Human evolution and music

http://www.economist.com/printedition/displayStory.cfm?Story_ID=12795510

***

http://kotaku.com/5120438/video-game-addict-is-a-real-sad-case

On video game addiction. I can empathize to some degree. The last part is really heartwarming. He loves her! Awwww!

Olive oil ice cream

My dad bought this Olive Oil spread thing which is like some sort of butter or margarine thing. So I took it out and showed it to my brother telling him it was vanilla ice cream, scooped some up with a spoon and he really put it in his mouth! Haha. But he spat it out the next moment.

And I don't feel so bad because he spat it out and I gave him chocolate the next moment although I'm sure the olive oil thing is much healthier than chocolate and he should've just ate it.

I Don't Care

I don't care what you think as long as it's about me

The best of us can find happiness in misery

***

The best is yet to be.

Happy end of 2008

Ok yes! I've finally mustered the balls to play Dead Space and I think I've gotten quite far into it already. Nearly 4 hours! And this game is shit scary man... Like really really weird stuff happens. Weird and scary stuff. Like when you're heading down this corridor and you see a shadow flash across and you turn around to look behind and you see nothing. The worst monster is that one that can't die. Gosh. Moving on...

***

Two songs really struck me today during service, the last church service of this year. I can't remember the first one but I know it was about thanksgiving and I was just looking back and thinking about everything that happened this year and how I have a lot to be thankful for so I'll just rattle off a few that I can think of now.

This year was like a year of revelation to me. I learnt a lot about life, love and people; lessons that were deeply palpable and learnt the hard way (I usually learn such things the hard way in any case). And I'm really thankful for all that. Like without everything happening happening this year, I wouldn't have learnt that if you're really bent on ignoring someone you really can. 

Another thing I learnt is that time heals. Just let it pass and it'll soon blow over, albeit superficially. And what the heck, the farther you are from that person or thing or event, in space and in time, the better it is.

I also learnt about human nature. How selfish, lustful, greedy and lazy people can be.

I learnt how not to put all your eggs in one basket. Never to just trust one person, or rely on just one person. In any case, it's best to just rely on yourself. It's best to just trust yourself. But of course, that's what I've been trying to do and that is one big mistake because I know I have to trust in God and seek strength and wisdom in Him and not rely on myself.

I also learnt how quickly people change their loyalties and love. I think it really goes to prove Machiavelli right, that people's love for others is incredibly fallible and it is only ruling by fear, through the fear of punishment in which the love for one's self takes precedence, then is it effective. People love themselves, that is a sure thing you can count on. I don't understand how adults in my adolescence used to tell us to love ourselves first. I mean seriously, if you don't love yourself, would you be living? Of course you love yourself! It's basic human survival instinct. People cut themselves and wallow in self-pity because they love themselves. They do it to get attention because they want people to recognize their weakness and pain and in doing so, they attempt to make themselves feel better therefore they actually love themselves!

In the same vein, I also learnt how people are quick to interpret things their own way and usually fail to recognize the true intention of others, the good ones anyway. The bad intentions are always quick to be noticed. The converse is hardly true. 

And of course, I am not exempt from my own critical analysis of humanity because I myself am human and bear these traits that I disparage of. At least I try to do something about it. 

But I digress.

I also believe that God has a purpose for making us meet the people we meet, make friends with the people we are friends with, encounter the shit we get stuck in. And I thank God for all those lessons and revelations.

I think 2008 will be the year I want to forget most but at the same time, I hardly should because it's an important reminder of the aforementioned themes and I think they'll really help in the future.

So it is also apt that the other song that impacted me was "Empower Me" and indeed, most pertinent next year, as I enter army. And as we all know, physical stuff isn't exactly my strength but hey, I think I can adapt. 

And if I die, hey, who knows? I just might be better off. (This is assuming that, and indeed a viable assumption, mortality significantly increases in the army; but then again I may be wrong)

Let's do this

So I've just started gaming only recently, well, more like a return really. I know I don't own that many games or have played that many to make my own "best of" list but I'll just try to make something up because I feel inspired to (just for the heck of it!).

Best Story:

Ok, I haven't finished that many games to begin with so I can't really talk about that many games and I don't own that many to begin with but I think that GTA IV has one of the best stories ever. It has all the nice little bits of dialogue and self-awareness, touches of ironies and parodies that I, as a Lit student, would appreciate. Thinking back on the other games I've finished like Halo 3, Gears of War 1 and 2, Assassin's Creed, I don't think their stories were any great - I can't even remember the ending of GoW 2! They were fine and engaging while things went along but GTA IV has a poignancy that most other games don't deliver.

Most Frustrating Experience:

I'll always remember the second last boss in Assassin's Creed where you're confronted by 10 Templars, super-sized, super mean bad guys that are incredibly hard to kill and when you kill all of them, the Templar BOSS comes along. I think it was compounded by my 5 hour marathon playing Assassin's Creed that ultimately got me fatigued and therefore more frustrated but that scenario was just incredibly tough and ridiculous.

Most Impressive Graphics:

GTA IV. When you're riding in the helicopter on a tour of Liberty City and you see the sun rise, it's rays reflecting and glittering off the realistic water in the river, you ponder about how far games have come to create such graphics and you never have to bother about watching the sun rise in real life. Besides that, the explosions are pretty awesome and all the shooting stuff. But I do miss the heads being shot off though.

Most Memorable Soundtrack:

World of Warcraft: Wrath of the Lich King. It's most memorable by virtue of playing so many times. But nevertheless, it's pretty great and epic sounding. Like you're going to be a hero and conquer vast lands and all that jazz. But at the same time, the soundtrack also has somber and poignant tunes that fit into the mood of certain landscapes - the Grizzly Hills score comes to mind.

Best Gameplay:

GTA IV. Again! I'm wondering why I don't play GTA IV enough but then I realize that it's because I can't due to it's highly offensive content. But GTA IV is incredibly realistic and each component of it's gameplay is deep and engaging. From the cars with each individual car having it's own feel to it, to the gunplay and the cover system, and all the random things you can do which makes the game feel very realistic.

Other contenders like Halo 3 and Gears of War are pretty fun in their own shooter right but there's really nothing memorable about it when it all boils down to aim, shoot, take cover.

Best Multiplayer:

I don't spend much time on Xbox Live! playing multiplayer games honestly. I think Left 4 Dead is pretty fun to play online but I don't have anyone else I know to play with. Call of Duty's multiplayer is pretty darn good too and it keeps you coming back for more with it's unlockables. But the best multiplayer to be had is definitely in Guitar Hero when you have real friends to play with. It's really a ball of fun to play as a band together. I guess everyone just tires of all the shooting after a while. Oh and intentionally omitted in this award is WoW.

Most fun RPG to play:

Final Fantasy Tactics Advance 2: Grimoire of the Rift. Yes, WoW is an MMORPG but is omitted in this category once again. It's pretty sad that I stopped playing FFTA2 once I got my Xbox. FFTA2 is the best tactical RPG that I'll ever play, considering that it's the ONLY one I've ever played but it's a HECK A LOT OF FUN. I SWEAR. What works for me is how many classes there are to play with and it keeps things very varied and interesting although it just boils down to the same core mechanics of elemental damage (fire, ice, earth, bla bla) and status effects (disabled, immobilized, bla bla). Nevertheless, very fun battles and I liked it a lot but never finished it, just like it's predecessor.

Oh well, it might as well be Best Nintendo DS game for me as well.

Best PSP game:

Ok shit. I've had my PSP for a long time now and bought many PSP games but never finished any of them. Except one: Marvel Ultimate Alliance. That one, I finished by virtue of it's story and variegated gameplay with all the different characters to play as - Iceman is fun :D I can't quite say the rest kept my attention. Notable mentions include Patapon which, despite the hype, I soon gave up on because of it's rather weak story. GTA on a PSP isn't very helpful either because of the way missions are structured although it's fun to cheat and just destroy the city. I think of all the consoles, the PSP is the weakest platform I own. 

I try to dissuade anyone from buying a PSP firstly because the games suck. If the control scheme isn't already a put off, the games that come out on it are very uninspiring and just plain boring (when you compare it to the stuff on the Xbox, PS3 and PC). Secondly, the other "swiss army knife" features like Mp3 and video are also lacking for me. Not only are they poorly implemented, it's hard to get your stuff onto it and the interface is poor. In my opinion, it's much better to just get an iPod. 

***

So that's about it! Not the most comprehensive and I doubt many people would actually care but since I like to talk about games for the heck of it and pretend I'm good at it, I shall do just that for my own personal gratification. 

Note to self:

Fallout 3

Prince of Persia

Braid

Castle Crashers

Future aspirations:

Buy a PS3 to play Resistance 2, Little Big Planet, Metal Gear Solid 4

Buy a Wii to play Super Smash Brothers Brawl, Mario Kart, No More Heroes

To get a life (then again, what life is is subjective)

Tested by Joy

Isn't it funny that only on my birthday, an unspoken truce is held. The next day, it's a no holds barred bitch fit.

***

I got my Guitar Hero drum kit back and on the paper, it was said to be "tested by Joy" which is this really cute little girl who plays computer games at the Newera office and is most probably the daughter of someone there. I swear she's damn cute!

Oh and I got my guitar controller back too! I asked about it and to my great astonishment, they offered me a 1 for 1 replacement! Sweet!

Right now, I'm extremely sceptical about the integrity of my controllers. I still think my yellow cymbal is broken.

***

Playing ANY song on Expert is highly hazardous and devastatingly detrimental and destructive (I like alliteration) to your guitar hero guitar controller.

That said, I got 99% on Expert for Misery Business! Much love! Oh and you should see The Kill on Expert.

You know, I just MIGHT consider picking up the guitar. I don't think I'm that good with drums because I don't have that natural rhythm thingy. But hey, while I'm thinking about it, I'm going to continue pretending to play an instrument by playing Guitar Hero and Rock Band.

That's the point of computer games man. Be happy that it's Guitar Hero inspiring me to do the real thing and not Grand Theft Auto - it's a game where you do a lot of criminal stuff like carjacking, killing cops and running over pedestrians.

***

Look on the bright side Adriel! You get to lose weight in army! Then you can be really hot and turn gay and make all the girls miserable! HAHAHAHHAHA - wtf!

***

Oh and I'm sorry. I'm not exactly into High School Musical now because of Guitar Hero so I'm now into a lot of rock songs as evident by my recent purchases of the Paramore Final Riot album and the new Fallout Boy album.

I'll just get to the point: 18

I would really really REALLY like to thank everyone I came into contact with yesterday and today (today being the 26th) for making my Christmas/Birthday wish come true! Yaay! Thank you all so much! I really haven't felt truly happy for a while now so yes, I really appreciate it and it means a lot!

Ok, so, human nature being greedy and all, I still have two more wishes: for more acne to clear up soon and for more guitar hero controllers to come back soon!

Special thanks to all these people:

Yihui (for the awesomenest birthday cake EVAR!!!! THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!)

Justin

Ying En

Si En

Yong En

Ian

Issac

Charmaine

Yifang

Ben Seow

Jeremy Pan

Barnabas

Marcus Ng

Marcus Loh

Samuel

Reldon

Linette

Michelle

John Seah

Ezra Ho

Jeremy Ho

Jeremy Wee

Amos Wee

Keith Oh

Elyssa Oh

Stef Oh

Daryl

Grace

Yvonne

Ming En

Hokes

Wayne

Daryl Tan

Rebecca Chow

Nanda

Diana

Rhoda

David Tay

Qinxu

Everyone who was in church and at Linette's party

AND MANY MANY MORE... (list updated as of 1am, 26/12)

Sorry if I didn't mention your name; it's merely a failure of my memory and I assure you your efforts are greatly appreciated!

Oh and I think it's because of the alcohol too.

YES! Now that I can officially drink, let's go clubbing and get high and drunk and get laid and wake up the next morning not knowing what the hell happened! HAHAHAHAHHA!

Yes yes, I'm learning to live in the present :) Yes, time heals. Thank God for that. And yes, I'm greedy. Avaricious. But never mind. I'm thankful for everything that I already have. Amen! :)

Oh and I apologize if it seemed that I was being insolent or unappreciative but I really really did, I'm just too shy to show it :P 

Thanks everyone! (:

EDIT - 

Update to the list:

Nanda

Debbie

Rebecca

Gabbie

Lucille

Xavier

Jas

Sonia

Leanne

Lucille

Yay! Thanks for the surprise at Astons. I can't believe I fell for another one another year, haha! And okay, what the hell. Sharpay Sing-Together doll? PUPPY IN MY POCKET!? A heart wind chime!? Man.... What a legacy...

Before it's over

Unfinished games:

Xbox 360 - 

Guitar Hero World Tour (drums, guitar, bass, vocals careers)

Rock Band (drums, guitar, bass, vocals careers)

Call of Duty: World at War

Left 4 Dead (I haven't played the remaining missions)

Dead Space (I just started it today and this shit is DAMN SCARY)

Burnout Paradise

GTA IV

PC - 

World of Warcraft: WotLK (reach 80 that is)

PSP -

All the games I own, except Marvel Ultimate Alliance which I've finished :)

Nintendo DS -

All the games I own too: I haven't even finished Pokemon! Shame shame... And I thought I would finish Final Fantasy Tactics Advance 2 because it was so fun.

Man, how can I NOT be busy?

The Cleft

The Cleft by Doris Lessing is the winner of the nobel prize for Literature 2007. It's pretty damn boring.

When I first picked it up, I read the back and it was something to do with a female-only society and how it is thrown into disarray when a male child is born. Immediately, I thought it'd be about gender politics and power plays as in Handmaid's Tale but this turned out to be speculative creationist fiction where it talks about how society and humanity came to be with hints of evolution but ironically, smacks Darwinism in the face because it is founded on the premise of females coming first.

Having read The Time Traveler's Wife prior to this, the profound lack of characters contrasts against TTTW's strong emphasis and focus on the two main characters and that makes the lack of characterization one of The Cleft's weakest point. Sure the whole issue of ambiguity could be used for effect and this is one ambiguous book in time ("ages ago"), space ("island?") and in characters who are narrated from an extremely removed, detached and anonymous historian perspective, relating recorded "history". 

For the most part, the novel has to do with gender issues, of which sex is copiously dealt with, of the interdependence (albeit this comes much later), and the disparate psychologies of both sexes. It seems to reinforce certain gender stereotypes: females are caring and passive, males are bold and ambitious. But at the same time, it comes across as really extreme such as how the females are the bastions of rationality, always drawing males back down to earth from their lofty ambitions, while males are the crazy and irrational ones, and this is one issue that I found rather contentious because of it's speciousness.

Interspersed in-between the "story" is the historian's account of certain parts his life and how it relates to this male-female dichotomy. While entertaining at first, I slowly tired of it because it added even more minor "characters" that had really no bearing on the story or did much to reinforce the themes of the novel but just slowed down the already slow and mundane pace of the novel. The historian's voice is also made apparent as he constantly injects his own questions, questioning certain ideas and concepts that we "take for granted", while sometimes exalting his own people's (Roman) reputation and overdoing certain things. To reinforce the idea of the males' ambition and lack of care, as illustrated in a male-female conversation where the female begs, "Don't you care (for us)?", the historian goes on to inject that many many times until it becomes really irritating and for a moment I thought that was the desired effect but I'm not sure.

The novel does make certain interesting statements about the human condition and of the gender divide. But the lack of characters, too distant and ambiguous a perspective, a lack of emotional or thematic engagement, and just plain uninteresting events make this one of the most unmemorable novels I've read.

But hey, that's my opinion. The nobel prize people think it's worthy of their prize!

Righto

Lambast me for being indirect, inertly subtle and adamantly clandestine but I refuse to budge. I refuse to be extricated from my drunken stupor, living a life that is trying to get away from Life, at least in the past, and waiting until future Life smacks me in the face and then I'll realize OH-MOTHER-****ING-SHIT! and be off and away and be so busy until I realize that the hangover is more severe than I thought but hey! What the heck, that's how much it sucks, the reason why I drink.

Ok, all this probably just didn't make any sense to you. Hell, I bet the first sentence was a put off already. Who cares? What's the point anyway? I don't need you. Just let me swim in the other pool, alone, playing WoW, Xbox, reading, and going out, albeit selectively. I've not much time anyway.

Kudos if you understand any of this. Whatever.

Just what the doctor ordered

Antibiotics, more cetaphil, more pimple cream. Oh yes, the best part: stay out of the sun.

Lost and Found

I realize that I'm all alone in this one.

No I'm not. Not really. There is "someone". And just like all the other "ones", I need to take the effort. Too bad it's not my forte.

***

My hat smells of honey. It's all good.

Shotgunning zombies

I'm kidding myself when I thought that I didn't have enough games and went to buy Left 4 Dead. Or maybe after buying L4D and Dead Space did I realize that I won't have enough time to play them all; I'm still not finished with GTAIV. I should be playing Gears of War 2 online too. And omigosh, Guitar Hero and Rock Band? I really do have a lot of games and now that I have Left 4 Dead, playing online is much more attractive. Speaking of which, I DID play L4D online this afternoon.

Basically, L4D is a 4 player cooperative zombie killing game where you're a zombie survivor and you're trying to make it from one safehouse to another. It's a lot more fun online especially when you're playing with friends. And when you play as the Special zombies it get's all the more fun - there's one zombie which lets you barf on others which attracts swarms of zombies and I have to add that I got the achievement for vomiting on the ENTIRE team as the Boomer. But because it's a public game, there are some assholes that just ruin your fun like team-killers and people who just solo it out, running all the way to the end and leaving you in the dust. Thankfully, there's an option to kick them.

I really do want to play GTAIV but the only time I can play is really during the day, or maybe late at night when my parents are either at work or asleep. 

Then there's WoW which I've been playing too and trying to get to level 80. I recently specced Demonology and got the Felguard! I'm actually damn sad I'm no longer affliction (I've been affliction forever) and I lost A LOT of my DoTs :( Demonology is fine and all, seems a bit more consistent although I don't see how it's any more survivable than affliction (with affliction, you actually have Haunt!) Oh and Metamorphosis, Demon Form, is OVERRATED! The good use I've found for it is to AoE grind - go into demon form and use that immolation aura which kills things really fast. I can't help but compare it to AoE grinding as Affliction except that it is on a cool down and slightly faster but as affliction, I actually end up with near full health and mana. Never mind, I'll go back to Affliction when they fix Haunt.

So anyway, respeccing has made things a bit more interesting but the tedium of grinding and questing still exists. Certain quests are mildly more interesting than others but it doesn't diminish what it essentially is - kill X amount of stuff, collect Y amount of stuff, etc. Thank goodness for Questhelper.

***

Going back to school (UGH!) tomorrow to "certify" the documents I have to send in for the PSC scholarship. I completed the online application already and wrote an essay of 602 words!

Another one bites the dust

It's been months and my acne just won't go away. I've used all sorts of creams and tea tree oil and it just won't go away! What am I? PMS-ing?

***

Brought my Guitar Hero controller back to Software Boutique. The guy definitely recognizes me. I feel bad for inconveniencing them. I really really do. I feel bad for inconveniencing whoever had to encounter my broken guitar controller and someone who has been deprived of a chance to play because of it. But hey, I've been the most inconvenienced by this. Oh well, at least I made it up to them by buying Left 4 Dead and Dead Space from Software Boutique. I know they secretly bitch about me. I am such a girl.

I have 13 Xbox 360 games. I have owned my 360 for less than 4 months. 13/3, that's about an average of 3 or 4 games I buy a month. And that is excluding controllers and accessories and Xbox Live! Wow.

***

Some wise guy might say, "Live for the moment". But what moment are we living for? How can we be sure that the moment will come, whatever moment it is. Don't live for the future.

I say, "Live in the moment". Live in the present. That's what I need to do. Unencumbered by the past, ignorant of the uncertainty and insecurity of the future. The present is the surest thing you'll know. The present doesn't care about the past. Too bad Past, Present and Future are all inextricably linked.

It's been so Everlong

What a year this has been. I hope I forget about it soon.

***

I've actually managed to get Rock Band, a most insane feat considering that after scouring Funan no single retailer stocked Rock Band the game, at Parkway just yesterday and I was giving up hope of ever buying Rock Band but LO! I've found it! I had no qualms about picking it up when I saw it.

So now that I've actually played both Guitar Hero World Tour and Rock Band, I can sort of make a comparison between the two although it'd be more accurate to compare Rock Band 2 with GHWT.

I haven't delved much into the career so the comparisons are mainly regarding presentation. The first thing I noticed is that hammer ons and pull offs are much harder to nail because in Guitar Hero, they are glowing white gems but in Rock Band, they are notes of the same colour but just slightly smaller in size. It's noticeable enough for the most part but when things are going really fast, it can be quite difficult to distinguish. 

It also seems that it's much easier to fail a song than in Guitar Hero even though you can "save" band members. The "crowd meter" in RB which is akin to GH's "rock meter" is basically your life bar, how many notes you are allowed to miss before you fail the song. Rock Band seems a BIT unforgiving at this. And it also feels that you have to be more accurate in hitting the notes in RB whereas GH is more forgiving and loose, requiring less precision.

Visually, both GH and RB have their own distinct styles. RB favours more realistic character models while GH favours more outlandish and cartoony characters. I don't know if it's just me but in RB, there seems to be some grainy effect layered on the background. GH's backgrounds are also crazier what with concerts on an aircraft carrier versus RB's a bit more mundane backgrounds.

The presentation of vocals also seems much better in GHWT. In GH, the pitch of your song is tracked by this ball and leaves a sort of burning mark on the pitch line as it goes across. In RB, you get this arrow that moves vertically corresponding with your pitch but it leaves no visible indication of how well you scored each phrase. The only way to know is the multiplier circle but you have to look below just to see it and it's difficult to keep track of it while trying to sing the lyrics.

That's all I can think of now. I really wonder who will actually care to read that. Oh well. Write for my own amusement and pretense.

Tease me twice

Are happiness and knowledge mutually exclusive?

Maybe not but it's certainly tough to reconcile.

So I can breathe you in

I am out of touch with the world. I am in touch with no one.

***

Some people scorn gamers, choosing to spend their time in a virtual world, in something that is intangible, superficial, specious, spurious.

Going into society is also like a game. You play a new character, become someone else. But in this game, there are no respawns, no resets, no turning back. 

This so called reality.

I'm on the bleachers

I think he does not know that I know more than he thinks I know.

It takes two hands to clap. I think he's ready to clap.

But this hand is hiding behind my back.

Misery business

FUCK! MY GUITAR IS FUCKED UP TOO!

WON'T ANYTHING JUST WORK FOR ONCE!

***

I am so sick of everything breaking down.

No. It was always there. I just see it now.

"Man does, woman is"

"The Time Traveller's Wife" is quite understandably an award-winner. It's not my staple genre of sci-fi and fantasy yet, like Atwood's "The Blind Assassin", it's an immensely captivating tale of human emotion, desire, nature, history, and ultimately, love. 

The genre of TTW is debatable. The setting is realistic yet the fundamental premise of the book is about this man who goes against the laws of Time as he struggles to stay grounded in love and in time and space. The author tries to make it as realistic as possible, reasoning that his time traveling capabilities are a product of a genetic deformity that makes the genre something like science fiction but whatever it is, the romance is apparent. It's romance, in realism, based on a science fiction premise.

The strongest feature of the novel is undoubtedly the two main characters', Henry and Clare, relationship. Told in a dual first-person narrative, the juxtaposition is brilliant in conveying the emotions and burdens both sides share and the love between both of them becomes that much effusive and poignant. Making the characters even more interesting is their careers and professions as artists and the author goes to great lengths to exposit on Clare's sculptures and the thoughts that go through her head as she creates her pieces. Henry is a librarian and fluent in literature and the author uses that literary background, meshing intertextuality and poetry to create deeper beauty and emotion in the relationship.

Another salient feature is the philosophical theme of fate or predestination. Even with Henry defying the laws of nature, he cannot change things in history or in the present or in the future. He recognizes that certain things are destined to happen. With this in mind, the story of two lovers is given that much more weight as they try to keep their love intact amidst the things that are occur which are beyond their control, despairing and losing hope but at the same time, the novel does seem to suggest that life is fair and life does seem to give them hope and joy when it robs them of it the previous, or next, moment.

The language is extremely powerful and achieves a verisimilitude of emotions, of differing ages, of differing races and socio-economic backgrounds. There were many times where I found myself genuinely sanguine and smiling, and others when I was on the verge of tears, absolutely wishing these characters a better lot in life.

There's more I could say; if only I had like someone to talk to. I wish I had Pscyhe ("Ulalume", Edgar Allan Poe).

***

Falling in love is like falling into a pit. It's that feeling of suspension, of bated breath, of your heart in your mouth, of time stopping and everything in front of you becomes clear, focused, understood, every detail assimilated, as you try and try to stay grounded. 

It's all good when someone is falling with you too so you have someone to hold on to and absorb her image in your state of newfound delirium. It becomes fun.

But if you're all alone, thank God for the ground, that cold, hard, painful ground that smacks into you and shatters all your bones, shatters you into tiny fragments, sending shockwaves and convulsions into your body and brain that breaks you. But it's good. Because you survive, you pick up the pieces and you're gone. 

And now you know where not to step.

I should know better than to hope or expect.

***

I wish it were true, that I had really left for good.

But the next best thing is within grasp if I get some scholarship and fly away on the sly; a quiet departure: Joy.

Sensitivity issues

I called Software Boutique regarding my unresponsive drum kit and the first part was really embarrassing.

*Ring ring...*

"Hello? Gamescore?"

"Uh... No... This is Software Boutique."

"OH YEAH! RIGHT! YEAH! Software Boutique!"

MEGA FAIL.

After I got over that little boo-boo, I told the dude about my problem and he said that I'll have to bring it back to them so they can send it to the supplier and I have to wait for an INDEFINITE period while they check to see if anything is wrong before they send it back to me. And there's no one-to-one exchange. Gosh.

***

I'm sorry. If only you could understand but I don't think you do. Maybe not now. Maybe later. Maybe not ever. But it's okay. I'll be gone by then. And so will you.

We got to hold to what we got

Dammit. My yellow and orange cymbals are unresponsive. Need to whack harder.

Otherwise, it still works and I'm getting used to playing the drums and keeping the beat. It really works your biceps!

Sage is not just an herb

Dear friends,

In this period of shopping for prom dresses, making up, and doing hairs, let us remember that clothes cannot hide what is truly inside.

***

I love you like a fat kid loves cake.

I like that.

Rock on!

Playing the drums is a HECK OF A LOT TOUGHER THAN IT LOOKS. Especially coordinating your foot with the bass kick with all the notes flying around. Insane stuff.

And I can't sing too loudly because I'm shy.

Storage for all the hardware is a bitch.

Maybe I'm wrong

As are over. Huge sigh of relief. But I can hardly play now because I have to wait to bloody get into the server for WoW. Playing now seems so light, so trivial. It feels. Pathetic. It lacks the wrongness, the burden of studying over the past week. And now that it seems so free, to play and everything, I just can't help but feel that playing has no gratification at all. It's like the allure of doing something wrong simply because it's wrong. It's missing that. 

So right now, I'm in a liminal world. I'm waiting to buy Guitar hero later. I'm waiting for army. I'm in a stage of transition and I feel floaty and amorphous and confused.

***

Lit was okay. But I'm scared. I did the drama for unseen and I was quite glad I got the parody, the irony, among other things. I even managed to cross refer to BNW.

I did the comparison between HMT and BNW for the question about messages and I did the Poe question about the evocation of horror. The former was tough. Not in the sense that I didn't know what to write but just that there were so many things to write, I was at a lost at choosing because I wanted to discussing all of them. Also, I think I went too much into description so maybe I failed at that part and that's what I'm scared of. Same for the Poe question. I'm really afraid I went too much into description. I can only cross my fingers.

Now that As are over, I think I want it back because I know life will throw other shit at me. Thanks.

Eat my shit

Love conquers all.

Utter bullshit.

You know what does?

Money.

And bombs. 

Really big ones.

EDIT  - 

People have proved me right repeatedly: in time, everything is forgotten. Which is good! Very good indeed.

I smell liberation

Handmaid's Tale in two days. Yes! Lit can be so interesting at times, studying the novel and going into the intricacies, the details, the subtext, the underlying meanings and the puns that Atwood plays. Oh and how enlightening York notes (as is Sparknotes and Cliffnotes) are!

I like HMT because of the attention to language, the self-conscious narrator (oh my gosh my double!), and the whole feminist and gender issue. Huxley is good too; full of ideas and wit but quite a few of the jokes are lost on me (the allusions in particular) and it lacks the emotion and the wordplay Atwood brings (Mmm, Pen is envy). So yes, after reading the current novels I have, I think I'll go find Oryx and Crake. I think by then I'll be in army and I'll be really weird because I won't be playing a PSP.

Yes yes! Two more days to sweet sweet liberation. It's not so much about getting out of the torture of school and studying but it's rather giving me the choice to do what I want. It's freedom to do what I want and freedom from a structured and systematic life. Then again, so much choice can be pernicious but putting things into context when I'll be in the army for the next 2 years and no life can be any more structured and regimental than that, I think I should exploit the freedom I'll be getting over the next month or so.

And yes! It really marks the end of JC life too and I won't be having to go back - WAIT! I still have to go back to collect results and I have some PSC scholarship briefing thing thing like this Wednesday - ROLLS EYES IMMENSELY! BAH! Ok ok, do I really want to forget the past 2 years? I'll leave that unanswered for now.

I think I should be pretty occupied for the rest of my holidays. I have WoW, the ENDLESS time sink, I have Gears of War 2 to complete, I have GTA IV, and then I'll be getting Guitar Hero World Tour. I sure will be pretty busy!

Yep, I think that answers the question.

***

In other news: *!@$*!$!!! DAMN CUTE!!!!!!

Globalization

Having a relationship, as in boyfriend-girlfriend, is like signing a Free Trade Agreement (FTA). You get a greater variety of goods, you get more consumer surplus and you get a larger market to sell to - you benefit and so does the other person. But the bad thing about it is that it causes trade diversion. And when you have trade diversion, it means you are going against the Principle of Comparative Advantage and as a result, globalization is impaired and this causes uneven development.

In short, spread the love around and "globalize" - everyone is everyone else.

LG

What do you trust? Your sense? People? Because what you trust determines the truth. And the precedent creates logic. Too bad people cannot always be trusted. Can your sense then be trusted?

***

Maybe she's right. Maybe I'm simple and easy to read. Maybe the complexity is actually simple and I'm just deluding myself. How well do you know me? How well do I know myself?

***

Life is good. Without you. And the questions you inundate me with.

Life is good. When the complexities of life become virtual. When the concerns include casting spells to save your butt and doing quests. When the complexities are finite and that much attainable, Life becomes simple.

Escapism.

I am not what I am

The only thing good about broad shoulders is blocking rude people on trains who try to barge in without letting others alight first. And hugging people.

Other than that, I don't like being big and bulky and broad and whatever.

***

Let's go on a cruise! Let's go to the zoo! Let's go to Sentosa! Let's go play paintball! Let's go play Laser Tag! Wouldn't it be fun to go to prom as a class!

Maybe if I become what I seem to be, it would be.

Fenders and Les Paul and Stratocaster

So here's the thing. It seems that multiple sources seem to support that Xbox 360 instruments from Rock Band 1/2 and Guitar Hero World Tour are all cross-compatible! Which is a very good thing because it means that I can buy GHWT hardware and buy Rock Band software! Very nice - NAICE!

The sad thing is that PS3 and Wii consoles aren't confirmed... Hmmm... So anyway, who wants to come to my house and play some Rock Band and Guitar Hero :D

It's just a game!

Yay! So econs and human geog are over. Econs essays were okay but I was quite disappointed the more "comfortable" stuff (like inflation bla bla) didn't come out but the macro focused on a lot of government policies stuff which was cool! The best part was that half the questions were 25 marks :) I was also quite disappointed the elasticity kind of question didn't come out - those "how relevant is elasticity of bla bla bla" types, and I ended up doing firms and market structure. 

Case study was quite bad honestly. I got FOOLED!!!! BASKET! IT WAS APPRECIATING NOT DEPRECIATING! I GOT FOOLED BY THE QUESTION!!!! X.X Dammnit, I fell for it before but I guess I was just too careless or over confident or something. It was 1 mark anyway. I thought case study was tougher than usual and I'm really scared! I have good reason to believe that I will NOT get an A, I swear...

Human Geog was quite okay! Like Mr Tay spotted a lot of questions and my "pet" topics came out like Uneven Development for globalisation, Decentralisation for Urban, and policies for Population but I did the former 2 in the end. But even then, I still have good reason to believe that I will not get an A. Like seriously. So at this point in time, I'm just not expecting much at all....

***

Today's the World of Warcraft: Wrath of the Lich King (WotLK) launch event and I didn't quite care for it until I had to bring my brother, who preordered it while I did not, to the launch event so he could collect his. So fine. How bad could it be? Just go to Clarke Quay, find the place, collect it and you're done! Just like Burning Crusade last year or 2 years ago!

BUT BLOODY BASKET *INSERT MORE CURSES AND SWEARS HERE*!!!!! It was really crowded when we got to the building - some Game Haven SAFRA club place, and the front crowd really really belied the true extent of its popularity. From the front, we followed the queue which snaked several blocks and past one or two streets then it went into this alleyway and we thought that the back of the queue was there but no! It went behind that alley, behind ANOTHER building and out to the side of the main road! Ok, in short, it was MOTHER*#!%*#!%ING long - at least 1 kilometer. 

The worst part is that my brother actually wanted to queue. That's not the worst part. The worst part is that I, I *bold, italics, underline, EXCLAMATION MARKS* HAD TO QUEUE WITH HIM. FOR NOTHING! And my gosh, he still had the cheek to ask me to go buy him a drink! So anyway, met Cherie and her sister, found out that you could actually go to the front and just BUY a copy directly and that was what I tried, at first, to do. 

Got to the front counter, asked to buy a copy, found out that it was only sold in "special" bloody bundles and the cheapest was 120. WotLK is 70 bucks and included in the bundle is the 60 day prepaid card. It's basically buying the two together and you don't get any discount but get stupid paraphernalia and I didn't even want ANY of it in the first place! AUGH! Then I only had 70 bucks. Borrowed 50 from Cherie. Finally bought it and got the shit out of that place. OH AND THE BEST PART IS THAT MY BROTHER FORGOT TO BRING HIS EZLINK CARD. WHAT KINDA IDIOT FORGETS TO BRING HIS EZLINK CARD! */facepalm a million times* Never mind, I made him pay for his own trips. 

Hey, I'm not all that bad okay. I even treated him to Macdonalds and gave him all the premiums. Ok, but I took the sticker. But he gets the mousepad and poster!

So now, I have a game that I don't even want (I'm still at bloody level 57, I haven't even gotten into the previous expansion to begin with!). And I'm 120 bucks poorer. And I have GTA IV and Gears of War 2 to finish. Oh and by the way, Gears of War 2 online is damn good! And the people on Halo 3 are ****ing gay. Just gay.

***

Trudging on and on in WoW. So so boring. ZAMG!!!!!

Ok but at least I mix it up by improving my professions and make potions. But then herbs are so damn lucrative now, making herbs have a damn high opportunity cost.

HAH! Take that Brother Paul! I STILL REMEMBER MY STUFF! Who said we'll forget everything after exams are over.... Did you know real income in 20 Sub-Saharan African nations have fallen over the past 20 years?

Yeah whatever.

Soon

I want to eat a Carl's Jr Quadruple Portobello Mushroom Burger, followed by a Quadruple Stacker, followed by a Mega Mac and a Mega McSpicy, and down it with a MEGA MILKSHAKE! Haha okay they don't have that last one yet but I'll make it happen :D

Most dismal

I a recent Straits Times article, it was reported that your chances of surviving a heart attack outside of hospital is 2.7%. Much of this is attributed to the delays the ambulance experiences on its way to the victim's domicile. One of the biggest factor is Singaporeans' reluctance to give way to the ambulance or to break certain traffic rules so that the ambulance can pass. People even refuse to give way to paramedics as they enter the lifts.

Today, I had the chance to empirically observe and confirm such a nature in our average Singaporean, Ahmad the Security Guard (just like Joe the Plumber!). Ahmad is hardworking and diligent. He locks the gates on time and keeps vigilant watch over the main entrance, taking as little "tau huay" and toilet breaks as possible. He loves his boss. In fact, he loves his boss so much that every word his boss utter is taken to be the gospel truth and he cannot but obsequiously follow his boss' orders.

It just so happened that one little girl had the fortune (misfortune really) to meet said security guard, being locked outside the school back gate for over half an hour in the frigid and unrelenting rain while Ahmad stands behind the gate, blatantly and obstinately refusing to open the gate to let his poor girl in. Further exacerbating her misfortune is the fact that she had a physics exam later in the afternoon and undoubtedly such dismal conditions would affect her physical and mental state thereby deteriorating her condition to take an exam.

Upon hearing such news, this writer was indignantly incensed and affronted by such inflexibility and narrow-mindedness that he could not help but compare Ahmad to an Epsilon Semi-Moron whose sole function was to perform basic and simple orders, religiously adhering to them regardless of situation or consequence like a robot. Indeed, as Singaporeans lament the mechanization and automation of jobs, we have to reflect on why said robots are taking over some of our jobs and it is in our onus to best these interlopers instead of complaining and refusing to be more productive. 

What makes us human is our ability to reason and react to changing circumstances. Clearly, some of the people in our society belong to the category of subhumans and we should not mourn or sympathize with such people whose jobs can so easily be replaced by non-living things. 

Friend with benefits

She was the sex of my prime.

My cold body she aroused,

caressed its skin with her angelic breath,

tingling the nerves,

teasing and flirting -

I screamed for more.

She's all over me,

effortlessly working me up into a sweat,

the breathing gets harder, louder;

I don't want to stop,

this rhythm too good to ignore.

Passion overflowing,

love, lust, carnal sin or pleasure.

it doesn't matter;

what I see is a sepia photograph

where we're both on the floor.

And I remember then

the inevitable climax

moaning in unadulterated pleasure

begging her not to stop;

but it had to end.

Alas, a flaccid penis remains, reminds me

of what could be is now nevermore.

Mister B. Gone

The world would be a prettier place if skin care products did as they advertised!

Bloody Body Shop... Cheat my money...

***

I think I have to update my sidebar again because I just finished Mister B. Gone within like 3 days. It's not a very thick book so it's no big deal. It's actually quite thin and cost 21 bucks which I feel is so not worth it for it's size but hey, size does not matter right?

Mister B. Gone is by Clive Barker, an author renowned for horror and thriller tales. It's in a second-person narrative where the narrator is ostensibly a demon trapped in the very book you are reading and he tells a story of demons, angels and mankind and how he finally came to be in the book you read.

The book starts out with him talking to you in a monologue, begging you to burn the book and it's quite amusing to see him try to reach out to you and he tries to guess what you're thinking. Many times over, he threatens to slit your throat and do all sorts of bad things while he reluctantly tells his story.

The plot of the story isn't very convoluted but there's a deep sense of supernatural undertones and it evolves into a full blown clash by the end of the novel in what culminates in a conflict between heaven and hell. 

Being set back in like the 14th century makes it kind of obscure but it adds a touch of realism to it because demons live for a really long time (and the narrator reminds you of that), and the events are so human that the realism sort of becomes translated to the present by virtue of the past.

Best of all, the novel is psychologically disturbing on many levels. The constant appeals for mercy to burn the book, the death threats, the promises he makes, the constant ruminations of the demon serve to create a very believable character as he claims to psycho-analyze you as you turn the page. At the same time, he cruelties and torment he wantonly dishes out to all sorts of people really makes you cringe in disgust. Yet at the same time, the demon can be remarkably human and yearn for love.

There's certainly a good amount of intrigue and obscurity to keep you going and the demon's constant monologue to you really adds a new dimension to the narrative as you keep on reading, wondering what your true motivations are and whether the demon's accusations are really true. There's a great degree of meta-textuality and for anybody needing an explanation, and example, of what meta-textuality is all about, this book is one heck of a good example. Because many times, I rolled my eyes are the author's attempts to try and guess my thoughts but it gets really scary when you find yourself reminding that the book is just fiction and not a real character you're telling with since it all seems very believable.

I wished I spent more time on it because I suffer from regular pangs of consciousness that I am not studying so I basically try to rush through the book (there were times where I really hated reading the monologues) so I could try and study (whatever I can of it), and all this did mar the experience, preventing me from appreciating a deeper level of understanding and insight into the novel. Reminds me of the 'pancake phenomenon'.

My 3 other novels are the Time Traveller's Wife, a Warhammer book titled Genevieve, and Cleft which is a feminist utopia/dystopia thing. I was rather apprehensive about Salman Rushdie's novels, Midnight Children in particular, since they were about little kids growing up and partly maybe because I'm a little racist or something (his characters are Indian - I wonder if Midnight is supposed to be ironic) but I'm just really sick of this whole bildungsroman thing (that is a "coming of age" narrative) especially with Great Expectations (oh gosh...) and the whole "Sing to the Dawn" ad campaign of which the pathetic trailers air incessantly on TV - the whole quality of it just earned my scorn because the animation was really bad and the premise of it is extremely cliche and uninspiring.

WOW. That was one heck of a long sentence. I talk too much sometimes. Not that it matters since I'm only one listening.

***

I blog so often, I ought to use an RSS feed burner or something. It really goes to show how much and how deep I think. Read my blog for a comprehensive character profile of ME! But I know that nobody quite cares...

Cost and efficiency

Ok so the papers so far have been pretty *bleep*ed up so far and they test a lot of OBSCURE topics and content, some of which we never knew existed. So maybe for econs, they're going to test like all those teeny weeny bits like the types of costs involved in a firm's production like your AVC and TVC and AC AND MC and maybe you're supposed to know how to draw each of the individual curves. And maybe they'll test all the little little behavioural theories of a firm that people typically omit. So yes, better learn all that.

Simply wtf

K cannot be found. It's impossible! K just CANNOT be found!

H1 math was just pure and simple WTF. In EVERY sense and connotation of everyone's favourite expression in internet parlance. 

Stuff that we've never learnt of before came out. Stuff that just cannot be solved came out. Stuff that we've never seen before came out. Not that there's anything wrong with that last one per se because it adds a bit of a challenge and that is what the exam is supposed to be providing which was fine with certain questions like combining samples together. But when you are not quite sure how to do a certain question because there are multiple ways of doing it and each yields different answers, there is a serious problem there now isn't it?

I'm not flaming the examiners but maybe perhaps there is a flaw in the education system because everyone of us felt rather unprepared for such things. Geog wasn't THAT bad. I mean, sure certain things we've never seen before came out and it wasn't too far from what we knew, at least it was still grounded in our facts and content. But when stuff which you cannot even do, or do not even have the method to solve a question, it becomes a tad unfair isn't it?

Ok, now at the very least, I know not to be expecting what I've been expecting previous rounds of exam. Expect the unexpected. And I forget that philosophy once again.

***

Oh, remember I said that I wished that GP would've been set later so there'd be more to talk about after the U.S. Presidential Election? Well, I rescind after knowing how crappy the essay topics were.

In love with a fool

Investments 101: Never put all your eggs in one basket.

Good advice. I learnt from that mistake.

I now live for Guitar Hero World Tour, World of Warcraft, Fallout 3, Far Cry 2, Fable 2, Diablo 3, Starcraft 2 and more.

Since I'm already screwed here's a message to you...

I better start downplaying my hopes and expectations.

GP: C

Geog: C

Imagine

"Imagine having everything we ever dreamed!" - Sharpay. Much <3.

***

After tomorrow, I can clear my cabinets of the 3 thickest sets of notes I have. Nearly cathartic. 

CLB is over!

It's strange that there is a lack of euphoria over the fact that CLB is done and over with (Listening compre two weeks from now non-withstanding). From today onwards (again, listening compre non-withstanding), I will NEVER HAVE TO STUDY CHINESE EVER AGAIN!!!

I HOPE.

I REALLY DO HOPE.

REALLY!

Because that was what I thought last year but to my utmost consternation, alas, but no.

I did the letter writing about telling your friend about some memorable event that happened recently. Being so vague, I could actually fit the plot of my prelim essay into it. So I basically talked about how I studied hard for Chinese, my friend tries to cheat, we end up getting caught, my friend accuses me of the one cheating when I didn't want to, I complain about feeling betrayed and how I will never trust people so easily again. I wrote like 3 pages and I even threw in some idioms! Yay!

The second part was actually quite hard. The passages were pretty understandable but the choices were difficult to understand and very tricky. Like it always boiled down to two answers which were very close. And that is assuming I even know how to read the options.

So yay! I can throw away my CLB books! AND READ MY PREVIOUS POST!

Essential reading

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.

***

This is the reason why the new media and citizen journalism is increasingly more important.

On the flip side, today's column (Review, ST 31/10/08) by Andy Ho is really good. To me anyway. Not to be condescending but my peers hardly appreciate such writing. But I recommend reading it anyway with it being about "cognitive bias" and "the availability heuristic". Whatever! No point belaboring the point since I know not many will care to read. But hey, I think it gives me good ideas and perspectives and will most certainly come useful for GP.

Speaking about GP, I really really wish that GP would be at a later day after the elections (5th Nov) so we could talk about the new president. Nonetheless, the recent times have been chockfull of events and happenings and many a perspective regarding all these issues and I hope I'll use them to good effect in my GP essay. Often, my GP essays are either too strong in content but lacking focus or the other; I hope I strike a fine balance this time.

About Andy Ho. I really respect him, senior correspondent for the Straits Times. *thumps chest in respect and affirmation*. His column is full of insight, different perspectives, thoughtful issues, well-researched examples and references, and analytical commentary. This, I feel, should be what my peers ought to read but knowing my demographic, it's pointless for me to try and stir any interest when they care more about the facetious and this makes me feel discordantly precocious yet albeit ironic but I will not elaborate further upon this because it really doesn't interest anyone does it? I probably had you at "discordantly precocious".

Another good insight I saw came from the forum section about how Singaporean women are pretty demanding in this recent forum discussion about more Singaporean men marrying foreign Chinese/Vietnamese brides. Here are some quotes:

"modern Singapore women ... caught in an internal struggle between wanting equality and yet maintaining certain rights or privileges, which come from a previous era... leaves men confused..."

Writer goes on to talk about "gentlemen" in the past who had to treat women, who were second-class and had little rights, with positive discrimination. 

"Singaporean women expect their male counterparts to be supermen... Basically, Singapore men today are expected to behave like the gentlemen of a bygone era."

Ok. Nothing inherently wrong with behaving like a civil gentleman but the issue of contention I have is that of equality and positive discrimination. The basic gist of it is that the writer is saying that women still demand positive discrimination yet at the same time, do not want to be seen as marginalized or inferior by claiming equality with males. So it's really confusing how men are supposed to treat the women - as equals, or with positive discrimination but recognize inferiority. Such a mindset is anachronistic.

Let me try to explain it better. Equality means no extra benefits, you get the same thing as men, but you are also expected of the same thing as men - equal cost, equal benefits, simply put. Positive discrimination means that you get better treatment but you have to acknowledge that you are weaker which then merits you the extra benefits - so extra benefits, but greater cost in that you are deemed as inferior.

I personally believe that Singaporean women are not so much caught in-between the two but rather want to have the best of both worlds (*ahem!* GREED!). And I've experienced plenty of this really. The guys are expected to be gentlemanly and give up their seats for the ladies. Oh but no, the ladies cannot be treated like they are inferior or second-class, they cannot be excluded from the conversation or seen as weaker. When the situation suits them, they use either for justification in order to fulfill their purposes.

For example, a classmate told me that they made the guys pay for the "GST and service charge" when a group of them went out to eat even though girls are financially equal to guys. It's like girls can demand from guys but guys cannot demand the same thing back. When girls are in a weaker position, guys are expected to positive discriminate; when girls want to be in a higher position, they claim equality and are allowed do what guys do.

The writer ends with this, "Just as well then that Singapore men tend to be better appreciated by foreign women."

Well, I think this goes to show which is the more socially marginalized sex is in Singapore. Feel free to raise any objections.

Education is not the greatest thing

This is my prelim GP essay which I hope would help some people out before GP starts next monday. Ok lah, I type out to show off a bit too lah :P

"Education does not necessarily liberate." Discuss.

Education is imperative in today's globalized world if one is to eke out a sustainable career, especially in the developed world where economies are largely knowledge-based. In third-world nations and indigent societies, education is a coveted tool to gain employment to earn more money. While it is true that education can liberate one from poverty and allow one to find a job, there is an increasing number of people who view education as a simplistic tool, as merely a means to make money. In that sense, education has not liberated many from the consumerism and worldliness of modern society. Furthermore, this essay will go on to argue how education alone does not liberate us from any of our natural bases and on a more philosophical basis, the world itself.

Formal education, going to school, getting a degree; these are the things that are becomingly increasingly common and familiar to today's society. In many developed nations, education is mandatory as decreed by the government - Singapore for example. The main role of the education system is in fact to equip our young to become part of the workforce and contribute to the economy. With increasing consumerism and materialism in our capitalist world, many have mistaken that in life, one has to study hard, find an adequate enough job to make money and use that money to spend on life's pleasures. Society has become self-indulgent to a point where the true meaning of education has been distorted. It is then that we can see how education has been manipulated to drive one into work for the rest of his life, engaging in a ruinous cycle of endlessly working for things that he wants. To prove my point: in Singapore, the most sought after degrees are mainly law, business and accounting. Most students do not pursue these subjects because they have noble aspirations to defend the poor or uphold truth and justice; their main appeal lies in its potential value for a well-paying job. A local poll conducted several months ago revealed that at least half of those surveyed regret their choice of degrees in university and almost a quarter would have studied another subject. This proves that education has become a tool merely to gain employment. Hence, education has not liberated many from the consumerism of today's world due to the pernicious view that it is merely a means to an end.

While others may argue that education is necessary for a minimal standard of living and to liberate one from poverty, particularly in the developing countries, this may not always be the case due to other factors. The quality of education is of particular importance as well as the availability and type of employment. In many developing nations, the population growth has far exceeded economic growth and as a result, there is insufficient employment for people. Even if they do gain employment, their wages are often vastly deflated and workers underpaid. With large families being the norm in most developing nations, such wages may not be sufficient. While education may liberate one from abject poverty, it does not necessarily liberate one from hardship in the developing nations.

Education is often associated with civility and sophistication. Many have the view that educated people know their manners, are polite and courteous and largely civilized. This is true prima facie as education has not liberated us from our baser instincts.  The educated in society tend to speak properly and portray a neat and immaculate facade. However, it would be wrong to make the connection that education has liberated us from our instincts and differentiated us from our tribal and barbaric ancestors. Indeed, education has merely taught us to hide our inadequacies, taught us not to commit faux pas and erect a facade suitable for society as we know it today. As we all know, humans are ultimately human and there is animal instinct for self-preservation among other things in our human nature. We still pick our noses just like our biological primate cousins; the difference is our social awareness and doing it only when no one is looking. While it is true that animals are able to only follow instinct and humans have control and free will over such base instincts, education has not made us any more different than monkeys as we still fundamentally have these base instincts. Characterized as the seven deadly sins, our base instincts like lust and avarice cannot be eradicated. The world's richest like Donald Trump and Warren Buffet, for all their education and intellect, are still greedy for more money, insatiable with the billions they already have. Education does not liberate us from our animal instincts, only taught us how to hide them; it has failed to liberate us from the evils of society.

"Education is a lifelong process". Education never stops, one is always learning new things in life. Despite its perceived value, education does not liberate us but ties us down to this world. The more we know of this world, the more we become of this world; this is true in an epistemological sense. As we grow older, we become more assimilated into this world and as a result, it becomes harder to liberate ourselves from this world, harder to "think out of the box" as they say. Notice how the young have such vibrant imaginations and able to see things in ways we adults could never have thought of. Being young and unrestrained by the world, children and freer and more liberated minds. However, as they grow older and learn more things of this world, the boundaries of this world close in on them and make it harder to think beyond the rational and logic of this world - the magic of youth starts to disappear.

Perhaps it is unreasonable for us to expect education to free our souls and minds. Education does have its merits after all. For one, it has made us more aware of the many facets of life - our bodies, our minds, our selves. With concepts like epistemology and ontology, it is hard to dispute that education has liberated us from ignorance. Yet, education has to go further still and not stop at simply knowing things about ourselves to make more money. Education cannot just give us knowledge to use from ignorance. Education has to teach us how to use that knowledge and wisdom for the greater good of humanity and progress as a whole. While there are academics who enjoy the noble pursuit of knowledge and see it as their raison d'etre, it is most disheartening that education has merely been relegated as a means to gain wealth and employment. However, with increasing awareness of this world with regard to philosophy, we may yet become aware of our hedonistic and consumeristic tendencies and rise above our predecessors who only saw education as a tool only to be caught in the cycle of work. At the end, it may very well be education that will liberate the hoi polloi from the capitalist bourgeoisie of today's world.

Yet, the question remains: how far can education go and how much can we expect of it to liberate us? As the learning of the world progresses and if humanity can stop using knowledge for the wrong things (like making bombs) to use education for the greater good, we may very well push the limits of education and have higher expectations. Till then, society is still the master of education and we ourselves have to liberate society from the pernicious view that education is merely a means to an end.

C: 20/30 L: 15/20 = 35/50

More things to do:

More updates to my list of things to do/eat before I enlist:

1) EAT SUSHI BUFFET. The one at Cineleisure because they have a bigger menu.

2) Binge on pizza and Canadian Pizza's fried chicken wings

3) Seafood, Fish & Co, Manhattan Fish Market

4) Plenty of Nutella. Yes. I'll get a bunch of bananas and a few jars of Nutella and before the day I enlist, I will eat the whole thing. (It makes me happy see...)

5) Get laid! (Why is number 5 always get laid? I think I run out of stuff to do after #4)

I still can't drown in alcohol because I'm still not yet 18 - wtf right? Neither do I really care to club because I'm still not yet 18. This is like making a list of things to do before I die and I think it parallels going to the army quite well.

6) VANILLA MILKSHAKES! From Carls Jr or Billy Bombers or even Mos Burger. Anywhere.

7) Eat lots of ice cream. Swensens, Ben & Jerry's, Hagen Daz.

8) Bread and butter pudding! I know Delifrance Bistro has it!

And I think that's about it for now... Until I can think of more...

***

General thing to get:

TAYLOR SWIFT'S NEW ALBUM FEARLESS!!!! 11/11!!! Listen to some of the tracks on iTunes :)

OMG OMG

OMG OMG OMG! Guess what just came in the mail!!!!!

My new Body Shop STAR ROYALTY card :D They also gave me 20% vouchers for skin care and make up (ok I don't need the make up one).

Decision decision

Should I splurge on Guitar Hero World Tour which is $299 or should I be frugal and play WoW instead?

Haha wow. How "far" I've come that WoW has become a frugal option... But hey, I'm still very thrifty ok! I always buy my games at discounted prices: Bioshock was 34 (as opposed to 70), Burnout Paradise had a 20% discount, Guitar Hero Aerosmith was $20 cheaper, Assassin's Creed had a 15% discount and it was already the "Platinum Hits" cheaper version. 

Why the hell am I thinking about this!!! I SHOULD BE STUDYING!

Don't think about it

The biggest thing I'm worried about for As is the unexpectedness. There's really no idea as to what to expect from the exam. Because it's the official exam, no one knows what is going to be in it and even the teachers themselves admit to that, that they cannot predict what will come out. Mrs Leong extols the creativity of the examiners . Yet if it's any consolation, they apparently are more lenient when it comes to marking. 

For someone who does things intuitively like me, it's quite frightening to be faced with the prospect of a mystery. I can practise math papers repeatedly and I'll always get an A for them because I'm so used to the question types that appear (really, they're always the same kind) but who knows what's coming out for the As. Once they twist the question, it's going to be a lot harder for me to do it.

I guess in many cases, the examiners just want to see you demonstrate the ability to think logically and support your answers with sound geographical or economic concepts and truths. And I think I'm pretty sufficient in that but I'm really lacking in examples and case studies because I can't remember that whole mass.

Another frightening thing is GP because you never know how well you do for the essay or whether you really got the comprehension question right because there's no knowing what they are asking for! Same goes for Lit as well where there's no indication as to how you've done with it being the most subjective subject of all the others.

I guess it is times like these where we believe in the most farfetched of things and try to abdicate ourselves of responsibility.

The future is a fearful enigma indeed.

***

Oh and just because I get As and Bs in the past doesn't mean I'll get them again you know... The past does not always follow into the future. It cannot predict the future. The future is an amorphous and indefinite realm that no one can ever grasp or predict.

Mr Bubbles!

Bioshock is positively good. And for that awesome bargain price of $34 bucks, it's ALL the better :)

The little sisters really cute too! "Chocolate or cake? I like chocolate better. The cake is a lie!". Clearly an allusion to portal.

And I downloaded the EndWar demo today. It's a strategy game which you use VOICE COMMANDS to control your troops. So it goes like, UNIT 11 ATTACK HOSTILES 4! UNIT 4 CAMERA! UNIT 1 SECURE ALPHA! DEPLOY GUNSHIPS! AIR STRIKE HOSTILES 1!

Coooooooool :)

Now or Never

I can tell this post is gonna be super long.

***

Reply to tags!

Diana: I was there on the first day and they had this Rock Band auditions and THEY SUCK!!!! I CAN PLAY GUITAR BETTER THAN THEM! HAHAHAHAHAHA! Ok, only toy guitars not real guitar. But playing Guitar Hero and Rock Band is fun :)

Sonia: YAY! Now I have no worries about who's gonna play Guitar Hero World Tour if I buy it. But omigosh, it's like 299!!!! BUT WHEEEEEEE! It's GONNA BE DAMN FUN!

Liz: Hehe :) I know :)

KY: Omigosh, you're like a freakin canoeist and I'm gonna be like super unfit!!!! AND I DON'T WANT YOU IN THE SAME TOILET WHEN I'M IN THE SHOWER!!!!!!!!!!!!

***

High School Musical 3's Now Or Never, the opening song, is EXTREMELY APT!

"This is the last time to get it right, this is the last time to make it or not... It's now or never". This CLEARLY summarises and epitomizes what we're going through now: As. IT'S NOT OR NEVER PEOPLE! IT'S YOUR LAST TIME TO GET IT RIGHT SO START MUGGING AND MEMORIZING CASE STUDIES!

Besides that, I thought HSM3 was quite okay. The opening was HILARIOUS because it took me a while to suspend disbelief and it was ridiculously incongruous (and therefore humorous) with how they are singing while playing a basketball game and how the whole game can stop while Gabriella stands up, a light shining down on her, and she starts singing to inspire Troy not to give up - CLEARLY FANTASTICAL!

Besides a predictable and rather shallow plot, the focus of the movie revolves around having fun, dancing and singing. The songs are really quite nice considering how they are so upbeat and happy and teenage boppy! If you intend on watching it, don't bother with the plot which is really quite brainless. Just have fun and enjoy the music.

***

I think I'm allergic to prawns. I've been having too much gourmet food lately. Had a wedding dinner yesterday and ate lots of prawns. Like A LOT OF PRAWNS. And they were good prawns. Medium-sized fresh prawns. 

And I got a REALLY REALLY pleasant surprise when I saw, guess who, RHODA at the wedding. I didn't know my cousin was her cousin as well! I'm on the father's side of the groom while she's on the mother's side of the groom. We spent a good while trying to sort out the whole family tree which was quite amusing. Hahahha, how coincidental! I'm probably related to my friends in one way or another.

Ok then I went to see my brother off at terminal 3 yesterday after the wedding dinner (so full of activity!) and I really like terminal 3! It's so pretty!!!! And then there were all these little primary 5 kids and I saw my primary school vice-principal which was SOOOOOOO long ago and I recognized this Chinese teacher which is apparently my brother's Chinese teacher. How nostalgic! Oh, he's on this Chinese cultural immersion trip to Shanghai. So cool! I've never been to China (only Taiwan... Unless you consider Taiwan a part of China but that is extremely debatable so I don't know)

Now that Ashbel is gone (for 9 days), it's really quiet at home and I feel a bit more liberated. Oh and then after that, we bought back Popeye's home for breakfast this morning which makes me feel really fat. 

Then for dinner just now, I had LOBSTER :D :D :D At MFM :D :D :D WITH :D :D :D I GOT A PLEASANT SURPRISE BECAUSE DBS CREDIT CARDS GET 10% DISCOUNT :D :D :D AND THEN I ALSO GOT A 10% CASH REBATE BECAUSE I WAS USING MY CAPITACARD :D :D :D BUT NOW I'M MOTHER FAT :( :( :( HAHAHHAHA!

Ok but I'm not sort of paying for it because my skin is really messed up now. I'm breaking out and my face is like dry and itchy yet oily and that's just effed up honestly. AUGH!!!! AM I EVEN THAT STRESSED!?

***

Did you know: In Saint's Row 2, the customization options are so deep, you can have a fat middle-aged old man (think of a butcher dude) with pink lips punching his way out of jail. Comedy!

***

Ok, I'm PRETTY sure I have more to blog about but I'm like really tired now so I'm gonna sing a song:

"If only you could see me nowwww... If oh-oh-only..." That's KT Tunstall's If Only.

Oooh! I think I want to get Spiderman: Web of Shadows too! It got a good review (8.0/10, gamespot.com) so I just might get it, budget and time permitting. Wait. Didn't I say I would lock myself up and not see daylight until I finish my games? Well, that would do too :)

Where the world ends

I'm enlisting on the 8th of January, 2009.

I can't say it any more directly than that. AAAAAAAGGGH! Since I'm going into pseudo-prison in the next 3 months, I shall make a list of things that I want to do before I never see daylight again (all hyperbole of course).

1) SEAFOOD. Like at Manhattan Fish Market or Fish and Co.

2) Binge on mushroom swiss burgers or Carls Jr portobello mushroom burgers.

3) Play Guitar Hero World Tour.

4) Finish Bioshock

5) Get laid JUST KIDDING!

5) Play WoW and at least level Aldrus to 60. Oh! And that means I don't have to get Wrath of the Lich King anymore because I sure as hell won't be getting to 80 any time soon.

6) Finish Far Cry 2.

7) Burn all my geog notes and econs notes and lit notes and GP notes and math notes. Okay maybe not, I think they might come in useful. We'll see!

8) Watch James Bond Quantum of Solace.

9) RUN AND LOSE WEIGHT. I need to build up my stamina.

10) Go shopping! If my budget permits...

This Christmas/birthday will be the worst because I know that I'll be 2 weeks closer to the end of my civilian life.

Nevermind. I'll be a naked mole rat and hide in my burrow and no one can find me. Not even the government! Hehe! -> I am clearly losing it here.

X08

X08 was pretty okay if you think about it objectively and not as lackluster as it seemed at first. The games that I was looking out for were Guitar Hero World Tour, Red Alert 3, Far Cry 2, Fable 2, Gears of War 2, Mirror's Edge, Fallout 3, Need For Speed Undercover and Tom Clancy's EndWar. I didn't get to see Red Alert 3, EndWar and Fallout 3 which was quite disappointing because I really wanted to try Red Alert 3 on a console and check out EndWar (you use voice commands to move your troops!). 

The best was Guitar Hero World Tour although I didn't get to try the drums and vocals but the new guitar was nice. I tried Gears of War 2 but it just reminded me a lot of the previous Gears. Fable 2 was at the beginning so I didn't manage to check out the later parts so my judgement is pretty inconclusive. Far Cry 2 was just limited to the stupid intro cut scene because there was a problem with the memory. Need For Speed Undercover reminded me quite a bit of Burnout Paradise in terms of the open-world structure except in night time but I didn't get to race because I had no idea how to start one. I saw Mirror's Edge which seemed okay but I didn't try it out. 

Oh! I saw Call of Duty: World At War too and it looked a lot like the previous CoD games (this is the 5th one).

Man, what's with sequels... It seems like game developers are just squeezing out as much money as they can from one franchise and not bother to work on other franchises and new intellectual property. Oh well! We're all suckers for capitalism.

HEE! HEE! HEE!

Sometimes, I really feel that I'm taken for granted. Although I'm sure that I take others for granted too. Human nature?

***

OOOHHHHHHHHHHH! We're halfway there eh! OOOOOOH OH! Livin' on a prayeerrrrr!

***

I got to try out Guitar Hero World Tour at X08 and I have to say that playing Linkin Park's What I've Done for the guitar is REALLY boring (on hard). And the overall difficulty is a lot easier than the previous Guitar Hero games(3 and Aerosmith). The buttons are a lot more softer so they don't make so much noise - the clacky clack of the Les Paul is GONE! And the touch buttons are interesting although I didn't really know what to make of it.

Gears of War 2 still seems the same and I don't think I'm gonna actually pay for that one. And I think Fable 2 might not be so great after all and I may not get it, partly because WoW is another crazy RPG to sink plenty of time in. So I'm considering Far Cry 2 but then all my Xbox games will be shooters and that'd be pretty boring no?

But I'm really really thinking of getting Guitar Hero World Tour which is 299 and I have to save some moolah. The thing is, who am I gonna play it with since GH WT is the most fun with like 4 people! Oh, and I didn't get to try out the drums or the vocals because I didn't wanna make a fool of myself.

Oh and the title of this post is in reference to the ridiculous lyrics on "Beat It" by Michael Jackson which is one of the songs available on Guitar Hero World Tour. The more popular songs were Beat It, Livin' On A Prayer by Bon Jovi, What I've Done by Linkin Park and most people chose that. I really wanted to try the drums but I don't think I'm very good at it... Hmmm...

***

Bioshock is coming along fine and I absolutely love the pacing of the combat system, the way it develops and you never know what other cool upgrades you'll get along the way and even then, you have to pick and choose which "spells" you carry at one point in time but you can buy more slots. That way, it mixes up the combat and makes things more interesting! 

The story is mildly interesting so far what with the whole undersea city experiment gone wrong sort of thing and you're guided by this voice on the radio who tries to reconcile with you but things keep going wrong. A lot of interesting characters along the way who communicate with you over the radio which really helps to make you feel isolated but it's never really too scary because I have magic powers and I'm playing on Easy! :D

Little miss so invisible

I like "Hot Water". She's the only thing that wraps me up in a warm hug in my most vulnerable and coldest times of the day.

She colludes with "Towel". Who comforts me in a soft dry embrace.

They're the only things that love me.

Case Study

SHITTTT! I saw Bioshock going for 34 bucks and I just had to buy it. I just blew 2 hours on it just now without even realizing it and I wanna go on and talk about how immersive and thrilling it is but I can't because I NEED TO STUDY!

Omg omg omg! This is such a BAD time to have exams because all the awesome games are coming out this season!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *Pulls hair out!!!*

How exasperating!

***

I haven't updated my sidebar for a while but since the last time I did, I've actually finished Neil Gaiman's Anansi Boys and it is such a marvel in fantasy! It's a FANTASTIC novel (not fantastical! HAHA I know the difference between the terms!) with all sorts of worlds interwoven and it is really really deep and multi-faceted. The themes are really deep with a whole lot of metafiction and commentary about literature and the Arts. Oh and the metaphors and expressions are really amusing. Too bad the characters aren't very deep but I guess it being a fantasy novel, the emphasis was a lot more on the themes and settings which were used to great effect.

Ask me about Anansi Boys! I should so totally set up a book club or something! I PICK SONIA! AND THE LIT CLUB :D :D :D

Whenever I go on a book-buying trip (my mom pays :D) I always seem to go back to the familiar authors and genres and it's hard NOT to judge a book by it's cover when really all you see are the covers in a bookshop so like how the heck do you know what's in it. So I usually get Neil Gaiman (Anansi Boys is my third one) and everytime, I get a little more "bored" or "apprehensive" about buying the same author over and over but Neil Gaiman did NOT disappoint with Anansi Boys. 

But I need a change of authors for now...... There's this book the "Secret Scripture", one of the Booker prize finalists, that I wanna read but I can't seem to find... Never mind, I am so preoccupied with so much other stuff! Maybe Dickens! Dickens is quite a good writer really. I like the deep characterization and all the strange people.

It's quite funny. On one hand, I'm the type of spatial person that appreciates setting and location (which could be why I take geography!) but then I find psychology fascinating too so I like deep characters! A nice mix of both would be good :)

Seriously... More people should read and appreciate literature!

Check

Dead Space. Far Cry 2. Fable 2. GTA IV. Guitar Hero World Tour.

Where am I gonna get all that money...

Watch me Unfold

OMG! I got a pimple on my arm! AUGH!!!! So much for evening primrose oil. Although I do feel a a lot less... How should I put this.... Hormonal...

***

I realized that I'm the kind of guy who gets what I want. It really just depends on how much I want it. Sometimes, I just vaguely want something and I can get it already. Sometimes, my wants change over time but I still get it. Sometimes, I forget what I want and I do get it still - nothing. Some things I want but I don't know I have it until it's not with me any more until I'm cognizant of it and then I want it back.

But no matter what it is, I always get what I want. It just depends on how much I want it. Even at my own expense and detriment.

***

Oh! I finally got my Okto channel! I restarted the Set-top box very crudely by unplugging the power. It would not restart hitherto when I unplugged the Ethernet wire or when I pressed the on/off button. 

And I must reiterate that mio tv is IPTV. That stands for Internet Protocol TV. It's kinda like VoIP. That stands for Voice over Internet Protocol. It's basically TV (or voice signals) transfered over the internet as opposed to say Cable or Satellite or analog signals (you know the wire with the metal ring on it which you screw in to the plug (ok that sounds quite offensive) in the lone "tv signal" port; and I'm pretty sure I could've constructed a better sentence without using these parentheses - how crude!)

Goodness!

Nutella! The panacea to all of Life's ailments :) Physical or otherwise :)

Sweet sweet ignorance

I love Nutella! It makes me happy! I'm going to pig out on Nutella whenever I'm sad! The best part is that it doesn't tell you how many calories :)

So I take a spoon and put a spoonful on a banana and bite it off. And then I do this again for 4 more times! WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

It doesn't say how many calories there are but the only clue it gives is that sugar is the first ingredient (and hence of the largest composition). Who cares! I like Nutella :) :) :) 

*more smiley faces*

: ) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :)

OMG! KITTENS MAKE ME HAPPY TOO!!!!

Erase myself

I've decided to hide the Dock so that my screen has more real estate. The only problem is that there's lag time before it pops up so I can select the icons. We'll see if I get used to this trade-off.

***

I've recently been starting to remember my dreams where I once had dreamless sleep. No not dream. Dream is the wrong word. Not nightmare either. They aren't exactly frightening or terrifying.

In my dreams, I'm always running away from something. Always in a different setting but always running away from malevolent figure. I used to have these dreams and then there was a period where I just didn't remember any dreams but now, I'm starting to remember them and I hate it.

What does it mean? That I'm running away from something? Well, I think I know what but really, it's not my choice that I choose to run; I've tried doing something about it but it just didn't work out. If it's something else, then I have no idea what. And I guess the latter is more pernicious.

Cry

Pardon me for being insolent, impudent or supercilious whatsoever but I just feel that the local banks in Singapore really don't deserve to be blamed for the failings and foibles of the investors who lost their principal sums in the Lehman Brothers structure derivatives.

I might not be able to empathize with people who lost their entire life savings or their retirement savings (because I don't even have that much money to begin with) and I know emotions are rife and money matters a lot. Yet I believe that it is in all objectivity that in no way should the banks entirely take the blame for those people losing their principal.

True. The structured products were extremely difficult to comprehend with plenty of financial jargon like "credit event" and "credit derivatives" etc. which I, like the average man on the street, do not understand. Even the relationship managers cannot adequately explain such terms. 

And I also admit that I really do not entirely know what is happening when the RMs sell these products to their customers, whether they are being pushy and using unorthodox and underhand tactics to meet their quotas. And this whole thing about the "vulnerable" 55+ aged people being "targeted" and "exploited", I feel, is really quite unreasonable and gratuitous. 

When you sign a contract, agree on a fixed deposit, agree on a legal contract whatsoever, you are adhering to the stipulated terms and conditions and it is really the investors' onus to read the fine print and understand what the heck he or she is buying. True, the RMs are supposed to explain the terms and the product but ultimately, you are trusting the person (not the bank, please, they are not metonymical) and should you choose to circumvent the understanding of the product, it is ultimately your own fault for not finding what you are buying into and for trusting the RM.

Ok. So the contract is filled with jargon and the RM's job is to clearly define and explain the statement. In certain cases, the RM cannot even explain it properly and you choose to still invest. Yes, the RM has made a mistake but who has made the bigger mistake? The investor for choosing to trust the RM despite his flaws. Secondly, the RM may not have explained everything clearly or may have omitted certain information. If that is the case, then the RM shares some blame as well but because we cannot adequately prove that this is the rule, and not the exception, (and we do believe that our banks are employing well-educated staff don't we), then you cannot blame the bank. Even then, all the information the investor requires is available in the document. By choosing to circumvent the information, choose to be ignorant and allow for gaps in the understanding of the product, can only be the investor's fault.

I'm not saying the banks are blameless. They have to ensure the customer understands the product but whose fault ultimately is it if the customer does not understand and chooses to go ahead and buy the product. In short, just be careful of who you trust.

So right now, I think the whole brouhaha at the Speaker's Corner is completely gratuitous and irrational. Yes, certain things could have been done, certain things should have been. But the thing is, it is unfair to blame this whole thing entirely on the banks and not admit that the ignorance of the investors' are largely to blame as well.

It's not ok to

Okto tuning instructions:

For TV Receiver connected to a MIO TV set top box (SingTel MIO TV subscriber)
No tuning is required
The channel is available on Channel 08

YOU FREAKIN IDIOTS! CHANNEL 08 ON MIO TV IS HD 5!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NOW I CAN'T WATCH HANNAH MONTANA OR BEN 10 OR TEEN TITANS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! /weep

***

I'm taking evening primrose oil supplements for the skin benefits. But apparently, it's actually for PMS and hehe, get this, I like this part the best: 

"Evening primrose oil also dramatically relieves premenstrual breast pain and tenderness."

:D :D :D

GAHAHAHHAHA!!!!

Now I can do more push ups without tiring out :D