so pretty :) the pink colour matches my blog :) thats Mn2+  

phy lect! thats likoon on the stage. reminds me of the times we spent together as a class in school. kinda miss that. not the work though.  

little cousin! 

hallmarks of a smart bimbo 

3 of us :p 

i was on the bus today on the way to meet nette at orchard
so i was sitting on a seat by the window
then this bunch of guys came on the bus
quite tall and i thought they were abt our age
so some sat behind me and one sat beside me
and they started talking v loudly
therefore i could hear wat they were saying

"my L1 R5 should allow me to got to xxjc"
so they were sec 4!

"did u see the sec 1 and sec 2 kids.. they wear the school uniform to terribly.. their pants look like they are gonna drop off"
ok loh. sec1 sec2 very young. u all v old loh.

"the new generation of students are different from us. they take great pride in breaking all the school rules"
for goodness sake they are like 2 years younger than u and they are considered "next generation"?
then i'm wat... elderly?

but my point is this
i don't think i look 18
i don't feel like i'm 18 either
i feel about 16
and look abt 14

and the sales ppl still call me "xiao mei mei"
i wonder when that will end
maybe when i have white hair
then they have no choice

trees near my house 

nice sky 

my church!! 

rat. nuff said. 

kelvin! 

me at some bio s preparation session 

me n oiying at choir concert 

me n likoon :) 

me n ying 

me n oiying 

i'm free
yay
so now i'm officially unemployed
no more hc uniform
a bit sad
oh
there is still the principal's tea session
have a chat with mr ang
so maybe i'll have to wear the sch u
for the last time
and the first time i'll tuck the shirt in
all the way in
:D

bio s was better than chem s
ie, i screwed up less
but i practiced v bad time management
my last essay was only 2.5 sides = bad.
and i didn't write abt the heterotroph hypothesis which is the crux of the second part of the question
as in thats wat everyone who did it said lah
which is true lah
so i didn't complete that question
and since there are only 3 questions, this is not a good thing
ok stop brooding
can't change a thing
i keep telling ppl to "justleave it to God"
on the MRT on the way home i realised that i should do that to
cos anything can happen.
3 seniors got gold for sbo
1 got D, 1 got M and 1 got U for bio s
(but of course the one who got U got the remarked and was promoted to an M)
so yup
just pray hard and see

received a conditional offer from the University of Edinburg to read Biology
hehe
its in Scotland, so i guess my statement in the ucas form abt loving the "rich tradition of British academic life" included that of Scotland as well.
almost had a heart attack when i realised that i wrote "British" and sent the form to scotland
then uncle ian told me that scotland is in britain
so thats good
it doesn't pay to be ignorant man.. can result in myocardial infarction
quite happy
Edinburg is beautiful
not that i'll go there lah
but well
do thank God for that :)

random thoughts streaming through my head that might not make sense.
well then
after conversing with a few ppl
i think i should have taken phy s instead
why oh why did i take chem s?
why?
cos i like chem
chem is fun
it really is.
organic and inorganic chem that is.
physical chem sux(read: kinetics, equilibria, anythingthatneedsmath)
i enjoy reading abt all the periodicity and elemental reactions
i think its interesting
but
i think i screwed up my chem s paper
so why did i take chem?
why did i not take phy s?
ppl told me the paper phy was easy
darn.
and i just realised that i did better for phy than for chem for promos and prelims
wellwell.
is it cos my chem sux?
maybe
haiz
i could do qn 2. no time.
qn 8a i blanked out.
and there was no time.
it will not happen for bio s.
cos i dun think i will have stuff to write
argh
and guess wat
i don't even feel jealous that ppl are playing now
really
i feel afraid
afraid that i cant do bio s
and numb
numb to the fact that freedom is a few days away.
so wat
it can be a week away for all i care
cos i don't.
can't be bothered.
i'm slacking now anw.
big diff.

one happy thing
i received 3 letters today
so nice :)

1. perlini's
to inform me abt their new collection.
and to remind me that i'm still stuck at home and can't go shopping
2. psc
psychometric retest
"essential if u intend to apply for the psc scholarship"
oh. so the first test showed that i'm not psycho enough and they want me to do it again.
not gg
too bad.
3.nus
"come see it for urself"
"ranked 18 in the world"
more like 80

but anw
i think i'll end up in nus after all
yay

i dun wanna fail!!!!!!!!!

tragic
chem s was tragic
i had no time
i did qns 45782
in that order
i couldn't do 8.
a)AZ identification that yielded no results.
b)nmr crap. ok not so crap cos i could find all the rubbish. but thats only 3 compounds as opposed to the 5 that i couldn't find in a)
7 was ok.
but everyone found it ok so there is no diff.
4 and 5 were ok
inorganic
i love inorganic.
then i had 20 mins left after doing 4578
so i did qn 1 cos 2 looked strange
then i realised that it was not doable at all
then i had 3 mins left
ok
so i did qn 2
realised it was easy
*&*^%
but of course doing sth in 3 mins isn't good
cos i only did like 7 marks worth (out of 20)
and then in retrospect i don't think i did it all that well either (in 3 mins)
darn
shouldn't have done qn 1 at all
then i might have done 2 better
and i should have spent a bit more time on 8 to try to elucidate the cmpnds
i should have
i should have
its too late now
wat can i do but pray
and mug for bio s.

"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me."
Phillippians 4:13

i miss Smallville
no Smallville on tv now
so sad.
found a nice pic
:)

well then
phy is more or less over
wasn't too bad i guess
i do thank God for that
i thought i did qn 5 wrongly cos 2 pple said that its proton
then i wrote alpha particle
but but
chicken put alpha particle too
so yay
happy
:)

checked mcq ans for phy and chem with yh
not a good thing to do actually
cos i discovered how careless i am
though that isn't much of a surprise really.
haiz
whywhy am i so careless

whoa just watched the surfing show "the Boarding House"
so nice
they surf so well (duh)
and it looks fun
maybe i should consider that letter that the University of Hawaii sent me
i'll go major in hula dancing and minor in wake boarding
sounds good
then no more math summore
there is only a teeny problem
i'm afraid of big waves

29 nov.
so far away.
so so so far awayyyy
why oh why did i take those ass papers
to prolong my suffering for 4 more days after others can slack.
i dread the end of phy paper 5
when everyone can head to orchard and celebrate
and i can head home to mug
why oh why am i whining when i'm supposed to be preparing for tmr's phy paper.
i'm not making sense

today's bio paper was exciting
so exciting that when i got to the second structured question i wondered if i was doing the correct option.

i personally feel that the structured questions were hc standard loh
bone formation and all
(warning:do not continue reading if u wanna forget abt the paper cos i'm gonna start whining)
i decided to act smart and write abt osteoclasts and osteocytes and cleverly left out osteoblasts, which are the most impt.
which was a bad thing to do cos i was smoking my way through.
anw this crap is not in the syllabus and i realised that not listening during biomed training will come and haunt me one day, when i can't remember wat i am supposed to have learnt
bleh
nevermind
it was for the 4 mark question.
which mrs foo addressed in the appendix of the pregnancy notes
which i obviously didn't really read
so i think its in the appendix. might be somewhere else in that thick stack of notes.
watever
its over

and for the essay i made a big big mistake
i named the wrong plant
*blush*
so embarrassing
when i told sherman and tengsoon wat i wrote they almost died laughing
so i'm not gonna write it here
the correct plant is the medow fescue.
but i couldn't remember
anw
so i had to ask several ppl abt it
cos the essay is worth 8 marks.. big business leh
and the 3 pple i consulted said that there is a max of 1 mark of for wrong example
i hope so
they made me feel better
thanks :)

the best thing abt spore idol is the advert
the olympus advert to be exact
cos the song is nice :)
wat song is that?

after the uni shock yesterday, i received a bit of good news this morning
i received a conditional offer from the University of York to read Biology

kinda regret it though.
the Bio dept at York is housed in some dunno wat building
but the departments of Archaeology, Medieval Studies and Eighteenth Century Studies are housed in King's Manor.
the pic of King's Manor is below



so nice right
should have applied to read Medieval Studies
quite interesting
for the sec 4 english project thing i did research on the history of fashion
from the medieval times up to the early Twentieth Century.
can't remember much though
i think the medieval gowns are much nicer than the ones that followed in the Elizabethan and Victorian era
more elegant



i've always wanted to sit in a little cafe by the road
drink coffee and watch the world go by
with the sun shining brightly, yet cold enough to require a jacket
so nice~

*crashes back to reality*
conditional offer.
means i have to meet their conditions.
haiz

jac said sth a long time ago that really stuck
she called me a smart bimbo.
after entering my blog for the first time.
i can't seem to forget it
i think its a great compliment, and i'm not worthy of it :)
i'm working towards the "smart" bit, but its not really working.
and i don't think i'm much of a bimbo
hehe

"smart bimbo" reminds me of elle woods in legally blonde
which, by the way, is one of my fav movies.
legally blonde 1, not 2 (the sequel isn't as good)
well, so the protagonist in the movie is like the perfect epitome of a smart bimbo
pretty in pink, well versed in fashion and reading law in harvard.
wowee

well then
i think my blog is pink enough to take care of the bimbo part
so lets work towards the smart part on this blog
hmm
wat to do?
i know
lets calculate my cardiac output
(and showcase my terrible math to the whole world)

when i went to gleneagles they took my heart rate and blood pressure
but bld pressure isn't relevant for this

so HR=80 bpm (wayy too high i think. i'm unfit)
since i have no way of calculating EDV and ESV. we shall estimate.
vol of heart= approx vol of fist= 200 ml
then assume 30% myocardium
so that would be 14o ml of free space for blood
looks ok
after atrial systole all the blood in the heart is in the ventricles
assume super efficient heart
SV= 120 ml/min
(ok a bit inaccurate here... but too bad)
CO=SV X HR
= 120X80
= 9600 ml/min
hmm
thats a lot of blood for a tiny person like me
conclusion:
i estimated the SV a bit wrongly
ok
not smart enough

i've been thinking
i feel like doing medicine after all
so why am i wasting my time applying for overseas uni?
haha
this it the tip of the ice berg
i think abt it everyday
if i were to write it all down it'll fill a book
but
everyday i reach the same conclusion
leave it to God
yep
:)

mrs lim is being helpful :)
though i haven't told her abt the need to fax yet :/
so its not too bad after all
i think the postmen in US are all slacking.

sad

today is a sad day.
i woke at 630 and reached sch by 730 only to discover (to my horror) that the paper started at 230.
so i froze in the lib until 1130 cos a mosquito at the class bench chased me away.
after which i went for lunch
then did a bit of twenty-year-series at the classbench
drank milk tea in the canteen.. where i was informed by 2 males that i'm accumulating adipose tissue
thanks man
but anw
back at the class bench
answered some qns from the 76 ppl
for the first time in my life i could answer their questions
so i felt quite happy :)

ok
so we went in for the chem paper
and i dunno wat i was doing
and thus far i have 3 wrong
sad
:(
why am i so blind and careless?
so i was feeling pretty lousy

and it was pouring so i got soaked on the way home, albeit with an umbrella

when i got home
i did the usual thing
switch on com... check mail.. and
viola
email from stanford!!
heart rate increases from 80 beats/min to 160 beats/min
"As of today, we have not received the application credential listed
below. Please fax the missing credential to: (650) 723-6050 by:
November 21, 2004 "
...
panic
a lot
turns out that they didn't receive mrs lim's reference
but mrs lim said she sent it
together with lihao's form, which they received
arghh
thus my msn nick: stoopid postman
:(
so i progressed from feeling lousy to feeling decomposed
sob

then i started chatting online
checked ans w chicken
then i felt better
:)
i know its over and i shouldn't be brooding over wat i can't change.. thats wat i keep telling others.. but when it's my turn, i can't stop thinking abt the paper
classic case of easier said than done
anw
so we checked a few qns and i'm a bit happier
plus i was chatting with 9 pple simultanously, all of whom were v comforting and nice :)
thanks :)
so now i've progressed from feeling rotten to feeling normal
thats a good thing

haiz

i just realised its chem mcq tmr
actually i realised it some time ago
but it has just hit me that i haven't touched my chem notes yet
AHHH

phy today
paper 1 was ok
it was exciting loh
at the last moment i realised that qn 19 was wrong
so i erased my ans on the omr
then i realised i erased qn 9 not 19
panic
then the (very irritating) invigilator said "stop writing"
panic even more
shade back the correct ans on qn 9
then handed up the thing
in the end it turned out that my qn 19 was right after all
so its a good thing that i didn't change it :)

paper 2 was bad
:(
had mental block for the easy qn on force/mass of electron
i thought it was some super cheem thing that required manipulation of formulae
so i left it blank
after i completed the paper i had 2 mins left
so i went back and stared at the qn
then when i had 0.5 mins left it hit me
so with trembling hands i did the qn
when the (vvv irritating ) invigilator said "stop writing"
i just finished writing the last number
really really thank God for that
cos its a 4 mark qn!
data analysis was hard
i didn't know wat was going on
plus i had a severe mental block on the last page
so i just drew everything in series, cos there is bound to be one in series
well so thats 3 marks off
and i couldn't do the calculation before that either!
another 2 marks off
so basically i was feeling pretty lousy at the end of the paper
so i went to the lib to stone a bit
quite empty really.. and v cold
then yh appeared
and of course i had to talk abt phy
then i learnt that i got one mcq qn wrong
and that the first bit of my data analysis was correct
and the 4 mark *&%$^# qn that i did in 0.5 mins was correct as well
so yay
quite happy.. despite the fact that i practically threw away dunno how many marks for date analysis
sigh
plus phy prac wasn't too good
cannot afford to screw up paper 3 and 5

well then
chem paper 2 is over
good thing is that it wasn't too bad
bad thing is that i got the first part of the first question wrong
because of my wonderful math
i decided that since there is a 2 somewhere and a 4 somewhere the rate is first order
somehow it didn't occur to me that 2 square =4
anw
so that is 4 marks down
nvm lah
i'm proud of my little drawing of silicon dioxide
i think its v pretty :)

oh yes
and i practiced v good time management
we had 90 mins in all
i spent 55 mins on the first 3 questions
then i realised i had 35 min for the last 3 questions
panic.
so i qionged through the last 3 questions
and had 10 mins left to spare, really do thank God for that
so i went back to check qn 1
and still didn't spot my mistake
bleh
and there wasn't any organic chem qn lah
i like organic chem
they are mean
i don't like drawing isomers.. esp since i can't use liquid paper

took the same bus as xiao en today
and she had the math paper 2 qn booklet with her
somehow we could remember all the ans for section A so we went through it together
and!
we only had one part different!!
which is only 3 marks different!!!
and xiaoen's ans is correct cos she takes F maths see
so i got 3 marks off only.. in addition to the 12 marks in section D
but nvm
so yay!
there is hope yet :)

last time it was 90+9+1=99
now its "product" and i calculated the sum
yay
12 marks gone
and the irony of it all is that i did both 30 either and or
then i decided that or looked wrong
so i crushed it and handed up 30 either
which was wrong
a quick check with yifan proved that my 30 or was right after all
...
how to get A lidat?!!

"faith is being sure of what u hope for and certain of what u do not see"
Hebrews 11:1

just have faith

went to Gleneagles to see the doctor last night after i felt some pain after swallowing the bone.
the doc looked a bit irritated and couldn't decide wat to do cos i said that the bone wasn't in the throat
so he decided that i should take an x ray
so i took 2 x rays, one at the throat and one at the thorax
then after the xray was developed, he glanced at each one in turn and said
"no bone...no bone"
with that look on his face that clearly said
"this kid is hallucinating"
watever
then he said
"the bone is probably in your stomach"
right
where else would it be if its not in my throat or esophagus
goodness
but its nice to know that the bone is not stuck somewhere
really thank God for that
after all the horror stories i've heard abt ppl's trachea being pierced and all
eek
and thank you daddy for bringing me to see the doc in the middle of the night :)

i swallowed a fish bone!!!
the perils of eating a fish while blogging
:(

If you're not the one then why does my soul feel glad today?
If you're not the one then why does my hand fit yours this way?
If you'are not mine then why does your heart return my call
If you are not mine would I have the strength to stand at all

I never know what the future brings
But I know you are here with me now
We'll make it through
And I hope you are the one I share my life with

I don't want to run away but I can't take it, I don't understand
If I'm not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am?
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?

If I don't need you then why am I crying on my bed?
If I don't need you then why does your name resound in my head?
If you're not for me then why does this distance maim my life?
If you're not for me then why do I dream of you as my wife?

I don't know why you're so far away
But I know that this much is true
We'll make it through
And I hope you are the one I share my life with
And I wish that you could be the one I die with
And I pray in you're the one I build my home with
I hope I love you all my life

I don't want to run away but I can't take it, I don't understand
If I'm not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?

nice song :)
except for one line that makes me sound les
so please mentally erase that line
i didn't delete it cos otherwise it won't rhyme
anyway
such a sweet song :)

i have discovered that i have lost all ability to do physics
after not touching physics for 2 months, this is hardly surprising
goodness
and phy is next week
ahh!!

i just discovered that there is this ulu uni in atlanta called...
Agnes Scott College
hahaha
http://www.agnesscott.edu/home/p_home.asp

bio was ok
math was not
so many careless mistakes
1+9+90= 99
best
then lidat 6 marks gone
sob
and i couldn't do 8 marks of easy questions
haiz
well its over
and i do thank God for helping me through nonetheless



news that brightened up my day after the terrible math paper
i got a conditional offer from the University of Southampton
to study Biology
to God be the glory :)

and yesterday liwei had to inform me that all of those in hc who applied to King's College London got in.
so its nothing special
but oh well
nevermind
got an offer from them can liao haha

but i think at the rate my math paper is going, i can kiss all the offers goodbye

i've always wanted to write this:
only ppl with 2 or more X chromosomes should read the below.
ppl with Y chromosomes should not, unless u fulfill the above criterion
because
ppl with the Y chromosome will not understand what i'm gonna type
u may think u understand
but u don't
cos u won't experience it for yourself
too bad

anw
its not easy being a woman
especially since we have fluctuating hormone levels
(unlike males.. testosterone continuously at astronomical levels-
but i digress)
wats wrong with fluctuating hormone levels
a lot of things
especially when progestrone levels plunge
as well as oestrogen levels
leading to an increased sensitivity of organs in the pelvic region to the wonderous effects of prostaglandins-
the hormones that are capable of inflicting a certain something that only females will understand
and then LH and FSH levels will start to rise
but thats not the point
the point is that progestrone levels are low
and therefore those terrible prostaglandins can be hard at work
so the most wondrous invention of the 20th century is not the air-con
it is panadol
yup
because they inhibit the COX enzymes that are involved in prostaglandin synthesis
unfortunately these enzymes are present in the mucosal layer of the stomach as well
so never eat panadol on an empty stomach
or suffer a consequence almost as bad as the effect of plunging hormone levels
if u still dunno wat i'm refering to
too bad
:)

i made two huge mistakes today
firstly, my essay was not balanced
secondly, i met mr wong in the staff room and told him abt my essay, and he told me that my essay is not balanced
then he said "if i were the marker i'll fail u"
just when i wanted to give him my uni reference form to fill in
i wanted to tear it up and throw it away like wat kelvin said
but i gave it to him anyway
for there is still hope
just pray.

.

i received a conditional offer from King's College London to study biomedical sciences!
just got the letter today
i do thank God :)
they have a beautiful chapel with daily services!!
and its in central London :)

to God be the glory

i wonder if bush or kerry will win
hehe
so exciting
results out at noon tmr :)
i hope bush wins
cos kerry is pro-stem cell research
and i'm anti-stem cell research
:)
but then again kerry may handle the iraq situation better cos bush's male ego will keep him from admitting that he made a mistake
and then i read one of Bush's past speeches over the radio last year
about stem cell research and how it will be controlled
and it was ended with God Bless America
wow
can never imagine PM Lee ending a national day rally with that
cos its not politically correct to do so in spore
what a pity
ah well
looking forward to noon tmr :)