Isn't it sad that your love one lies you to in your face and does not feeling a slight tint of remorsefulness?
Thats how disappointed I feel right now.  I really feel that these 3 years of my prime is wasted on a man that is never going to keep his promise at all.... Now I do not know when he is lying, when he is telling the truth. How many % is the true, how many % is a lie. I hate to say that I know this man like coming 11 years of my life, spending 3 years solid with him, and now i start to feel more and more distant to him.... How the irony...

I have been very emotional since yesterday. Sitting by the side of my bed, hoping that you'll just drop by to give me a hug... but i guess... sometimes. u just dun bother as much as before..... words without actions is useless....

today i had a long day chatting with my dear friend Marv and also singing  karaoke with him for 3 hours. Its nice chatting with him because he always make things sound so simple and uncomplicated.Straight into my face and always telling me whats right and wrong. I really appreciate it friend.

Few hours before typing this entry, I found out that my ex ex has found a new girlfriend. Though he should have gotten a new girlfriend long long long ago, since I've long moved on also... but.. somehow, although i always tell myself that one day, when he finds himself a cute girlfriend, that will be the day that i can sincerely be friends with him once again.however....at that instant when I found out that he has a new girlfriend....I did not feel as happy as i thought i would be... 

I am happy for him because he has definitely found himself a more suitable girlfriend than I am. But I kinda feel sad also... because... I also know that now......... haix nvm.

Its just so amazing, how a girl can have a love one in mind yet like having in mind that there is just this guy, somewhere out there that still loves her deeply and is waiting there for her... even though she do not have feelings for that guy anymore... but its just...a sudden moment of emptiness that she feels.....when she knows that... now.. no one is waiting....

To ex ex: Glad to know that you have a new girlfriend. Hope that life can be better for you and really I wish you all the best in your future endeavor. Really want to thank you for once being part of my life. Thank you for waiting... sorry I did not turn back because.... somehow.. we are just too different....

People with different dreams cannot walk in the same path. Even though  our path has met at a certain place, for a certain time, but when people take different lengths of stride, somehow they walk a different path in life all together..... It sucks.. but thats life. =D

i really hate u for spoiling my 1st day of cny. All guys are the same. really. I really want to have a guy who will always be there for me when i need him. Who will always think of me and wan me to be there with him whenever he goes out.... Not leave me out on festive seasons like this when i work so hard to do my dissertation for the whole day and in the end, things turn out like this on the 1st day of my chinese new year. Last year, I was pang seh, this year was no different. Y do i always have to have shitty feelings on this day...... 

this phrase is really true, a guy will treat u the best when he is chasing u... when he's got u... hmm... things change. haix.

Suck balls man. I'll finish up my dissertation and score well for it coz... this is my only hope now......

my saturday was fun.

Im glad that my saturday was spent w you. It was fun sitting down together to play games, chat and stuff. Now, i can partially understand why u would do somethings that i never did... it was something fresh, and new to me. =)

For one moment today, I had...:

Mixed feelings, mixed emotions. Somehow, today when i saw him, i felt one thing- fear. 

1) i was shock to see him, it was really out of the blue, and really unexpected.

2) i was afraid that you'll get upset or something.(which u were? grrr)

3)Im certain that now, all i want ,is to be with you and i want to enjoy every moment we have and spend together.... thats y... somehow im trying to be more tolerant and accept you as you are.

I hope, somehow things will work out right for us... i really do. =)

Beauty lies in the eye of the beholder....

Though this phrase is true to a certain extend but still I've got to diet and start losing some weight to keep myself attractive.

I hate the feeling that I have to stick to a few angles when taking photos else "My double chin can be seen clearly" or... "my cheeks are getting chubbier".

Will be sticking to my protein diet. Though it'll take months to lose weight but its at least  its a form of healthy dieting?

JY! All things are possible thru christ.... 

Shirleen is gonna be slim and pretty.- amen. =)

Its awesome that I've finally passed 1.03 and will be going on to 2.01 for my bike lessons.. Im excited  that school is starting tomorrow... though i have to wake up early but i guess its just that little bit of fun that i'll be having chatting w my friends and all that makes me happier than slacking at home all the way....Somehow Im a little sad that my results aren't as ideal and I pray that My daddy will guide me through and help me get my second upper class honors at least....

The kind of friends we mix with will make us what kind of people.... I should really start attending Gen Rev and mix around with more people from church. Seriously, I think it'll change us somehow.....

I dunno y is it so difficult.... Maybe I should learn to expect less from u. A small wish of wanting to travel for a short trip, even if it was just 1 night to batam, i'll be happy, but u just rather spend the money playing arcade. seriously. Fuck arcade... I can always go malaysia with marvin or serene.. but i always wished that you would be there with me instead coz u are the No.1 person i wanna and dream of travelling with... but.... guess now i'll have to drop that thought...


Nvm... seriously. i'll tell myself.... to expect lesser... thats how we grow up....