figured this was a good reason to finally post on here again...

today.

i feel like i have neglected this blog for so long that i don't know where to start..

do i try to catch up on the last 6ish months???

yikes... 

maybe next week.

(ain't nobody got time for that this week)

so, i will start with today.

i had a perfect slow solo 5 mile run this morning.

running is always just what i need to start my day.

i also had a chance to go on a little date to Scheels

with my Beckley boy.

he was in a great mood

and it was the most fun.

so, here's to today...

and now on to tomorrow...

yesterdays will have to wait for now.

a post from YGYHF... brave?

i posted this on my other blog

( you've got your hands full )

this morning:

i fell asleep exhausted on the couch last night around 10...

an early night for me.

i woke up around 5 and went into bed...

but, i had a feeling i could not shake.

it is a feeling i have had numerous times over the past few months.

i tried for an hour to fall asleep,

but i couldn't shake those feelings.

i thought, 

as i have each time this feeling has come, 

give it a day or a couple days...

don't act on that feeling now...

don't give up yet...

"you can do it, caisa"

but, then i thought...

maybe i need to act in the moment

when those feelings are there

and not when i get sucked back into my busy life...

when i hardly have time to think between 

3 kids, laundry, coaching, running, church, dishes, etc...

so, here i am sitting at my computer at 6AM.

to borrow a line from one of my all time favorite movies, You've Got Mail,

"closing the shop is the brave thing to do."

so, as i sit in my quiet house with a cold DDP, some candy corn

my own thoughts and a few tears...

i know in my heart & gut that 

"closing" You've Got Your Hands Full is the brave thing to do.

as i mentioned, 

this thought of stopping this blog 

has entered my mind more than once over the past few months.

it comes in moments when life feels overwhelming and i am exhausted.

i have declared to my husband "i am stopping the blog" more than once.

but, then undoubtedly, 

i always get the nicest message/email from one of my sweet readers...

a mom with her hands full who is is touched and grateful for something i said or shared.

and, it is the buoy to keep me going for a bit.

but, that thought and feeling that maybe i should stop always comes back.

a virtual friend that i met via this blog and instagram,

often tells me that i have "a big heart for other moms"

such a compliment.

but, i have a bigger heart for my boys.

and, i am feeling like they need more of my heart.

my beck just woke up (it's now 6:20)...

i heard him saying from the top of the stairs 

"mom come lay by me"

as often happens at least once a night.

so, i snuggled in bed next to him

and he instantly put his arm around me

(the tears were streaming now)

as i often do, i asked him 

"beck, do you know how much mommy loves you?"

to which he always responds "too much"

as i think about all that i have done with this little blog...

and all that i still want to do with it...

i think "don't give up, caisa".

but, i don't think i am giving up.

i am being brave.

i am brave enough to admit that i can't do it all.

i am brave enough to say that i don't want to do it all.

i am brave enough to realize that i have my limits.

i am brave enough to walk away from something that still has potential 

(at least in my eyes, anyway!).

i am brave enough to give "too much" of my heart to motherhood.

so, although i love this blog,

(for so many reasons!)

i love those little sleeping boys "too much".

i'm not sure if this is a forever "good-bye"

or a "see ya later"...

maybe in a couple months i'll be back blogging at YGYHF...

not sure.

but for now,

i need to say "bye bye".

i am going to give a lot more attention to my personal blog again

(which has suffered greatly over the past 6 months)...

so, please follow me and my boys over at

ABC + 3

there will be some aspects of YGYHF that i will simply move over to that blog.

ABC + 3 is more focused on our daily life...

we would love to have you follow along!

i will also be stopping my

@yourhandsfullblog

instagram account.

but, would love for you to follow my personal account

@caisajill !

one of my twins is crying,

so off i go...

"onward, brave mother, onward"!

(as i am about to hit "publish"

i am hoping that i don't regret acting in the moment...

but, for now i'm following my gut

and going to snuggle on the couch 

& watch some Blues Clues with my boys)

Beckley Drew Brown

today,

after catching Beck in the act of doing something

"naughty" when he didn't think I could see him...

he said to me:

"mom how did you see me do that?

can you see everything?

you are kinda yike Heavenly & Father.

but, i'm not yike Heavenly & Father.

i'm just yike Beckley Drew Brown."

i love Beckley Drew Brown!

memorial day 2013

it was a fabulous day!

(besides the migraine part... bleh!)

i tried to describe the meaning of the day to Beck...

it didn't go so well.

(he was worried about who died...

and something about us "sinking"??)

so, i said

"well, today is a holiday!

and daddy doesn't have to work on holidays!"

then, he got all concerned/sad/upset and said

"but daddy needs to go to work 

and make money

so that we can go to Bawaii!"

Adrian & Beck

went boating our on the lake

in our neighborhood

while I chased after them pushing the babes in the stroller.

i LOVE summers in Daybreak!

we spent the evening at Adrian's parents house,

and the boys had the most fun!

i got my summer lights up...

and they make me SO HAPPY!

today was a great start to our summer!

The Twin's First Birthday Party is featured on Apartment Therapy today!

so so fun!

click here to see the feature.

and, click here to see my full post on the party.

and, if you are here from Apartment Therapy,

please check out my other blog...

You've Got Your Hands Full 

- a blog for moms of twins or lots of littles.

THANKS!

Happy Mother's Day Mom!

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY MOM!

love you.

-Caisa

Motherhood Series

If you haven't already seen my 

Motherhood Series,

go check it out on my other blog

Your Hands Full.

you need to.

some AMAZING moms sharing their thoughts on motherhood.

National Superhero Day!

today is National Superhero day!

this guy is our superhero today!

in less than a week,

he will do his first Half Ironman!!!

Adrian is doing the Saint George Half Ironman on May 4th.

A half ironman is:

first, a 1.2 mile swim

then, a 56 mile bike,

& lastly, a 13.1 mile run.

for, a total of 70.3 miles!!!

we are so proud of "our superhero"

for all the hard work & training that he has done over the past few weeks.

we can't wait to cheer him on this weekend...

"GO DADDY GO!!!"

grateful

these two scenes/pictures

from my run yesterday morning

made me so grateful to be

an American,

a runner,

and a person of faith.