To round out the online dating trifecta, I signed up for eHarmony - on of all days, Black Friday. Nothing says "I am thankful" like eating leftover turkey and answering questions about your favorite movies and political views in hopes of meeting a mate.

Of the three sites I tried, eHarmony was my least favorite. I wasn't much a fan of the super detailed questionnaire or the convoluted process and steps to "talk" to people. That being said, I have several friends who have met their boyfriends, fiances and husbands on eHarmony so I know it works.

Without boring you with the standard details, I "met" a guy named...Phil. We will call him Phil. 

The day...more like morning...after Phil got my number, my phone dings. When I say morning, I'm talking 5:58 a.m. 

If there is anything you need to know about Angie, it's that Angie isn't a morning person. So you better have a really good excuse for texting that early. Unless you are Bradley Cooper. He can text me anytime, day or night. 

The text was from Phil. This was his first attempt at starting a conversation with me that wasn't on eHarmony. The best part is that it wasn't a text at all. 

It was a selfie. 

Phil sent me a selfie in the back seat of a mini van of he and his niece, traveling with his family to Disney World.

I don't even know your last name, your birthday or where you went to college. But selfies, gotch'a covered. I responded, reluctantly. 

Throughout the week I received a series of pictures of Phil and his entire family while vacationing at the Happiest Place on Earth. To put it lightly, it was weird.

I didn't want to totally write this guy off just because he was camera happy before we even met face to face, but you have to draw the line somewhere. 

And that line was drawn in the form of a tea cup. 

That's right, I was sent a selfie of Phil in a tea cup.

Alice might have approved. But Angie didn't. 

That was the last I heard from Phil.

  

The Disappearing Act

Next up was Mike from Match (again, name changed). I eased in to the world of Match after Tinder was a complete & total flop. Mike's story isn't as much entertaining as it is just plain odd.

And so it starts...second verse, same as the first...Mike and I chatted, asked & answered the standard questions, then he asked me out. 

Our initial date was to meet at a brewery (I appreicated something different) and then go swing dancing - something he did twice a week. WOAH. For a first date, swing dancing with an almost total stranger was a bit...how do you say...totally and compleltely intemidating? At least for me. But, I obliged. 

Plans changed for this and that reason, and we ended up at the bar of a trendy hotel near downtown. I arrived first. He walked in and hugged me, much like Craig, but without the heavy scent of yesterday's wadded up flannel coated in air freshener. 

We sat at the bar, ate, drank and talked for close to three hours. Well, I drank. Quite the gentlman, Mike let me order first and I asked for my signature chardonnay; he ordered water. Woops. Oh well, we were sitting at a bar, so, when in...a hotel bar?

I felt things went really great. He drove me to my car, we exchanged numbers, and agreed we should do this again. Yes please.

I wasn't even home yet when I recieved a text that he heard a song we talked about on the radio and it made him think of me. In case you were curious, it was Neon Moon by Brooks and Dunn. FAVORITE. 

Anyway, We continued texting throughout the evening. I was giddy because I really enjoyed my time with this fella.

A few days went by that I didn't hear from him...which I guess is normal? I mean, what exactly really is normal these days with dating. Anyway, more time passes and still...cricketts. Like for real nothing. 

My birthday was ten or so days after the first (and only) date with Mike, and low and behold who did I get a birthday greeting from but the swing dancer himself. 

I was stunned, not only to hear form him, but also that he remembered my birthday admist all we talked about. I replied and initiated a conversation, one which he did not responded to. 

Mike disappeared, making his grand exit with those three little words every girl longs for: 

Happy Birthday, Angie.

The first guy I went out with was from Tinder. Say what you will about the app, for the 3 or so months I was on it, I found it amusing. The fact that it was completely free as well as required a very minimal profile in the "About" section were two strong selling points, thus why it was the first online dating avenue I turned down. 

Enter Craig - name changed to protect the innocent. Although he wasn't very innocent. 

Craig and I matched or whatever, based solely on a picture. We started "talking" (texting through Tinder) and I found him funny. We chatted about the usual...where we were both from, college (he didn't go), job (waiter), favorite past times (?). 

I was somewhat hesitant based on his credentials. Now, education is important to me, but it is not a deal breaker. College isn't for everyone, as he said maybe 6-8 times during the course of our date. And, I really don't care what you do for a living as long as you have drive & ambition.

Despite some doubt, I accepted a date after a few days of communicating. I was to meet him at 7 at a restaurant not too far from where I live. 

I waited outside for Craig. He showed up on time (I was early, I always am) and gave me a hug. A hug that hit me like a mac freakin' truck. Not because of his size, but because of the amount of original sent Febreeze he apparently doused himself in moments before. Oh my goodness, it was suffocating.

We sit down. Craig is anxious. Like, jumpy, can't sit still, I am afraid he's going to fall out of his chair anxious. Sure, all first dates are nerve racking, but this was almost over the top. 

Flash-forward two hours later - we order drinks and dinner and conversation goes well, but I'm not feeling it. Nice guy, but not for me. He spit a LOT when he talked. Also, Craig has been a waiter for the past 10 years. So back to that whole drive & ambition thing...

The deal was sealed when he said something along the lines of "yeah so when you meet my family...". 

In all the things to NOT say on a first date, meeting the family is probably ranked up there with "Is your friend in your profile pic single..." and "My ex always used to say...".

I saw Craig once more for a drink. I knew I was done after that. When he asked to see me a third time and take me golfing (ha!), I more or less said I didn't think we were in the same place. I thought that was a nice way to end things. 

Apparently not. 

A week later, I am running Saturday errands with Ann Claire at TJ Maxx. I am waiting at the front of the store while she pays and in walks Craig. Holy crap. I didn't think he saw me, but I left AC and bolted to the car anyway. 

Turns out, he did see me and he let me know in the creepiest way. I received a text. "Hey! Were you just in TJ Maxx? I know I saw you but didn't want to startle you." 

It didn't stop there. 

Later that same day, he sends me what was most definitely a fake message. "Hey! Can't wait to see you tonight. I'll pick you up around 6 or so?" immediately followed by a "Oh, sorry, that wasn't meant for you."

Are we 32 or 12? Who does that?

I thought for sure Craig would finally disappear, what with his hot date that night. But, no

I'm enjoying brunch at a cozy, quaint restaurant on the east side of town one winter Sunday. Read, winter. We went out in July. 

That night, I get a text from Craig asking if it was me he saw that day at this particular brunch spot. Again, he didn't "want to scare me by saying hi." 

Craig, I think we are all past the point of you scaring me. 

I didn't respond, and haven't heard from him since. 

Is this thing still on?

I can't imagine any of you are reading this after my three year hiatus, but, here I am. Chalk it up to social media making it quicker & easier to post those random moments that seem to be plotted along the road map that is my journey.

Recently, I've had a string of occurrences in my love life that were just down right ridiculous. I shared with friends, but never thought about writing them all out. 

Until now, that is. 

Let's back things up a little bit. I decided to do online dating a year or so go. There was no real reason that I didn't begin earlier than I did. It has worked for a number of my friends, even taking several of them down the aisle. For whatever reason, I was hesitant. Maybe I was too lazy to fill out all those questionnaires. Maybe I was fearful I would meet a mass murdered. Or maybe I thought I would get stalked at TJ Maxx. Which I did. 

So, for those still listening, the blog is coming back. Be patient as I recount these stories and try to pen as many details as I can. But trust me, they are coming, and I hope you enjoy reading them as much as I (almost) enjoyed living them. 

You can't make this stuff up. You just...can't.

short and sweet

These three things stole my heart this weekend.

Eric Church, Luke Bryan (whew! hothothot), and the best, most expensive ice cream I have ever had.

Not so Goodwill

It's been a while, friends... life has been good. No complaints. But also, nothing significant enough to write about... until now!

A while back, a Facebook "friend" posted that they had just returned something at the Dollar Store. I giggled, and then thought to myself - would I do that? Probably not. I love a deal. I use my coupons and almost never buy anything full price. But I don't know if I'd go as far as to take something back that cost me less than the gas it would take to get there.

Through my "thrifty"ness, I've also grown to love Goodwill, thrift stores and garage sales - more for the kitschy items mostly. I go from time to time, usually when I am bored - but my stop yesterday at Goodwill was not to buy, but to give. I had a bag of various items that I took to their drive-up donation center. As I was getting out of my car, a young teenage girl stopped me.

" 'Cuse me...my momma wants to see what's in your bag." I looked up to find a tall, slender woman in a maxi dress, wearing huge sunglasses and equally huge hoops. I looked further past her to see she had just stepped out of a silver Mercedes.

I was hesitant, and very confused. I opened up my bag to show her a mixture of scarves, cookbooks and picture frames that was my trash, and hopefully someone else's treasure. She reached her hands down in the bag, moved a few things around, but ultimately decided she wasn't interested.

"No, no I'm looking for notebooks."

At this point, I really didn't know what to say. What if I had a notebook... would she have taken it? Given the money to me? To Goodwill? Or offered money at all?

Was she going to Goodwill to shop for notebooks? Because I am pretty sure they are all of $1 at the CVS up the street. Brand spankin' new ones.

The whole scene, which was all of 60 seconds, left me completely baffled. I guess people that drive $60,000 luxury vehicles like their deal as much as the next person.

But please, don't take from charity.

my virtual closet

Online shopping is one of my guiltiest pleasures...even if it is just for fun and I know in the end, I'm too cheap to buy it anyway. Here are some of the things for spring that are currently waiting patiently in my virtual shopping bags.


stripes are so fun!



loving these colors...a great dress to wear to a wedding, out to dinner or on your beach vacation



a spring standard that you can take in to the fall with a burnt orange cardigan or scarf

i live in flats, and these bright orange ones will go with more than you think
cute weekend top that's easy on your wallet