OK

FINE!

I got her chocolate ice cream. You Happy?!!!

Great Things About Being in the Military

(Yes, I am heavily medicated which may be why I'm feeling sooo positive right now!!!)

Free issues of "Military Spouse" and "Reader's Digest" (yay!) available at the library. (Gifts from Grateful Americans!)

Job security in frightening economic times.

Free Health Care (including Tonsillectomies) and Free Prescriptions.

Free rent and free utilities! (If you live on-base. All your utilities may not be covered off-base.)

The BEST Pediatric Dentist I've ever met. (Sorry, co-resi's.)

Doug doesn't have to run his own practice or pay for mal-practice insurance.

Opportunity to live and work over-seas (awesome!) without Doug needing additional schooling or certifications. (Although I may have been a little freaked out about moving to Japan, I'm very glad that we did!)

We're friends with real-life Spies and Fighter Pilots. (But don't let that make you feel bad about your job. I'm sure Tax Accounting is thrilling too!)

No Sales Tax on anything you buy on-base.

Great schooling provided by the Department of Defense. (Except don't get me started on the school lunch program with 40 different ala cart desserts available; which one particular 1st grader was taking full advantage of without his mother's knowledge or consent.)

The ability to let your kids play outside unsupervised in a safe environment. Just like I did when I was a kid; but would never allow in Rhode Island or San Francisco.

Lot's of neighbors with strong religious values including; Mormons, Catholics, Baptists, Born-Agains, Protestants, Jews, and Muslims. (Can't say I've met any Wiccans yet, but you never know!)

and did I mention free Reader's Digest?




P.S. It is now officially my birthday month! You may commence with the gift sending.

What the Doctor SHOULD Have Said...

Dr: "Now Emily, I've told you about the pain, right? The terrible, horrible, no good, excruciating pain?"

Em: "Yes Doctor. The subject has been amply covered."

Dr: "Good. Then I should tell you one last symptom you'll be dealing with."

Em: "Sir?"

Dr: "It's the itching."

Em: "Itching, sir?"

Dr: "Yes. For some reason, the Pecocet is going to make you very very itchy. I'd say about 20 minutes after each dose you'll start to itch and wont be able to stop. It'll feel like you're sporting long underwear made of a wool/cat hair blend which is also housing a colony of teeny tiny fire ants."

Dr: "You'll probably want to buy some sandpaper sheets."

That's what he shoulda said.



Meds kicking in again. Gotta find my back scratcher.
goodnite (#**@($)!!

Bring Out Your Dead

Well, after waiting in pre-op for 5 hours Em finally had her surgery. AS I pulled her out of the hospital bed the only real coherent sentence she made was 'You need to do a post with a picture of Monty Python's "I'm not dead yet."' So for your enjoyment here is the whole skit! (I think she just wanted the picture of the lady whacking the cat.)

I think someone did hit her on the head when my back was turned. When I went back to take her upstairs from the coach she couldn't even stand.

No worries though, the fridge and freezer are well stocked thanks to our sponsors from Yoplait and Dryers!

Sure, if you look closely you might say she wont be able to eat the Samoas ice cream if it has chunks of cookie in it. Well, I may have been opportunistic and got some for me. Its OK though, Trust me.

**I also presented her with a bike bell for summoning the Butler, ME, and a dry erase board for her to write out her commands and impart her cleaver wit to me and her family, lest it wither and die.

*Thank you to all those who have been praying for her and those local friends who have been helping her/me/the boys. Keep praying though, I think the pain has only just begun. Tami your Lasagna was great!!

Wish Me Luck!

I'm going to the hospital in an hour.  

Yesterday at my pre-op appointment:

Me:  "Can I just get a feeding tube so I wont have to swallow?"  (Haha, I'm so funny.)

Nurse:  "That would be like having spikes down your throat."

Nurse:  "It'll be better just to swallow.  Of course, that will feel like swallowing spikes too."

Me:  ($%&*#!!!  That's not funny at all!)  "Umm...how about an IV for fluids?  I'm...not good with pain."

Nurse:  "How many kids have you had?"

Me:  "This is way scarier than that."  (No one ever says anything about "spikes"  before labor.)

Later:

Doug:  You're banned from making any on-line purchases for the next two weeks.   (There may have been an incident in the past involving Lortab and over $100 of Cookie Lee Jewelry.)

Me:  Then I'd better hurry and submit my order to Amazon right now...!

Doug:  NO!  You're already under the influence of stress!

Even Later:

Me:  "Hey!  Maybe we can get the second season of "Lost" and watch it while I'm recovering!"

Me:  "But then I probably wont remember it later..."

Doug:  "Yeah...I already thought of that..."

This Morning:

Doug:  "What kind of ice cream do you want me to buy?"

Me:  "All kinds!!!  Every kind!!!"  (Every cloud has a silver lining.)

Speaking of nutrition, we have a WINNER!!!

I wish I were a winner...

See you sometime next week!!!

(check Doug's blog in the next few days to find out if I die of pain.)

Bring on the Percocet!

Dr:  What do you know about Tonsillectomies?

Me:  From the other ENT's I've talked to, I know they're excruciatingly painful for adults.

Dr:  That's right.  There aren't enough bad adjectives to describe how horrible they are.  They're just really really really gruesome for adults.  Ever had a canker sore?  It's like having two canker sores THIS BIG in the back of your throat.  You'll be down for a good two weeks.

Me:  What do you mean by "down"?  How down?  When can I take care of my kids?

Dr:   I'd give yourself 5-7 days.  But it'll be another week after that until you feel better.

How do you handle pain...?

Doug:  NOT WELL!

(such a reassuring visit...)

Tonsillectomy and Myringotomy: Wednesday

I can't wait!

Stay tuned to read me blogging under the influence! May include brief episodes of memory loss, hallucinations, and reports of extravagant on-line shopping expenditures!!!

P.S.  Contest ends tomorrow!  (my Monday.)

P.P.S.  Do NOT under any circumstances look at before and after tonsillectomy videos on YouTube.  (heave!)

P.P.P.S.  I'm going to request they save them for me in a jar.

The New Place in Town

I'd tell you the name, buuuut...

A smiling employee greeted us at the door and the rest of the employee's yelled a welcome when we entered.  They seriously have the best customer service here!!!

Sam just wants a Grilled Cheese Sandwich.  (Is that too much to ask?)

Notice the tissue box...most restaurants have these on the table in place of napkins.

Contemplating the menu...

at least I know my order will make me serenely happy!

Gabe and I will have the Gyoza and Rice...

"See these?  They're MINE!"

Doug ordered some sort of Ramen.  (The main offering at this particular place.)

Extra noodles for Sammy:

"I'll eat it.  And I may even like it.  But I WON'T smile under any circumstances!"

It may not have had Grilled Cheese, but we liked it anyway!  Can't wait for my next lunch date!!!

P.S.  Don't forget!!!  You still have a few more days so don't forget to enter the contest HERE!

Feeling Click-y?

If you haven't visited Doug's blog lately, you're missing out.  Now would be a good time to stop by.  Click here.

I'm doing a Book Review/Contest at my review blog.  You should add www.gratuitousreviews.blogspot.com to your Reader.  Then, click here.

When you're done with all those clicks and you want to watch something really super cool, click one more time: (found on the blog of Fabulous Photographer Jen) Click here!

Notes From The Trenches

Note 1:  I tend to track my children audibly.  I may not always have my eyes on them, but I'm usually listening and following their movements and actions through sound.  So the other day, when Doug and I were putting a rug down in the front entry way, I was well aware of Gabe entering the kitchen.

I heard him going in and I heard him pushing a stool around and then making noise at the counter.  Then I listened as he got down and started heading towards us in the entry.  I heard him do a little hacking cough a few times and immediately wondered what he'd gotten into on the kitchen counter.

As he walked down the hall towards us, he coughed a little, pointed at his mouth, and upon  reaching us, proceeded to yak on the new rug.  Yep, full on spew-fest on the new floor covering.

Doug grabbed him and carried him to the bathroom while I went for a washcloth and to see what in the world he'd eaten.  On the counter was a small jar of ground cinnamon.  In the open jar, was a baby spoon.

Note to self 1:  Approximately 1 tsp. of ground cinnamon, when swallowed, will cause almost instantaneous puking in small children.  Use this knowledge with discretion.

Note to self 1a:  Don't leave out the cinnamon.

NOTE 2:  The other day Sam walked out of kitchen carrying a can of Cheese Pringles and asked if he could have some.  Now, normally we don't buy chips, but these were on sale cheap so I couldn't resist.  Since I was on the phone and since he's so darn cute, I opened the can and let him have a few then stuck the can on my desk and forgot about it.  

A little later, Sam demanded a snuggle.  Gabe was asleep and Max still at school.  I was happy to oblige and plopped myself down on the couch for some cuddle-time.  A few minutes later, I was asleep and Sam was bored.  He got up quietly, and just as quietly got into the Pringles.  A minute later, a chip was pressed to my sleeping lips and a soft voice whispered in my ear "Mom, do you wanna kip?"

Note to self 2:  Sam is considerate enough to let me sleep, even while simultaneously waking me up.  And nice enough to share even if it is stolen property.

Note 3:  Max and I have been doing a lot of reading lately.  Every night at bed time, after he's in his jammies and has had his teeth brushed by Daddy, he meets me in my room for story time.  Since August, we've gotten through quite a few books and I'm starting to get desperate for age appropriate, appealing-to-boys-and-moms chapter books.  Which is what led me to pull The Adventures of Tom Sawyer out of my line of nice leather bound Children's Classics.  About one page into it, I realized I'd made a mistake.  Not only do I have to translate literally every paragraph because the language is so hard to understand, but Tom Sawyer is NOT a good example!  Which is why Max loves it.  Last night he told me "I wish I was Tom Sawyer!  That way I could do whatever I wanted a break all the rules!!!"

Note to self 3:  Quit giving your already mischievous son more ideas!!!

That's all I've got for ya.  Just writing this has made me tired.  

I'm gonna go take a nap.  

But not before I lock up the Pringles.

We Don't Make Resolutions...

We make contracts.

(Evidently.)

At least this year.

And it's probably all my greedy fault.

When I was a kid, to motivate us to read we got paid a penny a page.

Back-rubs and *shudder* foot-rubs cost my dad at least .50 cents.

Then there was always selling Bird Whistles at the 4th of July parade and lemonade stands the rest of the summer to earn money.

As I got older, I got paid for extra work around the house and yard, for filing at my dads office ($5/hour), and for babysitting. ($1-2/hour--Per kid, if I was lucky.)  

When I turned 15, I got a job at the only fast food place in town that would hire a 15 year old:  KFC.  I would come home with my hair and clothing reeking of grease, but MAN did I love that pay check.

My point here is, I'm highly motivated to earn money.  Always have been.  And it looks like my kids will be too.  

I asked Max if he'd go off of candy for one year for $100.  He immediately agreed.  And we're talking about a boy who really, REALLY loves candy.  

(In High School I went off Chocolate, Candy, and Gum for one year to earn $150.)

Later, we amended the rules a bit and he signed a contract stating that for every month he goes without candy, he can earn $10.  That way, there's still some wiggle room but even greater earning potential.  (He's planning to buy a Wii.)

Then Doug wanted in on action.  Not for himself, for me.  He's already bribed me to read my scriptures every day for a year by offering a lap top.  (Done and done!)  Now he's offered me $300 to give up ice cream for a year and the Eva Zeisel gift of my choice

if I exercise twice a week until Mother's Day!  

Of course, I agreed to both. 

(Though I do wonder why I now have to earn my Mother's Day gifts and I DID tell him I'll never exercise again after Mother's Day.  Just out of spite.)

So I don't know if this all is quite in the spirit of the New Year's Resolution, but I do know that this method is much much more successful!  

And you can't argue with results.

Happy New Year!

Notes from Church

"I know that this house of God is the word of wisdom!"  Thomas, age 6, in testimony meeting yesterday.

Doug: "Why did the Wise Men kneel down when they saw Jesus?"

Aubrey (age 5):  "Because it was low."


Doug:  "How can you get somebody a present without any money?"
Eva (age 5):  "With a CREDIT CARD!"

A Girl Has Needs

Doug says I'm the most sentimental girl in the world. And it's sorta true. I do love things with meaning. I loooove heirlooms, and antiques, and tradition, and things with symbolism and meaning and...symbolism! That's why I have a new place to shop! The NY Metropolitan Museum of Art On-line Store!!!   It has ton's of cool stuff.  All of which is somehow related to great works of art.

I stumbled upon the following items shopping for a new calendar.  I REALLY need a new calendar if I'm going to get my life in order in 2009.  I use mini wall calendars because they're small enough to fit into my purse, but cute enough to hang up at home.  Unfortunately, the BX bookstore only has two options of the mini variety: Dilbert and Mary Englebreit.  Been there, done both of those.  (Hey, I'm a woman of eclectic tastes.)  So I went to the Met store and I immediately found just what I needed:  

Season's of Impressionism Mini Wall Calendar.

This calendar features the work of famous Impressionist and Post-Impressionist painters Vincent van Gogh, Claude Monet, Paul Cézanne, Édouard Manet, and Alfred Sisley, among others. Bold brushstrokes convey the sense of each season, from the vibrant tones of the autumn harvest to the delicate hues of spring flowers, from the icy shades of a winter landscape to the sultry tones of summer.12-month format, including mini calendars of July–December 2007. 7 in. x 14 in. when open.
Original Price $8.95
Member Price: $2.02 each
Non-Member Price: $2.24 each

Hellooooo!  It's perfect!!

And even better, it's on sale!)

But who wants to pay shipping and handling on a $2.24 purchase?  Not me!  So I started looking at some other sale items and found these:

The Sumerian Ring

Ur was the most powerful of the Sumerian city-states in Mesopotamia about 2500 B.C. The ring is based on an original Sumerian pair of earrings dating back about 2600–2500 B.C. They were found in a tomb at Ur, along with vast amounts of other jewelry—testimony to the opulence of Sumerian life as well as to the skill of Sumerian craftsmen. Produced in cooperation with The Walters Art Museum, Baltimore.
Sterling silver. Width 7/8 in. Available in size 6, 7, or 8.

Original Price $110
Member Price: $49.50 each
Non-Member Price: $55.00 each

The Spiral Filigree Ring

Marie Krivánková (Czech, 1883–1936), a famous designer in Prague during the first quarter of the 20th century, made abundant use of both filigree and spiral motifs in her work, and combined these elements in a sensitive, yet unconventional way to produce jewelry of timeless elegance. The design of our ring is based on an extraordinary silver brooch (ca. 1912) set with an amethyst stone. Produced in cooperation with the Museum of Decorative Arts, Prague-UPM.Sterling silver, lightly antiqued, with mother-of-pearl. Width 5/8 in. Available in size 6, 7, or 8.

Original Price $95
Member Price: $64.13 each
Non-Member Price: $71.25 each

Sutton Hoo Black Agate Ring

(kinda manly, but still cool.)

In 1939 in Suffolk, England, archaeologists uncovered the Sutton Hoo ship burial, which had remained undiscovered since the 7th century A.D. The burial chamber, erected in the middle of the ship, contained the extraordinarily rich belongings of a king, most of which are considered the finest examples of Anglo-Saxon craftsmanship ever discovered. The design on this ring is based on the border of a jeweled purse lid found during the excavation. Produced in cooperation with The British Museum, London.
Sterling silver, hand-inlaid with black agate. Width 3/16 in. Available in size 6, 7, or 8.

Original Price $145
Member Price: $65.25 each
Non-Member Price: $72.50 each

and the

Viking RingThe Viking period began when Scandinavian warriors, driven from their homeland by social pressures, political strife, and quest for trade, raided coastal lands in the British Isles and Europe, even reaching North America. Aided by their swift, elegantly built ships, the Vikings (named after the Old English word for “pirate”) explored and colonized vast regions, trading from Greenland to Constantinople. Viking men and women wore jewelry as a visible badge of wealth and status. The decorative vocabulary of weapons, pins, brooches, pendants, and buckles made of precious metals and bronze was dominated by stylized animal patterns, sometimes reaching an abstraction of great complexity and sophistication. More simple pieces, such as neck rings and thick metal armbands, are notable for their size and extravagant use of gold or silver. The Museum’s ring is based on a torque-shaped armlet from the late 6th–early 7th century. The original is made of silver and was found in the Ukraine with a hoard comprising over one hundred silver objects thought to represent part of the treasure of an unknown local ruler. Produced in cooperation with The British Museum, London.
Sterling silver. Width 1/4 in. Available in size 6, 7, or 8.

Original Price $95
Member Price: $42.75 each
Non-Member Price: $47.50 each

This will be my on-line jewelry store of choice when we're rich.  (Which will probably be any day now.)

In the mean time, I'll have to make due with my mini calendar.

Post Script:  By the time I placed my order, the calendar was sold out.  As was the Van Gogh print that was on sale for $4.95.  DANG!  2009 is now a wash.

Back to Work

Today I went back to work for the first time since December 4th, 2001.  (The day before Max was born.)  

Starting on Tuesday evening, I'll be teaching two night classes for the base Arts and Crafts center:  Beginning Wheel Throwing, and Beginning Hand Building.  But part of my job includes working the occasional half-Saturday at the Arts and Crafts store.  

And today was my first day.  And yeah...it was pretty sweet.  I got to use a price gun, (Though it loses it's novelty after the first 100 or so orange stickers...) I learned how to use the register and credit card machine, and when there were no customers, I got to work on some of my pots.  (During down time you're encouraged to scrapbook or work on any other craft project you might have or the store might need.  Shhhweeeet!!!)

When I came home, the house was spotless (including bathrooms) and Doug immediately started making a gourmet meal.  (Sesame seed seared beef with noodles and veggies.)  Proving once and for all that he is a much better stay-at-home mom than I am.

BUT, I have one small consolation...while at work, I got a call from Doug.  He wanted to know where my nail polish remover was.  Evidently, while using super glue, some leaked out and stuck the container firmly to his fingers.

I think it's the simple pleasures in life that make it worthwhile!  

Don't you agree?