus
deep down in my heart
talk about deep deep, down down,
deep down in my heart
talk about deep deep, down down,
deep down in my heart!

its Good Friday.

on a hill faraway
stood an old rugged cross
the emblem of suffering and shame
and i love that old cross
where the dearest and best
for a world of lost sinners was slain

so i'll cherish the old rugged cross
till my trophies at last i lay down
i will cling to the old rugged cross
and exchange it some day for a crown

all things bright and wonderful
all creatures great and small
all this bright and beautiful
the Lord God made them all~

i love beautiful things
like the inticate webs of a damselfly's wings
or the soft pink petals of a delicate rose
or the things i can do with the gold embossing powder i jsut bought

yes indeed.
after resisting for 3 years i've finally bought the gold embossing powder
and the ink pad that goes with it
incredibly expensive i must add.
but it brings card-making to a whole new level.
yay~

xenbar has opened another outlet in spore!
its in Mohammad Sultan rd!
soft launch today
but i didn't go
went for dinner with an old fren instead
but we spent lots of time talking on our handphones to other ppl
ah well
over-ate today
ate la-mian
then half a cup of smoothie
and 3 pieces of chocolate
and some slices of watermelon
and a ricola sweet
and i didn't dance today
so must make up for it tmr!!
though my legs are so tired
standing on the balls of the feet for at least 3 hours is no joke
plus the numerous turns that require balancing on one foot
phew~
poor legs are tired
or just plain unfit haha

my app to cornell has been withdrawn
apparently its incomplete cos i didn't submit the high sch transcript
watever that is.
heck~

i didn't dance today.
went home to rest instead.
my left shoulder joint still hurts from yesterday's practice- too many CBLs done wrongly.
:(
don't think i'll dance tmr either.
very tired.
dunno why.

and my stoopid cornell account has been disabled.
wattheheck.
not that i really care cos it doesn't matter whether or not i get into cornell- i would have withdrawn my application if not for the fact that i would have wasted all my money if i were to do so.
so i'm still wondering if i should call them up (thereby wasting time and money) to rectify the problem.
bleh.

received a few successive letters from ucas.
in the mail.
i love receiving mail.
esp if they bring good news.
such as the fact that 3 UK unis have changed their minds and given me unconditional offers instead of conditional- imperial, york and southampton.
made me feel a bit better after the 4 march incident when my self esteem was severely bruised.

so now with UK being so inviting and US being so dao i really can't be bothered with US anymore.

just checked my junk mail.
in case mail got directed wrongly.
and behold! 3 emails advertising viagra.
goodness.
after speaking with the doctors i've discovered that there are better, albeit more expensive, drugs than viagra available in the market.
with better efficacy and similar side effects.
if u wanna know more u can ask me.
i will not advertise ED drugs on my blog.
though i must debunk the myth that viagra is only pill that cures ED.
cos the viagra drug rep was not nice to me~
the other drug reps gave me pens spontaneously but the viagra one didn't.
mwahaha

danced on monday
and wednesday
and thursday
and today
and possibly will be dancing tmr too
thats.. 5 days a week
yikes~
and i don't seem to be improving :s
but its ok.
i'm learning cool fun stuff :)
and i'm enjoying myself.
my only gripe is that xenbar is in chinatown- which is so so far away!

had very very bad menstrual cramps yesterday.
so bad that i had to rest in the pantry even though i was halfway through running a clinic
i asked a nurse for panadol before hand and is appeared promtly.
so i took the panadol and rested in the pantry.
then the head nurse walked in.
she was surprisingly nice with "wat's wrong? why did u tell anyone?"
i told another nurse lah.. but she was rather busy so i guess she didn't relate it to the head nurse.
but anw
so the head nurse made me lie down on the couchin the pantry.
and just when i plopped down in a very unglam position, who should walk in but a doctor... who promptly laughed and said that i should rest in a consultation room which he had just vacated.
so i rested in on the patient examination bed :S
just like a patient.
the the doctor was like "don't faint ah.. or else i'll have to to cpr"
...
so they let me rest.
and one nurse made me milo
and another bought me lunch
and the head nurse even found me a blanket
yay
so i felt so loved :)
the panadol worked well and soon i was up.

i was on my way to the pantry to collect my stuff to go home when i bumped into The Boss who said "go in and help the (indian) doctor with the translation!"
so i had to assist a doc in a clinic until 530
but it was pretty slack to it wasn't too bad.

dance today was fun
learnt a new routine.
with a move called "titanic"
quite fun haha
and then we were treated to a performance by yan qing and justin, our "shi fu"s who are super zai..
sigh..

danced for 7 hours yesterday.
4 hours at jitterbugs for salsa, merengue, pilates and jazz ballet.
salsa wasn't that fun cos it was super crowded.
merengue was fun cos it could be done without the need for a lot of space.
pilates was demoralising cos i realised how weak my abs were. and still are.
jazz ballet was ok. strange cos it didn't have ballet's rigid rules yet had steps borrowed from ballet.
so the conclusion is that i wanna learn merengue at jitterbugs!

3 hours of dance at xenbar.
learn a nice new (much easier) sequence for intermediate plus some simple shines.
still can remember it today..albeit with jianyang's help haha

went for performance class today.
learnt shining and one sequence for 3 hours.
the same thing for 3 hours.
but time really flew by.
the whole thing was super complicated... but i think we sort of got it.. only hope that we won't forget!! :s
caught a glimpse of of rhumba today.
it looks so so fun!!!
ahh i'm in love with it.. i really really wanna learn it..
unfortunately its taught on monday at the same time as rueda!
i prefer rhumba :)
so i'm gonna learn rhumba :p


next dance lesson on thurs.
feels so strange not dancing for 2 days.
hmm.

and so it is out.
the result of 2 years worth of work.
an A for math, and i really really thank God for that.. cos i've never gotten an A for math before in my years in hc.. and i made so so many careless mistakes.
a B3 for GP. i would have been disappointed if not for the fact that augustine wong told me that he'll fail my essay if he marked it. so i lived in fear of failure and in constant prayer and at last i passed my GP, and for that i'm deeply grateful.

merit for chem S.
can't say i'm surprised, for i don't deserve a distinction. i'm grateful for a merit, and i thank God for that.

ungraded for bio S.
a sore disappointment, a huge blow, and the cause of many tears.
was praying for a merit.
but it didn't come to pass.
i suppose that if the likes of lim yifan gets merit i should be contented with ungraded.
some ppl have been very nice.. comforting me a lot.. and i do thank u all for that :)
both mag tan and mrs foo reminded me that we were all warned during the first bio S session that the distinction rate for bio S was very low. how true. but i went for it anyway. sometimes i wonder if i should have taken physics S instead. but i guess given the chance i would still take bio. even with this outcome.
and despite the fact that i got ungraded, mrs foo is still willing to let me teach bio in hc. but i dunno if i can do it.. how to face the students lidat?! nonetheless i agreed to teach.. so there is no turning back now.

i guess on the whole i did ok.
and i do thank God for that.
but i didn't live up to expectations, both mine and others'.
and with such ambiguous grades that are neither very good nor very bad i dunno wat i'm gonna do in future.
i suppose now more than ever i'm gonna have to learn to trust and let God lead.

second session at Xenbar today.
2 lessons, beginners then intermediate.
beginners was good cos i got to dance with this v zai guy. who pointed out my mistakes and helped me to improve. then between beginners and intermediate class he led and i just followed.. did some pretty cool stuff i never knew i could do.. but it was possible cos he is a good leader. some intermediate guys are lousy leaders. so it was really fun trying out new routines and new steps.
then intermediate class started.
learnt some shining.
they teach really fast so i didn't really catch how to do some of the steps properly.
ditto with today's variation.
teach so fast and not v clear.. cos i dunno lotsa intermediate steps yet :s
hopefully monday's performance class would help clarify things a bit.
still v luan4 abt some steps.
plus i realised i can't dance in a straight line.
and i need new shoes.
and i miss ballet/jazz.

so its confirmed.
not the release of results.
my dance lessons!
i'll be learning salsa and rueda at Xenbar.
forget abt Attitude and Jitterbugs.
(at least for now)
i'll be going to Xenbar for lessons at least twice a week, prob even more.
yay~