Bye 07

I had the strangest shopping experience today.

While contemplating the purchase of a particular apparel, simulataneously contending with a tormenting and mind-numbing headache, the song to which this certain shirt was based upon played. As if it wasn't felicitous enough, while in the queue to buy it, this completely random stranger gave me a 20% discount voucher for that item! It was as if by divine proportions that such a situation was met! Most splended indeed!

Ok, 2007 will be over in about a few minutes time and personally, I couldn't give two hoots about the date because it's nothing but a superficial demarcartion of one's bearings in a scalar quantity, time (but it can be a vector too!).

That aside, I guess it's a good time to reflect and make some resolutions even though no one really fulfills them although I think I've fulfilled mine for this year.

The highlight of this year really is this whole year but actually, its one event in particular that involved this certain person and a whole brouhaha that I certainly won't be forgetting in a LOOOONG while :)

But 2007 really was a milestone in my life getting to JC and meeting girls and acting all bimbotic (operative word being 'act'). Not just that, I learnt a lot of life lessons and grew up in quite a number of ways. I'm more cynical now for sure... Oh and I've fulfilled this year's resolution because I managed to get my act together and improve on my studies and work hard, and im really proud of that!

So for next year, I want to maintain and continue this momentum and do the best I can and I wanna be happy and my final resolution is to slim down and get a silver for NAPFA.

It's a new year too soon and I don't wanna grow up...

Hello 2008...

It's so hard to start on homework

Shopping is fun. Have I said that before? I'll say it again: shopping is fun :)

Topshop has a end of season sale now and I've yet to use my 20% discount voucher. I've also yet to use my Body Shop 20% discount voucher... So if anybody needs, tell me before the month is over because the vouchers are only valid during my birthday month which ends in 5 days.

I've been looking for board shorts lately but I can't seem to find a nice one anywhere :( And I can't quite decide what I should stock up on: those thick and baggy surfer-ish shirts or the urban kind from Topman and Zara... Maybe both? :D

It matters

Thanks to everyone who wished me any seasonal greeting and Happy Birthday. I apologize for the lacklustre attitude on my part especially concerning Christmas. I'm sick not just physically...

It's my birthday... So...

What happened to the little (fat) boy who would get so excited about Christmas and his birthday, who would devour the seasonal cuisine and shred the presents open with such anticipation and expectation despite the school term starting in just one week?

I guess something happened to me along the way this year and what was once joy is now filled with apathy and blankness. I want to care but I see no reason to care. I know that I do yearn for the same festive mood that I used to contain but it seems like I'm now some empty husk. To make things worse, I fell sick on the eve of Christmas.

The very fact that I'm saying all this shows that I do want to care but for some reason or another, I just don't share the same enthuasiasm as others do. I guess I'm just so inured and numb to everything around me and I just find it so meaningless to celebrate my birthday. What's there to look forward to? A levels next year and then NS soon after; growing up sucks.

Most would perceive birthdays as special, a deviation from the usual platitude of life with some positive emotion filled in it's place but I don't share that same view about my own birthday. Nothing's out of the ordinary today and I couldn't quite care to make it special...

Ultimately, I guess it all boils down to two factors: me and those around me. For starters, I ought to stop thinking so much and appreciate life as it is, finding pleasure in all the small things, which is really quite hard for me to do because I tend to think big pictures. I take a lot of things for granted and I'm probably bound to live my life in regret but that's probably the reason why I'm so numb to all of life's pleasures...

I remember hunting for the PSP game Daxter and when I finally found it and could buy it, there wasn't much anticipation to play it than I first expected. The excitement died way too quickly and the game didn't feel all that special later on. It's like that: I tire way too easily and I hardly ever complete my games (except Halflife 2 which had a stellar plot). I just take things for granted too easily....

This Christmas, I think I became an Ebenezer Scrooge thinking that "Bah! Humbug! Christmas is a waste of time". Not the birth of Jesus Christ being a waste of time but rather, all the commercial festivity and joy and to make things worse, I got sick drinking too much Bailey's. And not just Christmas being a waste of time but my birthday as well... I've become too complex to be able to appreciate the simple things and that is the bane of thinking too damn much...

Children are so simple and innocent; just a little poke sends them reeling in laughter and I guess that when we play with kids, seeing them happy not just evokes in us some measure of joy but it also painfully reminds us of a time when we were simple and able to enjoy such pleasures.

While my own consciousness dominates my moods and emotions, there is a herd mentality in people that would allow it to be influenced by their peers. In other words, other people influence my emotions, moods and opinions as well though, of course, this differs widely from person to person.

The surpise on monday was definitely appreciated and all the subsequent Christmas and birthday wishes from so many people were cherished and made me realise how many people actually cared about my birthday. Despite this, it wasn't really enough to send me over the edge and radically change my attitude about my birthday unfortunately. It's like a exothermic reaction with the activation energy and enthalpy changes (wow, I still remember that!); they all helped to provide the energy but it just fell short of the very high activation energy level that I must've set for myself.

Nevertheless, I understand that this battle is mine and mine alone but I keep running away from it with so many distractions that are readily available.

Seventeen is a nice number and represents the peak of your teenagehood in many ways. If only I could say and believe that from the heart instead of spewing it out intellectually.

Being sick sucks

To everyone who made today a very surprising and memorable day: thank you so much for everything! It's a birthday I won't forget :)

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year everybody!

I want to try eggnog..

Quote worthy quotes from 1984

"as long as there are no standards for comparison, the masses will never feel repressed"

"Past events... survive only in written records and human memories. The past is whatever the records and memories agree upon."

"Who controls the past controls the future: who controls the present controls the past."

"... reality is not external. Reality exists in the mind and nowhere else."

"Power is not a means, it's an end. One does not establish a dictatorship in order to safeguard a revolution; one makes the revolution in order to establish the dictatorship."

"We control matter because we control the mind. Reality is inside the skull."

"Nothing exists except through human consciousness"

"We shall abolish the orgasm. Our neurologists are at work upon it."

"Men are infinitely malleable"

"If he thinks he floats off the floor, and if I simultaneously think I see him do it, then the thing happens."

"It pre-supposed that somewhere or other, outside oneself, there was a 'real' world where 'real' things happened. But how could there bu such a world? What knowledge have we of anything, save through our own minds? All happenings are in the mind. Whatever happens in all minds, truly happens."

The RC doesn't work

I'm too jaded and cynical to be happy...

Ignorance is bliss.

Running solves nothing but at least you're away from it.

If only everything was lucid

Something's wrong with me. No. Not just something. Everything.

Wrong? What is wrong?

Why am I right and you wrong?

What makes you more right than I am?

Wrong? Right? Right and wrong. They're relative.

Why do people believe what they fight for is right when people die? When millions suffer and still suffer later on? Isn't that wrong?

If there is something wrong with me, why are you right about it?

Who can say what is right and what is wrong?

Who is in any position to judge?

To judge who is right and who is wrong.

What is right and what is wrong.

And why?

Why am I wrong? Because I say and know myself so?

Do I know what is right and what is wrong?

No. People are never the best judges of what is right and wrong.

But do I know myself best? To judge myself?

Who can say?

Even so.

What is right and what is wrong.

Tell me what I should do...

Is God in our genes?

Is God in our genes?

It's not as long as it seems. Really!

MUTHA!

ARRRGH!!! !(#*)(#&%*$&^*$(%!)%)#)%^$*^($*%!!! Blasted keyboard is MESSED UP! MY WHOLE COM IS MESSED UP! I FEEL LIKE BUYING A TURKEY AND STABBING IT AND EATING IT LIKE A BARBARIAN!!! RAWWRRRR!!!! DIE MOFOS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

EDIT -

You can add that to my wishlist too: one big roasted stuffed turkey and a knife and a fork. Oh wait, just the knife for stabbing. I eat with my bare hands.

EDIT 2 -

I wish I was stupider sometimes. Like a true bimbo. And a neighbourhood school is fine. When everything in my life is disproportionate and at odds with the other.

Wishlist!

Since I have unlimited wants and limited resources, here's a wishlist anyway (that just makes no sense!) which I've sorted into categories:

Entertainment (music and video):
Westlife - Back Home
Backstreet Boys new album, that one with Inconsolable
Carrie Underwood - Carnival Ride
Carrie Underwood - Some Hearts
Matchbox Twenty - Exile on Mainstream
Alvin and the Chipmunks OST (LOL! I'm just kidding! Naw, I don't mind)

Ocean's 11, 12, 13 DVD
Lost DVD box sets
Prison Break DVD box set
Heroes DVD box set
The Bourne Trilogy DVDs
High School Musical 2 (LIKE OMIGAWSH!!!)
Die Hard 4 DVD
And I can't remember what other nice DVDs I wanna watch. OH WELL!

Pectoral imbalances

The film "The Golden Compass" is not aetheistic and does not need to be boycotted by any religious organisation. I say that because firstly, I've seen the movie and there is NO explicit or direct mention of God or anything religious. Yes there are subtextual implications but it's hardly anything your little sibling will pick up. Secondly, according to what I've read, the film is a bad adaption of the novel and many of the aetheistic and anti-God elements were NOT translated to the film. Thus, this leaves The Golden Compass a very sub-standard movie highly reminescent of LotR, Eragon and Narnia.

The plot of Golden Compass consists of Lyra finding out that this organisation (The Magisterium; I think it's a really cool name) is kidnapping kids to separate their daemons from the kids which is like removing one's soul from one's body because a person's daemon is the person's soul manifested in the form of an animal. AND... The story ends in a cliffhanger. It felt like a really abrupt ending that made me feel really cheated. Actually, it did for everyone in the cinema since the ending caused quite a stir. I really wouldn't recommend spending money on the Golden Compass, watch Hitman instead :P

Let's talk about the concept of maturity now since this concerns everyone. More specifically, the concept of maturity in relation to morality (social).

When people say someone has become more matured, what does it mean? It's not just about going through puberty and voices breaking and hair growing out of awkward places. That is physical maturity. Neither is it thinking linearly or planar analysis of complex scenarios, where you can't evaluate or see things from a larger perspective. What I'm talking about is how when someone is immature, he only cares about himself. It's only about what he wants and he doesn't consider the needs, wants or opinions of others but just his only. When someone is "more mature", he seems to care more about those around him, being more understanding, sympathetic and more willing to compromise. That is moral maturity, to do what is "good" and "right" and not just care only about yourself.

Characteristic of moral immaturity is basically when you care only about yourself, apparent in little kids today who only want things for themselves and the stupid immature pre-pubescents on WoW who think they're better than you and you're a n00b if you don't know where "Orgrimmar" is and respond by telling you to press Alt-F4 because they only care about the enjoyment they receive and fail to consider the feelings of those in need. I'm sure we can agree that such people are immature.

Characteristic of moral maturity is when you start to consider the feelings of others and care about what their opinions and take into account their desires and needs. Like people who are altruistic and are loving, who don't mind giving not just physical materials and money but also their time and attention.

Even better is someone who cares about not just him and his loved ones but the stranger on the street and people he doesn't know, donating to charity often and volunteering in community or social services.

In my opinion, the general trend is that the more people you care for, the more you're supposedly mature. And I'd like to make a reference to Kohlberg's stages of moral development (google or wiki it if you can) to reinforce my opinion. In pre-conventional morality, it's all about the self, what's in it for me or how do I avoid bad consequences. Conventional morality starts involving more people when the individual considers the society and finally, post-conventional morality involves a larger community with social contracts (meaning that laws restrict you and certain freedoms and you accept they are for the "greater good").

Now I've read Brave New World where everything is done for the greater good. Society is divided into different castes and conditioned to accept their lot in life, also conditioned to spend money and be merry but at the expense of their personal freedom, intellectual freedom and emotions (they don't feel). But social and economic stability is ensured; no strikes, no discontentment, everybody's happy but they're all stupid and don't think. Even after they die, the citizens are conditioned to accept death and even approve of it as corpses are recycled into phosphorous to be used by industries. Now that is EXTREME.

A more realistic scenario is if one is moral enough to sacrifice himself for the greater good, to protect the society at large. Don't know whether you've heard of the train scenario but it goes like this. If a train is headed for 5 workmen on the train tracks and will definitely kill all of them and you could flick a switch that would redirect the train's course to another track but this would kill one man, would you do it? Most people would. But if let's say you had to push that one man onto the track to stop the train, would you? Most people wouldn't. The difference here represents how people used their rationality of thought and their emotional engagement in both scenarios respectively. In the first scenario, more people would because it seems rational: save 5 lives, sacrifice 1; it's for the "greater good". The act of flicking a switch is also more distant than actually pushing a man onto the track to his death even though you're saving the 5.

But that's not the point. The point is that as one becomes more mature and starts to consider more and more people, we start to disregard those around us and even the sanctity of human life as illustrated in that scenario since we are willing to sacrifice a life. So mature that we become heartless and distant from our friends and families but consider only the "greater good".

My question then is: How "mature" should we be?

Bye iPod sock!

Did I mention that I lost my iPod sock in the cinema yesterday, during Golden Compass? Yes, my phone is now sock-less... No more blue iPod sock... /cry

Now... I've just a pink iPod sock left....

...

...


Naww...... I'm not THAT gay....

Dystopia aplenty

I've just finished reading Handmaid's Tale and my mind is in a whir... I have to admit I read it with little analysis or depth, opting to read it superficially and get a grasp of it before school starts.

I don't have much comment about it except that it's a really complex novel, full of symbolism and metaphors which I don't have much of a clue about. Which also fuels my sloth in interpreting deeper because I would rather just wait for my lit tutors to enlighten me...

The next book I intend to read is George Orwell's 1984 but I think I've had enough of dystopias for now... Maybe I'll use my Times 20% discount voucher to get the Golden Compass :)

Hitman, and my blog

Ok, so here's a more comprehensive comment about Hitman in view of that rather superficial bimbotic blab about Hitman.

In case you don't know, the movie Hitman is based on the game Hitman which has spawned several iterations (the latest being Blood Money) and dates all the way back to my primary school days (ahhh, nostalgia). It's a game about, well, a Hitman. You play this cold bald dude with a barcode tattooed on the back of his head and he goes around assasinating people. I must admit that I don't own the game (the last few iterations are pretty graphically demanding and my damned com is trash) and the first time I played it was back in primary school. I still remember strangling someone with the infamous fibre wire (which is fortunately in the movie too; very cool), dragging him to the dumpster and wearing his clothes so you can infiltrate some bar and kill the boss.

The movie is pretty much the same but with more twists and embellishment to thicken the storyline. It makes for some good action and thinking but in the end, it just didn't leave me feeling a sense of awe; it was just okay.

The plot's premise is simple enough. Agent 47 works as a professional assasin and is tasked to assasinate the Russian president (don't we all love Russians :)). This sends him on an adventure of political intrigue, double-crossing and a whole lot of gunfights and some bare breasts as well (yes it's NC16).

Hitman exudes plenty of style and ass-kicking. Agent 47 never gets hurt (even if he can, he could probably respawn) which makes him feel really overpowered like in computer games. But it's this sense of omnipotent power that is a whole lot of fun to watch - the fire power, the fisticuffs and subtle manipulation. Obviously, there are some challenges to this demigod and the most amusing is in the form of Nika, his prostitute sidekick who constantly tries to make him sleep with her with amusing results.

One of the reviews I read complained about the brief introduction to Agent 47's quasi-religious history which only occupies the first part of the movie. However, on the contrary, I thought that it was deliberated very well and made for quite a refreshing introduction, especially with the opening music.

Hitman isn't a Bourne or Mission Impossible movie. It lacks the scale, star factor and budget for a movie of that kind. But while it lacks the blockbuster oopmh, it makes up for it with a different perspective of assasination, politics and humanity. If you've played Hitman before, the movie sure does deliver with all the cool guns and gadgetry, action and sneaking around. I just don't remember Agent 47 talking so much... Oh and sniper rifles are just so cool (:

*** (3 stars out of 5 for the movie and for demarcation)

After reading some of my friends' blogs, it seems that I'm the only one who doesn't talk much about class gatherings... I noticed that after two people complained about me smashing chocolate cake in their face... Hey, it wasn't entirely my fault okaaaay! Hehe, but it sure was fun :p At least I managed to work off all the calories and fat from the pizza!

But that's not the point! I can't quite figure out why I don't like blogging about my social life. Maybe it's because I seem to be lacking one! Haha! Maybe I just feel that my blog is more of an intellectual outlet or reflective medium rather than a narrative of my life but that's not to say I don't let it be sometimes. I always like having some value-addeedness rather than a pointless script of my day.

I honestly don't know... Just don't feel like blogging about my actual life... Hmm... I really wonder why... If you've noticed, my longer posts tend to be about things that aren't directly related to my daily life. /shrug Yeah, like only when I'm really bored then do I blog about what I did today or something... Or maybe I'm just shy? Hmmm... Which also explains the lack of pictures...

Anyway, I realised that I'm an information guzzler. Just read and read and read and I'm happy. Especially if it's pertinent to my current life. I'm a crazy absorber! I just like soaking in information and learning new things... I like adding value (assuming that what I'm doing IS of worth) to my life hence the lack of enthusiasm for other meaningless pursuits like WoW. I guess I just like learning more about the things around me and exploring human qualities...

Zara zara!!!

Time for a bimbo post!

Ok, so today was like so totally fun! Me and my galfriends (just Cherie actually) went to watch Hitman. I know it's not gurly or anything but I thought it was pretty okay. Lotsa gunfights and explosions and kicking butt. The plot was okay but a bit confusing sometimes, see, too many plot twists for my bimbotic brain and the constant scene switching made it more confusing :( So yes, at the end, I still didn't understand some parts but its okay :) But it's like so totally whatevaarrrr....

So we went over to Hereen HMV and I saw the new Westlife album! Oooh! And Backstreet Boys and Spice Girls are back too! But I didn't buy their albums today. Maybe next time :) I also saw the new PSP games and I was trying to find Daxter or Ratchet and Clank, see if they're selling it for cheaper but no, they didn't have it in stock :( Ok, that part wasn't very bimbotic but whatever.

Then we went to Vivo where I bought quite a few stuff. I went to Watsons to buy my facial scrub and pimple cream, then after walking around, went to Body Shop to buy the promotional body butter. Instead of 30, was selling for 20! So cheap right!!! Yeah, I got the Rich Plum one although I quite liked the Cranberry one. The Rich Plum one is much stronger and a bit more tangy, the Cranberry is a bit milder and sweeter :)

Then I needed 10 bucks more to top it up to 30 bucks so I can get a stamp on my rewards card and on my next visit, I can get a $10 discount :) I asked Cherie and she wanted to get the Peppermint foot lotion but then decided not to after a while. So I decided to get the hand wash because the hand soap at home had run out. I didn't really know if it was hand soap soap because the label said "soap-free" so I thought you didn't need water. They even had a "TRY ME" tester for it so I thought I'd try it but guess what. It was SOAP!!! And I had soap on my hands without water!!! EEEEWWWWWW!!! And that was the mango one but I preferred the coconut one so I got the coconut one in the end because it smelled prettier :)

Then finally, we went to shop at Topshop (Topman specifically) and River Island and finally Zara. River Island was really expensive and I didn't really see anything I liked. Topman was okay but there wasn't anything special. Zara was different because I actually bought two shirts!!! I tried an M at first and I could actually wear it but it was really tight at the top, the shoulders and chest specifically. I was so annoyed because my sides were perfectly fine and accentuated; it made me look narrower at the bottom! But my shoulders are too darn broad, and my chest too big, so I had to get an L instead :( Cherie even said that the shirt was stretching at the shoulders but the bottom part was okay.... Man, I have such a weird body; I'm like between an M and an L which makes it so hard to buy clothes! Oh and don't get me started on shoes!!! BUYING SHOES IS WORSE!!!!

We shopped quite late, like until the shop closed. There was still so much to see but they said they were closing soon so we had to go :( BUT NEVERMIND, we can still go shopping next time :) Oh and after that, I was feeling so happy! I don't know why but I actually felt happy shopping! It's like so fun!!! Hehe, I must really be a bimbo :P

Bimboness aside, I'm still struggling with my Macbook dilemma... Macbook, or Macbook Pro, or not at all? Hmm... I want a new com to play new games... This desktop is way past its expiry date...

It's gonna be over too soon

Right, I'm back from Taiwan and all I can say is that it was okay... No biggie... Whatever... So here's a few stuff of note:

On the plane, I got a papercut from the Kris Shop catalogue and the irony is that I was worrying about turbulence. I sorta have this phobia of turbulence ever since I experienced the airplane dropping back when I was flying to London. I still dislike flying because landing always increases the air pressure which in turn makes my head hurt. Oh and they did something to the in-flight entertainment: now the movies/shows/music are all timed and programmed, no more video on-demand. Maybe it was just for the flight I was on. And my mum got a 50 USD Kris Shop voucher because her seat's remote control was broken.

People: Most of the population are actually quite nice. They're not rude and impatient and uncivilized and most they don't litter. But what is annoying is that they're pushy. If you're in their way, they just nudge or shove you away. What I hated the most is that they smoke anywhere and everywhere, even in aircon places. The pollution there is just awful. People smoke so much as if cigarettes are free and they have some compulsive disorder to stick something in their mouths and suck. I swear its possible to get addicted to smoking just by passive smoking, no need to pick up a cigarette, just go breathe in some Taiwanese smoke.

I've also noticed that Taiwanese people are really awesome drivers. The way they interweave and navigate through the traffic (plenty of scooters around too) is like watching a synchronized orchestration and you could be forgiven for thinking it was premeditated because they weave in and out so smoothly. And they rarely horn too even when they should be (in Singaporean context anyway).

Environment: Weather-wise, things were pretty cool. Around 17-18 degrees which was just fine. The only unbearably cold times were when we were at the coastal areas and the seabreeze was just frigid. The weather was nice most of the time; like that time when I was in England, you could just walk for a long time without perspiring, quite unlike Singapore.

There's quite a lot of scenery in Taiwan and I'm currently too lazy to post pictures. Really beautiful mountain sides and coasts, and we saw these coastal rock formations and stuff. There were rivers, gorges, mountains, forests, country sides. The stuff you see in a Geography textbook.

The city and town scapes are a tad odd because I find it rather anachronistic. You see the old clashing with the new. You see these old chinese shops selling traditional wares and street hawkers and out of nowhere pops out this 7-11 or Giordano. Looking down the street, you'll find the run-down stalls with dull metal and yellowed tiles and suddenly you see bright green and white and yellow neon lights and a brightly lit shop that just dominates the scene which just seems at odds with the rest of its surroundings. Most of the streets are clean but the dull look is often due to the old elements.

Hotel: The hotel we went to was cool because there was HBO! I remember watching War of the Worlds and Mean Girls :) There was also Channel News Asia and Fox News and a few other English TV channels but the majority was in Chinese; on the Nickelodeon channel, Dora the Explorer was conversing with her monkey in Chinese, lol!

Breakfast was fine but the Western spread was a lot less limited than what I'm usually used to. They had Chinese stuff like porridge and I didn't know what the Chinese ate for breakfast so I just had the usual scrambled eggs :) I love scrambled eggs!

Oh and my dad spotted a kiasu Caucasian couple. He saw them putting the hardboiled eggs (which had the shell on) and bananas into their pockets and handbag. Haha, you thought Asians were the only cheap ones around eh?

Shopping: Hmm, shopping wasn't so great. Most of the shops sold small souvenirs that I couldn't quite care about and most of their products were Chinese-y like preserved fruit or mochi. I saw Body Shop and Giordano and I thought that that was my kind of shopping and it was then I realised that I'm such an American consumerist. Well hey, even their 7-11s suck! They sell tea eggs and all sorts of tea, whats to like if you're not Chinese?

So yes, I didn't go all crazy with the Chinese fashion unlike previously in Aus and England. They had strange brands with funny English words on their shirts unlike the Billabong, Quiksilver, Gap, Topshop and River Island that I'm more accustomed with and attracted to. Most of their collections were Winter clothing anyway so it was all wooly and thick which isn't suitable for sunny and perpetual-summer Singapore.

So that's it.

And it's dawned upon me that my birthday is fast approaching which means that I'll be one year closer to a new year and that much dreaded turning point in my life - NS and adulthood. Damnit! I want to stay young forever, trapped in this ignorant stage of youthfulness, full of the joys and bliss of formal education, worrying about exams and studying and staying cool, as opposed to the adult problems of making money and all that.

I do not look forward to the next year.

On hiatus

I'll be away in Taiwan until this Saturday! Cya ppl!

Temptation temptation

During cell today, Jeremy Wee shared about temptation. One of the more thought-provocative things was this: "If you flee from temptation, you'll be happier".

At first glance, it would seem rather paradoxical. Assuming that temptation is an unfulfilled desire, a desire something that would potentially make you happy, how would we be happy if we do not give in to the desire?

Then this made me think: it depends on what makes you happy (or how you define happy). Notice the word "happier", it is relative. One versus the other. Now if we were to flee from temptation, why would we be happy? Some possible reasons would be because we triumph over an obstacle, in this case, a sin. That we have achieved something that is difficult, nothing that we do not usually achieve. It's special. It's noble.

So this boils down to two perspectives: derive happiness from succumbing to the temptation (whatever happiness it may bring) or derive happiness from achieving something noble, of triumphing over evil.

Thus, it is ultimately dependent on what makes you happier. For me? I think too much so I generate a Cost Benefit Analysis in my head. Ridiculous, I know.

Singapore is seriously funny

Wow, there's been a lot going on in the news these days and I somehow feel compelled to blog about it or maybe I'm really just damn bored (HAHA).

I'm not sure if you have heard but there's been a rather controversial move by the Media Development Authority (MDA, they're the ones who censor your movies and decide what you see) to, at first, ban the game Mass Effect and then un-ban it but introduce an M18 rating to it.

Mass Effect is a Role Playing Game (RPG) set in a distant future where you play the role of a spaceship commander and uncover galactic conspiracies and visit other galaxies and meet aliens. The human race has just advanced to such space technology and is thus perceived to be an immature race as compared to the other aliens. And it is that thread which I believe is, unfortunately, ironic in today's context in Singapore.

The game was banned at first because it contained a BRIEF sex scene (of what nature, I have no idea) between a female human and female alien. My gosh, we don't need to be 18 to be able to discern that aliens (hopefully) do not exist and such scenes are utterly ludicrous in nature, meant to be taken with suspension of disbelief. But ultimately, it does boil down to the individual's own discerning capabilities and discretion, I agree. So what? Does this mean that if say your little sibling chances upon this scene, they will be instantly turn gay or whatever? (Exaggeration I know but meant for rhetorical effect).

The assumption behind their rationale to prevent us from seeing such things is because the censors assume that Singaporeans are immature, that they are not mature enough to discern. In such a globalized society and with Singapore boasting about its education system, how truly are we able to develop our own moral stands and discern, take with a pinch of salt, such differing views about different matters? In Gamespy's review of Mass Effect, it cited that "the subject of romance is approached tastefully," It goes to highlight the contrast of maturity in Western societies versus our Asian society.

Ironic isn't it? That Singapore aspires to be a global hub, metropolis, what-have-you to extol the success of our country. But at the same time, there is very little focus on the arts and societal advancement; we're always more concerned about the economy rather than the anthropology and philosophy or associated humanities of our society. A pragmatic society, more concerned about Science and Tech and business. Education has become a tool for success instead for self-betterment. Entrepreneurs are encouraged not intellectuals or thinkers or philosophers.

And it is this pragmatism that transcends throughout all levels to influence our decisions on every level, from the state to the individual. While we aim to be a more globalized city, the governmental bodies are at odds with each other as to how this should be achieved. If we aren't allowed to immerse ourselves in the arts, we can't progress as a society, only the economy.

To bolster my point, let's take the law as another underlying factor in the progress of society. Before, women had no right to vote, women were powerless in a male-dominated society but now, women are given rights, rights to education, rights to vote etc.

There are a lot of things to consider when we want to progress as a society (arts and law to name a few) but if all we care about is money and pragmatism, a dystopian vision could mean that we neglect our moral standards for the pursuit of money and self-centered gains...

In summary: rationale to ban Mass Effect was unwarranted; MDA assumes Singaporeans are immature; stifling Arts culture leads to Singaporeans becoming "immature"; too much focus on Science and making money; focus too much on economy; ironic, want to progress society but neglect arts.

P.S. The MDA Senior Management Rap: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ksw2UqTyhhc
Watch out for the director of censorship. The whole thing is ridiculously distasteful which goes to show what they think about our appreciation of arts and their idea of youth culture.

MOE = HR

Take a look at today's headlines on CNA:

"Top PSLE student attains highest score in 17 years

By Hasnita A Majid, Channel NewsAsia Posted: 22 November 2007 1620 hrs

SINGAPORE: St Hilda's Primary School has produced the top PSLE student this year. "

Now I have a bone to pick with that sentence. First of all is the diction (pardon me, I'm sensitive to language), the word "produced". This school has PRODUCED a top student. PRODUCED. What does this make us? Products! What are we? Manufactured goods that come from Ford-ish assembly lines where we go in one stage (Primary 1) and at the final stage (Primary 6), after completing Quality Control (PSLE), we become a finished product, ready to go to placed on the market (choosing schools), and sold to the highest bidder (Raffles).

Produced. It bears such clinical and mechanical connotations. That we humans, are nothing more than a mere resource in the eyes of the government. Readily expendable. There's more where it came from! More ready to be PRODUCED! Where's the humanity in all that? It's like we're being relegated to the dystopian future of Brave New World where humans are exploited at every level by the government to contribute to the progress of the economy and society, where even when they die, they are recycled into phosphorous to be used elsewhere.

Next, notice the tone. It's completely dead and serious and matter-of-factly. Ok well, granted that news are meant to be like that but it wouldn't hurt to change some words to give it a more humane tone. "Top PSLE student emerges from ..." Emerge, as if its a victory, a cause for celebration, and indeed, this PSLE is big enough challenge and obstacle for one to triumph over, to emerge as the top. But the word "produced", there is nothing humane in that.

When you say produced, you get ideas that there's more where it came from. Mass production. Produce, it's so simply to just "produce" it. But emerge. How often does one "emerge" as the top, to beat the rest? You produce resources, you produce easily, you don't emerge easily, only special things emerge. It's appalling to see how pragmatic our government and society has become that we've become dehumanised, that the sanctity of life means little to anyone now.

Another thing is how the school is placed first. The emphasis is placed on the school. Credit is not given to the student but rather, credit is given to the school. The individual does not matter any more, it's the society at large that matters so credit is given on a more macro level.

I'm not saying that I can make better headlines or write better articles. This is after all a news article and its supposed to be without embellishment but look, it doesn't have to be embellished to convey a sense of humanity, that we all aren't insignificant resources, readily expendable, and fodder for the economy. Not only is this evident in education, just look at the population policies and campaigns. Babies are a "resource" and making babies is an act of "National Service" (Handmaid's Tale anyone?).

While it may seem noble to serve the society at large and be altruistic, not everything is for economic gains. We ought to retain a sense of our humanity and enjoy freedom, something that is flagrantly lacking and in dire need of. If not, we can expect to realise the dystopian future painted in Brave New World and Handmaid's Tale.

For the full article, click here.

Haikus

Haikus are easy
But some don't make any sense
Refrigerator

---

I got this off someone's sig on the WoW forums. I honestly hope you find this funny.

The little butterfly

I hold my future in the palm of my hand
in the form of a butterfly.
Her wings a kaleidescope of colours,
dazzling, shimmering, oh-so-mesmerizing.
We go for walks in the meadow,
where the grass is always greener.
She stretches her wings
to fly in the crisp morning air,
fluttering gaily, happiness everywhere.
Sometimes I get lost
in the hypnotizing splendour of the meadow -
nature in bloom, an explosion of scents and colours.
Basking in tranquility and sunlight,
surrendering till peaceful night.
But some way some how,
she always finds me,
to take her home.

And then one day,
we walk the dusty road of time
beyond the green meadow
to behold a blue abyss.
As far as the eye could see,
horizons of cerulean.
Captivated and charmed,
I stand at the edge of the cliff.
To fall.
Fall into the deep blue sea,
in search of endless possibilities,
to satiate an impossibility.
To leave a lone
butterfly,
in the orange hues of the sky.

Wishlist

Hmmm... Remind me to get these...

PC: The Orange Box. I can't play the rest (omgisoh, CoD4, Bioshock, Crysis!!!) because my hardware sucks and it'd be unrealistic to upgrade my rig now - be it video card or the whole thing.

So... The games will have to go to the PSP! I've always wanted to play a platformer; either Daxter or Ratchet and Clank: Size Matters. I need something fun and accessible for my portable consoles. I'm also thinking of getting Strategy RPGs like Disgaea: Afternoon of Darkness and Final Fantasy Tactics: The War of the Lions. Oh and Final Fantasy VII Crisis Core would be nice too but it's not yet released, the US version anyway.

DS... Not much... I've always wanted Nintedogs but that's not a priority. Legend of Zelda: Phantom Hourglass? Final Fantasy XII Revenant Wings and Final Fantasy Advance 2. And I haven't even finished playing Pokemon and Castlevania... Blah.

And as usual, I wish for long-term benefits and gains. Lifestyle change would be nice but that is out of my reach for now anyway.

I've been playing WoW lately, to live a life of ignorance, of bliss. To escape everything.

Swallow the ocean and be content
hold the reins of your life while,
Sirens and mermaids assail your heart.
Washed up with a tropical beauty.

Paradise within thou grasp;
A facade too few contemplate deeper
Beyond beneath the feathered mask
Cloak and hidden dagger;
Quickly! Mouth your final prayer.

This doubt and confusion sow discordant tones
Can our love never be?
She is
a specter of desire
Leading hearts to a quagmire

Trapped in an azure dream
(A decadence, heart-robbing cadence)
like drowning in blueberry cream
Bleakness and darkness begin to converge
A nausea soon approaches.

Look up for inspiration or divine intepretation
To see a,
drifting cloud furrows his brow
But
The sea is calm, the winds are still
What was once and is are never will.

Note to self:

Because I won't be getting a super gaming com any time soon considering how I'll only have 1 year left before NS and I'll have to be studying in that one year anyway, I ought to postpone my dreams of buying a 1337 com and playing every game I want to on the maximum graphical settings so I shall compile a list of games to buy in the future when the time comes :)

Hmm, let's see, here are the ones I can think of off-hand now...

Bioshock
Crysis
Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare
Battlefield 2142
Company of Heroes
Supreme Commander
F.E.A.R.
Halflife 2 and expansions

Is there a need for a mirror if the only person that exists is you?

My life doesn't have anything going for it right now. These few days, I've been seeing all these seriously great and awesome games coming up like Call of Duty 4, Crysis, Assasin's Creed, Mass Effect, Need For Speed Prostreet, Hellgate London, Halflife 2, and so many many more. It's just painfully agonizing to see these games and read the reviews and watch the trailers that I really just wish I had a good enough computer and the funds to actually play these games. The grass is greener on the other side but you wouldn't know if the grass is greener or if it actually exists if you don't even know about it or seen it.

Really, ignorance is bliss. So many games that I wanna play and I feel like a unrequited and unworthy lover, pursuing the woman or obejct of my desire, only to find that it is merely transient and worthless. Like an alluring mistress, seducing the men, only to end up cheating them of everything they have. That is what the world is about. That is what consumerism and materialism stands for.

I know I should start seeking a more worthwhile love. Someone that will reciprocate. Someone that will be worthwhile, something that I won't be sorely disappointed at the superficiality of. Something deeper that I can find meaning with. And that, of course, would be God. But curse the body and bless my soul, it is just so hard to do, to tear away one's self from the lush and lavish offerings of this world.

Less is more. The less you have, the more your focus on God will be. For me, it is one thing to observe and state it, another for me to actually practise it. Hypocritical, I know. But humans are meant to be like that. Humans are superficial and hypocritical.

Right now, I just wish my interests would lie elsewhere. I love reading too and there are just so many novels I would love to lose myself in. But yet, it cannot compare to the allure of games and technology. I guess it's also innate in humans to pursue something that they cannot have. To covet. Alas, that is one of the 10 commandments; it's not really "thou shalt not steal" but actually "thou shalt not covet". Thou shalt not covet worldly possessions I guess. For it is true that our woldly treasures will decay to dust but we should store up our heavenly treasures in heaven where dust nor mite can destroy. But no, once again, humans are superficial and shortsighted. It is only through education and experience that can we actually suppress these base and primal traits.

Have you ever dreamt of what you would do if you won a million dollars or something? Buy a new house? A new car? Perhaps donate some to charity out of a show of goodwill? Go on a shopping spree and enjoy the thrill of buying whatever you want (oh how I yearn for this)? I know I have. But ultimately, not only will your earthly possessions leave you when you die, all this money will add more complexity to your life. Just think about it. The more factors and variables you have, the more combinations and permutations you have and the more complex and intricate this web will be.

I've an analogy. I'm sure you're talented or gifted in at least one area of your life. You're rich in this area be it sports, music, logic, intrapersonal, interpersonal, linguistics (the 6 intelligences). The richer you are in that area, the more complex things will be. For me, I'm logic, intrapersonal and linguistics. I'm so full of thoughts and reason that it just becomes so complex for me that sometimes, I have to organize my thoughts carefully and try to present it in a coherent and calculated manner. If you're a social butterfly, perhaps your extensive social network may seem complex and tiring at times. Yes, while one may enjoy the thrill in exercising his/her talents, we can sometimes be overwhelmed by them.

Everything, and I really do mean EVERYTHING, in balance and moderation.

Oh and remember to look at my rather irrelevant title!

I need a tan!

Past 2 days have been super tiring! Just yesterday, I went swimming in a VEERRRY long time and I managed to swim 30 laps!!! The first 20, I rested every 2 laps, was pretty leisurely and just warming up. The last 10, I just swam continuously and it was no big deal! I was pretty surprised I still had it in me despite not swimming for years!!!

Then today, I went gyming with some classmates and I'm totally pooped now... We had subway lunch and walked around Junction 8 until about 5. I saw this really nice Adidas shoes with those orange smoothie stripes and there were sparkles and it was SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO pretty!!!!! I swear it was SOOOO PRETTY!!!!

But no, I've been running out of cash. I just got my allowance last week (for the month) and half of it is gone already. Shit man... Holidays are worse than school days! I need to find a job :)

Now what?

Today. I am officially liberated for a month or so to do whatever I want.

Today was my oral presentation for project work and it went pretty fine until the question and answer. No, the questions weren't sophisticated and challenging, in fact, they were so difficult to answer because they were completely inane. The examiner who asked the question was unfocused, confused, verbose and completely stupid.

This was what I said that he found contentious:
Counter argument: HP bears pagan overtones, magic and witchcraft. HP deemed satanic and denigrates children's religious and moral values.
Our rebuttal: No, actually reinforces it eg moral struggles in characters.
Even then, these pagan elements are sidelined, moral themes are more emphasized.
Finally, actually has more in common with Christianity because both believe in fight for good over evil.
Concept of magic misunderstood, is actually a neutral entity with good and bad elements, can be abused or used for good, is not an absolute evil.

So he asked me this question. He compared HP with other books eg those by Roald Dahl which also contain elements of witchcraft. What's the diff, why don't those get criticized or something like that, I can't exactly remember. I said that the concept of magic is misunderstood in the first place. There's no argument whatsoever because it's based on a completely wrong assumption that magic is satanic. He added something which I couldn't remember and later on, he said that there must be a reason for everything and I said that reason is basically the misunderstanding. He also added that we were looking at it too superficially and he also said that he was a critic of Harry Potter but doesn't read Harry Potter. He also gave us a scornful smirk when we all said we were fans of Harry Potter when he asked. Seriously. And you're calling us superficial. Just because we're fans of Harry Potter, you dismiss us like that. And you call us superficial when we're the one working on this MUTHAF#&#%(*(*!(*(%(^$%#$ing project for ONE YEAR!!!! AAUUUGGHHHH!!!!!!!! I was TRYING not to be too dismissive and sound too patronising but I couldn't help it. Seriously, you should try.

So after that, we went to celebrate by having lunch together as a PW group at the Swensens in town.

I am so FREAKIN HAPPY PW IS OVEERRRR! HALLELUJAH!!!!!!!!!!

Ok ok, short reflection for/about my PW group mates:

I know we all hate PW. No doubt about that. But I'm pretty sure we all took away something, no matter how small or minute it is, we still learnt something about teamwork and meeting deadlines and each other. And the occasionally Fahy talk where we learn something completely irrelevant but nevermind that.

I'm really really glad to say that all of us contributed in one way or another to this project irregardless of quality or quantity, everyone contributed and our project wouldn't have been the way it is without some of the very valuable input from my group members. Gabbie worked tirelessly on the powerpoint, Xavier was extremely resourceful in finding that article that made it to our of our counter-arguments, and Mag for contributing ideas and explaining the lit part so well today.

We've definitely become closer and learnt more about one another and it was really fun hanging out at Starbucks with the other groups and through this whole PW thing, we managed to even come together as a class and help out with each other's project by providing various criticisms (ahem, sonia) and invaluable feedback (ahem, erin *hint hint*). But my gosh... I've spent a hell lot at Starbucks in the past two weeks.

Just yesterday, Singtel came over to install Mio so I have Mio TV now! It's pretty cool but the channels aren't as good as Starhub's. The cool thing is the renting of movies. One movie costs about 5-7 bucks (incl. gst) and some be rented for 24 hours, some 2 days. I just tried buying a channel just now and it was SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO simple!!!! Just choose the channel, press "buy now" and VOILA! The channel appears! It's so easy, it's almost devillish, enticing you to buy channels just like that.

Holidays are here but its going to be over pretty soon. At least I'll occupy my time working :) See how that goes. It'll be interesting to say the least :) Screw WoW...

Look into ze Dark Mirror!

Good job Adriel! You've saved the world once again by killing some evil mad man, rescued the damsel in distress (Syphon Filter: Dark Mirror for the PSP) and survived 10 years of Chinese exams :)

Edit - (LOTSA DRAMA! READ READ!)

Ok, I'm like seriously bored now after playing PSP for some 2 or 3 hours. Maybe 4? Staring at that small screen for that much time is potentially eyesight deteriorating so BEWARE! Gaming on handhelds for LOOOONG hours give you myopia!!! But poor me, I don't have an Xbox 360 so I have to resort to my PSP or DS. Before I go any further and start talking about all this gaming stuff and bore the crap out of you guys, I shall STOP and uhm, talk about, uhm... Something else :)

Ah yes, Chinese!!! Who wants to hear my fabulous Chinese essay :D :D :D Ok, so it goes like this. I did question 2 which was about going on stage and getting some prize and expectantly waiting for some person to come and when I notice that that person is not around, I start to tear (girls... /rollseyes) and then BAM! That person appears at the back of the hall. And then I have to build on it, answering how that person is, why I've been waiting for that person and how I felt.

So here's how the story goes: I actually misread the question at first. Some of the words were too bloody "cheem" and I didn't understand what some of the words were so I wrote that this person was somebody I DIDN'T want to see! It was my teaher who helped me CHEAT to get this academic prize award thingy. So I said something about me bribing him and he agreeing not to turn up on that day but he betrays me and there I am left dumbstruck and not knowing what to do (bu zhi suo cuo), rooted to the ground (something about legs turning to iron and unable to move) because I thought I was screwed.

BUT THEN AT THIS POINT, by some strange miraculous God-given epiphany, I suddenly realised that OH MY SHIT! I'm writing this ALL WRONG! Upon further scrutiny and perusal of the question and after further contemplation and a little struggle to understand the true meaning of the question, I finally realised that this person was supposed to be someone I WANTED to see! So I busted out my trusty correction tape (which I thankfully bought the refill over the weekend, thank God) and whited out the irrelevant parts. This was halfway through the exam and about halfway through my essay so I had to try to make this person whom I wanted to see so badly into somebody whom I didn't want to see!

That by some epiphanous genius moment, I said that this was a special special teacher (a bit too *ahem* special) that gave me too much of an advantage and hence I was to be disqualified from the award. I wrote that the teacher went out on stage and announced to everyone in the auditorium that I wasn't supposed to win this prize and at that moment, I started to cry, my parents rushed forward to console me but I ran past them. Insert more drama and dramatic effects (eg repetition of syntax) and I concluded that my parents came after me and that the most important thing is parental love.

GAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHA! Absolute bullshit and melodrama I know. I amaze myself sometimes with the bullshit I come up with. I don't know how but I always seem to end with some seriously cheesy ending where I highlight some "good" and traditional Chinese "moral" value like fillial piety and love and all that cheese.

Although my Chinese vocab sucks, at least I can borrow some of my English expertise and throw in a trick or two in sentence structure and syntax. I even managed to include a "cheng yu", that's like some four letter idiom thingy. Actually, I don't even know what a "cheng yu" really is! WHATEVER! No more Chinese forever (hopefully)!

I shall also talk about my experience with Motorola and Samsung. I've had the privilege to use the Motorola Razr V6 MAXX and the Samsung U700 12.1 and I'm going to complain about the messaging today.

Motorola uses some special messaging system instead of the usual T9 dictionary. It's kinda like the predictive input system found in other phones except that this one can predict the REST of the word so you just press the "next" button to choose the predicted final word. Thing is, 9 times out of 10, it never predicts the right word and most of the words are too short for me to actually stretch my thumb out to the "right" button to accept the predicted word. Another complaint is that it doesn't remember my stored words for long. Very annoying! But the thing is, it remembers the words I enter manually instead of actually having to create an entry in the dictionary as in the T9 system. Entering smileys is another problem because I have to change the input (via the touch of the * button from predictive input, to numbers, to symbols, to manual text input) and scroll through the list of symbols before I can make a smiley.

Samsung uses the normal T9 dictionary so it's a bit better. It actually remembers the words I store and its all very intuitive. What I detest to bits is that I can only press 0 to advance the word suggestion, I can't go back and forth like I can on the Motorola. Smileys are stored automatically so all I have to do is to press 1 and 1 and it generates a smiley. However, inserting symbols is really no better here, if not worse. Firstly, I have to HOLD onto the * button before it changes input to I don't know what, the best way to get to the symbols menu is to just press the right soft button which opens a menu of possible inputs (including chinese). The symbols menu is just as awful and the best symbols menu has to go to Nokia where you get a whole page of symbols and you scroll around to the symbol you want (using 2,4,6,8 to scroll and 5 to select) so your thumb stays on the number pad and you don't have to use the upper half of the keypad.

It's quite hard to say which is better because on the Samsung, SENDING A BLOODY MESSAGE TAKES MANY MANY BUTTON PRESSES. Here's how it goes, when I want to send a message:

Press once to access textbox
Type message, press again to exit textbox
Press up to access number field
This is where it gets confusing... When you press the number field with the middle button, you get the last 3 recipients, phonebook, and two other irrelevant options. So I press phonebook. Find person I want. Press again to check his/her name. Press left soft key (options), select ADD. Returns to number and text screen. Press left soft key (options) and press send.

This would differ slightly (so slight until I didnt even notice at first) if at the number field, I press the left soft key (instead of the middle button) and select the options, the first one there is "send to". Click "send to". Now the menu this opens up is EXACTLY the same if I were to just press the middle button at the number field. No, it LOOKS the same. The only difference is that instead of "phonebook" (it still displays the last 3 recipients), it displays Recent Recipients which displays a LONGER list of recent recipients. Then I have to check the name and add the name.

In short, it's BLOODY LONGWINDED (no pun intended there, you know,"short", "longwinded"). And you can't even press the "accept call" button to send automatically.

The motorola is A LOT more streamlined and although it includes having to check the recipient, you dont have to open the options menu and choose "add" because you just press the back button and press the "accept call" button to send. Two button presses compared to the "I don't know how many because I can't be bothered to count" button presses of the Samsung. Ok, at least the Samsung has a recent recipient list but the whole tedious process counters any benefits accrued from that "recent recipients" list.

My old Nokia was probably the best at messaging. Now if only someone would just combine Motorola, Nokia and Samsung all in one nice seamless and intuitive messaging interface, I would be very happy indeed. I want: two way scrolling of suggest word (Motorola, I think LG does this too); storing word automatically when I manually key in the word; Nokia's symbols menu; button press to change input instead of holding the button (Motorola > Samsung); recent recipients list (Nokia does this better than Samsung); and less button presses altogether :)

If any of my explanations were unclear and you require visual aid, you can ask me to show you if I see you in real life.

It's raining heavily, the ferocity of lightning and thunder unseen and unheard of; the winds are forceful and unrelenting; the distance, bleak and obfuscated.

The rain heralds the monsoon season, albeit stronger than usual, perhaps portending something ominous - global warming?

At least the times are also, a reminder of joyous holiday, festive celebration, boisterous joy: Christmas (and my birthday).

But right now, all I want is to snug into bed with a book and a green tea latte.

But the dread that PW is, stands and waits at the door: I have to do my I&R.

Chinese As tomorrow.

Don't remind me...

Because ignorance is bliss, acceptance is beautiful.

Resurrection

My blog's been rather dead lately hasn't it? Pretty stale and rotten and dormant. I don't know but it must say something about me, perhaps how I've been more distracted? Maybe moody or something? I don't know. But before the blog posts retreat further, I'll try to blog something verbose today.

I don't know but there's just been a lot happening lately and I wonder why I haven't been blogging. No time? No mood? Just darn lazy? Busy? Perhaps all of that... Maybe my brain has just degenerated after promos and I just don't feel like thinking at all. Maybe blogging just takes too much time and I just wanna play WoW or something. Even then, I wonder why the recent writer's block and lethargy. I guess all my effort has gone into promos. That said, maybe I should talk about promos?

Promos was really full of mixed feelings and emotion. On one hand, I was getting As, Bs and Cs, and on the other, my classmates were gettings U, S, Es. I guess it didn't help that I was genuinely afraid of failing any one subject because some would deem it lacking in tact and rude to whine and complain that I was going to fail econs or something when I pass or score quite well, relatively anyway. Same for geog where I thought I really didn't do well but got A in the end... The thing is, I'm not doing it on purpose. I really do feel that I might fail, I don't do it to brag or spite others. I really was convinced I would fail econs. At least I know one other person who can empathize with me. On the flipside, I also recognize how it feels when that other person does the same. Hint: who got the highest for math?

So it was really diffiult to be happy I got As and Bs and be too overjoyed (not that I should be when it wasn't my best) when everyone else around me was trying to promote and hoping for an S or E. I honestly don't know what I do different. I study just like everyone else, it's not as if I have some potion or elixir to increase my intellect or I wear my lucky underwear or what. I just do what I'm supposed to do... Listen attentively and focus in class and whatever... Even I recognize my flaws like how I suck at doing econs essays, realizing how I can't be writing too much and treating it like a lit or geog essay. I seem to have this itch to write more and more, fill the pages and burn the trees. Well, I'll just say that I agree that your attitude determines your altitude.

I got these results for promos:
Geog - A (71)
Econs - C (57, I think(
Lit - C (55)
GP - B (65)
Maths - C (57, I think)
Chinese - E (45)

Overall, I should've gotten a B, C, C, B, B, E but it says I got A, B, B, B, B, E on my report book. A bit of moderation but at least it looks nicer. Omitting the Chinese of course.

We've been doing a lot of PW this week in preparation of our Oral Presentation (OP) and my group and Geovenn's group met at Starbucks earlier this week and it was quite fun criticizing each other constructively and learning from your classmate's viewpoint. It's really different knowing that they mean well and this wouldn't even be happening if I was in Barker having to deal with guys who don't care and are just mean. So yeah, that's why girls are better than guys in that respect. However, some people just can't take criticism and in fact, has to prevaricate and blatantly LIE to us to make her look better. I shall avoid bitching about anyone on my blog (: Just ask me online (:

But at least it was fun just chilling out at Starbucks and going for lunch and just talking. When people want to bond, I don't think we need silly icebreaker games or whatnot, just play sports and talk! Kinda like Reach Cambridge where we played Frisbee and talked in our free time.

Also spent a lot of money this week on Starbucks (green tea soy latte ftw!) and class steamboat/bbq (another matter altogether, see nanda's blog for pics), and eating out so often. But hey, it's all cool, spending time with your classmates out of class and doing something you don't, and can't, normally do in school. It was quite surprising to learn that some people are smarter than they seem :)

Fahy also announced that he's leaving CJC at the end of this year. When he first broke it to us, the mood was incredibly sombre. It was quiet but the not quiet you experience in his normal class, it was more like a contemplative silence. Even though he can be really intimidating and frightening, he does it for our benefit. Classes won't be the same, then again, his classes never were. He has a way of making you think and you just learn a lot of philosophy and life lessons from him. I can appreciate and understand where he's coming from but ultimately, we're all different and different philosophies suit different people. Despite his austere veneer, he really is extremely nice and kind inside, evidenced in informal situations. Quite like Machiavelli, Fahy really isn't Machiavellian. We're unequivocally going to miss him.

Ok, I think I'm gonna play WoW now (: Or do something more fun (: There, long enough post already!

Try the Green Tea Soy Latte at Starbucks :) It's really smooth and creamy and healthy :) Yum yum :)

And I apologize for the dearth of posts recently... Either been busy or just haven't had the mood to blog. Then again, maybe it's because I just shouldn't be blogging about some of the things I think and feel... Hmmm.

Jesse McCartney

She's no you and Just so you know, you got me Right where you want me because of your Beautiful Soul

Ghahah, that's quite silly. Something I thought of while listeing to Jesse McCartney on my iPod. Anyway, I removed my stitches today which was a rather painless affair and I got a new phone! Gahhaha!

Does it work?

I guess it'll be too late to leave a warning now so I won't :)

Owned by the swing

What a crazy day! I ended up with 3 stitches, a lot of trauma and shock, lots of pain and lost a lot of blood. The cause of it all? A swing. I'll post a picture of the little operation (courtesy of Cherie) when blogger works. Be forewarned, it's really bloody, probably worse than you girls' periods. But it was really fun going through such an experience.

The little cut in the my right eyebrow was about a cm wide and 2 or 3 cm long. I'm not quite sure about the dimensions because I couldn't really see it but it looked like that from pictures. The doc said it was a minor cut and tried to use glue to seal it at first so he tried to stop the bleeding but applying pressure on it which meant that he was PRESSING down on my cut. So blood kept flowing and flowing and this happened for like 5-10 minutes. I'm not quite sure because I was hurting like shit and had to deliberate my breathing. After a while, he couldn't stop the bleeding (I wonder why...) and had to resort to stitches. The only pain I felt was the anaesthesia injection and after that, the sewing didn't hurt at all and I was so amazed, I was laughing to myself!

So I've got a 7 day MC, the longest I ever had, but I'll still go to school. My only problem now is showering without water contacting the wound.

True liberation? Never!

SO... Now that promos are over, I was kinda expecting life to be much better, perhaps a whole lot rosier and much more fun and exciting but I fail to practice what I preach and that is to expect the unexpected or just not to expect anything. I guess under that much immense exam stress, I was looking for some sort of utopia.



I've been wanting to lose myself in so many of these game worlds but I can neither seem to stick to one for too long (WoW as a case in point) or buy that many games. I really wanna play some of the new games coming out for the PC but then I'll have to buy a new graphic card which costs quite a bit. And then I have to buy the games which costs quite a bit as well! Oh well, life is getting really expensive these days. Maybe I should just stick to studying. Oh, how about books? There are SOOOO many I want to read and I'm not reading at a pace fast enough to keep up and it just seems intimdating after awhile.



Anyway, I've been up to some things lately...



I caught Resident Evil Extinction last monday (was it last monday? It seemed like quite a while ago!) and I thoroughly enjoyed it. Who doesn't love a good zombie movie? All the typical and cliched scares and being a lit student, I kinda picked up on them a lot earlier. Here's a tip: If the scene lingers on for too long after it seems to have been over, something, SOMETHING, is definitely going to happen. Lotsa other stuff to PC and it's really quite fun exercising your knowledge and applying the stuff you learn in school :)



So RE: E is the sequel to RE: Nemesis where Alice (an allusion to Alice in Wonderland, don't get me started about the characterization), the main character, is kicking zombie ass and hunts down corporate scum from the Umbrella corporation. The plot isn't too convoluted or anything, keeping things relatively simple but the twists are nice and very interesting. All the major set pieces are loaded with explosions and gunfire and the rampaging of the zombies that create a really chaotic but gratifying and exciting battle. One set piece even delves into the mutant powers of Alice. What makes it all the more scary is the depiction of reality. Because Resident Evil is portrayed as a technological dystopia, you get the sense that this could really happen in real life should genetic engineering go bad. All in all, it's very thrilling and full of suspense. I had a ball guessing and anticipating the scary parts and restraining the urge to jump in my seat. Be warned: If you aren't ready, you WILL jump in your seat :D

Friday was CJ's Open House and Erika, Barathi and I were DJing and damn was it a lot of fun! I swear it was really great playing music and crapping even though the sound was only limited to the quadrangle and not to the whole school. Very very fun reading out song dedications and just bantering. Erika and Barathi were doing the DJing at first until it started to rain at about 3 where we then went to the auditorium to watch the perfomances. The rain subsided and the DJing continued from 4-6 and I was alone for the most part so I had to DJ while Erika and Barathi went MIA. It was really very fun just playing music and having a monologue with myself until Erika and Gabrielle came along and we started talking about promos. I would love to go DJing again :D Here's a random trivia: the MOST requested song was "The Way I Are" by Timbaland.

Remember kids, expect the unexpected! Always do.

Lol

Doesn't the toilet look so inviting :) Almost made me wanna pee at the bus stop :) No I'm just kidding. Hahahahah!

My life sucks....

***

"Go on a holiday? With you all? Why just being away from you is a holiday in itself!"

No I'm not going to tell my mum that... I don't want to be kicked out of the house. Not until I have a stable income anyway.

Smell the Azerothian air

I'm less than 24 hours away to sweet sweet freedom. Well not quite because I'm reminded that we still have PW (@$&@#^%$@#^%&!!!!) and Chinese As (double #%#%&^%&@(^!!!!!!) but nevertheless, there's no need to think about Geog, Econs, Lit, Math or GP for a few months which leaves me with more time to, no, not study Chinese or do PW, but to play play PLAY!!!!!!!

I'm currently in limbo here. On the eve of my final hurdle, I don't really feel like playing or doing much. I just don't feel like committing my time to much so I'm just slacking around now. Reading stuff on the internet, watching videos (gaming videos like WoW) and scouring the forums and stuff. Just slacking and reading....

I don't feel like doing math at all because I hate to be frustrated should I stumble on some question or suddenly panic because I don't know how to do some question which would make me feel even more worse from now to tomorrow. So, I'll just leave everything for tomorrow's paper, panic during the paper itself and forget it all after that. Yeah man!

Okay, lit p4 was quite okay but I'm just hoping for the best. Arts subjects are very subjective so I can't really gauge how well I'll do or not. I wrote 3 and 1/3 pages for BNW essay and 2.5 for the Unseen. Overall, pretty satisfied even though I rushed the last part of the Unseen and didn't finish the conclusion. Hope I can pass! Nevermind, fail then fail. If I retain, I get to enjoy orientation again and defer NS :)

I'm like so totally looking forward for promos to be over. Just enjoying being teased this very moment now. So let's see, what's to do after promos:

1) Play (duh!). Play World of Warcraft, of course; play Guild Wars Nightfall; play Grand Theft Auto: Vice City Stories and finish Liberty City Stories; play POKEMON; play Metal Gear Solid: Portable Ops; play all other unfinished games like Command and Conquer 3 but I foresee WoW being the endless and all-consuming timesink

2) Read all my untouched novels and yet to be bought books. I've always wanted to read the Bourne novels and those Forgotten Realms fantasy novels. Oh and Halo novels too.

3) Also have to read Time magazine which comes weekly. Oh and I haven't been reading my Readers Digest and National Geographic.

4) Go gym

5) Play yet-to-be-released games like Star Wars Battlefront Renegade Squadron and Syphon Filter: Logan's Shadow. And yet-to-be-bought games like Daxter.

6) Go shopping

7) Watch movies

8) Read more stuff

9) But there's still PW and Chinese to do... Ugh...

In the end, I think there's no need to do anything else except to play WoW. But a change of scenery would be nice.

Apathy is bliss

Remember this icebreaker game where you're supposed to put an adjective in front of your name and the first letter of the adjective has to be the same as the first letter of your name like Crazy Calvin and then people are supposed to remember it and so on? Right. Next time, I'll be Apathetic Adriel. For some strange reason, I always thought of weird stuff like "acrimonious" and "alliterating" (not exactly an adjective but whatever) but apathetic is here to stay. I'm so apathetic, I didn't even realise it!

I thank God that the bulk of my exams are over, with just 2 papers left. I really ought to be studying but my gosh, I don't feel like doing anything but play. In fact, I've been playing A LOT this whole week while studying! I completed Marvel Ultimate Alliance on Tuesday, after Lit; I played CS, I played C&C3, I played GTA: LCS! It's a been bloody long time since I've touched those games!!! I really can't wait for the exams to be over. As long as I can pass, I'm fine. Screw the As! Gone is the Hermione Granger, I've become more "guyish" in that sense. Alas, that is why I wrote the first paragraph of this post. Because I'm so apathetic now that I just don't care about getting anything better than a pass and just immensely looking forward to playing and doing whatever the heck I want.

This newfound freedom is simply titillating and I am loathe to let go. Give me my life back! Once promos are over, "Hell and night must bring this monstrous birth to the world's light." (Iago, at the end of Act 1, Othello) (BWAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHA!) (See! Study so much Othello until I'm influenced... Now this reminds me of John the Savage who quotes Lit texts -.-)

Give the blue pill already!

Apathy apathy apathy :)

THE WHIZ!

I suggest all you girls, and guys too, take a look at this website: http://www.whizbiz.com.au/?gclid=CLL-uMzU4I4CFQsvYAod02YlSw It's advertising some product called the Whiz; I'm not gonna tell what it's about, you should go find out by yourself, it's hilarious I swear. Oh and check out the Tips section! HAhahah, "how to use your Whiz!", "Keeping your Whiz clean!"!!!

Geog was good. At first. I breezed through the human DRQs. I thought there were 5 human drqs and was pleasantly surprised to find that the 5th one was actually the physical DRQ and I was pretty ahead of time. I had like 15 minutes extra to do my essays and was pretty happy then I realised I spent too much time on part A of the essay, the one about how a government can influence population dynamics, and had very little time to do the other essays. I couldn't finish the physical essays but I hope I can scrape through overall.

Like, oh my gawsshhh... I am like so totally a nerd you know...

Maybe I want to remain this way?

The way that I always am,

have been.

Will be?

LF39M AQ

Looking for 39 minutes for AQ

GP sucked ass man... I didn't even have time to finish AQ and all the compre questions were "answer in your own words".

Compo was quite okay. I took my time to create an essay outline and plan albeit rather skimpy but I covered a wide range of issues. My topic was, "The dangers of the internet are exaggerated." Do you agree? And yes I agreed. A lot of people thought of porn and of course I did but that point about porn and gambling and drugs was really just a small point, under domestic dangers. I talked about cyber-terrorism, religious fundamentalism and finally, why we exaggerate and how it is the mass media that exaggerates although that last point kinda sucked. It was really like a rebuttal sheet, I pointed out the real dangers like cyber-terrorism and religious fundamentalism and said how it ultimately our responsibility and discretion to guard against such influences.

Compre just sucked. So bad I don't have anything else to say about it.

And AUUUGH! I want promos to be over sooner! I WANNA PLAY WOW!!!!!!!!

Just for the record, here's Asphodal, my 51 Undead Mage, casting a Frostbolt. Specced frost which wasn't such a good idea... Oh well! I've just AoE grind till 60 before respeccing to Fire (:

One more day to promos

Notice that my wishlist has suddenly gotten bigger? It's small little things like these (besides liberation, freedom and joy) that motivate me to persevere through the promos in seeing some sort of tangible reward; it's like dangling a carrot on a stick in front of me and though very infantile in nature, it works.

But if you knew what I've been going through, perhaps I could be forgiven for such an insult on my dignity...

This period has been extremely stressful and trying, not just mentally but a lot of other things as well that I prefer not to disclose... I've never been so tired, so exhausted, so close to giving up; so much so I lay in a foetal position with a pounding and burdened head, confused and frustrated. Saying that this just sucks is underestimating and euphemistic...

Really, I've never been this stressed before and just pulled and stretched apart by all these various pressures, commitments and obligations, some self-imposed. I guess God is trying me, challenging me, because whatever doesn't kill me will make me stronger.

And it's times like these that I need happy happy music the most hence the rather upbeat tune of Ashley Tisdale's Last Christmas and I'm looking forward to High School Musical 2. And if I may add, Sharpay's my favourite character because she's the villain and manipulates with so much style and flair, not even Paris Hilton comes close.

From all my hard work (HAH!) and troubles, I'm quite proud of this minor accomplishment of reading ALL, ALL, yes, ALL, EVERY, single reading for Economic Globalization for Geog. I hope I do well for economic geog but the human geog paper spans across population geog as well which I have not revised at all. After reading and studying all my econ geog notes, I will concede and explicitly state that it is just IMPOSSIBLE to ever remember that much detail and statistics to quote in the exam. Just for the record, Nike employs 650,000 workers worldwide and the FDI TNCs contribute make up 20% of the GDP of most countries (I imagine some people will go HUH!? at all these acronyms). And there is barely scratching the tip of the iceberg, comparable to the tiny bits and detritus that the wind picks up from the iceberg which then evaporates as soon as it leaves the iceberg. Those stats are THAT pathetic...

I'm investing less time and effort in physical geog, just reading the notes and stuff, because I also have to study population geog which is pretty damn thick as well. To all those who want to take Geog (or any humanities for that matter like history) at JC level, be forewarned and forewarned again that your notes for just ONE topic is thicker than the secondary school textbook. And with a lot less pictures at that too so it's going to be A LOOOOOT of reading. Speaking of which, I feel that my eyesight is deteriorating... Whatever, I think I look quite cute and geeky in glasses and when I roll my eyes, the effect with be more exaggerated! HAhahahah!

O levels didn't even come this close. Promos is just crazy 5h!7... How much worse can As be? Hahahah... I am sleep-deprived and many-many-many-things-deprived. Pathetic me... I'm turning into an emokid already...

Oh and I have to credit PW for successfully exacerbating and contributing to the state of my (lack of) wellbeing. Coming home at 7 to MORE PW after discussing PW in school and going at it non-stop, with just fruit and water for dinner (in retrospect, it was a good diet), till 12am was just wonderful... But THANK GOD (REALLY THANK GOD) Fahy approved of it, commenting that it was pretty good and we didn't have to revamp and rewrite everything as I had previously feared and envisioned. From the slowest group to the fastest, I just thank God the onslaught is finally over! But there's still Oral Presentation of course... Damn that...

Yes I know, I've finally blogged and updated. Tomorrow's an off day for us because promos starts this Friday with GP. I'm quite nervous for GP my performance is erratic, sometimes I do well, sometimes I don't.

I shall commit everything to God, amen to that.

A friend

"One of the principal functions of a friend is to suffer (in a milder and symbolic form) the punishmentts that we should like, but are unable, to inflict upon our enemies." - Aldous Huxley's Brave New World, Chapter 12, page 147.

... and so much else too...

Almost finished PW!

Last few days have been nothing but stressful, hectic, full of lethargy and just plain SUCKY! I've been so stressed, pimples have been popping up and my face has been extra oily. Damn... PW sucks... Seriously... Ugh... Blog more soon!

In the arms of an Angel

Spend all your time waiting for that second chance
For the break that will make it ok
There's always some reason to feel not good enough
And it's hard at the end of the day
I need some distraction oh beautiful release
Memories seep from my veins
They may be empty and weightless and maybe
I'll find some peace tonight

In the arms of an Angel fly away from here
From this dark, cold hotel room, and the endlessness that you fear
You are pulled from the wreckage of your silent reverie
You're in the arms of an Angel; may you find some comfort here

So tired of the straight line, and everywhere you turn
There's vultures and thieves at your back
The storm keeps on twisting, you keep on building the lies
That you make up for all that you lack
It don't make no difference, escaping one last time
It's easier to believe
In this sweet madness, oh this glorious sadness
That brings me to my knees

In the arms of an Angel far away from here
From this dark, cold hotel room, and the endlessness that you fear
You are pulled from the wreckage of your silent reverie
In the arms of an Angel; may you find some comfort here

You're in the arms of an Angel; may you find some comfort here

On sale!

Selling my PSP!!!! Selling my PC games and Xbox games as well! Interested parties, email me at adrielch@gmail.com :)

Quote from previous post

"The following are on sale: Civilizations IV (PC), Star Wars Battlefront II (PC), Splinter Cell Chaos Theory (PC), Splinter Cell Pandora Tomorrow (PC), The Sims 2 (PC), The Sims 2: University (PC). I have Star Wars Jedi Knights: Jedi Academy as well but I don't think anybody will want it. Halo for the PC and Need for Speed Underground is still on loan with somebody form church but heck about it. I have Star Wars Knights of the Old Republic 1 and 2 (PC) SOMEWHERE but I know I have it...I would also like to sell Ghost Recon Advanced Warfighter for the Xbox as well! And Battlefield 2: Modern Combat for the Xbox! And Mercenaries for the Xbox!"

Oh, I'll sell LotR: Battle for Middle-Earth 2 too!

Was looking through my REACH Cambridge pics to send to Mrs Sng for the school magazine. Then I realised that perhaps, I am not so fortunate after all, having to experience this anguish of having something so nice and wonderful being taken away from me. Although the last few days there helped me get over it more easily because I was looking forward to getting my skin cured. Sigh, RC... Like a forgotten passionate lover from the past.

Dialogue with self

Adriel 1: So I'm like really confused and annoyed because I'm confused and even more annoyed because of both. I've got so much to think about, so many things to ask myself, reflect on, and I have to do this while studying and juggling basic life, work and play each and everyday. It sucks really... I wanna talk to someone but in the end, I can only really talk to just one person, share my secrets with Her, and only say so much because well, it is Her after all...

Adriel 2: Well, you should know that you can share all your secrets with God! Talk to him! He knows your every thought and desire and need and he wants you to share them with him so go ahead!

A1: But if He knows everything I'm going to say and do, whats the point of me even talking to Him? Even if I do talk, he's not going to reply like a real physical human being.

A2: Ah, but you always know (at least you say you do) what She feels and thinks and you always wait for her to tell you what She is feeling; you want her to admit and talk to you, same way He works. And God does not reply like any other human being because if he did, he wouldn't be God! Look to yourself, look to the Bible (of which you, or I, have not been doing so very often) and there you'll find your answers and replies.

A1: I know to do all these things (well duh, I am talking to myself after all! Haha!) but I'm just so busy with work and studying and everything. Studying everyday (well, I haven't been in the past few days) and just trying to focus on one aspect of my life at a time: work, friends, family, self (fun), church, God, knowledge, etc etc. It's ridiculous really, just trying to cram all those things in 24 hours thats why I try to integrate a few or more of these things together like maybe work can be fun and knowledge too. I just realise I need to boost the social bar, kinda like the sims. I can't remember what happens when a Sim gets a low "social" bar...

A2: Hmm, well if you can't remember, I can't too! But I'm pretty sure you get a bit cranky and talk to yourself like what you're doing now. Haha, then again, you talk to yourself all the time you silly boy (and by implication, I call myself silly too! Oh how silly!). It really is quite amusing talking to yourself :) Oh Adriel, you're just like that: reserved and guarded at first. Not necessarily a good thing but hey, it's just you. And this is where we think about nature versus nurture.

A1: Yeah, I realised that I have many different facades and it's just so hypocritical. The biggest hypocrite is one who says that he can be one but others cannot be a hypocrite. I think I'm worse than that: I don't even know I'm the biggest hypocrite. I'm so insecure about what I think and say. It's just ridiculous. I philosophize and think up all this crap and for all I'm worth, I unknowingly criticize myself and live in blissful ignorance. Oh what bliss ignorance is... Brave New World and all that stuff about knowledge and true happiness? Who cares about true happiness when it in itself is so subjective? I really do think ignorance is bliss. Perhaps this whole intellectual facade is just a pretentious excuse, a farce for something pathetic that lies beneath...

A2: Yeah. I (or you) always worry that you're really not that intellectual and sometimes I really do think that I (or you) are not! It's just a show. A reason to be a loner? A geek? An anti-social nerd? You can't handle the real world and the people out there so you try to indulge your insecurity by pretending to be better than you actually are. Don't worry, it's very human to be insecure and well, true security comes from God.

A1: Oh aye, if only it was that easy to find this "true security" of divine proportions. Now if only God opened a store selling all his miracles and grace. Pardon the blasphemy but honestly, things would be much simpler that way and what then would our purpose in life be? Cheat codes spoil a game, it makes the game so easy, there's no point in playing them. That is why life is a challenge; it's like a game, it's so fun you wanna thank God for such an amazing design and He makes it such that you never lose! He sees you through the end as long as you believe in Him and accord Him the credit! Again, pardon the blasphemy for comparing such worldly and material things to divine greatness, it really is injustice.

A2: You're doing all the talking and answering! You might as well write another dialogue with yourself. You'll have A1(a) and A1(b)! No point in having me already right?

A1: Neh, I'm just too lazy to go to the next line.

A2: Well, relax. I'm sure you'll have all the time (or not) to think when promos are over. Right now, focus on exams and lose some sleep. Okay fine, maybe you need more sleep. You've got bad eyebags there my dear...

A1: "My dear"!? Loving yourself indeed.

EDIT - What makes us human is that we need to love and be loved. Perhaps I am lacking in that, hmmm.... So because of that, I'm left with only myself to love and be loved :D

A2: Right, whatever. Just focus on promos, get one big obstacle out of the way and deal with the relatively smaller ones. Certainly promos is a bigger priority as compared to your other commitments. Whatever it is, if it makes you feel better, know that EVERYONE ELSE in this world is experiencing the same thing. Well, at least your friends and comrades. Rely on your daily devotionals to see you through; talk to Him, lift up your worries, sorrows and troubles to Him, He would want you to!

A1: Wise words my not-so-alter-ego! I'm getting bored talking to you (myself) and I shall go sleep soon. I wonder what I have to bring to school tomorrow... UGH, waking up at 7 for school at 8.30. I think I'll pack my bag in the morning.... As usual, I doubt I'll get enough sleep. PFFT... I'm such a big, sleeping to no end.

A2: Oh right, shut up already. You gotta go sleep! My, or your, eyes hurt too so go get some shut eye. I'm sure it'll help.

A1: Yeah, I'm sure I've sufficiently freaked those reading this by now... BOO! I must be going crazy! Hahahahha! *evil laughter*

A2: You're a real nut you know that -.-' Get outta here already!!!

***

A little slice of what goes on in my head. It's quite amusing really :) That's what I mean when I say I entertain myself (no, don't think dirty!). And I know some random people visit my blog, people whom I don't even know, and hey, I welcome ya'll! As long as I provide some sort of amusement to you, feel free to read and muse about my writings. I'm really quite silly, hahahah. I like a good laugh sometimes and the biggest joke of all is me :)

No, I am NOT insane...

Then again, maybe a little bit :D Hehe!

How on earth!?

How did I manage to talk about the relation between the physical and metaphysical from the quote "The best things in life are free"? My GP question became some sort of KI shit!

On a superficial level, the quote would mean that feelings of love and joy that are derived from non-fiscal sources are known as the “best things in life”. What I believe the quote to mean in principle is that there are many things money cannot buy and some of those things that are the best in your life are those that we create by ourselves and from within, for example our feelings, love and friendship. I would disagree with the quote on a superficial level because: firstly, it cannot be properly defined what “the best things in life” is due to the subjectivity of it; secondly, even going by its traditional definition of “love, peace and joy”, one still has to pay for them one way or another, directly or not, fiscal or not. However, on a principle level, I agree that our feelings that we create is the “best thing”. It is not the material gain itself that makes us happy but rather, the feeling we create from it. For example, when I buy a new game, it is not the game that directly makes me happy but it is because I desire it and with that desire fulfilled, I develop feelings of joy. The greater the desire fulfilled, the greater the feeling. It is what comes from within that decides what makes us happy but more often than not, how often is it that we can create something out of nothing? Due to the materialistic nature of society, we often require physical things to create feelings. This holds true even in the traditional sense of the quote: a parent experiences joy watching his baby, the joy is created from the fulfillment of some innate desire. One simply cannot conjure feelings of anything from nowhere and there lies the correlation between the physical and the metaphysical, that both are ultimately mutually dependant on each other. This redefines what “free” means. Thus, upon further analysis, even on a principle level, nothing in life is free because we cannot create feelings of something out of nothing.

I can't do quotes... I think too much about them...

Othello is such a raunchy play

The joy of all despair is that when you lose something, you learn to appreciate it more, when something bad happens, you grow stronger. Despite suffering, the end result is that you learn from it. I know the poem sucked, I think I got carried away at one part and wrote the wrong thing but whatever. Just trying it out.

Corinne May's latest album the Beautiful Seed is nice. Have a listen for yourself if you can. It gets a bit repetitive though; most tracks sound the same after a while and I can hardly make any distinction. Then again, it's probably just me and my untrained ear.

Random thought: what is the deeper meaning and purpose of interhuman relationships?
Man, I ask myself such philosophical questions...

Just as an added random thought, here are the movies which I watched on the plane to and fro London: 300 (M18 indeed), Disturbia (cliched but still exciting), Shrek the Third (not worth the money like everybody said), Next (really cool! Playing with Time is very fun) and Blades of Glory (I didn't hear the dialogue at the end because they took away the headphones but it was still nice). Yeah, I watched some movies which haven't been released which potentially saves me $19... Sweet... I know :)